210 - King Dinosaur
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
The film on the lake is better than the film we're watching.
I brought the atom bomb. I think this is a good time to use it.
( why did he bring it in the first place? Why did he think after the escape was a good time to use it?)
Hey look. It's Woodstock! Three days of peace, love and stock footage!
I wouldn't marry you if you were one of three people on this planet.
So with peace in their hearts and fiery death in their eyes they went home.
Just pull her by her hair.
He's just scooping water into the boat.
*cocks gun* Now, where is that tall tower?
Chug, chug, chug, chug! Save some for daddy. He needs his medicine.
Oh, now he's dead again.
Daddy needs his love medicine.
Oh, there's a foreign object in the ring!
Of course you can't, you're girls. Pfffft, dames.
That means...LIZARD WRESTLING! Red flare at night, lizards fight. Red flare in the morning, lizards take warning!
Hey, get me, I'm a Hasidic rabbi!
Get up there, you stupid cullotted little...
...have to sit here, don't even have my 'roid cushion...
I'm gonna need a bigger shoe. We're gonna get a bigger shoe, right?
C'mon you bastards, I'm ready for you!
...recording each vibrating pulse. Oh YES!!!
...recording every vibrating pulse. YES!!!
"Was his car regularly inspected?"
"Yes Sir... " "HEY! I'm no Commie!!!
"He said a silent prayer to 'BONGO', the God of gravity."
That sounds like lizards dropping!
"Who's the cook tonight?"
"I'll do it."
How do you like your lemur?
I've got a headache this big and it's got stock footage written all over it.
Boy, I feel like I wrestled an alligator last night!
When in danger or in doubt, run in circles scream and shout!
The owl footage is not what it seems.
"We'll mark that 'Exhibit B'..."
...and I'll slit my wrist with it 'cause I'm bored by this whole thing.
And so, with peace in their hearts and fiery death in the sky - they went home...
I feel like I'm watching Mondo Cane...
All right, folks, there's a 2-drink minimum, now...
I can almost see it!
He's like Commissioner Fudd!
You know, they're only two miles away from the blast. Aren't they going to get vaporized?
So...we'll just...drizzle out of this scene, too.
Well, score one for Earth.
"Medicine must be represented on this trip..." ...Cause they'll need drugs.
"The study of rock formations and its minerals is like reading the personal diary of the planet." Yes, it's not very polite.
Marvin Miller, this must be his 'Crossing!' Heh heh... with the movie... Joel and Ethan Coen...
"Sounds like thunder."
Actually, it's jet noise. Oh, well, they'll fix it in post.
"On April 23rd, the word to start comes from Washington."
Tom Gries and the whole world gries with him.
I'm watching over you. Now, procreate.
The owl footage is not what it seems.
Damn lemur did this to me.
Phew... I just had this crazy dream... it was erotic.
When did you start having these feelings of being a commissioner?
Learn anything? Yeah your the father!
Sorry I tore your picture.
Sorry I ripped your dress.
Sorry I smashed your lunchbox.
Sorry I...broke your heart.
It sounds like an alligator mauling Bob!
Hey, is that a snake or is Steve just happy to see me?
Hi, remember me? I'm Satan.
I haven't seen a wasp that big since the Nixon years!
"Now let's get out of these suits"
"And into a dry martini!"
I'm gonna load up the steely dan.
Why do you have to bring your shoes everywhere?
Isn't it daylight now? They all have cataracts.
"Then the little boy ran out..." - with his skull clutched in his hands.
A normal sized owl, who'd a thought it?
"Joe had two kids of his own at that school." And if his wife ever found out! *Buh-dum tish*
looks like he's pushing her down again, for no reason....what a jerk!
Sounds like it swallowed a dolphin.
Ah, they taped over the Beatles' Berlin tapes!
I'd say this patient is dead. I'm no expert, but dead's the word.
This week, in Dead People's Court...
I symbolically represent the pace of this film.
Da poor guy was James Dean, de end.
"He's got a wife and two beautiful children." Now I make my move.
Looks like a Gino Vannelli concert.
Up yours! I mean, we'll be right there!
I've never even seen a Kurosawa film! The works of Francois Truffaut? Uh Uh, not familiar with them, sorry! The Odessa step sequence? I don't think I know that one...
"Thank you, Satan! Yes, it's Polynesian Cheese Devils. Fill your mouth up with half a Kraft™ hot dog, put ketchup all over your face, and then spit it back out saying, 'My tongue! My tongue!' We'll be right back!"
"I don't know about this lemur. It tastes kinda' gamey..." "A little stringy."
"Uh, that's one small step for a man... Uh, one giant step into a cowpie. Over."
"He became alarmed by my mottled face and bumpy skull."
"Boy, God sure has a crummy office, doesn't he?"
"That's because all the decorators are in Hell."
"Let's see there's 'Dickweed', 'Dork', Dumbsh--' ahhh, 'Doakes.'"
"If you kill yourselves here, we can't kill them over there."
Hi, remember me? I'm Satan! You never know where I'm gonna pop up, but first a recipe from my pal Ed Herlihy!
It sounds like it swallowed a dolphin.
Hey, uh, you're spending a lot of time on that one nipple there...
"...He'd drive through at a snails pace." - Nursing homes though--whoa!
Hey Joel, is she a Bubble-headed Blonde?
Mmm well, Yeah!
"Ladies & Gentlemen of the jury..." --Oh that's great, we're stranded in space & we STILL have 2 do jury duty!
I think the film on this lake is better than the film we're watching.
"Luck be a LIZARD tonight !!"
" Then German Airshows are performed, hundreds are killed. "
" I will be with you in a moment, I'm just sealing up some fates. "
" Now over there, that's Mic Jagger's cloud, stay off of it... "
Joe used to say "If you're going to bury a body in a shallow grave make sure you use quicklime!"
Oh, death-loving vultures! Neat. hmm.
He's a chocolate mess!
Luck be a lizard tonight.
Sorry, that's a lizard from Pet World, guy.
Red flare at night - lizards fight. Red flare in the morning - lizards take warning.
Hey those aren't real tears. I've heard about you.
"I'll put the raft over there" on that sharp rock. Ssssssss
Is that a snake or is Steve just glad to see me?
...without energy. Would you wake up! Come on!
Hey we're NEO-conservative doctors.
I believe by the end of this decade we will land a piece of stock footage on another planet. Ask not what a processed shot can do for you.
'See, Joe had two kids of his own at that school'
... and if his wife ever found out...
Mm-hm.... So! We'll just, ahh, let this scene trail off, then.
So... we'll just, ahh, drizzle outta this scene, too, hah? Yeah.
Yeah, let's go home and grow some three-headed kids.
Tell...the bee...I love him....
"Special equipment is developed" Then, discarded.
Twas beast killed the beast.
"A red flare, Pat!" That means...lizard wrestling!
My name is Benji and I'm a pan-dimensional being.
ANGEL: He'd weave through traffic like a mouse through a maze.
TOM: Squeaking and calling himself Algernon.
Here, the effects of 13 rum and diet cokes are tested.
Ya see, I stopped a car wit my face once, my forehead's all Bond-o.
"What a desolate forsaken place!" What a stilted pretentious line.
(Joey the lemur finally appears in the movie!) "Hey, where'd you pick this one up?" He jumped right out of Pauls' chest!
"Free Ghost"! Woo! "Stairway to Heaven!"
Oh great, we're stranded in space in space and we still have jury duty!
"Set him here on this bodybag!"
God I love you! I want to shout it from my oxygen tank!
"Will you guys knock it off? I can't concentrate on my OWN me wisecracks!" -- "Good..."
Two seagulls, Gertrude and Heathcliff...
Hi - I couldn't help noticing your suitcase and your shoes!
Maybe you should take your foot off the clutch - THERE ya go...
Oh, I'm filled with wonder - these titles have whisked me away to a magic land!
So,go on with your little story... Go ahead...
I'll be with you in a moment, I'm just sealing some fates...
Why is he blow-drying the grass??
"Guardian, I want the whole truth" ...so help me Me!
Your careers are finally almost oooo-verrrr! You'll never beee-eee in another fiiii-iiilllmm!
Hey, it's the MGM Lion... no, it's the Lippert Lizard!
Alright, now that THAT'S done... WHERE'S LIPPERT?
Y'know, guys, lizards WERE hurt in the making of this picture!
Wow, a giant mutated lizard... wish we had some PICTURES OF IT!
It's Saturday Night At Ringside, ladies and gentlemen, with Gecko-Roman Wrestling!
Are they gonna fight over who tastes more like chicken?
Hey, throw me the lemur! That's all I want!
We stepped outta' the boat inta' knee-deep scum -- the rest of the film!
I've got a headache THIS BIG -- and it's got "stock footage" written all over it!
I haven't seen a wasp that big since the Nixon Years!
No, you idiot! That's my saxophone!
Hey, I'm Satan! Remember me? This is the first part of my three-picture development deal...!
...and there, on the handle, was some stock footage of a hook!
Hm, they're making pretty good time, considering this is a Lippert film...
Fifteen-minute break here, everybody! Lippert Rules apply here...
Shoot the snake, not the girl! On second thought...
Relax? There's a bee the size of a moose over there and you want him to relax?!
"He just about reached this point,..." When he stepped into a wormhole and was transported to the 16th century.
"I have a whole book of just a cocktail drinkers." Jerks wouldn't let me in to their club.
He said a silent prayer to Bongo, God of Gravity.
"You were born in New Jersey?" I thought I smelled something.
Dear diary, it's hard beeing God.
Are you George Bailey?
Even the musicians are mocking this film.
Why don't you wake up the girls so they can scream?
"That's enough about him as a driver" How was he as a cocktail waitress?
GET OUT OF THE WAY! You had your chance-
Now over there is Mick Jagger's cloud. Stay off of it.
Take my hand; I'm a stranger with parasites.
Ah, thank you Captain Cutaway.
Besides I've decided I'm the new god of this planet
"And then gave it the gas" and then gave him the bird
You can't see it fwom heeah, but my toh-so is fused to a bwock of gwanite.
Well, we'll just put in here by the turd pond.
Oh for fun!
I'm Chirpy, the mutant hellbeast, and I don't like this film.