1005 - Blood Waters of Dr. Z
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Why am I suddenly hungry for a turtle?
Ah yes: the good old days before sewage treament
He's just doing this to avoid getting a fishing license
I look a little like Jenna Elfman
Yeah, well, you're kinda blowin' my cover
Glaucoma and you...
Nothing down here except girly mags and empty beer bottles. Oh, wait, this is my basement.
They filmed this with a disposable camera.
Swamp is filled with cornflakes!
Okay, so he's a dumpy seahorse.
Ah, thank you, that was brilliant.
Well, I can tell by this pile of cocaine that Lawrence Taylor was here.
Huh, he's the Dana Plato of catfishes.
I'm just gonna watch TV and eat some chum.
Well, if you're gonna live in a basement, you might as well have all the bells and whistles.
This guy peaked in the womb.
Sorry about the noise. I use wax paper for underpants.
I like this film *now*
Oh boy, here comes a big tree, they could just scrape him off!
A poor catfish blames his tools!
This is obviously Switzerland.
I GOTTA GET BACK TO CAMP SNOOPY AND CONNECT THIS
Suddenly in Sepiatone-Ville...
I can't believe he's gonna DUMP her!
Dr. Walter PointySideburns!
"In your language--" Honkian.
He's going to tattoo a fish!
Wow, the darts for that thing must be huge!
Stop or I'll stagger!
Now there's a scorpion in my boot.
You know, she shouldn't go with that weird doctor. There are lots of fish in the sea.
I was busy on the running board!
The bait is irresistible. The fish are coming right into the house.
Frankly, I think the world can handle THIS invasion.
I should rotate my bodies, I guess.
Uh, theme music? Anything you want to throw in at this point?
i never get a gift basket like this
"Jack Ruby at home."
This movie was the winner of the Cannes Palme d'huh? award.
He's like the Gerald Ford of monsters.
OK, I'll give this so-called "Heterosexuality" one more try...
- I'm busy...
- I have a headache...
- Get bent!
Um - where are we going?!
Look, I'm sorry I let one, can I please ride in the truck, now!
This is most people's idea of going to the dentist.
Great - I have no thumbs. NOW, what do I do?!
Gotta finish this up, then I gotta go kill Farley Granger's wife...
Once I get her out of the way, she'll be mine...
He's polishing the sea...
Aw, I just realized, I have to swim to the bottom and suck mud...
NOW, performing high above the bathtub...!
So all roads lead to Wally Cox...
When this chick faints, she doesn't fool around.
And she's in the end zone! It's been a great fourth quarter turnaround for this woman!
That was a slip! I slipped!
Dear Joseph, How's Argentina? Things are fine here. Look out for Hess, he has a screw loose.
I'm not speaking to you.
On the plus side, shower caps ARE on sale.
Can I ask a follow-up?
Tom Servo - 26:00 - Hey! Don't just leave your crackers on the beach!!!
Hay, lay off the heavy music, I'm just making a grocery list!
Maybe I can conquer the world through real estate instead.
I'm a failure as a fish. I'm gonna try being a fungus!
He's been sculpted out of belly skin.
Open up. It's the fish police!
"My walk in toilet is working out well."
You know who they need to catch him? CATFISH HUNTER!
Just like Bela Lugosi, he's trying to create a new rice of pipple.
"FISH BITES, Mother."
I NEVER get a gift basket like this
Typical male, sittin' in his chair playing with his rod
Fashions by Grinch of Whoville
Figures they'd have a white trash can...
"I'm pretty sure the world can handle this invasion."
"It's always really weird when the monster has to use a hand rail."
"He's striking the Lovesexy album cover pose."
"Lambada: The Forbidden... Fish."
"He trusted his Mitchum™ too much. It skipped a year."
"Look, I'm sorry I let one. Could I please ride in the truck now?"
"Oh, all they got is Clamato™, brown mustard, and martini olives!"
[Groucho]"Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you I love you!"[/Groucho]
"She is gonna' get fan mail from some flounder!"
"This would be a good place for a standoff with the FBI."
"Must be where they get the water for Dixie Beer."
"The largest Clarius, so far collected in Florida, is eighteen inches."
"All stuff not to say on your first date."
Mike - "I'll go pick up the other banana splits."
So I'm an amphibious warthog, that's pretty close!
[cut to an anaconda]
I don't want none unless it's got buns, hon.
and self-baptism sweeps the nation!
He's learned to modulate his flatulence
Please enjoy a fish anus
It's a kid with a Fisher-Price Bubble Mower.
The director who proves there's really no need to ever end a shot!
let's see what the captain crunch treasure map says
I gotta be honest, am I that much closer to ruling the universe?
now pull your pants up and get out of my office
there, I've conquered Florida, on to southern Illinois
it's kind of weird when your monster has to use a hand rail
I need another bowl of zoloft
Suddenly her Volkswagen crashes through the wall, her dog at the wheel.
Fleegle, Bingo, Drooper, and Snork. They're cops.
" I Need To Simplify My Masturbating Ritual !! !! !!"
"I Need Another Bowl Of Zoloft"
"It's His What Shirt Should I Wear Wheel"
" I'm Planning Revenge On My Friends"
"What do you make of that?" you could make human loaf!
This movie needs an entire new exhaust system
You really gotta wonder about nature sometimes. Do you guys even like nature?
I sense danger! I better undress!
♫I'm glad I'm not in dixie♫hooray♫hooray♫
and YOU, balding comb-over fish!
Ya remember? When you flushed me down the toilet? Remember that?!?
[What do you make of that?] Well, you can make 'human loaf'!
I think I have everything, oh wait, nipple clamps!
Mark McGuire BEFORE Creatine!
It's ending like an Italian neo-realist movie from the 60s.
And finally he gets eaten by a manatee.
Once I get Herbie out of the way, she'll be all mine.
Glub? Glub glub!?
Did I just hear a fish strangling a guy?
Hi, we're astronauts from a different film.
"Who?" No, 'Hello'.
Hmm. Should of tied something to the net I guess.
Just put him in the back of Mom's station-wagon.
And you balding comb-over fish...
"Rampart, Rampart!"...George, are you playing 'Emergency' in the bathroom again?!
Great right break on this pearl and me without my boogie board!
He's tuned in to the German explaining channel.
I can't shoot straight, my flair pants keep catching the wind!
The sure-footed mountain batchelor.
Oh please don't hit that, it's very delicate...Oh, let me tie her off, I'll come over there and help you, hold on...
There's that toenail sculpture he wrote about...
Youu know, he IS a strange guy but he writes BEAUTIFUL haikus.
Last time you said it looked like a butterball turkey, could you make up your mind?
Sure, you thought the clown car would save everything!
Let me unhook your leisure bra.
This scene lit by a glow-in-the-dark superball.
He's wearing a Betty Rubble skirt.
Soundtrack by the Alan Parsons Project...You know, I hear they lost their funding!
You know what he needs, Do you know? Catfish Hunter!!, ha ha ha!!
Yeah, but the guy changed his name to to 'Catfish Chapstick', so it doesn't work.
Are you gentlemen here to buy something?
Good thing my name is 'Edward Boy'.
Now pull your pants up and get out of my office!
You still in your jammies?
But what about my mod pantsuit?!
One little setback and he falls apart! I mean Mike, even you've had victims die prematurely but you never behaved petulantly!
Well this monkfish is off the roster, he won't be able to pitch for a month!
(sarcasm fish?) Ohhhh, I'm such a great fish!
Just tap some fish flakes in and leave!
Makem' stop, Rob! (reference from a classic 'Dick Van Dyke Show' episode).
It's pretty bad when your monster has to use a handrail.
Where's Ron the regular bus driver?
That was locked, but he now has the powerful forearms of a catfish!
Fish guy has great weed!
Sorry about the noise, I used wax paper for underpants.
Oh the tension... on his reel seems a little high.
Well, thanks for the nooner!
I think he's finally washing his shorts.
"I love you." And I love you, but not in that way.
"Sargasm - the weed of deceit" that's what I smoke!
Tonight on Invisible Cracker Mom...
I need another bowl of Zoloft.
I think I'll head over to Party Beach and see how the Horror is doing.
I sense danger, I better undress.
But first, a folk song by Phil Ochs.
Ya know it's hard to keep my chunky torso balanced on my chicken legs.
Is that his hair or dog ears?
Damn I'm hooked on my own sock.
Oh man he should go to an underwear fitting clinic.
Should I perform horrible experiments or count my used tissues?
It's from the Sid Vicious signature series of needles.
Iggy Pop's brother Steve Pop.
No matter how much the movie insists that there's tension, I must respectfully disagree with it.
Am I missing something? Is there fur on a catfish?
Oh, typical male, sitting in his chair playing with his rod...
I guess I could be stupider but it be hard
Yeah sure, blame it on the pinball machine
How do I turn off that damn bell!?
Ah rats, I wanted to be a princess
His hydraulics are stuck.
Now to get a bottle of Bordeaux and seduce a mollusk.
I had such a pretty miiind.
Oh, this is where he's sashaying to the sarcasm.
No! I'd rather see Samo Hung wearing a speedo!
"Forward progress is made with a snakelike slither, and a vigorous thrashing of the tail" - Like Courtney Love.
Joe Don Baker and Basquiat just hangin' out together...
Hey! Don't just leave your crackers on the beach!!
The B.O. Suite for Bassoon.
Let's see what's on the Sci-Fi channel tonight!
Sounds like the Indigo Boys.
Please enjoy a fish anus.
Blood Waters, huh? I guess Dr. Z's got a kidney problem!
Follow my whiteness!!!
There's something horribly wrong here: She's not in her underwear!
Listen to that. This movie needs a whole new exhaust system.
I gotta be honest: Am I *that* much closer to ruling the universe?
Anyway, that big challenge... Uh... we'll be getting to that.
Underwater photography by Zapruder!
Not much to adjust... But still, it needs to be adjusted.
Yes, world domination, I got a little distracted there.
AHH, MY FREIND THE SQUEEGEE. I LOVE YOU.
I need to simplify my masturbation ritual
It's got playful teen beach movie font.