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1004 - Future War



Viewers_big 1 person watching this episode right now.
190 laughs

Comments (65) Best Riffs (230)

1 laugh

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The Princess Elizena - about 1 month ago

Premium hand puppet attacks! Right up there with Hobgoblins!


1 laugh

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Snuffy Wuffykiss - 3 months ago

Z'yes!


2 laughs

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Buffalo Rider - 4 months ago

This is the worst movie they have done. The only nice thing I can say is the nun chick could do well with a real script, a real director and anything that wasn't this. She gave a real effort for this turd. Everything else was hot garbage.


0 laughs

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Erik Helgesen - 5 months ago

This movie showed up in the latest episode of Best of the Worst http://redlettermedia.com/best-of-the-worst-future-war-the-jar-and-white-fire/


0 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - 7 months ago

if anyone wants more "SCIENTIFICALLY ACCURATE" scifi, check rifftrax's FUTUREZONE movies with Mr. Asphyxiation, David Carradine


5 laughs

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Great Scott - 12 months ago

You know, personally, I'd honestly watch and possibly enjoy Sister Penguin and the two large guys fight against future-dinosaurs but Jean-Claude Gosh Darn just brings it all down for me.


1 laugh

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Teri Gee - about 1 year ago

Yes, I know the flaws are rampant in this movie, but here's another one that I just noticed this time through.

What detective would go into a dangerous situation, where multiple people have been killed and say to the two unarmed civilians, "You two, follow me." ...into the dangerous situation so that we can have to protect you as well as ourselves from an unknown danger.


4 laughs

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I've got to remember the put Fred Burroughs in my Rolodex so I can call him to fill me in any time a movie just forgets to give essential information to its audience.


4 laughs

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James GreyWolf - over 1 year ago

09:16 Crow: "So. It wasn't a giant meteor. It was a Daisy Air Rifle that killed the dinosaurs."

Speaking from experience, that is a distinct possibility. In my childhood, I had a Daisy Air Rifle. At one point, my brother, as a joke, shot me with that air rifle. My God, the blood, the pain, the stitches, IT WAS HORRIBLE. Ok... there were no stitches... and it didn't actually break the skin, so I didn't really lose any blood... But dammit, it stung pretty nasty for a few minutes.

I really think that, with a Daisy and a bunch of REALLY nasty paper cuts, it would be possible to wipe out the entire Dinosaur population from earth... (which really wouldn't be hard, since they are already extinct.)


Great Laughs
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Sean Natale - over 1 year ago

1:05:30......."Yo! Lets collect wild flowers." HAHAHA! Too damn Funny! They have to be the worst gang in history.


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Dutch42 - over 1 year ago

So. . . 56:05 . . .The outer space tool studied under Bruce Lee. . . and got a failing grade?


0 laughs

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Teri Gee - over 1 year ago

I really like this episode, but I do wonder why they decided to have the bots being so derogatory during the closing credits. That's far from the silliest thing they've ever done. Why so bothered by Mike doing it this time?

Yes, I'm relaxed, just curious. :)


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OK 2 points. First cyborg technology is advanced enough to make spaceships and time travel yet thumbs are too difficult to make. Secondly we now know it wasn't an asteroid that killed the dinosaurs but that they died of shame from their incredible lameness.


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"I am a tool" yep that line sums up everybody who was involved in making this drek.


1 laugh

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James GreyWolf - over 1 year ago

Ok. I am a LONE SWAT guy (that, in and of itself, is just plain wrong). I am walking through a dark storage area. I find a splatter of fresh blood on the floor. What is the first thing I do? I PUT MY WEAPON DOWN. Yeah. They train SWAT guys to do that, don't they?


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Leo Brochu - over 1 year ago

Boy this is a weird one... who knew 'Kazja' is actually a man (Z'Dar's fight double and 'professional' knife fighting instructor) and Travis Brooks Stewart is a woman?


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Teri Gee - over 1 year ago

I just watched the original trailer for this movie...and not even editing it down to less than 90 seconds could disguise how badly made it is. Some of the trailers I've seen make the movie look interesting. This one did not. Maybe if the dinosaurs looked the least bit threatening. :)


1 laugh

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Dave Ryder - over 1 year ago

He says it's a POUND of 'high grade white'...and she asks "is it a killing dose?" WTF?


2 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - over 1 year ago

This is SOOOO a crap'arody of TERMINATOR/TERMINATOR 2...
not just the police station part, but the entire basic concept('cept with Dinosaurs thrown into the mixer, and put on "COMPLETELY BOTCHED")...
the NUN narrating, just like Sarah Connor...and so on.
Even the cop's name Polaris is clearly ripping into the attempted Future theme, taking liberty from Lt. Traxler from the first TERMINATOR.

Good lord...


1 laugh

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Stereo Catz - over 1 year ago

Did I mention that four days ago a fire fell from the sky?


7 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 1 year ago

Maybe don't teach your slaves kickboxing, I don't know.


6 laughs

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Gourry Gabriev - over 1 year ago

Who wants to start a Kickstarter for hallmark cards that say "Thank you for not killing me?" Anybody?


3 laughs

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(1:01:25) Absolutely anyone who has gone beyond high school-level science should know YOU DON'T WEAR OPEN-TOED SHOES IN A LAB. That is lab safety 101.


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Stephen A Nathe - over 1 year ago

wow!! the scene in the police station is parodying/ripping-off/crapping-all-over the police station scene from the FIRST "Terminator".....wow!


well, this explains some of it...!
2 laughs

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3 laughs

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Eileen Fay - over 1 year ago

I know it is the simplest of all possible riffs, but I can't not explode with a guffaw every time the dinosaur smashes through the nun's door and Mike says "Amway!"

(And, the Swiss-born hero is surprisingly good-looking, for a change.)


3 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - almost 2 years ago

another FINE look at the "future" in a 90s movie P.O.V.
makes me wonder when cloned raptors controlled by cyborgs will overrun and enslave human "tools"---who then come back in time, and fight nuns and fat dudes...


4 laughs

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Punch Rockgroin - almost 2 years ago

Plan 9 From Outer Space was better than this movie...can someone tell me why they got on that damn train hobo style?!


6 laughs

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Jenica Burgos - almost 2 years ago

This movie is weirdly adorable.


5 laughs

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Teridactyl - about 2 years ago

Robert Z'Dar has a face like a ___________.
A.) a catcher's mitt
B.) a collapsed soufflé
C.) a jack-o-lantern on November 8th
D.) that face-thing on Mars
E.) other (fill in the blank)


2 laughs

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Ray Garraty - about 2 years ago

Just watched for the first time in ages. This movie has a 1.7 out of 10 on IMDB, the same rating as Riding with Death. I'd rather watch Riding with Death ten times to every one time of this; this crap belongs in the class of bad movies with Manos, Monster A-Go Go, and the rest of the real painful films.


2 laughs

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Awful. Simply awful.


3 laughs

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Ted Chase - about 2 years ago

Love that this movie tried to do both killer alien cyborg, hand-to-hand combat, AND dinosaurs - all with a budget that wouldn't be enough for a student film...


4 laughs

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Crypto Dentist - over 2 years ago

I know I'm going to get a lot of flack for this, but personally this movie was harder to get through than Castle of Fu Manchu. It's just... awful.


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Jon - over 2 years ago

My favorite character is the French resistance fighter.


3 laughs

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killershrew - over 2 years ago

just watched this again for the first time in a long time...and is now one of my instant favorites...the riffs are so great and such a terrible film. although this has some of the best action scenes of any mst3k movie. though i suppose that's not saying much. "i found part of a burger, wanted to know if i can eat it? it's not that dirty. split it with ya?"


2 laughs

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Bruce Ellsworth Reed - over 2 years ago

I can't believe anyone or a set of anyone's actually came up with that plot! They must have been stoned that day. Silly ppl, you can't teach lizards! It took 10 minutes to kill the android in the first part of the movie but only an empty cardboard box to kill a dinosaur? *groan* Take me away Kalga!


3 laughs

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Bruce Ellsworth Reed - over 2 years ago

Everyone that has sat through this entire movie deserves a "Valorous Badge of Valorous Conduct!" *g* Please see Pearl for purchase.


3 laughs

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James Krummel - over 2 years ago

Wow. Just...wow. How was this movie even approved? Stuff like this just boggles the mind. What's even worse is this was a recent (for MST that is) release. '97?! Can you imagine if Jurassic Park used these effect guys? Actually, I want to see that now... :P


4 laughs

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Phil Carstens - over 2 years ago

The shot at 22:32, is that forced perspective and a hand puppet? Good God, the people who made this movie make Ed Wood seem like a cinematic genius.


6 laughs

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Bozohotep - over 2 years ago

Boy, even Torgo couldn't have saved this one.


4 laughs

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Ash Parker - over 2 years ago

Fantastic riffs in the beginning "save the meatballs!" And "this happens twice a day". The movie is god awful but might be one of the better riffs I have heard


3 laughs

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Zap Rowsdower - over 2 years ago

Pearl Forrester and her wacky MKULTRA studies...


10 laughs

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SirenR - over 2 years ago

LOL I absolutely love it when the guys just laugh.


7 laughs

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Michael S - over 2 years ago

sooooo (to paraphrase Crow).... other than the time frame is not in the future, and it has no actual war in the film, the name is a perfect description of the film and what it is about... [considering slamming head into wall as it would be less painful than watching this movie]


7 laughs

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Michael S - over 2 years ago

I'll be darned, the candy bar did change!


6 laughs

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Fredrick Stafford - almost 3 years ago

I hope to see you all at the annual Fred Burroughs Memorial Pipe Smoking Breakfast and Dinosaur Hunt. Unfortunately, Sister Ann is “indisposed” again this year (rehab), however, “The 12th Street Gang” will perform, a finance lecture will be given by Chadwick, and The Runaway will stage kickboxing bouts with the kids! Come join the fun!


3 laughs

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Jerome Montgomery II - almost 3 years ago

You know a movie this bad when they've this at the goowill for 10 cents and on DVD.


3 laughs

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Mike Carmona - almost 3 years ago

Why does this movie feel like it was made by a poor man's Michael Bay?


3 laughs

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Daniel Durham - almost 3 years ago

i really wanted to like this episode. really... the riffing is great but the film itself is just so horrible it goes way beyond the concept of being so bad it is good.


4 laughs

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Fancy Pantserton - about 3 years ago

.,..this is almost like a lamer version of battlefield earth...and that's saying something: L. Ron Hubbard was a hack. He started a religion on a bet you know. He is one of those writers that writes a whole lot, but produces nothing but tripe and crap, like stephen king...so, yes, saying this is lamer is saying something, but it's more appealing somehow...


5 laughs

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Fancy Pantserton - about 3 years ago

Oh hey. They Jean-Claude-esque fellow, Daniel Bernhardt (Swiss martial artist) was agent Johnson in Matrix Reloaded. He was the agent in the first fight in the movie, where the agents were finishing each others' sentences. Agent Jackson said "He is still.." then Agent Johnson said "onlyt human", and then fighting...


7 laughs

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Narcotic Casserole is terrible, but still better than most of the college bands I used to hang out with.


8 laughs

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Stephen - about 3 years ago

25:30 "What've we've got?"
I'm sorry, no. That is not the corrects English. I would've accepted've:
"What've we got?" or "What do we got?", but not "What've we've got?"


3 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

T-Dog from The Walking Dead is always getting devoured by something.


8 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

Terminator + Universal Soldier + Dinosaurs - Several Hundred Million Dollars = Future War


5 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

God I hope the master race doesn't have gay porn mustaches and mullets.


7 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

There's always a lot of violence at the empty box warehouse.


4 laughs

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Kelly Slane - over 3 years ago

Gotta love movie nuns! ;)


14 laughs

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The scrapbook in this movie has to be one of the absolute worst plot devices in the history of the cinema. Who keeps a scrapbook of photos from when they were a junkie prostitute? And where would they get the photos?? Movie, you have some 'splainin' to do!


5 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

We've established how to communicate 'yes' and 'no' that's great! Now, where are you from? Whoever wrote this deserves a swift kick in the face.


10 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

"Three lesbians on a dangerous mission." That actually sounds like a much better movie.


7 laughs

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Nick - over 3 years ago

Daniel Bernhardt had about five minutes of mainstream success as one of the three agents Neo fights with at the beginning of The Matrix Reloaded.


8 laughs

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Stephen - almost 4 years ago

In terms of riffing the credits, this is probably their best effort.


12 laughs

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NS - almost 4 years ago

This is bad. Very, very bad. Most bad movies have some redeeming quality lurking among all the bad-- a good actor slumming it, a supporting character who steals the show, an amusing one-liner, an audaciously unusual monster. Not this movie. It is uniformly bad. It is a homogenous mixture of badness, cardboard, and plaid. Even that guy from Soultaker-- the one with the face-- can't save it. Bad, bad, bad.

And yet, somehow, the crew manages to make a good episode out of it. Go fig.