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210 - King Dinosaur
Comments (35) Best Riffs (106)
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I'd say this patient is dead. I'm no expert, but dead's the word.
I've never even seen a Kurosawa film! The works of Francois Truffaut? Uh Uh, not familiar with them, sorry! The Odessa step sequence? I don't think I know that one...
"Thank you, Satan! Yes, it's Polynesian Cheese Devils. Fill your mouth up with half a Kraft™ hot dog, put ketchup all over your face, and then spit it back out saying, 'My tongue! My tongue!' We'll be right back!"
"I don't know about this lemur. It tastes kinda' gamey..." "A little stringy."
"Uh, that's one small step for a man... Uh, one giant step into a cowpie. Over."
"Boy, God sure has a crummy office, doesn't he?"
"That's because all the decorators are in Hell."
Hi, remember me? I'm Satan! You never know where I'm gonna pop up, but first a recipe from my pal Ed Herlihy!
"...He'd drive through at a snails pace." - Nursing homes though--whoa!
Hey Joel, is she a Bubble-headed Blonde?
Mmm well, Yeah!
"Ladies & Gentlemen of the jury..." --Oh that's great, we're stranded in space & we STILL have 2 do jury duty!
" I will be with you in a moment, I'm just sealing up some fates. "
Joe used to say "If you're going to bury a body in a shallow grave make sure you use quicklime!"
Red flare at night - lizards fight. Red flare in the morning - lizards take warning.
I believe by the end of this decade we will land a piece of stock footage on another planet. Ask not what a processed shot can do for you.
'See, Joe had two kids of his own at that school'
... and if his wife ever found out...
{cue Mr. Touchdown music}
... and at halftime, The Injuries are ahead of Fatalities here in New Jersey.
ANGEL: He'd weave through traffic like a mouse through a maze.
TOM: Squeaking and calling himself Algernon.
(Joey the lemur finally appears in the movie!) "Hey, where'd you pick this one up?" He jumped right out of Pauls' chest!
Oh great, we're stranded in space in space and we still have jury duty!
"Will you guys knock it off? I can't concentrate on my OWN me wisecracks!" -- "Good..."
Oh, I'm filled with wonder - these titles have whisked me away to a magic land!
Your careers are finally almost oooo-verrrr! You'll never beee-eee in another fiiii-iiilllmm!
It's Saturday Night At Ringside, ladies and gentlemen, with Gecko-Roman Wrestling!
We stepped outta' the boat inta' knee-deep scum -- the rest of the film!
I've got a headache THIS BIG -- and it's got "stock footage" written all over it!
Hey, I'm Satan! Remember me? This is the first part of my three-picture development deal...!
Hm, they're making pretty good time, considering this is a Lippert film...
Fifteen-minute break here, everybody! Lippert Rules apply here...
Relax? There's a bee the size of a moose over there and you want him to relax?!
"He just about reached this point,..." When he stepped into a wormhole and was transported to the 16th century.
"I have a whole book of just a cocktail drinkers." Jerks wouldn't let me in to their club.
"That's enough about him as a driver" How was he as a cocktail waitress?
You can't see it fwom heeah, but my toh-so is fused to a bwock of gwanite.
or
"I've heard enough about how he is as a driver..." "How is he as a cocktail waitress?"
I love how detonating a nuclear weapon on a young planet is considered an acceptable "Plan B". "Oh hey, this planet is in a stage equivalent to prehistoric Earth! Let's inundate it with absurd amounts of lethal radiation!"
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♫ Joey the Lemur he's actually a Sloth! ♫
This announcer clearly doesn't understand the difference between Jet and Rocket propulsion. Also, the many other thinks he got terribly wrong.
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So the fate of your immortal soul is directly dependent on your driving record?
This is one of the best from Season 2 - so many good riffs. I'm surprised it hasn't gotten more laughs. Come on, MSTies! 👍👍
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[rolleyes]
Why even bother to have "lady scientists" in your film if all they do is scream, whine about marriage and generally serve as dead weight. Hell, the not-so-happy housewives of It Conquered The World had more gumption than this. And Queen Laura from The Outlaw was more sympathetic.
Three minutes in, Crow channels The Floaters.
8) Crowwww... yeahhhh... <3
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Did anyone else really like Joel's poem? Did he write it? Google yields no results, so I assume he did.
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King Dinosaur, more like King Lizard! I hate when directors get cheap and make petstore lizards out to be dinosaurs ugh!!!
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Ever notice Joel flubs a lot & they just keep it rollin'? Around 1:08 he asks if the Vultures "r Normal sized or Real size? They don't tell us that...". And earlier during the Joey the Lemur sketch he says "elder-me" instead of elderly. I love that they, like many of the movies they watch flub & keep on goin'. 2nd up is the occasional mistake from Trace's Crow, doesn't seem 2 happen much 2 him a lot. Not sure if I've ever heard Tom flub.
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As the mushroom cloud rises, " we've brought civilization to planet Nova." Lol!
I love the way Crow says "They ate the lemur..."
lol he sounds so disturbed
Think globally, act locally!!
Crow's speech FTW!
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Bert I. Gordon directed 8 films that became MST3K episodes, more than any one director...and never has Bert I given less of a f*ck than here, in King Dinosaur. It's a masterpiece of cinematic apathy second only to Attack of the Eye Creatures.
Oh no you don't! Don't you DARE try to have a message, movie!
An armadillo??? Come on, Bert! That's not even a reptile!!!
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I think it's safe to say that animals WERE harmed in the making of this film. :P
They couldn't have hired a 6 year old to make a clay dinosaur?
No, good ol' Bert I just figured his audience was too stupid to spot the difference between a T. Rex and an iguana with a horn glued to its head. :P
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So their entire crew consists of a zoologist, a geologist, a chemist, and a physician...That just leaves one question:
WHO FLEW THE BLOODY ROCKET???
Did they just point it in the direction of Nova, light the fuse, and pray?And even if they did something like that, how are they supposed to get back? NONE of them are qualified to fly that thing!
Where else but MST3K could you find a Hitchhiker's Guide reference on American TV in the early 90s? :D
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Okaay, so the title "King Dinosaur" is just a tad misleading. A bunch of lizards tearing into each other, a giant bee, some birds and a "lemur" do not a royal dinosaur make. Why not just call it, "Random Animal Stock Footage"? Or "We Filmed a Zoo"? Also, I feel bad for all the other critters just minding their own business on that island, like the giant armadillo and elephants... You know what, never mind.
Huh, just out of curiosity, do you guys agree with that scorecard from the fans?
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.....That kinkajou is adorable....
Also, that Emotional Scientist sketch was kinda sweet.
Colonel Potter is God? Heaven is in good hands.
3 o'clock Earth time?
This film brought to you by Revere tape recorders.
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Is anybody taking odds that Joel was high as a kite when they filmed that 'Joey the Lemur' bit?
I love how all the launch footage is stock footage of test launches of captured V-2s at White Sands. Still, a much classier use of old stock footage of rockets than "Creeping Terror", which showed us stock footage of an Atlas ICBM launch run in reverse and expected us to believe it was an alien spacecraft landing (uh huh, yeah, right).
Why, yes, I _am_ a hopeless old space history geek...
Joey the Lemur, whose in-film counterpart was a kinkajou-- what is up with this sketch? I just don't get it. It's a little disturbing.
Very delayed callback in Episode 611 - Last of the Wild Horses.
I love how, when they're fleeing the area before the nuke goes off, the women are shrieking and squealing hysterically, the guys are shoving them down the hill towards the raft, and the music score is mocking them: "Nyahhhh nyah-nyah nyahhhh nyah-nyah nyaahhh nyaahhhhhh...!" Still, I think Joel and the Bots missed a bet by not breaking out into the "Hawaii Five-O" theme when the "explorers" dived into the rafts and started paddling like hell across the lake.
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1:10:33- I think that poor gal really smacked her head up against that rock!
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Aah, the Fifties, where blowing up everything with a Nuclear Weapon is okay if it's different and unfamiliar!
"record every vibrating pulse" Oh Yeaaa!