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321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians



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231 laughs

Comments (103) Best Riffs (217)

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I do love Frank's wrapping paper, featuring silhouettes of Joel and the bots. I wish they actually sold that.


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Whoa, the ending of this episode is dark. We go through the whole thing with a goofy kids' movie and the SoL crew full of Christmas cheer, and we end with Dr. F. giving Frank a book, which he says was purchased by selling Frank's blood. The book? Final Exit, an instruction manual for the terminally ill on how to commit suicide.


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There's no way they could be following us! We're invisible! And there's no possible way they could know where we Martians are headed.


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Jordan Carpenter - about 1 month ago

You know, real talk: The actor who plays Kimar is able to wrest himself a decent amount of dignity, despite everything. Even surrounded by all the nonsense, I totally believe that he is a stalwart leader who wants best for the children of Mars. I mean it! The guy deserves credit.


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gates69 - 2 months ago

First episode I ever recorded back in the day. Still one of the funniest shows on tv.


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Matthew Boyle - 5 months ago

Why is this called Santa Claus conquers the martians?


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Kelly Slane - 5 months ago

OK, so GIRmar is the GIRL martian, BOmar is BOY martian, and we have MOmar for the MOM martian. And yet father is KImar? Where did that come from? I know the rest of the martians have ridiculous names, but the family had a pattern going.


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Micah Philson - 12 months ago

Is it just me or does Dropo seem to be trying WAY too hard to do Don Knotts?


1 laugh

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deadfight - 12 months ago

This was the last episode I hadn't seen. I just Plain forgot I hadn't seen it, and now that I can't see another episode for the first time I am overcome with sadness.

I wish I had selective amnesia for mst3k.


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Robert Brown - about 1 year ago

If there is a perfect example of Rifftrax' tagline "some movies have it coming" then it has to be SCCtM. I loathe this crass, cynical, pandering midden heap of pedantic demogoguery in a way I do not despise any other movie given the treatment on MST. It has been years since I watched it last because it causes me pain. As trenchant as they are, they could have--and should have--set to with even more savage commentary. It's a highlight despite my squeamishness. I'm glad I watched it again. Now I have to listen to Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music to scrub my mind clean as a whistle.

This ep also features one of the best letters they ever read on the air. It is clever and witty, and very much in the spirit of the show.


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Jane Sproul - about 1 year ago

Can I just say that I actually like their escape from the airlock? Damn straight Santa can get through any vent or chimney, however small.


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Last year on Christmas Eve, there were 80 people watching this ep. This year, it's 168. This fills me with wonderful, glorious hope for the future of mankind.


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Diane - aka Starbreeze - about 1 year ago

When we hear sleigh bells ring
Our hearts go ding-a-ling...


What my school did to me one Christmas
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Diane - aka Starbreeze - about 1 year ago

I just wanted to tell you guys my traumatic history with this movie. When I was a child, like elementary school, they told us there would be a special Christmas movie in the auditorium after school. Basically they charged us a quarter to watch this very movie and ten cent for popcorn! I think the kids watched it for maybe ten to fifteen minutes before every kid in the place was talking to their friends instead of watching the movie. At the time I thought the movie would NEVER end. That was the first time I ever saw this one. The scars of that memory has stuck with me all these years.
Then maybe 8 to ten years ago our local cable company played it for 24 hours in a row and my youngest son immediately fell in love with how ridiculous and terrible the whole thing was and asked for it for Christmas.
For quite a while I always thought one of these martians was Jamie Far. I guess I was mistaken. Although the silly martian looks a little like him.
I just wanted to say thought that MST3K has helped me over the traumas of a small child and makes it a so much more watchable!
Merry Christmas Guys!


2 laughs

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SirenR - about 1 year ago

Anyone else seen the T-Mobile commercial with the "Hooray for Santi Claus" song in it? lol!


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Andrew Wyeth's Pink Boy - about 1 year ago

So we detect their spacecraft over radar, contact the Russians to question their involvement, ready and deploy SAC forces, notify the local news who broadcast the story... THEN the Martians detect our radar is bouncing off their ship... and Voldar criticizes us that it "took long enough"?!


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David Busch - about 1 year ago

What's he gonna do...pull the distributer cap off?


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David Busch - about 1 year ago

Pack your other mustache!


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David Busch - about 1 year ago

John Call is Santa Claus in...'Oh, Little Town Of Deathlehem!


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Bruce Box-Liker - about 1 year ago

I've seen this riffed by MST3K, Cinematic Titanic, and RiffTrax, and not one of them jumps on the fact that Andy asks "Is it true that there's a rumor that you're using a rocket-powered sleigh?"

Also, did anyone else notice that Girmar responds to "Bomar" and Bomar responds to "Girmar" when their father greets them for the first time?


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Brian Heath - over 1 year ago

I laughed so hard I literally shot Faygo Red Pop out my nose!


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Jessica Benjamin - over 1 year ago

custume designer? Where can i get that job? ranks right up there with tenperature


4 laughs

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Jane Hill - over 1 year ago

Cripes! It's July and I'm singing "Hurray for Santee Klaws"....help me....


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RunsWithScissors95 - over 1 year ago

I love how Tom's head is a snow globe :)


6 laughs

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John Smith - over 1 year ago

Totally plausible that a 9 year old boy would know how to sabotage extra terrestrial electronic equipment.


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Scott Hume - about 2 years ago

Just saw the Rifftrax presentation of this in the theater with Mike, Kevin, and Bill. Thanks for keeping the laughs going, guys.


5 laughs

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David Longworth - about 2 years ago

This and a wish for wings that work (the only bloom county short) are my FAVORITE Christmas movies!! How is "Patrick Swayze Christmas"not a standard??


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Andrew Jones - about 2 years ago

One thing I noticed from the Rifftrax treatment of this film is that the MST3K version cut a lot, the full film takes itself even more seriously and is even more dull.


10 laughs

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Stereo Catz - about 2 years ago

Mars is supposed to be this bleak, draconian place, yet they have ice-cream and tickle-rays.


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Kiri T. Unicorn - about 2 years ago

Gypsy: "I want a pony." ---X D~


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Thomas Dickensheets - about 2 years ago

Tom: And she takes about battles!


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Thomas Dickensheets - about 2 years ago

Crow: A new G.I. Joe?


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Thomas Dickensheets - about 2 years ago

Tom: What you smoking Santa?


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Thomas Dickensheets - about 2 years ago

Crow: Kids watch too much TV!


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Thomas Dickensheets - about 2 years ago

Tom: Stop this movie!


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Patrick Wiley - about 2 years ago

just came to town to riff this flick


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffed Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffed Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffed Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Vince Giangiacomo - about 2 years ago

For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


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Mike Scarlett - about 2 years ago

Rob Schneider is...Dropo!


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Patrick Swayze Christmas - about 2 years ago

When the Martian's come to Earth and come upon the little kids...the Kids go "Who...Who are you?" and yet no Who Riffs...I'm surprised they missed that one!


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Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 2 years ago

I don't know why, but I love this ep! Especially how Frank flips the boxes as he throws them through the machine. :)


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Glenn Wobick - over 2 years ago

Looks like when she thinks of the mass media, she touches herself.


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Aaron Kuehmichel - over 2 years ago

Is anyone else here psyched about the upcoming live RiffTrax of this? I can't wait!


3 laughs

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Dereck LeRoy - over 2 years ago

WTF? So If the Martian was going to blow them out of the airlock, they would have just depressurized the whole ship because of that little "air tube" in the corner they climbed up? For people who have mastered interstellar travel, they sure know nothing of air pressure...


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Michael S - over 2 years ago

So while pointing a huge "ray gun" at their heads, they tell them 'don't be afraid'... makes perfect sense to me...


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Michael S - over 2 years ago

Tom Servo with a SNOW GLOBE!!! YES!!!


5 laughs

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Vince Giangiacomo - over 2 years ago

A judge on Thursday 9/12/13 ordered singer-actress Pia Zadora to complete alcohol and impulse control counseling.


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Iris - over 2 years ago

I can't help but feel embarrassed for the poor actors playing the Martians. You've got to be pretty desperate for work to wear those costumes.


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Bruce Ellsworth Reed - over 2 years ago

I hate to say it, but I like this movie!


6 laughs

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Paul Trieglaff - over 2 years ago

The three GREATEST opening theme songs of all time:
1: Believe it or Not (Greatest American Hero)
2: SOL Theme (MST3K)
3: Suicide is Painless (M*A*S*H*)
I swear to the Holiest of Gods if someone replies to this post adding "Friends", I will lose faith in humanity...


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Elisa Farrington - over 2 years ago

I can't believe they were using Whammo Air Blasters for Martian weapons! We had one (it's still at my parent's house) and I can still remember the picture of the ape printed on the plastic fringe that served as a target.


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Shawn Amkr Dickinson - over 2 years ago

I love franks Noooooo!


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Shawn Amkr Dickinson - over 2 years ago

"I want to decide who lives and who dies" Crow "oh.......I don't know" - Joel. Hahaaa


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Shawn Amkr Dickinson - over 2 years ago

Has this been released on DVD in the us (or is it in an out of print rhino set?) I'd imagine Cinematic Titanic now has the rights to it, but I think it's in the public domain so it wouldn't matter. Its such a classic episode to me, it's shame not to have the MST3K version in print on DVD (Shout! Factory - get on it that! Hell make it a single dvd like hamlet - I dont care haha Ill still cop it)


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Fredrick Stafford - over 2 years ago

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!

Occupies Mars and rebuilds their industrial base at enormous expense and returns Mars to self rule; Martians then build better quality toys and deliver them more cost effectively than Santa Claus! Elf Union outraged!


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Bruce Box-Liker - over 2 years ago

Bomar claims to be ten years old, which makes him approximately eighteen in Earth years.


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Kelly Slane - over 2 years ago

You know, in the opening segment they cost the "furry little surrey" at $5,900 from Neiman Marcus, and for a long time I laughed at the exaggeration... Until I stepped into a Neiman Marcus and saw their prices...


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Claudette Poirier - over 2 years ago

It is a good thing that the Martians had such a great grasp of the English language; otherwise, we would all be speaking Martian now.


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starman 76 - almost 3 years ago

like most children's films, this movie is a nightmare! if I had seen this flick as a kid I would have run screaming from the theater and had nightmares for weeks! still, the SOL skits have just the right amount of holiday cheer (the one with Gypsy's mouth nativity in particular is very sweet)


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James Perez - almost 3 years ago

Is it me, or does the Gizmonic Institute logo look like the Subspace symbol from Super Smash Bros. Brawl?


4 laughs

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ICEyun - almost 3 years ago

Re-uploaded and updated episode link! Like always, enjoy, MSTies! =)


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Lewis Nitzberg STINKS! - almost 3 years ago

My friends and I riffed this way before we knew about MST3k. Then I found out it was riffed and *had* to watch it - much better than we could did of course!


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Cindy - almost 3 years ago

Oh, I just stumbled onto something else! I'll be able to compare the two myself! LOL! Is the Cinematic Titanic DVD of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" the reason why the MST3K version was blasted off of Youtube?


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Cindy - almost 3 years ago

How does the Cinematic Titanic version compare to the MST3K version? I, uh, stumbled on something that's downloading right now...


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Cindy - about 3 years ago

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been out of copyright for years. What gives, Yahoo?


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eric hickman - about 3 years ago

Taken off because of copyright claim...bah humbug!!!


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Kaity Gaeta - about 3 years ago

Word of the day: curmudgeony.


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Super McWonderfull - about 3 years ago

This is a perfect MST3K movie. So many quotable lines and so many Santa clauses..... I would suggest this for a first time viewer....


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Darius Hejazimanesh - about 3 years ago

Santa Claus can be our new Saturday night thing!!! Merry Patrick Swayze Christmas to all MSTies coast to coast.


4 laughs

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Thomas Hogan - about 3 years ago

Laugh if your watching this on Christmas!


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Scooter Atreides - about 3 years ago

This one is also a good example of why MST3K has such a strong fan base despite being cancelled over 20 years ago: You can re-visit certain episodes again and again and continue to unearth the meanings behind the more obscure riffs as you grow in knowledge.

When I first saw this one at 13, I had no clue why the idea that someone bought Pia Zadora a Golden Globe was funny.....It was only recently, after reading a book by film critic Richard Roeper, that I learned about the scandal behind the 1980 Golden Globes--and the highly dubious nature of the award Zadora "won" for Best New Talent for her performance in the reportedly godawful box-office flop Butterfly.

I guess my point is keep watching: The joke that flies right over your head today might make you laugh your ass off in 10 years ;)


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Scooter Atreides - about 3 years ago

This and Manos are pretty much the only 2 episodes I haven't watched at the Club...Because they're the only 2 episodes I own (Rhino Video's "The Essentials" 2 disc DVD set--with bonus "Poopie" reel)
But it's Christmas....and I've already watched Santa Claus 3 or 4 times since November 1st....So rather than watching the DVD again I figured I'd come here and see it with the "family" ;)

Merry Christmas.....Richard Baseheart bless us, everyone!


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B - about 3 years ago

Hope all you other folks watching this tonight are having a very Patrick Swayze Christmas/a Christmas that totally rules/a Christmas that kicks ass/a Christmas that isn't that bad!


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Stereo Catz - about 3 years ago

So at the end the martian just let a 1700 year old Greek bishop and two children fly an interplanetary spacecraft back to Earth?


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Stereo Catz - about 3 years ago

Wernher Von Greene... subtle.


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Stereo Catz - about 3 years ago

I like how the little girl was more concerned about the martian's antennas that the assault weapons they were pointing at her face.


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Stereo Catz - about 3 years ago

12:05 I'd hate to meet a creature like Batman on a "Dark Knight". Thank you!


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Bruce Box-Liker - about 3 years ago

For a planet of people who apparently have a single, strict dress code, it really takes the Martians a long time to wrap their heads around the multiple Santas.


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Dave Shumaker - about 3 years ago

MST3K's work was left undone... so many more movies need their treatment. This was the perfect way to get into the Christmas Spirit! Thanks for posting :) Love the Coca-Cola stunt polar bear LOL


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Tristan Moyer - over 3 years ago

Bring your other Mustache


4 laughs

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Becky Walker - over 3 years ago

I love how Tom Servo makes a Dr. Who reference to the spaceship being like a tardis as the martians start climbing down the ladder.


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Kelly Slane - over 3 years ago

I love the easy bake foundry :)


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Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 3 years ago

Is it just me or does the main Martian guy look kinda like Steven Colbert?


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Sage Harpuia - over 3 years ago

I love how Tom's head is a snow globe.


5 laughs

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Rachel Adams - over 3 years ago

What's with the kids sleeping in the park in December, listening to the news broadcast?


3 laughs

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Rachel Adams - over 3 years ago

I've got a secret crush on Voldar.


8 laughs

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Em Parker - over 3 years ago

I love that Tom's head is a snow globe.


3 laughs

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Matt Phillips - over 3 years ago

Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas MP3 download:
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?duwmzozx5x38mb2


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Rachel Adams - almost 4 years ago

Headbutt.


6 laughs

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Rachel Adams - almost 4 years ago

Dropo makes me uncomfortable. He strikes me as a man on the edge of his sanity in real life.


1 laugh

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Alissa Hoffman - almost 4 years ago

added a full movie. it's link 2


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DeaDGoD (John Rogers) - almost 4 years ago

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaR0qM7JE

Since we can't upload parts, this is a link to part one of five


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Eric Weiss - almost 4 years ago

This Movie has been removed by the User. Viewed Mar. 22 2012


3 laughs

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Peakpasha - almost 4 years ago

The Mads' invention is particularly evil.


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Elel - almost 4 years ago

Ah, what would Christmas be without a tree, egg nog, the love of family and friends, and a viewing of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians? There's so much to love in this movie, including a polar bear with a huge zipper down its back.


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bob - about 4 years ago

It's fine in the USA