103 - The Mad Monster
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
That's Tom Waits' mom
So what, you made a big, dumb guy
What do you think of our little film so far?
Meanwhile back at Mesa Verde... .
He's the one out of five doctors who didn't choose Bayer!
He's very protective of his recipe for sun tea.
Even our name says Merry Christmas.
"Maybe we can dodge around those rocks and lose them."
Maybe you could use the gun. You know the big one that blows up things. Like moon cars, perhaps?
It's filled with evil Michelin men!
Let's see, I stand in this corner, little tweak of the nipples, and... I'm outta here!
"What's the matter? Drunk?"
They're all in shock. They've never been in such a bad film.
I'd better cut back on those Shirley Temples.
Finally I get my harmonica back.
"I'll be in my trailer... and NO brown M & M's this time!"
"Whatsa matter-- drunk?" No, scientist.
I'll take a Shirley Temple to go, please.
... but his mouth is cleaner than yours or mine.
Those fins really keep it stable.
Dad's doing research for Art Linkletter!
Hey, here's that dog eatin' peanut butter, again...
It was the way he was treated in Doonesbury that got him really mad...
He should have served drinks... canapes... those little sandwiches with the crusts cut off... nut cups...
Guns by Vidal Sassoon!
These are the extras...they'll probably get killed!
That tie's loud enough to wake up anyone.
How much more of this film is there?
You can tell right now that they're burning the main set. It should be just a few more minutes, Crow.
Now, if he's a werewolf, is he going to want to stick his head out the window?
Any self-respecting werewolf would.
Oh, great. Now, she's locked out.
we brought some nitrous oxide, didn't we?
Yes theres a small tank of it.
Why did we bring that anyway?
You could stand Pedro's overalls in a corner.
It's a bow-wow pow-wow.
I forgot my teddy bear!
He’s like a big, dumb Andy Griffith isn’t he? … Well a big Andy Griffith.
Pedro, did you fetch the paper this morning?
My God, he’s turned him into Abe Lincoln!
And they take an hour to load.
This was no boating accident! This was a shark!
Oh, well now they can only seat 7.
Hey, he looks okay...or as okay as he ever will.
Gardening always takes a back seat to science...always.
"Nice caboose on that girl. What am I saying?! That's my daughter! I am mad."
"He's wondering what you'd look like on Rye."
"Jim never drinks coffee at home."
"I'm prescribing a weed-eater and some turf builder, Pedro. Oh, and a lawnmower. Take this to a hardware store."
"Pedro, gimme' a hand. My thumbs are caught in my vest."
"You know, I never understand these Far Side comics. There's a caveman and a bear, and a..."
"Why does he have to kill them to prove his point? Can't he just show them a pie chart or something?"
"Hey, don't slam the bookcase on the way out, Pal."
A cure for baldness at last!
...That's it! The gauntlet's been thrown! Nobody drinks from my gal!
Hey, it's Bill Bixby as Lou Ferigno!!!
Mad Monster Meltdown
It's a bow wow pow wow!
He's hurt. "Better move his spine allot."
You’re very well equipped. "Thank you, I didn't think you could tell through the trousers."
Is this Of Mice and Men or Flowers for Algernon?
I didn't know they had plywood on the moon.
Someone's going to snag their jammies on something sharp, I can tell.
Oh great, hit him in the face and hurt your hand.
That's gotta be hard on the arches --- I don't care where you're from.
"Excuse me, miss, I notice you - Oh, excuse me, Mr. Coffee."
"I'm in love and you're drinking from her!"
If she starts tap-dancing, you guys, I'm going to lose it, I swear.
Now he's his own best friend.
"What did you find out about the ray guns?" Ron and Nancy?
Give him the Hershey's - head kiss of death!
That constant-heat ray sounds a lot like a Chevy horn.
Give him a headbutt! He's only wearing spandex on his head!
"There are institutions for madmen." Like the Pentagon.
"Nipple tweak aaand-- I'm off."
"What's he gonna' do, anyway? Take out their fillings and serve them really cold drinks?"
I shoulda had a V-8
So this is what it's like to be inside the stomach of someone drinking a malt.
men who are governed by one collective thought, the animal of skill without regard to personal safety...Republicans?!
"Mingling the blood of man and beast is downright sacrilege!" - Tell that to the NFL.
Earth chair! Earth chair!
"What good can come from tampering with the normal laws of nature?" Joel: "Teflon?" Tom: "Microwave milkshakes?" Crow: "Room air fresheners!"
I never saw anything so terrible in all my life! "You mean the first part of the movie?"
And an army of people behind him... with pooper scoopers.
How come they got Groucho Marx moustaches on their helmets?
Dale van Sickel never made a bad film.
It's Pumpkinboy again!
Hair design by Shemp Howard.
Come and listen to a story 'bout a man named Jed
A poor mountaineer, barely kept his family fed
Then one day he was shootin' at some food
-And up from the swamp came a big ugly dude
Wolf Man that is, sharp teeth, long face
Well the next thing ya know old Jed's really scared
The kinfolk said, 'Jed, get away from there!'
Said, 'My cabin is the place ya outta be'
So he loaded up his drawers and he told his family.
Whistler's Mother is stoned.
That felt good. Now I'm gonna go turn my daughter into a woodchuck.
Looks like Popeye got the operation he always wanted.