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313 - Earth vs. the Spider



Viewers_big 2 people watching this episode right now.
150 laughs

Comments (82) Best Riffs (218)

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Lisa Matriccino - 11 days ago

The kids are named Carol and Mike - and no Brady Bunch jokes?


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I can't believe they made it through the whole thing without referencing Spider-Man (was really expecting that when they found the giant web across the road) or Charlotte.

Also: *pushes up nerd glasses* The movie's supposed spider expert kept calling it an insect. Insects have six legs. Spiders are arachnids. Any high school science teacher should know that.


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Linnaeis "I AM the button" Blake - about 1 month ago

Boris! Boris! Boris! Boris!


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Brian Peter Vandenbroek - about 1 month ago

approximately 49:45
So let me get this straight. Her dad dies suddenly and horribly and her mom is just "Oh well, back on the horse kiddo. Do that homework and get those grades up."
.......The Hell?


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Bees On Pie - about 1 month ago

So I watched "Speech: Using Your Voice" on Friday morning and later that afternoon heard Pierre Trudeau welcoming Syrians to Canada but ALL I COULD HEAR was his use of "uh" every other word. All I could think of was the "local static" in the headhunter's story about ostriches.


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Teri Gee - 4 months ago

While I was watching this time, I noticed that the actor playing Joe looked a lot like the actor playing Hugo the janitor. I looked it up on IMDb and Joe is played by Troy Patterson. Hugo is played by Hank Patterson.

It doesn't say that they're related, but they easily could have been. Troy Patterson was born in 1923. Hank Patterson was born in 1888.

Oh, and Hank Patterson was in Green Acres, Beverly Hillbillies and Petticoat Junction.


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David - 4 months ago

For those so inclined, 'Attack of the Puppet People' is available for free (with commercial interruptions) on Youtube. Apparently Bert I was really exploring cross advertising because Puppet People features John Agar and the blond of the moment, at a drive in watching 'The Amazing Colossal Man'.


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Snuffy Wuffykiss - 6 months ago

I have to agree with Joel about some kids ruining toys for the rest of us. We all knew that fireworks and lawn darts and stuff were dangerous, that's what made them more fun to play with. Of course parental supervision was highly important but i remember being young and the only kids who really hurt themselves were the ones so dumb they would have gotten hurt somehow anyways. ( backyard wrestling anyone )


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Teri Gee - 6 months ago

Would there be copyright issues with showing movies other than his own in the theater? I'm sure there's some shameless self-promotion going on, but would Bert I. Gordon have been required to pay royalties if he showed the posters for other movies?


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 6 months ago

1:28:36 No, no, no, a thousand times no! The cilia on the spider's feet would be way too big for the Van der Waal forces to work! That spider just ain't climbing no wall!


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 6 months ago

1:23:20 I know you guys are stressed out, but there's no need to cuss!


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 6 months ago

Who's the guy that plays Mr. Haskell AKA the road foreman AKA Crackle? He sounds familiar, but I can't place the voice...


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 6 months ago

40:55 "PDQASAPUSOB"? Please Don't Quit Asking Sam About Poisoning the Uber-Spider, Oh Baby?


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 6 months ago

18:18 Woah, guys, check it out! The writing on the chalkboard is in German!


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Last of the Wild Ponies - 6 months ago

Anyone ever notice that the notes Dr. Forrester sifts through right before the invention exchange are actually slices of American cheese?


Spiders Are Not Insects
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Donald Petkus - 7 months ago

although the science teachers implies that while talking with the sherif on the phone.


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Hawthorne Rollings - 10 months ago

I recognized the back lot this was filmed in from the movie Elvira, Mistress of the Dark, and that giant teen movie with Tommy Kirk.


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Hawthorne Rollings - 10 months ago

When they are removing Carol's Dad's remains in the cave they ignore the other human remains, skeletons, skulls, and never broach the subject of these bones?


They Do?
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Donald Petkus - about 1 year ago

While the kids are lost in the cavern with the spider, the sherrif reassures the girls mom. He says that the kids have good sense. Where's the evidence for that?


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Robert Brown - about 1 year ago

This episode is criminally underappreciated.


Ed Kemmer in WWII
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Donald Petkus - about 1 year ago

Ed Kemmer, our science teacher, was a fighter pilot in WWII. He evaded capture for two weeks after escaping a POW camp. Apparently there were a lot of greatest generation folks ( including Ed Wood) in those B movies.


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Sheesh ... another one. 38:40 - bat harmlessly flapping around in its natural habitat, and the moment the sherrif sees it he opens fire.
What is it with all these movies where everything the slightest bit unusual or unexpected is greeted with a hail of bullets from the good guys if not the hero? Anyone would think every problem can be solved by shooting it.


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Lewis Nitzberg STINKS! - over 1 year ago

Around, 50:00ish, when he's talking about that new picture, "something about Puppet People"...
http://www.rifftrax.com/attack-of-the-puppet-people


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NavySandman - over 1 year ago

I love the way the 'Bots giggle during the short when the speaker say to "use plenty of lip and tongue action"...


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Jessica Benjamin - over 1 year ago

at about 1:21 when the hand comes out of the rubble Tom says "Doesnt that belong to the drummer from def lepard" in case anyone was wondering


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Teri Gee - over 1 year ago

I love their faces when they said "the CURD-less phone". I love bad puns!


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Kyle Butler - almost 2 years ago

Jeez, her dad takes ELABORATE measures to masturbate in peace in a cave and she STILL finds a way to nose her way in and interrupt him during his ritualistic fapping! Dont listen to your wives gentlemen, never have kids!


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Jay Michael - almost 2 years ago

42:33 Joel: Dr. Erhardt NO!! So that's what happened to him.
:)


Frank still has a bunch of cheese cubes on his tray before Joel's invention exchange...
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...but then, as he says, "I think I ate all the whole thing." Joel's invention exchange presentation only took a minute. It's funny to imagine Frank furiously gobbling cheese while Dr. F's back is turned watching Joel. That is all.


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Errol1220 - almost 2 years ago

Hey... was that a house glued to a Klingon ship with an American flag @ 46:23?
Genius!


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Gabriel Block - almost 2 years ago

I just realized, they showed a clip from this movie in lilo & stitch.


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Stereo Catz - about 2 years ago

Lawn Darts are a little bit different story The kid of the guy who got lawn darts banned didn't go running to daddy because she was dead. Lawn darts friggin kill people so I'm not putting those on the same shelf as creepy crawlers. .


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Stereo Catz - about 2 years ago

What is that at 57:18? It sounds like Servo is saying something but Kevin's mike isn't picking it up.


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Stereo Catz - about 2 years ago

Ooh... They compare the sheriff in this episode to Alan Hale. But in their next giant spider movie The Giant Spider Invasion the sheriff actually IS Alan Hale. Spooky.


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Dr. Despicable - about 2 years ago

I guess I'm going to need some sawdust now...


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Sean Barry - about 2 years ago

My computer gets a RAM chip for being such a good robot and playing MST3K for me.


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Sean Barry - about 2 years ago

Hahaha the spider is voiced by Roger Waters!


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Sean Barry - about 2 years ago

This must be the VERY remedial school, lol. Some of these "high school kids" look like they're closing in on 40.


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Sean Barry - about 2 years ago

HA! The poster for 'The Amazing Colossal Man' at 50:18. Nice.


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Sean Barry - about 2 years ago

Movie: "What's that noise?"
Servo: "I dunno, maybe something unspeakably horrible."


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Amethystia "Coco" Forrester - about 2 years ago

I did an actual spit take. Thank you, mst3k!


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Classicats - about 2 years ago

Funny thing is, they did revive the Creepy Crawlers maker in the 90s, just a safer version. My friend had one, and I remember that smell! According to the internets, it came out the year after this ep was shown.


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Oh, great, so you spend your adolescence with a bunch of geeky losers and now that's our cross to bear?


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E B - over 2 years ago

The really realistic part of this flick (once you get past the notion of a tarantula the size of a city block that doesn't collapse into jelly from its own massive body-weight) was the way it powered through the brick wall at the school to gobble up the janitor but was unable to make it through the clapboarding at the science teacher's house to get the wife and kid. The tragedy here is that I remember when these goofy 50's sci-fi flicks scared the ever-loving crap out of me. I hang my head in shame.


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Teri Gee - over 2 years ago

I'm blowing my hair while I'm blowing my mind!


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Joseph Ewing - over 2 years ago

If they can't pronounce something, they should reference it, period


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Lois Kobb - over 2 years ago

In that short, the guy giving advice on speaking has one of the worst speaking voices ever, a dull monotone that's guaranteed to put listeners to sleep.


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Robert Brown - over 2 years ago

YOu know, it does seem a bit insensitive when her mom tells Carol that Mike is at his dad's theater as she's lamenting her dead pop. I mean, come on Mom!


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Robert Brown - over 2 years ago

Crow's "Enjoy!" @~43m is the best Erhardt tribute ever.


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Punch Rockgroin - over 2 years ago

45:38 Crow speaks the truth.


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Michael S - over 2 years ago

While watching this I actually had a spider crawl up my foot. Timing is everything!... and the spider was released into the great outdoors as I did not want its mother showing up looking for it (you never know...)


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Michael S - over 2 years ago

I will forgive the slams on KISS :)


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Harold Cagle - over 2 years ago

WOW! My name is Cagle.


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Morgan Zindzi T - over 2 years ago

Gary Bussy? what you talkin bout servo?


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Elisa Farrington - over 2 years ago

The spider sounds like Gypsy when Josh Weinstein did her voice!


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Elisa Farrington - over 2 years ago

Between me and my two older brothers we had every toy mentioned in the creepy crawlie sketch except the lawn darts. I remember pressing silly putty on the newspaper cartoons, my brother waking me and my sister up for school with that ugly black air blaster and burning myself making Incredible Edibles (that tasted better than the cakes I 'baked' in my Easy Bake oven.


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Kelly Slane - over 2 years ago

I have to say I love every time Joel yanks Crow out of the theater!


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Joseph Ewing - over 2 years ago

Pause the movie at 56:05. The drummer's facial expression is possibly my favorite part of this entire movie.


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Marcia Larson - over 2 years ago

the first part about good speech made me totally hysterical. Had to watch it twice.


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Mike Carmona - over 2 years ago

Spy vs Spy... Cuz they look like Trumpy in black and white... Heh...


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Lewis Nitzberg STINKS! - almost 3 years ago

"Yes, Gentle Giant, King Crimson and Emerson Lake and Palmer" - some of my favorite bands! This episode just got much more respect from me


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Super McWonderfull - almost 3 years ago

Nice 48 star US flag.(11:46)


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Laura Ann Fitton - almost 3 years ago

so we are looking for a drunk spider


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Kiri T. Unicorn - almost 3 years ago

Carol's dad, who has no lines and gets killed in the first moments...

THAT'S MERRITT STONE!!


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Leonard Bruce - almost 3 years ago

I like a good Batman joke!


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Richard Deakin - about 3 years ago

I wonder if that 40-yr. old kid got his car back lol...P/S. and why did the spiders victims always have white hair? It suck there life juices outta them not aged them to death lol


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Sage Harpuia - about 3 years ago

An ostritsh in the jungle? Poor thing must have been lost.


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Cliff Beefpile - about 3 years ago

Joel's cheese phone was invented in the same month and year as I was born! Coincidence? Read the book.

Also, I like the nod to the Forrester/Earhardt days.


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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

DDT may not kill giant spiders, but at least they don't have to worry about any bald-eagles for a few generations.


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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

"Don't you wish you had some women?" They have a Cybernetic Remotely Operated Woman.


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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

Sure was thoughtful of the spider to string up all those lights in the cave.


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Kelly Slane - over 3 years ago

I JUST got "Carol'sDad's Caverns"... I've been to Carlsbad years and years ago, and I JUST got that now...


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Kimono Dragon - over 3 years ago

Good thing the janitor doesn't work at a hotel. Absolutely no chin at all. It would take him 30 minutes to change a pillowcase.


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Rachel Adams - over 3 years ago

This is my favorite short- ever. "Don't worry, we've had him put down."


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Brad D - over 3 years ago

Great acting by Hank Patterson AKA Fred Ziffel from "Green Acres."


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Puma Man - over 3 years ago

I grew up in the 90s and played with Creepy Crawlers when they were revived. Now I feel like I owe Joel and the bots ...Of course, mine was much safer ...But I do remember a home smelter that made tiny figurines. That sounded like a fun accident waiting to happen.


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"Earth vs. Soup" sounds way better than some of the turkeys they were subjected to.


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Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - almost 4 years ago

Hey, is the guy in the Short the same guy on the Speech and Posture short in Red Zone Cuba?


15 laughs

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Cliff Beefpile - almost 4 years ago

I'm using lots of lip and tongue action right now!


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Alex Stefanic - almost 4 years ago

Did teenage actors just not exsist in the '50s?


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David Pietrusza - almost 4 years ago

So, it's either "Earth VS the Spider" or "Arachnophobia". Eitherway, some milquetoaste actor gets the boid... er, spider.


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Elel - almost 4 years ago

The short's the best part of this, but watch the movie-- you'll laugh (at the humans) you'll cry (for the spider.)