203 - Jungle Goddess
|Short - The Phantom Creeps part 1:|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
I think we just flew through a dissolve.
bad print, bad sound, bad for you. deal with it, joyless prole
--a few minutes more--
Wee menemee nemeneee!
Hey you've never seen that tree before, you want to kill it, Bob? Why don't we torch the whole continent, Bob, would you like that?
Had to get the hangin judge...
Man of Steel Huh! Phone this in to Perry White.
Enjoy the only exterior shot.
Then I'll go to Victoria's Secrets (tm).
"I figured on seeing Betty and the kids for Christmas." What about your wife?
"After considerable red tape..." I went on some bombing raids over central Europe.
♫ Drum beat ♫ And now, Ladies and Gentlemen, the Tropicana extends a warm Las Vegas welcome to Mr. Gene Krupa. -- Go Gene, go. --- G0 Gene, Go. ---- GO GENE, GO.
Bungle in the jungle
"You always say something like that just when I'm beginning to enjoy myself." Then I gotta wait a few minutes before I can leave.
"...so, mustering my courage..." I began kicking them repeatedly.
Now, tree, we've never met before, have we? Good.
World's Greatest Grandma
Did ancient astronauts land here billions of years ago?
No, no, no, no, no, no. Don't pass out on me now.
I'm sorry, he just can't help being creepy.
I can see the string.
Shut up, it just plays tapes.
Okay. You be the chauffeur and I'll be the contessa.
That's one native that won't be restless tonight.
Bela:Then we will go to meet the agents of the spy ring.
Joel:Aspiring to what?
"Should I get out the anatomically correct doll?"
We gotta stop giving our address out...
Don't step in the macoomba.
He's just my type, AB negative.
Hey, Bill, when you were a kid and you had pets, did you kill them?
Don't forget to limp.
Guano hit fan!
'It was hopeless to try and penetrate the jungle!' / "Hmmmm..."
'Well thank you, White Goddess!' / "Well thank you, White Racist!"
'Trust me! Obey my every command, no matter how strange it might seem!' / "OH WOW!!!"
Does this story have a point?!?
I'm perplexed but charmed by this plucky stranger!
Hey Toots! It's me Satan! Catch you later..you know.
I found that travel really broadens you.
Stop her she's got a gun!!!
It's a Mobile Home!....Filled with LazyBoys!
'What are you doing here?' / " I'm the Automatic Pilot!"
Now you're sure your not a Klepto?
Uh Oh! Raid!
Hey did you hear Pigpen died!
Hey! It's Gladys Kravitz!
Now turn your head and clank!
I AM IRON MAN!
Say! That's a pretty good Patrick Swayze
I should have never filled up on that 4 Alarm Chili!
'You shall soon learn!' / "The Power of the Dark One!"
Great! you just invented Stop Animation.
Play a Kenny G Album!
Wait till i get him on the straightaway!
What's behind the panel Johnny?!?
Wasn't he one of the Smith Brothers?
How's the ankle? Oh its fine... Well keep hobbling or I'll half to chew it off
Here whitey whitey, here whitey whitey, here Caucasian
I'll give you 5 minutes... to what?... start running!
I gotta get back and pump some holes into Gary
Check out my watch, it growls at the top of the hour
I call this little invention 'Dr Sax'...
Taste my steel, pasty boy!
"She was a very sick girl, and only then did I realize they wanted me to help her."
I stared at her, that seemed to help.
Now, I can't find your ball anywhere. What are you playing, a Schlesinger 5?
Oh my ankle it's so hot and it hurts n stuff
Hey wait for me I have a cameo in this film!
What navy is he in? I think he's a cab driver.
I'm dead now. Don't hitch-hike.
Would it be crass of me to say "The natives are restless"?
They are on a collision course with a whole lotta trouble!
Deal with it Joyless Troll
"Golly it will be great to get back to a good hot tub." - It may be sooner than you think!
Dark AND white meat.
And so Leona Helmsley's empire was built!
Take that, ya stinkin' coconut!
Meanwhile, at stately Wayne Manor...
You think I could get a table in the No Singing section?
I forget who did what here. I say just shoot the film and let God sort them out!
An Evil Supreme... An Evil Supreme...
Guano hit fan!
*gunshot* "Oh, I hope that's an acceptable greeting..."
"Hi, I'm Satan. Enjoy the film!"
97, 98, 99, 100! Ready or not, here we exist - Oh look, the cosmic universe isn't even TRYING to hide!
"Oh, don't pretend you haven't worn any, Reeves."
"Suddenly, there I was in front of a rear projection screen. You know how I hate those. I screamed, and that seemed to help our relationship."
"What is this-- the Airplane of Doctor Caligari?"
"Let me hear you spell 'patronize.'"
"You're wondering how we can dominate this, aren't ya', Mike?"
"Schaper always leaves you laughing..."
"I just love informing on people."
"You have failed, Monk."
"Whadaya' mean? I wrote Straight No Chaser... 'Round Midnight... Lotsa' good things."
"I have accomplished what they told me was impossible!"
"A funny Gallagher routine?"
"Oh, it looks like a Ding Dong™ with legs!"
What happened Wanama? Were you with the white devil? (Nods) Do we need to get out the anatomically correct doll?
The poison works very slowly and horribly. Sounds like the plot of this movie.
Now, turn your head and clank
I've never seen anything so hideous, so immoral, so atonal.
Yeah, yeah, bathe it in cold water, put a poultice on it... I gotta beat cheeks!
Uh, when you were in flight school, did they teach you how to scream?
[When did he die? - Not quite a month ago.]
-My partner shot him too.
-You're glad to see me?
-Sure, as long as the lights are out!
♪♫I’m Milton, ♪ your brand new son! ♫
"You always say something like that just when I'm starting to enjoy myself". Then I have to wait a few minutes before I leave...
She thinks we speak English.
Well I guess you can throw that away.
Well, we didn't actually get his name.
"There I was surrounded by salad fixins for miles, and no Mandarin Orange Vinegret in sight..."
" Ooooooooooh I never should have filled up on that four alarm chilli.."
" You mean UPSIDASIUM ..."
Okay. New rule. No white people. Must take hard line on this. No exceptions. Send memo.
"White Goddess having trouble?" White fascist getting smart?
Meanwhile, in an equally racist Tarzan movie across the way.
Wanama's working through a lot of pain isn't she?
"These natives are very childlike." After all, they don't even shoot things they don't understand.
"I'd stake my life on it!" That's already in the kitty, Bob.
"Uh, excuse me, are you our waitress? I'd like to order whatever that is on the wall over there."
Yeah, yeah. Nice speech but he's trashing the place!
"She no tell me what 'smart' means." It means you're stacked.
"What's the snake for?" Nastassja Kinski.
"What are you worried about? They're not going to execute you; I'm the one who got the death sentence." You're right, I feel great!
"The penalty for murder is the same here as anywhere else." A plea-bargain to a suspended sentence.
I hope that's a acceptable greeting.
So which navy is he in? I think he's a cab driver.
Guano hit fan!
There's a man on the wing of the plane!
OK, now spell 'Antidisestablishmentarianism'.
Famous tennis star becomes woman.
Uh, Donner party of three, please...
I forget who did what here - I say shoot de picture, let God sort it out.
Look at all the pizzas that guy can hold!
Oh, don't do that! You scared the pants off me!
"You're not gonna tell her about the new element you discovered, are you?" You mean upsy-daisy-um?
Spread out, Sabu, three's a crowd!
Let me get this straight: You survived in the jungle for six years and now your telling me you just sprained your ankle on a piece of moss?!
Hi, I'm Satan, enjoy the film!
He killed a coconut. In cold milk.
"I'm not afraid!" - L'chaim?
Hey, I just invented the post it note!
Someone oughta spank that monkey.
Hey, are you going to that dead concert? Yeah, did you hear that Pig-Pen died?
Pig-Pen is dead!? Auugh!
If Pig-Pen is dead, I don't wanna live either!
...and, uh ...so then they just run totally unrelated stock footage of animals, right? and... and not even at the same altitude? ... Or creatures not even indigenous to the area?!?
"Wanama dumb!" doo doo do do doo! "Wanama dumb!" doo doo do do doo!
"I'll give you five minutes." To start running!
Dont you ever call me Galahad again, ever.
Well, you know what this forest needs is a woman's touch.
So, you wanna tell them, or should I?
"Whenever you're ready, Mrs Zorka," put that lampshade on your head, tie femur bones around your waist and dance naked in the moonlight!
Burn the file on the electric dance belt and pick up my manhood- it's under the chair.
Reagan's deregulation of television reallllly pays off...
He's dead, she's mine, I'm in love, we're outta here!
So... every time I eat a burger, an acre of this stuff disappears? I don't get it...
Say, Bill...? Don't look now, but I think your kneecaps are on fire!
Hey, Bob, there's a living thing! Why dont'cha swing into high and kill it?
Oh, great, now HE'S got a line!
Man Of Steel, huh? Phone THIS in to Perry White!
Get me -- sentenced to death, and I'm STILL makin' time!
Like they say... it's never a rock video until they burn something!
What's goin' on? Somebody drop a contact?
Then, I came upon a sanitary landfill... I knew that civilization must be near.
Thanks to my Halston, I still looked fabulous!
We're in trouble; how's the model doing?
Hey, my skull's startin' to hurt; will you clam up?
Here, have this; I gotta go with Henry Silva, here...
Boy, she really put the boot to YOU back there, Bob!
Uhh, not yet... uh, two more pages...?
They're on the same set, at least...
Nice ensembles for a couple of guys who forgot to gas up!
Oh, they HAD to land; the rubber band's unwound!
Aw, come clean with me, Frank; tell me you haven't had the urge to ram this baby into the ground!
I think we just flew through a dissolve!
What's a five-letter word for rum and Diet Coke?
Hey, have you seen my underwear with the red "S" on it...?
I'd like a table in the "No Singing" section...?
Enjoy the only exterior shot!
Hats. Hats, hats, HATS, *hats.* Hats! Hats.
Welp, she threw a shoe. That means I'm going to have to shoot her.
That's Bob's department.
"Manama dumb." Doo doo, do-do-do...
There I was, surrounded by salad fixings for miles, and no mandarin orange vinaigrette in sight!
"Tommy Tune and.... Merce Cunningham," describing the natives' dance of death.
Does this story have a point?
"Are you daffy?" No, I'm Porky. You're Daffy!
Uh, when you were in flight school, did they teach you how to scream?
(guy frantically beating on drum): "No, no, no! I didn't say turn on the fan!"
Spring: When a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of elephants