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1011 - Horrors of Spider Island



Viewers_big 3 people watching this episode right now.
162 laughs

Comments (63) Best Riffs (218)

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Linnaeis "I AM the button" Blake - about 1 month ago

this movie has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer to the skull.


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Linnaeis "I AM the button" Blake - about 1 month ago

spider spider spider spider spider spider spider WHERE'S THE DAMN SPIDER!?!?


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Linnaeis "I AM the button" Blake - about 1 month ago

Servo's getting overwhelmed? Tom "Mango Juice" Servo?


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Linnaeis "I AM the button" Blake - about 1 month ago

i want to smack those girls upside the face with a large, smelly, dead, fish.


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Linnaeis "I AM the button" Blake - about 1 month ago

"There's no reason to fear the worst, all we know is the plane caught fire and we lost radio contact." (Mike chuckles)
Yea. that's a pretty good reason to fear the worst. The plane caught fire, over the friggin' Pacific Ocean. Where, exactly, are they going to perform an emergency landing? They're gonna go the way of Amelia Earheart and MH370.


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Snuffy Wuffykiss - 2 months ago

They are on a deserted island for 30 days with a months worth of food and they make NO attempt to survive at all. What was the plan for day 32? Lets all just lay down and die now. And what did they DO for a whole month?
Having spent a couple of years away from civilization, I can tell you that is a LOT of free time to do nothing with.


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Rod Sturdy - 3 months ago

I was for the spider .


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Matthew Boyle - 4 months ago

Who was the governor of minnesota in 1999? Crow makes a joke about him being a "huge, bald nazi". Pretty strong accusation. Although I'm wondering if maybe Crow is talking about the governor of Minnesota when this film was made.


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Matthew Boyle - 4 months ago

Is it just me or are the spiders not all that big for the webs they create? Although, come to think of it, I don't know the ratio of spider size to web size. After all, spider webs are always bigger than the actual spider who made them. Maybe crow can put "what is the ratio of spider size to web size" in his column just after "how much goose poop is in my yard".


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Brian Peter Vandenbroek - 5 months ago

Am I the only one confused by why the horror movie uses make-out music for its opening credits?


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 9 months ago

Does "Bob Boxbody" in the waiting room scene remind anyone else of Nick Offerman?


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At 0:47:28, I would of suggested some joke about Roy Batty from Blade Runner.


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Dood - about 1 year ago

At 29:31, Georgia says that when the professor wrote his last diary entry, he had no idea how horribly he would die. Except, of course, for the very last thing he wrote in that entry, where he says something terrible will happen to him. Which Georgia herself brings up. In her very next line.


4 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - about 1 year ago

This movie seems surprisingly pleased with itself for coming up with Gary's leg-based code system, but it never really justifies the need for it. Was Gary just super shy or something?


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Jane Sproul - about 1 year ago

Horrors of Spider Island 1-100 are all variations of Gary's shirtlessness and/or personality.


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Jerome Butch Neal Sr. - about 1 year ago

"28 long days and nights" - That's how late my videos are


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Jerome Butch Neal Sr. - about 1 year ago

Try crossing your legs NOW, Pal!


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James GreyWolf - over 1 year ago

The Woody Allen-esque ending that they so rudely interrupted was going so well...


4 laughs

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James GreyWolf - over 1 year ago

Wow... just hit me.... this is the season of the were(fill in the blank). Werewolf, werelizard, werebat, and now a werespider. Kinda pushin' it, doncha think?


Benny Hill Where Are You?
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Rosebud - over 1 year ago

That last chase scene totally needs to be put to the Yakkity Sax soundtrack. Has anyone done that yet?

...shrimp based religion...


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Rosebud - over 1 year ago

I kept restarting the streams, switched from #1 to #2, opened in youtube, because the sound wasn't in sync with the lips. I don't know how long it took me to realize the movie was dubbed! ha. I guess the riff about foreign woman was the clue.


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Robert Brown - over 1 year ago

Probably, there's a master-key line in every experiment. Now that I have developed this theory I will determine whether it is true. In the menatime, I offer the master-key to this...thing.

Tom: "Another character flees the film."

Why am I still watching this? Gyar.


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Robert Brown - over 1 year ago

Okay, so I'm fifteen minutes from the end, and I feel like I've been watching this interminable trashcan of a flick for six days already. Does it, in fact, end?

Tom has always amused me with his exhortations of a movie to "end!" but this is one time I find myself screaming at the movie. Holy Criminy, just cussing end already! (I suppose I could stop watching...naaah!)


2 laughs

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Robert Brown - over 1 year ago

So this movie amply demonstrates that as long as there have been movies, there has been soft core porn. The question I have is this: are soft core porn movies so insufferably stupid because the only people willing to make them lack ept, or because the insufferable stupidity is part of the appeal of soft core porn?

Also, was this movie titillating even in 1950 (or whenever it was made)? Maybe when the prints were fresh and vivid?

Did I mention that I think this movie is insufferably stupid? I kind of lost my train of thought. I think maybe this movie is draining...what was I...huhuhuh boobies! Huhhuh.


1 laugh

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Is it just me or is the host segments backwards the first one was mike in the web and the second was mike judging pearl, brain guy, and bobo. It seems to make more sense flipped


2 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - over 1 year ago

Crow says MRYXL!!


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Brian Kijowski - over 1 year ago

"I'd pay eleven thousand dollars to be there right now." LOL


The movie star~
2 laughs

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Mike Carmona - over 1 year ago

Wife just caught ear of "A whole island full of Gingers," and was surprised to think Tom was a racist. You know you're getting old when you have to explain to someone 6 years younger than you that the comment was made with the noblest intentions.


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Forrest Baker Pusey - over 1 year ago

Yes, Crow. After ten years you have indeed earned one ten-second break.


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Kenshin Chan - over 1 year ago

Mike makes a very pretty languid, helpless and sex-starved lady!


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Phil Carstens - almost 2 years ago

You know, with the way this movie hates women, it's an hour and a half of me rubbing my forehead thinking "Really?"


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James Laramie III - almost 2 years ago

For a good time call Mike Nelson


3 laughs

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My memories are a little vague, but I believe that this was the very first episode I ever watched, which is a little funny because it's one of the last ones they ever made. But as a result, I have a deep fondness for this episode. My family and I mention "Shrimp personal watercraft, shrimp-based religion" on a regular basis.


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Patrick Swayze Christmas - about 2 years ago

Mike as Gary....hahahahaha...poor Bobo...


Just had to try it.
4 laughs

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Stereo Catz - about 2 years ago

8 laughs

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Stereo Catz - about 2 years ago

I mean what other purpose could a hammer with a long handle have besides excavating uranium? It's obvious isn't it?


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John Carnahan - about 2 years ago

Ah the fifties.


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Aaron Kuehmichel - over 2 years ago

Hey, my home town is name-checked in this one! At the 15:00 mark Mike complains about only flying with 'seed salesmen from La Crosse.' XD


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Mike Carmona - over 2 years ago

"Mr. Beardsley -- I mean, Gary!"


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Matthew McMillan - over 2 years ago

One of my top ten episodes. Never gets tiresome. "The HORRORS of spider island!"


2 laughs

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Joseph Ewing - over 2 years ago

I can't believe this movie was not considered pornographic back then. Bettie Page was this graphic.


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Joseph Ewing - over 2 years ago

0:10:29 What the hell is that look supposed to mean?


7 laughs

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Punch Rockgroin - over 2 years ago

I can't believe this movie doesn't have more laughs! This was always one of my favorites.


1 laugh

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Vince Giangiacomo - over 2 years ago

Harald Maresch who played Joe, his claim to fame was getting Lupe Velez pregnant and causing her suicide.


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Scott A. Taylor - almost 3 years ago

Strangled by a spider! .. Gee how totally horrific and scary and stuff! Completely uncomparable to being eaten by a shark, or being turned inside out by the Thing!.


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Scott A. Taylor - almost 3 years ago

Oh god I want them all to die within the first 5 minutes of the film .. but dammit they persist. My vision of hell .. trapped on a raft with whimpering, nail varnish obsessed harpies ... eugh!


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Mr.Jensen - almost 3 years ago

The movie falls off the rails 3/4 through, but otherwise provides excellent fodder for the boys. An underated episode I highly recommend.


2 laughs

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@9:50 They're going to be dancing in Singapore.


8 laughs

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Kimono Dragon - almost 3 years ago

In the opening scene he pulls the cigarette from the girls mouth, because there is NO SMOKING allowed. He then puts it out... IN AN ASHTRAY!


6 laughs

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Mitchell - about 3 years ago

Should have been "The Whores Of Spider Island". Guess they had to do something to the only man to keep the film from devolving into a nonstop bonkfest.


6 laughs

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Wade Ebel - about 3 years ago

"This is called, 'You'll never have sex with me'"

Oh god xd


4 laughs

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David - about 3 years ago

Did anyone else notice that three or four times they make a point of mentioning the professor's revolver, but the prop gun is an automatic?


10 laughs

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Alex Stefanic - about 3 years ago

It's like they made a porno but forgot the sex.


3 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

I find it interesting that they should know the name of the guy from "Blue Lagoon".


5 laughs

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Scooter Atreides - over 3 years ago

So with the death of the stripper at the cabin while the other women were out looking for Gary, was the horror movie trope that says the sluttiest character is ALWAYS doomed born?


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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

I love how the man-spider loses ground on the vertical climb.


3 laughs

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Robert Ferguson - over 3 years ago

10:30..... the look on that secretary's face, put her in a patent leather suit, give her a whip, in some dingy basement, what have ya got ? Babs is in some DEEP Kim-chi, that's what !


6 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

I want to feel clean again.


9 laughs

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Andrew Jones - over 3 years ago

Every time I find myself being titillated by the languid sexploitation I try to remind myself that these ladies, if they are alive, are probably hooked up to ventilators in a nursing home right now.


20 laughs

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Austin Strong - over 3 years ago

You know, Crow's article in the lifestyle section is essentially twitter.


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Phil Carstens - over 3 years ago

Huh. I just watched Kitten With a Whip before this, so this is the second time tonight I've seen Mike in drag.


9 laughs

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Anne Fleming - over 3 years ago

Could there be more goose poop in my yard?


13 laughs

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Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 3 years ago

Brain Guy doing that scene from Flashdance with the bucket of water that comes down... So classic.