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1003 - Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
Comments (21) Best Riffs (116)
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So Billy, by this time a kid had thrown a chicken while an infertile couple had looked at a store.
"No Grandpa Borgnine, leave light and hope for me, please!"
"Get out from behind that cushion, Billy. It gets worse."
"Merlin! I LOVE YOU!!" - But not you Debbie! You can't give me a child!
The ugly guy in the movie reviews novelty stores in seedy strip malls and he's FAMOUS!
-Tonight on "Old Lady Gets Killed"
-I'm going to go hit the mystical can
-that bastard, he turned me into Ben Franklin!
"Ed from next door came over and got me pregnant, so everything's fine!"
"The old man's funk is overpowering me... It's getting stronger. It's like ammonia and White Castles™!"
[calling cat] "Biffy, Biffy..." I've got your Fancy Feast served in Waterford crystal with parsley.
"Then the devil cat grabbed his throat, pulling out bloody strips of sinew and flesh."
"Grandpa Borgnine!"
And finally, good people, give me all your cookies and I won't have you killed!
First of all, those violating martial law will be torn in half by sumo wrestlers!
"David, never let it know!" You stupid BASTARD! I could stab you in the eyes right NOW, so help me GOD!
"God help me!" Sorry, Unitarian, according to you I'm in the butterflies and the sun and I'm just a vague benevolent force. You're on your own.
Ha! He made Satan the owner of my soul... I gotta give it to ya Merlin!! Good one!
"I know he resents me for not being able to get pregnant on our own.." WHOA!! TOO MUCH INFORMATION!
My point is, Billy, that a man dies with a whimper, looking into the face of ultimate darkness.
y'know Satan could've at least blended the edges of his bald wig a little better.
Try the Merlin chop, a half pound of Merlin served with steak fries, vegetable of the day, and whipped dessert.
Making Satan the owner of my soul. I gotta hand it to you Merlin, good one.
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Merlin's Mystical Shop of YUM!!!!
Whoo hoo! I LOVE bags!
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I love that the movie influences Crow and Servo to competitively review each other in the host segment. "My second trip to Tom Servo was even a GREATER disappointment!" Now who could I review...
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oh my gosh....the ridiculous music at 25:05-25:30. haha i love how Servo mocks it. this is a well riffed film but definitely one of the more depressing movies viewed. some of these 90s films throw me off, especially the latter half which seems more 70s
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n old hippy arrives in a puff of smoke, and no pot jokes? Well maybe it would have been TOO easy.
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I absolutely hate this movie. Let's go over what happens. They kill a cat, kill a dog, and then think it would be exciting to almost kill a kid. And they think it's all whimsical. I loathe this movie, and think anyone who worked on it should be locked away forever.
However, the riffing is great.
George R.R. Martin cameo on the park bench at the end? :P
AAAAGGGHHH! WHAT IS THIS MOVIE???
I forgot how good this episode was, minute 1:27 had me laughing so hard I almost choked.
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OK, so of all the people involved in the production of this POS, did nobody at any point stop and say "Wait a minute, this is completely messed up"?
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"Isn't it darling?"
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So all the women in that family think the monkey toy is cute. The kid has bigger problems than the movie had time to explore.
I can only imagine how many "Borgnine masturbates a lot" jokes would be in this episode if it aired today.
oh man, tom and crow reviewing each other gave me belly laughs! "the verdict is in, no one wants a pompous, chubby eunich!"
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9 people watching this tonight...All in honor of Mr. Borgnine, I imagine.
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This is by far one of the best episodes, right up there with Time Chasers and Space Mutiny.
The cartoon at about 1:02:43 is "Balloon Land" and I highly recommend watching it, because goddamn is it weird.
TERROR OF BALLOONY LAND!
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As you can guess from the comments below, this is a delightfully whimsical (and whimsically delightful) children's movie... if you hate children. The Screaming Skull had less death and supernatural mayhem than this.
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The whole monkey story is a blatant ripoff of a Stephen King short story from"Skeleton Crew".
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The cymbal playing monkey haunts my dreams.
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This one actually freaks me out.