1002 - Girl in Gold Boots
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Just take a stripper out of petty cash and go.
Why do people even go to movies that don't feature underwear?
I just don't know.
Man. I left the Jesuits for this?
Thanks, but we're casting The Tempest here.
Even the sex and drug industry has a seamier side.
So...are you going to the company picnic?
Man, if you're the town drunk of L.A. you've got problems!
Then my miiiind had babies and got stretch marks.
"He has no way to finger you... Without my help." Since you're wearin' a jumpsuit...
Me? Oh, I'm still ugly.
"Tonight, I shall get good and drunk." It's good to have dreams, I guess...
A little afternoon delight?
You tell funny foreign currency jokes!
"Michelle and Buzz."
I'll allow it.
"I guess I was just tired."
That's why I didn't really do anything to make you mad.
Well, we're not gonna have fun now!
We'll snub him. Let's organize a party quick and not invite him!
Did he just say "licky me"?
They forgot to take the microphone out of the box.
Let's go back to law school. We're terrible bikers.
Wow, I'll check the employee handbook, but I THINK that's outta line.
Crack! Now in easy-to-take crack tablets!
Man, she put on seven pairs of false eyelashes and didn't notice.
Here. Put on Bea Arthur's muumuu.
He should be showing more leg!
Yeah, someone else's leg.
Oop, forget that scene, never mind.
OK, you're a dancer, get out, bye.
Hey, my butt is drunk!
♪♫ "Do you want to laugh or cry..." - ....or look like John Tesh~ ♪♫
♫ Oh, fur-lined bra... ♫
Ah, what manner of "loaf" will I have tonight?
To the G-chord! The G-chord, man! Now!
They want corn husks!
So she stopped dancing, and she's in a barber shop quartet, now...
He's a tower of oil...
Now, we gotta drag her out on stage and take her clothes off manually...
Next, Kitty Carlisle will read HOWL...
- Why do we even go to movies that don't feature underwear?!
- I don't know!
Oh, man, the duct tape did not come off easy, tonight, whoa!
Hey, they drove straight to Christmas village, to blow the wad!
El Kabong is stalking them!
It's a neighbor from the next county, asking them to turn down the music...
Hey, I just teleported here! It's impressive!
Tin candy bars?
The Laurel & Hardy of strippers.
Excuse me - I'm gonna go over here and fart.
Well, I don't know about you guys, but - I'm an icky elf.
There's one minor complication - I smell like ham.
I think the greasy pusher likes me!
"How are you doing?"
How would I know?
♫♪♫ We're the Bank of America! Wo-oo! ♫♪♫
Please accept my tongue as an apology.
"I'm not getting smart with you."
This is EAT times FOUR!
Well met, fair Critter!
I enjoy your pants as well.
I blink at you.
I'm a crummy critter.
How do you NOT get hired here?
Good luck with your addiction, bye!
That's my sister, the one in the middle.
The one who just fell off the stage?
Tin Hershey Bars? Those are hard to eat!
Candy forgot her gold boots, she's in trouble!
Everybody do the agitator cycle!
Shouldn't we be in individual booths for this movie?
Do you think her dad will give her away at the wedding?
He'll probably try to sell her, actually.
Ha ha ha. We're icky.
Thank you! I hope that in my small way I have kept my gold boots movin'. Thank you!
I couldn't possibly go further in show business!
And CONVULSE! ...and CONVULSE!
It's illegal to not stop at Eat.
I'm going to get a goodbye slap from dad.
Pepsi paid handsomely for this product placement.
I just found out what's in the special sauce.
Filmed on location at Eat.
"But I'm bigger than that." I'm Adolph Hitler.
Somewhere, Charleton Heston is weeping.
Dr. Doolittle? That doesn't look like Eddy Murphy!
Words, bread, must be Samuel Johnson with a baguette.
I drive in reverse and get some of that gas back.
And so passed the "Eat" phase of my life.
"Why don't we go back to law school --- we're terrible bikers."
Did you guys ever notice those girls in front of us when we play? What's all that about?
Slipping on filth is fun!
Hey, this thing's coated with squirrel guts!
Now it's kind of like vaguely sexual wallpaper.
Come to my dimension, it's fun over here!
"You're about the same size I am." "Except you're misshapen and horrible."
This is from the L.A. Skank Collection.
"Excuse me young fellow, could I get a fix?... Really, I'm really strung out and in need of some Mary Jane or reefer."
Do the giant toddler dance!
Maybe I should have a poetry slam on Wednesdays...*BURP*
Sounds like Max and 99 should be sneaking around outside.
Sure hope shish shtill shwings at that shpot on Shunshet.
My father passed away. I stuck his head in the deep fryer.
Here's a puzzler, who of these two is worse at their art form?
Yes, my plan is perfect! I've been spotted by several people and I killed a guy.
Oh my goodness, she's hepped up on the drugs!
She makes Elaine Benes look like a good dancer.
I'll direct you to the Dancer's Brother's Lounge.
Wait, it was a dream. He's kissing his Budweiser.
Can you stop for a second? I have to dance.
Who am I? I'm Mrs. Kruschev! Hee, hee, hee!
Kay now, this is how you frighten a black bear in your camp. Now let's try dancing.
CLAP CLAP CLAP. DON'T! The fryer is hooked up to the clapper!
Ed Grimley choreographed this dance.
What's wrong? I just found out what's in the special sauce.
Sorry we shot ya back there Mr. Hopper
Your money's from Senegal!
"I've been carrying around a billfold of Nepalese money." - From the land of Nipple!
Anybody notice that I'm here now?
I'm gonna go get a goodbye slap from dad.
So here's a puzzler. Who of these two is worse at their art form?
Good luck with your addiction, bye!
♫ OR YOUR SILVER ONES WE DON'T MEAN TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST THE OTHER COLOR boots. WHOO! ♫
"Hey, I polished my shirt for you!"
"Man, if it gets any wilder here a bridge game is gonna' break out!"
"The Mount Rushmore of ugly."
"Look, I'm really remorseful, ya' cow!"
"Aw, let's go back to Law School. We're terrible bikers!"
"The bikers are still inside, flipping through Tikkun."
"Y'know what this place needs? A business card jar!"
"The same girl."
"Ah, the nights we'd linger over brandy at Eat."
"Why does Noam Chomsky insist these women open for him?"
"The dancers are wearing oven bags!"
When sexy becomes annoying.
"You're really hooked on this dancing, aren't ya? "
Look, I have ergotism.
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm projecting my dreams again.
"I'm good at dancing" compared 2 Stephen Hawking
Yeah, sure. The front page of the L.A. Times: "Forty Dollar Robbery. Nobody hurt."
"I'll settle for ten Hershey bars, please." - Tin Hershey bars?! Those are hard to eat.
Mike look!! Underwear!!!
Hey! They have tacos.
♫ Keep your silver bra filled with breasts! ♫
Welcome to 'Nothing but Jerky'.
Somebody call for a cab to Laguardia?
You forgot to take the microphone out of the box.
Now I can go to costume parties dressed as margarine!
Well, being Critter, I better shred up some tissue for my bedding tonight.
I got 50 bucks. We got dune buggy rides all week!
Ok, I can have coffee, am I implicitly allowed to take cream as well?
Goodbye fair cowboy knight......I guess.
♪Everything I touch turns to gold♪ What happens when you touch GOLD?
My intentions are honorable, HEH HEH HEH.
Boy, if you're the town drunk of L.A., you've got a problem.
Man, think of the lucky kid who stumbled on THIS haunted house.
There goes--. You can say that a--.
Everything I touch turns to flies.
Yeah, well uh ... you're like a deaf Puff Adder.
So long, odd acquaintance who inexplicably gave us rides in your dune buggy!
"This show made possible by the Onan Foundation."
Apparently the story is none of our business.
I'm glad you're back, I was locked in.
"I can't go out with you because I'm considerably bigger than you."
"Anytime, Yak boy." Thanks, Alpaca man!
"Merry Christmas, everyone. Let's go to the Haunted House!"
"I think someone slipped us their vacation videos."
"This is YOUR sister?" She's really nude!
"Shouldn't we be in individual booths for this movie?"
"Keep your gold boots, movin'--!" --or your silver ones, we don't mean to discriminate against other colored boots!
Here's a puzzler, who of these two is worse at their artform?
Honey! way to play the harmonica with your ass!
Oh, so she stopped dancing and she's in a barbershop quartet now I guess.
"I bet you move pretty good." - Can you help me with my couch on Thursday?
I'm having Critter's varmint!
Welcome to Drink, Boink and Regret.
She may damage her bippy if she keeps doing that.
Do the Wounded Turkey!!!
An 18-story office building?! This could ONLY be L.A.!
Look they have tacos!
Get it !? I'm G.A.Y.
"Whatever, white people."
Uh, that's good, but we're casting The Tempest here...
Oooh Charles Manson walks the streets, the zodiac killer's at large. Charles Bukowski is puking out the window and Santa Claus is on his wayyyy!
Crimes like this never happen anymore now that we have McGruff.
First time I've driven with my blood alcohol under 2. It's really easy!
In my panic I bought nothing but napkins.
I took a toothpick, we can sell it for travelling money.
I reproduced asexually while I was out, sir.
Start seeing motorcycles. SEE?
"I'm a pretty good dancer, too."... Compared to Stephen Hawking.
Wow, she's mildly less frumpy!
This makes me wanna throw hard candy at people!
Come on! I just teleported here, it's impressive!
I'm an icky elf.
Oh a gun, so that was the loud report and burning sensation in my groin.
Ahhhh!! They're throwing us violently into the next scene!