1006 - Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
I wouldn't drown. The rheumatism's acting up!
Eight wheels. So it's come to this.
"You ain't with the revenue boys, are you son?"
Uh, no but I was a Beastie Boy...
This is great! I'm polluting the water AND making noise!
Now this is the boat they should have taken over that mountain in Fitzcarraldo.
"He simply reached and pulled it out..."
It was a lewd gesture now that I think of it.
Dr. Batch... This fall.
You need to work on your camel-toe, son.
AAAAhhh..! Mike! His batch! It's... aaaargh!
Wait, we've got the firearms, but we don't have any liquor...!
I'm gonna look at Oui for a while...
"Raccoons, foxes, and dears make up most of our ecosystem," mostly it's worms and chiggers.
Tim, stop screamin'.
You need to work on your camel toe, son.
Good night, Tim...wherever you are.
And so the completely pointless stretch of movie whimpers out like a small dying rat.
They're not shooting day for night here. It's more like 4:30 for 5 o'clock.
"You talked to Old Man Crenshaw?"
I told you never to bring him up.
Thank goodness for the Jeep's braking distance of 500 yards.
We have "E" gallons.
"We're going camping. and your going to watch."
Aw, you dressed him in little one strap overalls.
Well, the little one ended up with my features...
Later that dull story...
Hey, look at that! A whole beach full of research assistants!
Thank you, Tanya. Our adventure started in base camp. The rummy Punjabs were all around us.
Apparently Candie's made a hiking boot.
Look at that make-up. It looks like she's looking out of a charred log.
The target website is boring.
Pierced Chuck, at $1.49 a pound.
"Otis Tucker never regained consciousness."
He was dead so it makes sense.
He needs a bra. Look at that!
So these three are all majoring in Boggy Creek studies?
"She said we're going down looking for some kind of wild man. Why?"
I am that wild man.
Now that's a half-hearted attempt at a porn name.
Already there is too much piercing in this movie.
And so the once-great Monster Studies department went under. Tanya and Leslie brought me up on charges, of course. Tim just wandered off one day and we haven't seen him in years.
Tim found a hollow spot in a tree and slept there.
His name is 'tributary'?
I don't want you 'round here.
They've synchronized, so they're both crabby
"If they're not acting natural, I'll have to kill 'em."
"Is this the one they call 'Tim'?"
Here comes "Greater Than Dot."
"I don't believe any car or truck ran over this deer."
"I still don't believe any car or truck hit this deer."
Jeez --- do a push-up, kid.
"Late in the afternoon, Slocum came from that field, driving his cows. . ."
"One of 'em blew a tire."
His name is "Tributary"?
"Why does my head hurt?"
Oh dear. I'm immodest. Thee hee.
And so, the useless stretch of movie whimpers out of exsistense, like a small, dying, rat.
And I will *not* call again.
Just think of the raccoons that have died at this guys hands
Well, we were with the Vanderburgs and Charles and Pat and I decided to make the Legend of Boggy Creek II.
Checking on the land they bought from the Clintons!
Uh oh.. Pl... please, please don't be splayed! Dih, myuuuuh!
Would you get rid of Missile Command?
Just think of the raccoons that have died at this guys hands!
You need to work on your camel-toe, son.
Aha! I'm insufferable!
Boy, Tim's a real strong blip on my gay-dar.
Oh no. The thing we're looking for is coming. Oh no.
"Bryant, whats that?" Well thats the computer I was just telling you about.
Do you sell turquoise plastic pith helmets?
This the story of fried pork rhines
And I kept a-walking like that for quite a while.
Turn off the lights and let me project my thoughts.
Goodnight Tim, wherever you are.
Where is the Law-Giver?
When you major in Boggy Creek Studies, you can write your own ticket on Wall Street.
A bearded egg in a tie.
His class must be fun!
"He's at the stadium with 75,000 insane Hog callers!" - They're calling insane hogs?
Um, eh I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention ... what?
Suddenly, I was attacked by a Muppet.
Uh Frank, where's the music?
There's a zipper on its neck! (-Crow about a deer with what does look like a zipper on its neck!)
"...but it (the swamp) is ever alive, alert..." and it's got a gun, so don't try anything.
"U're in so much trouble! Jumpin' over the Moon" -Farmer 2 a Cow
"Hey! They're using their Jeep™ to do things! I thought you only drive those things to Starbucks™."
"It's the Arkansas remake of Wages of Fear."
"I'm gonna' download Pong. It should only take about seven hours."
"Ken Burns' Six-Part Series: Tire Changing."
"Well, no more corn likker on mah' Total™ fer' breakfast!"
"Wanna' contribute to our Fund For The War Against Northern Aggression?... So that's money! Usually we get paid in possum hides!"
"Y'know, a Razorback hat lacks the quiet dignity of a Cheese Wedge."
"The stadium is built next to a giant Braun™ coffee grinder."
"Typical deer hunter."
"Yeah, and meanwhile his wife is off watchin' the Chippendales with her girlfriends."
"Boy, I'm not continuing like I used to when I was a kid, lemme' tell ya'..."
"Suddenly, flying low under the radar, two armed egrets!"
"Yes Sir" I'm ready for some football
This is the story of fried porkrines
"She's my prized student." - Prized student in that she gets C's, but she's really cute.
We only assumed he'd torn off though. It's possible he beat cheeks or busted a hump.
Hey ! The Tomb of the Unknown Cracker !
Just resuscitate the patient and I'll be there at the half !
"Can I help you?"
"Yes, do you sell turquoise plastic pith helmets?"
Your halftime show! Yo-Yo Ma and the entire Bach Cello Suite!
He said nothing of your marvelous breasts
Where's the money, you son of a bitch?
Play in the sand and shut up.
Hope the radar doesn't detect that I'm not wearing a bra.
"Hey, Tanya do you read?"
Guess it fell out of the monster's pocket.
..and its got a gun so dont try anything.
Get naked and WRESTLE!!
"Get a broccoli rubberband fer yer head."
Once I get free of this tree, I'm gonna be SO over there!
Every movie from the south is gonna thank a trailer service at some point.
No woman should have to see the little creature.
I was right tired from swinging a nightstick at the skulls of suspected marijuana users all night.
[woman screams offscreen] Tim, stop screaming.
Aaand the last stretch of movie whimpers out like a small, dying rat.
Hey, there's a POV monster headed right for them!
Every night we had to tie Tim in the trees to keep him safe from the creature.
Playing it out...It sure is playing out, huh?...We're playing it out! Stay on the bed!...It's almost too painful, this playing it out.
Hang on I'm going to belch the alphabet here.
I put Tim in front to absorb the first hail of bullets.
Hey a flu shot... thanks!
Grab yourself a broccoli rubber-band for your head...
"Dr. Batch, this fall."
Yes, these river bottoms...
Okay, legs bent, butt protruded, stomach pooched out, good.
Hey everybody! I managed to cram my ass into these shorts!
Jeez, do a pushup kid.
He's riding a moose and he has a weapon!
Aaannd he falls in and gets eaten by a pig.
"You know something...I believe there's a creature right here."
There it is!
Ok, people without shirts please put them on; and people with shirts please take them off.
It's fun that there are men.
A stray boat had followed me home.
Hey, Mark Knopfler is hot!
Otis didn't believe in flashlight batteries.
Suddenly the Kraken appeared, casting asunder the two demigods! And then engaging them in a Socratic symposium regarding the verisimilitude of memory.
Well,no sense closing the barn door after... Hey, I just invented an aphorism!
Er, Mike's right here!
It was the third of September...
The sun has a hard time getting up when we switch to daylight savings time.
It could be Bernie Taupin, it could be a pilates machine ... anything!
OK dad ... um, I mean professor, who is in no way my dad giving me a role in this movie.
It's just Ron Pearlman.
My wonderful discovery, Lets kill it!
You need to work on your camel toe, son.
Ted Nugent? Slash? Rob Zombie? ...Cher?
Ironically that was Bambi's stepmother.
Charles B. 'in over his head' Pierce
God bless you, half man-half pig.
Mike, you're huge and pink-- you must have potatoes around there.
I'm plannin an abduction!!
2 butch looking women not in a Suburu.... somethings wrong here
Want this on your Klan account ?
We've attached our egos' to you
Man, those bushes are right on my bumper!
There's a legend of a beer in these swamps.
Aiiieeee!!! There's a skid mark on the ceiling!!
For a transcript of the poop scene, send $2.99 to Journal Graphics.
"Why is she whittling a tennis ball?" -Tom Servo
"Huh, he suddenly became a senior citizen" -Crow T. Robot
Well we're drivin' down the road
Lookin' for a waffle house
Drinkin' lotsa Wild Turkey
Hey legend! How's the continuing going?
Pfft! I am so much better than this barn.
THEY'RE PUNTING THE DEER'S HEAD!!!
It was a lewd gesture, now that I think of it
"And another thing about being a deer- why do we have to cross at the deer-crossing signs?"
We're going camping and you're gonna watch
Now that they're in the mud, I'm actually feeling kind of ashamed of myself. Is this really what I wanted?
Man, Thor has really hit the skids.
We have attatched our egos to you.
The cheerleaders suggest that we go. The cheerleaders plan is working.
...and the legend continues... to be not heard about by anyone.
I think he's getting the creature mixed up with the Allman Brothers.
Can I borrow a cup of shirt?
Snap into a slimjim!
I'm an expert in undiscovered monkeys.