314 - Mighty Jack
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
It'll take us about a half hour to get home, and we're gonna film every minute of it.
"We can't just sit here like this!" We're getting hemorrhoids!
Please, phrase it in the form of a question!
(Mr. Rogers voice) Hi, boys and girls. I'm gonna take my shoes off and put my little sneakers on.
And then Patrick Swayse walks in and says, "It's my way or the highway."
It will take us about a half hour to get home.. and we'll film every minute of it.
(Scotty voice) I can't change the laws of physics, Captain. I've got to have thirty minutes.
"Ah, Bay" -- 🎵ooo eee oo-ah-ahh ting tang walla-walla bing bang 🎵
(French accent) Oui, I am that person.
Tom: Q's on first.
Crow: That's what I'm asking.
Tom: Third base.
"Dr. Hyde, you take over."
That's MISTER Hyde, sir.
Wow. It's the cover of Dianetics.
Apocalypse Now? hah Apocalypse NOT!
"It's seven zero seven zero" -- 🎶 Sunset Strip 🎶
Oh, Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes Benz. My friends all have Porsches.....
My cigarettes are ringing.
My elbow exploded!
I love the smell of burning flesh and the sound of breaking glass!
Take me to the nearest plot point!
Don't point. That's not polite.
I forgot! It's Tuesday!
Oh, that'll help a lot.
Cuando para mundo
Esta mia corazon
Chi chi chimichanga...
"Doctor? I've got this awful headache..." Ok, climb in.
Continuous bank turn continuing, sir.
The newspapers often talk about Mighty Jack, but nobody does anything about it!
You two want some gum?
What are you trying to do? I was gonna tear your arm off.
My wife died years ago. "So, you're available?"
We've been smoking Lebanese Blonde and we're flying right now.
Toy diver, toy diver, toy diver.
It's Memphis Bell, another dumb movie.
Western Union. Do do do do do do do do do do do do do.
Hey, it's a one hitter. Woohoo!
Mmmm, that's good weed.
"OKAY Mr. Manifest Destiny!"
"Dr. von Mueller."
Oh, the Chinese guy.
Well, we'll always have Peres.
Sorry I blew up like that.
Okay, let's do it - let's fall in love.
I have a feeling that kooky chaos is about to ensue.
I'll just place it very carefully on the counter and—
I'm not too proud of this, just print my name small.
So....just plumb ran out of things to say, huh?
Wallpaper theater will be back...
That's what I'm asking! THIRD BASE!
Open the Venetian blinds!
"Who is this Atari, anyway?"
He invented Pong!
He's getting tan and handsome in there!
I was born in the house my father built...
It's Fritz - you can tell by his blinking pinky ring!
It's Toy Donahue - heh-heh...
I admit it - I'm way off script, I have no idea what I'm doing,,,
I think you and I have very different ideas about advertising... Let's see how the PROS do it!
You get an 'A'!
If I'm not mistaken, I should have a phone - oh, no, just my insole...
This is no place for a convertible!
- Door is ajar...
- Ignite cigarette...
- Have second thoughts about girl in bar...
"It's Gamera! Oh..."
"AGAIN with the bank turn!"
"He died as he lived, loving his work."
"You named your son FRITZ??"
"WRONG! Go fish!"
Joel: "Ice ice baby?"
Movie: "A strange bullet, it's transparent!"
Crow: "Like this plot..."
Movie: "Ah, you're the person in charge here, eh? Mr. Atari."
Servo: "Still trying to launch Pong, eh???"
"Has the goatee come yet?"
Gypsy: "C'mon guys, I got stuff to do!"
"Live long, and prosper. NOT!"
"My name is Bond. Frank Bond."
If I'm not mistaken I should have a Rabbit over there, at least!
It's the helicopter from Daktari!
Hey, it's J. Edgar Hoover! "I will crush the Kennedy's!"
Come on, finish it!
Writers! Oh Brother,tell me about it!
High school shop classes are quickly taken!
Oh my aching imperialist dogs!!
Evil Good Humor Men!!
I know it sounds strange, but I think I'm a Zebra!!!
I am so High!
Hey! Django Reinhardt? Nah...too many fingers!
Here's the receipt for your Depends. Sir.
Three-sixteenths breed. That's all I ever heard.
♫Cuando, cuando y mundo... contigo escobar... esta mi corazón... chi-chi-chimichanga...♫
I'll just place it very carefully on the counter and... oh HIKEEBA!
She will not have my apple. It's mine.
Hey, it's J. Edgar Hoover. *whispered* 'I will crush the Kennedys.'
Never underrate your enemy... I think that's how it goes...
Hmmm the cameraman must of lost interest in what was goin on there...
There gonna return the car to the wild!
Dead rhubarb! Exploding rhubarb!
Not long for this world rhubarb!
Dead soldier rhubarb!
"Why do you say that?"
'Cause it's my line!
Secret Agent Estee Lauder!
In Easy Spirit pumps!
A specific ocean? Which one? Be more PACIFIC!
"I want children..."
Open mouth, insert foot.
This must be the symbolic cinematic love scene
Fire first battery! Fire second battery! Fire screen writer!
Well here we are at Dr. Klutzy Von Doorknob's place.
Fitting room 4 is open, sir!
Look! New underwear! Fruit of the Loom!
I'm weird and that results in creativity!
"I believe she had swallowed some sort of lethal capsule."
...that wiggled, and wriggled and triggered inside her.
(A lovely tribute to There Was An Old Woman Who Swallowed a Fly)
Hey, she's been kidnapped by the Partridge family!
Somebody else say yes sir.
Muha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa!...meow.
Not another bank turn!!!
I said dry toast.
"A clever hiding place!" "Until spring hits."
*gasp* Evil Good Humor Men!
And you'll be hot, hot, hot with the latest talking lipstick fashions from Paris.
This is only a test. Had this been an actual movie...
I'm not too proud of this, just print my name small.
Featuring our all-vegetarian dishes! Hitaki, teriyaki, and Naoko Kobo!
"I know it sounds strange" but I think I'm a zebra!
Slow dance and don't try to lead. I've got a gun.
I for one actually feel like I've just got done listening to two hours of Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music.
You try it, I'm bitter!
They hate these cans!!
Hey, it's Ice Station Zebra! And look, Howard Hughes is in his drawstring shorts and he's got a Mason jar filled...
Oh you guys don't have a Paul Klee painting!
Yeah, yeah, we all live in a yellow submarine, we know.
Ah, Tet. My favorite holiday, you know.
They Sound Like Horses, Don't They?
Wow! It's the island of Miles Davis!
Japanese Calvin and Hobbes!
"Look at my warts! I had to be evil!"
"We've been smoking Lebanese Blonde and we're flying right now!"
"You! Put on your diving suit and meet me in my cabin!"
"We've replaced the Pacific Ocean with Folger's Crystals™. Let's watch!"
"It's Teo Macero!"
"'Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came down from the stairwell...' This book is awful."
"Oh, and Sabrina, you pose as a scientist. And wear that string bikini we got you."
"The story of a brave pancake! Starring Aunt Jemima and Flap The Wonder Dog!"
"YOU DIE, BAZOOKA JOE!"
"See you on the other side, Flopsy."
"No way. I have eight more lives, Dickweed!"
Oh man, look at the appendix scar! Who's the body double? Jack Klugman?
They're using every toy in the box!
Meanwhile, back on the 'Greasy Bastard' ...
The "A's" are much too high sir!
Kato! Look out!
How are we on the 'About this Big' meter?
Meow? Shut up.
Meanwhile at the movie's biggest phallic symbol...
"This is a really wonderful painting; she has such mysterious eye." Actually it's my father.
He's either Kieth Richards or he's dead.
I am a lineman for the starfleet...!
Ice Ice Baby?
Rolling papers... I'll roll us a doob, you put on some Allman Bros.
She is a lean mean lime green fighting machine!
Nothing compares to Q.
She won't get very far on those cheap pumps.
"They might be monitoring it." They might be giants.
We'll make you a movie that's long and immense, way, hay, slow the plot down, just give us a script that makes no friggen sense, we'll try so hard to slow the plot down.
"Up there, the roof!" Up yours, you goof!
heh heh ...it's a one-hitter, woo hoo!
You know, this really isn't a very good movie.
He died as he lived: loving his work.
We'd like to welcome you to "Collateral Damage Playhouse"
Wow! Is he smart!
Hey, it's JFK!
Oh, my aching imperialist dogs!
How are we on the 'about this big' meter?
Oh, and that attachment for the hard-to-reach assassinations...
If I'm not mistaken, I should have a rabbit over there at least!
That either smells like bad meat OR good cheese
Toy boat. Toy boat. Toy boat.
Way, hey, slooow the plot down~
Oh man! You need Dr. Scholl's, it either smells like bad meat or good cheese!
Oh great, the instructions are in Japanese...
"But there's one thing that bothers me, sir." My Sgt. Pepper outfit.
Why is my internal voice different than my external voice? Inside I'm tan and handsome. Outside I'm the Grinch who stole Christmas.
You can always tell it's a Japanese net; it's filled with dolphins!
Button? Button? I've got the button!