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1004 - Future War



Viewers_big 2 people watching this episode right now.
153 laughs

Comments (57) Best Riffs (219)

2 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
James GreyWolf - 26 days ago

09:16 Crow: "So. It wasn't a giant meteor. It was a Daisy Air Rifle that killed the dinosaurs."

Speaking from experience, that is a distinct possibility. In my childhood, I had a Daisy Air Rifle. At one point, my brother, as a joke, shot me with that air rifle. My God, the blood, the pain, the stitches, IT WAS HORRIBLE. Ok... there were no stitches... and it didn't actually break the skin, so I didn't really lose any blood... But dammit, it stung pretty nasty for a few minutes.

I really think that, with a Daisy and a bunch of REALLY nasty paper cuts, it would be possible to wipe out the entire Dinosaur population from earth... (which really wouldn't be hard, since they are already extinct.)


Great Laughs
0 laughs

Sean Natale - about 1 month ago

1:05:30......."Yo! Lets collect wild flowers." HAHAHA! Too damn Funny! They have to be the worst gang in history.


0 laughs

Dutch42 - about 1 month ago

So. . . 56:05 . . .The outer space tool studied under Bruce Lee. . . and got a failing grade?


0 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Teri Gee - about 1 month ago

I really like this episode, but I do wonder why they decided to have the bots being so derogatory during the closing credits. That's far from the silliest thing they've ever done. Why so bothered by Mike doing it this time?

Yes, I'm relaxed, just curious. :)


0 laughs

Anthony Huntley - about 1 month ago

OK 2 points. First cyborg technology is advanced enough to make spaceships and time travel yet thumbs are too difficult to make. Secondly we now know it wasn't an asteroid that killed the dinosaurs but that they died of shame from their incredible lameness.


0 laughs

Anthony Huntley - about 1 month ago

"I am a tool" yep that line sums up everybody who was involved in making this drek.


0 laughs

James GreyWolf - 2 months ago

Ok. I am a LONE SWAT guy (that, in and of itself, is just plain wrong). I am walking through a dark storage area. I find a splatter of fresh blood on the floor. What is the first thing I do? I PUT MY WEAPON DOWN. Yeah. They train SWAT guys to do that, don't they?


0 laughs

Leo Brochu - 3 months ago

Boy this is a weird one... who knew 'Kazja' is actually a man (Z'Dar's fight double and 'professional' knife fighting instructor) and Travis Brooks Stewart is a woman?


0 laughs

Teri Gee - 3 months ago

I just watched the original trailer for this movie...and not even editing it down to less than 90 seconds could disguise how badly made it is. Some of the trailers I've seen make the movie look interesting. This one did not. Maybe if the dinosaurs looked the least bit threatening. :)


0 laughs

Dave Ryder - 4 months ago

He says it's a POUND of 'high grade white'...and she asks "is it a killing dose?" WTF?


1 laugh

Stephen A Nathe - 5 months ago

This is SOOOO a crap'arody of TERMINATOR/TERMINATOR 2...
not just the police station part, but the entire basic concept('cept with Dinosaurs thrown into the mixer, and put on "COMPLETELY BOTCHED")...
the NUN narrating, just like Sarah Connor...and so on.
Even the cop's name Polaris is clearly ripping into the attempted Future theme, taking liberty from Lt. Traxler from the first TERMINATOR.

Good lord...


1 laugh

2 replies Comment-icon

Did I mention that four days ago a fire fell from the sky?


4 laughs

Maybe don't teach your slaves kickboxing, I don't know.


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Gourry Gabriev - 5 months ago

Who wants to start a Kickstarter for hallmark cards that say "Thank you for not killing me?" Anybody?


2 laughs

(1:01:25) Absolutely anyone who has gone beyond high school-level science should know YOU DON'T WEAR OPEN-TOED SHOES IN A LAB. That is lab safety 101.


0 laughs

Stephen A Nathe - 6 months ago

wow!! the scene in the police station is parodying/ripping-off/crapping-all-over the police station scene from the FIRST "Terminator".....wow!


well, this explains some of it...!
2 laughs


3 laughs

Eileen Fay - 6 months ago

I know it is the simplest of all possible riffs, but I can't not explode with a guffaw every time the dinosaur smashes through the nun's door and Mike says "Amway!"

(And, the Swiss-born hero is surprisingly good-looking, for a change.)


2 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Stephen A Nathe - 7 months ago

another FINE look at the "future" in a 90s movie P.O.V.
makes me wonder when cloned raptors controlled by cyborgs will overrun and enslave human "tools"---who then come back in time, and fight nuns and fat dudes...


2 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Punch Rockgroin - 7 months ago

Plan 9 From Outer Space was better than this movie...can someone tell me why they got on that damn train hobo style?!


5 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Jenica Burgos - 9 months ago

This movie is weirdly adorable.


5 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Teridactyl - 10 months ago

Robert Z'Dar has a face like a ___________.
A.) a catcher's mitt
B.) a collapsed soufflé
C.) a jack-o-lantern on November 8th
D.) that face-thing on Mars
E.) other (fill in the blank)


2 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Ray Garraty - 10 months ago

Just watched for the first time in ages. This movie has a 1.7 out of 10 on IMDB, the same rating as Riding with Death. I'd rather watch Riding with Death ten times to every one time of this; this crap belongs in the class of bad movies with Manos, Monster A-Go Go, and the rest of the real painful films.


2 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon

Awful. Simply awful.


4 laughs

Ted Chase - 11 months ago

Love that this movie tried to do both killer alien cyborg, hand-to-hand combat, AND dinosaurs - all with a budget that wouldn't be enough for a student film...


3 laughs

6 replies Comment-icon
Crypto Dentist - about 1 year ago

I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but personally this movie was harder to get through than Castle of Fu Manchu. It's just... awful.


1 laugh

Jon - about 1 year ago

My favorite character is the French resistance fighter.


2 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
killershrew - about 1 year ago

just watched this again for the first time in a long time...and is now one of my instant favorites...the riffs are so great and such a terrible film. although this has some of the best action scenes of any mst3k movie. though i suppose that's not saying much. "i found part of a burger, wanted to know if i can eat it? it's not that dirty. split it with ya?"


2 laughs

Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 1 year ago

I can't believe anyone or a set of anyone's actually came up with that plot! They must have been stoned that day. Silly ppl, you can't teach lizards! It took 10 minutes to kill the android in the first part of the movie but only an empty cardboard box to kill a dinosaur? *groan* Take me away Kalga!


3 laughs

Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 1 year ago

Everyone that has sat through this entire movie deserves a "Valorous Badge of Valorous Conduct!" *g* Please see Pearl for purchase.


2 laughs

James Krummel - over 1 year ago

Wow. Just...wow. How was this movie even approved? Stuff like this just boggles the mind. What's even worse is this was a recent (for MST that is) release. '97?! Can you imagine if Jurassic Park used these effect guys? Actually, I want to see that now... :P


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Phil Carstens - over 1 year ago

The shot at 22:32, is that forced perspective and a hand puppet? Good God, the people who made this movie make Ed Wood seem like a cinematic genius.


5 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Bozohotep - over 1 year ago

Boy, even Torgo couldn't have saved this one.


4 laughs

Ash Parker - over 1 year ago

Fantastic riffs in the beginning "save the meatballs!" And "this happens twice a day". The movie is god awful but might be one of the better riffs I have heard


4 laughs

Zap Rowsdower - over 1 year ago

Pearl Forrester and her wacky MKULTRA studies...


10 laughs

Ruth E Fabiano - over 1 year ago

LOL I absolutely love it when the guys just laugh.


7 laughs

Michael S - over 1 year ago

sooooo (to paraphrase Crow).... other than the time frame is not in the future, and it has no actual war in the film, the name is a perfect description of the film and what it is about... [considering slamming head into wall as it would be less painful than watching this movie]


7 laughs

Michael S - over 1 year ago

I'll be darned, the candy bar did change!


6 laughs

Fredrick Stafford - over 1 year ago

I hope to see you all at the annual Fred Burroughs Memorial Pipe Smoking Breakfast and Dinosaur Hunt. Unfortunately, Sister Ann is “indisposed” again this year (rehab), however, “The 12th Street Gang” will perform, a finance lecture will be given by Chadwick, and The Runaway will stage kickboxing bouts with the kids! Come join the fun!


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Jerome Montgomery II - over 1 year ago

You know a movie this bad when they've this at the goowill for 10 cents and on DVD.


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Mike Carmona - over 1 year ago

Why does this movie feel like it was made by a poor man's Michael Bay?


3 laughs

5 replies Comment-icon
Daniel Durham - over 1 year ago

i really wanted to like this episode. really... the riffing is great but the film itself is just so horrible it goes way beyond the concept of being so bad it is good.


4 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Fancy Pantserton - almost 2 years ago

.,..this is almost like a lamer version of battlefield earth...and that's saying something: L. Ron Hubbard was a hack. He started a religion on a bet you know. He is one of those writers that writes a whole lot, but produces nothing but tripe and crap, like stephen king...so, yes, saying this is lamer is saying something, but it's more appealing somehow...


5 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Fancy Pantserton - almost 2 years ago

Oh hey. They Jean-Claude-esque fellow, Daniel Bernhardt (Swiss martial artist) was agent Johnson in Matrix Reloaded. He was the agent in the first fight in the movie, where the agents were finishing each others' sentences. Agent Jackson said "He is still.." then Agent Johnson said "onlyt human", and then fighting...


7 laughs

Narcotic Casserole is terrible, but still better than most of the college bands I used to hang out with.


8 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Stephen - almost 2 years ago

25:30 "What've we've got?"
I'm sorry, no. That is not the corrects English. I would've accepted've:
"What've we got?" or "What do we got?", but not "What've we've got?"


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon

T-Dog from The Walking Dead is always getting devoured by something.


8 laughs

Terminator + Universal Soldier + Dinosaurs - Several Hundred Million Dollars = Future War


5 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon

God I hope the master race doesn't have gay porn mustaches and mullets.


7 laughs

There's always a lot of violence at the empty box warehouse.


4 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Kelly Slane - about 2 years ago

Gotta love movie nuns! ;)


12 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon

The scrapbook in this movie has to be one of the absolute worst plot devices in the history of the cinema. Who keeps a scrapbook of photos from when they were a junkie prostitute? And where would they get the photos?? Movie, you have some 'splainin' to do!


5 laughs

Gal Dagon - over 2 years ago

We've established how to communicate 'yes' and 'no' that's great! Now, where are you from? Whoever wrote this deserves a swift kick in the face.


10 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Gal Dagon - over 2 years ago

"Three lesbians on a dangerous mission." That actually sounds like a much better movie.


7 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Nick - over 2 years ago

Daniel Bernhardt had about five minutes of mainstream success as one of the three agents Neo fights with at the beginning of The Matrix Reloaded.


8 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Stephen - over 2 years ago

In terms of riffing the credits, this is probably their best effort.


11 laughs

7 replies Comment-icon
NSteve - over 2 years ago

This is bad. Very, very bad. Most bad movies have some redeeming quality lurking among all the bad-- a good actor slumming it, a supporting character who steals the show, an amusing one-liner, an audaciously unusual monster. Not this movie. It is uniformly bad. It is a homogenous mixture of badness, cardboard, and plaid. Even that guy from Soultaker-- the one with the face-- can't save it. Bad, bad, bad.

And yet, somehow, the crew manages to make a good episode out of it. Go fig.