113 - The Black Scorpion
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Wow! It's a car!
All right you're baked, c'mon.
It's filled with blue screen action and jerky monster movement, but, at least there's no recognizable talent in it. Well, enjoy.
"I don't want just two days, either."
I want FIVE days! Five nights! Double occupancy! Airfare included!
Get me! I'm stingin' peasants!
Could you scream a little slower? I can't understand you!
So that salsa is really REALLY hot, then.
Until next time, Mr Skin-On Wiener!
Now, if you look out of the left side of the train, you'll see the right side of the train...
What, are ya on Dr Seuss time, all of a sudden?
I know Gary's around here, someplace...
You know this would make an excellent miniture golf coarse....
Uhhh! I think we're gonna' need a lot bigger boat...Boys'!
Hey! There's a small man in the glove box...help me find his torso!
I'm not a big enough Crevice!
'I'm a stowaway!' "No! your a volunteer..kid!"
Ok, who has the orange ball?
That's gonna' cost him a stroke!
They're playing the Volcano Hole, next is the Windmill and that's really tough!
Yeah! That's what Shane said!
You work on your Diction!
Hey! Can I call you Gary?
Have you tried reasoning with them?
Mash 4077...Best care anywhere!
Don't shoot the boy, shoot the monster!
Shouldn't we unhook the boat first?!?
Delicious Guy on a Stick!
The line's been bugged!
ahh...you got a little uhhh....
Once you've tasted Lineman you'll never go back!
Works every time!
Paul, if you die can I have your hat?
Boy am I hungry! Is that my stomach growling or yours?
By this time my lungs were aching for air!
That doesn't sound like a giant, mutated scorpion!
It's the Oaxaca step sequence!
The ancient squeaking scorpion!
Well, the milling festival is over. Ended in a weird steak fight. Found a baby though. Gave it to a priest. And that pretty much sums up where we are the in movie.
Oh, it's not that bad.
"You're very kind." No he's not. I'm kinder.
Hey, he was in our foursome last week; this is a tough hole.
That scorpion really wants to use that phone booth.
Take a shot for yourself little buddy.
Meanwhile on a pole somewhere...
Oh, this isn't good. Not at all. I mean, I've seen good before and it didn't look anything like this. Remember that bad thing we saw? Well, it looked like this. Remember? Yeah, definitely bad.
Tom, why did you break Gypsy?
Because she tried to consume me, Joel!
Thank you for ordering. Your total is 5.54. Please pull ahead to the second drive-thru window. Thank you.
Did you bring the kraut?... no, I left them in the Volvo.
Now go out there and get it.
I'll be Pavlov watch. ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Did you leave the water running?
And we have giant 40 foot pincers. No wait, that's the scorpions.
"That rattlesnake is the worst kind of them all." Let's blast it.
Bob look, baby tracks.
Guys get out of the way, that's why you're dying!
The pay is rotten, but the hours stink.
"We operate only with little hammers on rocks." ....so if you have kidney stones, we're the guys to call!
Don't run, just look unappetizing.
Can we use that mucus shot a few more times?*
There's a bug on your windshield.
and Jerry Mathers as the Beavero.
meanwhile, back at the dog....
No more beans and tortillas for this kid.
Mexico: 3, scorpion: nothing!
[Floretina show Dr. Ramos to the blue room] And then sponge-bathe our guests, won't you?
A fabulous arsenal is assembled: tanks, firepower, snow plows, Chevys.
Hey look, it's the Kahlua factory!
"Hey how'd he know his name was FELLA."
"I've got a WAX MUSEUM in MY EAR."
"I told him not to EAT THE WORM."
Joel: Hey, it's Dale Evans! And I thought she was stuffed. Crow: Only mounted.
"Now, while your scorpions are being cooked, you could, uh, mix up a nice salad that could be done when you're ready to serve."
"Wait a second! This isn't Paris. It's not '41. I'm not Lowell Thomas!"
"Oh, well, this isn't good. Not at all. I mean, I've seen good before and it didn't look anything like this."
"Becky? Injun Joe? Huck?"
♫ "...The ants go marching one by one/The human stopped to shoot a gun..." ♫
"Now this float is called 'Little Inchworm.'" It's made entirely out of white coral flowers and dried shellfish. It's a real piece of work. Kathie Lee?"
"Flint, Michigan. On a clear day you can see the GM plant on the outskirts of town. And look, there's Michael Moore."
"Sunday Sunday Sunday! We turn the floor of the Senora Dessert into a giant BLOOD PIT! It's Machine meets Arachnid in one-on-one action! Go-Go the Gorilla, and-- all-time powerful meister: BIG SCORP!"
"Roughly translated, he's saying, 'This would not have happened had we installed fiber optics.'"
"The Great Belasco: Juggler, Sword Swallower, and Pathologist Extraordinaire."
"You'll be surprised at the experiments that go on there."
"He's making a Taco Salad where you can actually eat the bowl!"
"Bob, if you die can I have your hat?"
The San Lorenzo Milling Around Festival!
Don't forget the Alamo! No, we can do better. Davy Crockett is a dork! No. Remember the-- oh, forget it.
"Don't get me wrong, I love this Mexico of yours." But I like mine better-- got a little plastic burro... it's neat!
These aren't actual footprints, this is feta cheese, but it smells like feet so that's as close as we could get.
I'm hungry for Mexican.
Ok, now get a shot of me with the bug.
And then tragedy struck - we ran out of stock footage.
Now these aren't actual footprints, this is feta cheese. But it smells like feet, and that's as close as we could get!
Hey, you see my haircut? Look, I got a haircut too! Look, haircut, haircut, haircut, haircut, haircut. We all got our haircut!
I was afraid of this... Scorpion hobos.
Fine time to go jousting.
It's udder chaos! Hahaha. Cow can I say that?
Vamenos la Scoobus!
The line's been bugged!
You are bold and assertive and you get along well with Libras.
"We tie you to a pole and spank you with reeds."
"Hey that would make a cool fort."
"I'll just move this High voltage power line with this piece of metal, just let me dip it in water first."
"Why does he need a pipe? Just breathe in some air?"
And then bring some Shine-ola, and we'll compare it with the last one I brought you.
Owie! Owie! Owie! Owie!
What's behind this tree? IT'S A DEAD COP! That's right Bob, it's a 1953 Senor Policia; Complete with .38 snub-nose revolver, dilated pupils and rigor mortis! You too will sleep soundly in your own Senor Policia! *From Spiegel Catalog, Chicago IL, 60609...
It says thou shall not ki. What do you make of that?
I guess we're not supposed to ki.
At least we know they're an advanced civilization. They got Vicks vapo rub.
I don't think your hat's quite dead yet.
Vhere ve could live, so zat ze animals could be bred und SLAUGHTERED...
Hey, I can see another movie through my binoculars!
Well, I used to be Mrs. Scott.
Now you're supposed to pick it up with your forearms and leave the monastery forever.
The milling festival ends in chaos. Two angry villagers slap each other senseless with large T-bone steaks.
I'll just move this high-voltage power line with this piece of metal. Just let me dip it in water first...
I got a wax museum in my ear.
"hes the Grandaddy of them all!" Wilford Brimely?
Your breath is like mummy meat.
The milling festival over, the residents were loaded onto trucks like so many cattle.
The milling festival lasted long into the night.