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1007 - Track of the Moon Beast
Comments (32) Best Riffs (122)
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He sure gave that lizard a lot of headroom.
Maybe he has a trampoline in there.
"It's his Indian name...It translates: warrior's bow that reaches long to its mark." Oh, is he seeing anyone?
"I'd like you to meet a friend of mine."
Um, could you at least kiss me first?
"...depending on where you are, and your point of view."
Oh, I've never had one of those!
"If I'm gonna die, I wanna die looking like a man." In my feety pajamas.
"The demon in the tribal painting... self consumed." That's a soccer team for ya.
"I know a few great spots, but they're pretty far away." So we'd have to go there naked.
"Please put your dick ash out in the ash tray" ... fuckin' hilarious!!
♪♫ California Laaaadyyy won't you bring your love to meeee ♪♫ Get it yourself.
"Hmm... what haven't we seen in this movie yet? Oh, right! A scrawny, drunken bowler's ass cheeks! Thank you!"
"Y'know, her outfit started out as a baby blanket, then she just added a bra to it."
By the way, my car runs on green pepper... corn... chicken... onions...
"We'll go the exhibit, then we'll have some supper..." - Then, a DAB of sex...
"I guess I blacked out." Uh, excuse me. You African American-ed out.
"Oh, no. You're not talking me out of it this time. I'm staying." Oh great ... er, I mean, Oh ! Great !
That's just a picture of the moon! Yeah, the moon backed out of the movie at the last minute.
"Hey, Cathy, look at that!" "It's that tissue I just threw! Hey, tissue!"
"Don't touch that. Let me look at it." "Words every guy wants to hear."
I'm glad to see that Brian Hamill is Still Photographer. I thought he got laid off!
♪♫ I forced my skull right through my face and refused to wash my stringy hair. ♪♫
"What was that?" "I don't really know..." Let me make up a quick legend.
"Harris was killed by some kind of thing that..." That... Killed him.
"I know what you're thinking." That I'm boring and my slideshow eats.
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"Remember what the door mouse said, Feed Servo's Head..... With a zesty ranch dipping sauce when guests come over.
I feel the title is a heroin addict's drug addled brain making excuses for the marks on his arms, and his peyote tripping friend goes " that would make a great movie"
I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT SERVOS HEAD!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!
Just watched Mesa of Lost Women with RiffTrax commentary, and Bill Corbett makes a "chicken...corn...green peppers, chili.....(sigh) onions..." reference in it!
After having watched this one a dozen or so times, I think it might just have to be the next one I show my family. The host segments are all pretty stellar and the riffs are perfect.
The drawings in the slideshow are hilarious. As are the hospital jammies.
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I really don't understand how a director can make a movie like this and not see that it's terrible. I mean seriously. The "performance" of the woman playing the wife is nothing but comical. Any sentient being should recognize that.
You know a movie has bad dialog when the guys are able to use it almost verbatim in a sketch.
This episode is so underrated!!!
Pathetically, when Paul’s mother returns home from Europe later that summer she does not notice he is no longer living there until the next spring when Ty shows up to get all his stuff from his old cage...later she hooks up with that bearded Dr. Lawrence guy at a local bar, he moves in, and they turn Paul’s room into a Fifty Shades Playroom. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!
Because of this movie I can never say the word "onions" without sighing first. Nor can I read a list without thinking "sigh...onions." Thank you Johnny Longbone for making us laugh about stew, again.
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A random guy with a bad haircut gains animal-themed superpowers and becomes suicidal. His competent Native friend (who somehow has an even worse haircut) knows what's happening and tries to help him. His blond girlfriend, portrayed by a non-actress, mostly just gets in the way. The villain of the piece is a big shiny head. Conclusion: this movie is what happens if you put Pumaman in a blender with a large bucket of sand.
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I think they based this movie off an episode of Star Trek with a glen or Glenda spin. Everyone wears tight loud clothes, the main actor takes his shirt off constantly and is always oiled, he has an exotic scholarly friend, he has to deal with a giant lizard monster in tons of desert settings.... And the twist is he IS the lizard monster.
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The couple in the movie have the same Chemistry as I did with first girl I kissed.... We recently reconnected she is now a man
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"Mike, Crow, Snack..." LOVE Pearl
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Crappy moon-monster movie OH WOW!!! lol . I remember watching this movie back in the 80's un-mistied and it sucked back then too. Still can't understand why a hippy folk song band sung "California Lady" about a dum tight outfitted blond from N.Y. and there in New Mexico lol!!!! I hear the fishy lip guy still lives there in N.M. and is a used car salesman now. He's a lil' pissed at MST3K for dissin' him in the movie too! Voice is still froggy too lol.
00:48:00 - I'm with the Moon Beast here. Televised poker is dull enough to induce a murderous rampage in anyone.
00:17:17 - Crow invokes those stupid Nineties "A Diamond Is Forever" ads. :D
A Crappy Fake Moonrock Is Forever...
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Okay for a b grade horror film with a vaguely moon alien Native American monster motif I found the whole then at least not insulting like so many movies have been. Don't look it but strong Native American background on my fathers side. But the oversized tin or aluminum "ceremonial" mask did sort of blast my WTF button. No tribe ever would have that thing in any ceremony. Most tribes would not let their masks appear on film so some numb nut goes let's fake it for the weirdest joke ever. I'm not offended but it adds a whole other level of weird and artificialness to that scene fir me. And that thing is pretty freaking bizarre to begin with.
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>.< good GOD loud eating/slurping/burping noises drive me up the friggin WALL!
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Their parody of VH1's Behind the Music is freakin' awesome!
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At the concert, behind Paul: It's Lemmy from Motorhead!!!!!
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Somebody's got to say it: it strikes me as incredibly unlikely that "Johnny Longbow" is a native term for "Warrior's Bow which Reaches Long to its Mark".
"He was still alive when they found him..." - The 8 of diamonds?
*throws down card* - I fold...
That exchange killed me!
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I love how Mike laughs at Tom's joke at 1:03.
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I always crack up when the guys make eating noises! (0:11:08)
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Oh, sweet merciful Jesus, Tom's onion flower head almost killed me.
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Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Sorry for rushing the Halloween season, but it was just to good to resist. I came here to take some screenshots and when I saw you here, I couldn't resist playing a practical joke on you. I'm afraid I got a little more reaction than I bargained for. I won't use the screenshot, that's a promise! I'm really sorry!
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By my count, there are four MST3K movies that feature people named Paul turning into monsters.
"...Servo saw you here and explained to me that you were up here on the bridge eating peapods..." - cracks me up
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"It's an Eagles Concert, it's a Nightmare!" Man, can you change the station? I've had a rough day and I just hate the Eagles!
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I suddenly crave an onion blossom...