321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
♪ ♫ "Hang out in leather bars/Haul out the cocktail sauce..." ♫ ♪
"Kids, this is Hell."
"What, no head-butt this morning? Honeymoon over?"
"I sure hope that's pudding."
"February '69. I was stationed in Phnom Penh. Charlie had us pinned down their way..."
"All of a sudden this is To Build A Fire."
"And now, for your enjoyment, some suggestive scenes of jets refueling."
"Uh, polka dots and moonbeams, Sir."
"Uh, yeah... So what's in the pipe, Santa?"
"Oh, man. This is really, really cheap animation. Clutch Cargo was better than this!"
Oil can! Oil can!
I think the coast is... *THOONK* Oh no! His head must have gone about 75 feet!
All done in there? Why do you think they call him Droppo?
Oh, he's fighting the cameraman now!
I don't suppose there's any chance this guy's uhh ...gonna end up under the wheels of a train, is there?
This appears to be a day when everything is vanishing into thin air...
including a few frames of the film!
Oooh, Maynard Ferguson playing a ballad there...
His name is B.F. Skinner, he's going to put you kids in a box!
SERVO: " I want those kids dead, I want Santa's house burned to the ground."
CROW: "Hey look their ship runs on a SIMON game"
"Earth has had Santa Claus long enough, we will bring him to Mars."
"Santa's a blade man, man!"
Will you buy me a Golden Globe, then?
I vas innocent, I vas only following orders... Oh.
"Destroy them Torg, Crush them!" You-were-adopted.
"I'm cold." And unfeeling.
"We're going out the old fashioned way." Guns-a-blazin'.
I had jell-o today.
The store room? Wait a minute, he's on a collision course with wackyness!
How many Droppos does it take to change a light bulb?
Ha ha ha Santa left his medication at home!
Now what would Macgyver do?
Next week on Barnaby Jones - Mrs. Claus of death.
Ahhh Mr. Claus, you have a nasty habit of surviving...
Nice take to the camera, thank you!
Nice ash can!
Follow my lead, Billy, I'm packing heat.
"I've got something for you, Billy!" And it's ticking.
"Malted milk! Chocolate cake!" Bennies! Dexies! EX...
What is it? Uh, it's a guy in a cardboard box with a coffee urn on his head...
Old man, take a look at my elf- I'm a lot like you...
Meanwhile, at Oscar Wilde's house...
Quick! In here were we can be cornered!
Ringworm! Crank Case! Lube Job!
"All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit." Truman Capote?
And then a large-scale bowling pin is put into use.
"It is the middle of Septober"
-Oh! Time for Septoberfest!
"Drop 'em, Droppo!"
"Dear Hair Club For Men: I need help, big time. Would you consider --"
"Gentlemen, we can't all be the Honey Nut Cheerios honeybee."
"Look, you're breakin' my heart, Gramps. COULD YOU GET ON WITH IT!?"
"...but the kids know their names." Yeah, because they're sober.
"Tonight I'm a space pirate permission to come aboard!" "Whoo-hoo"
Whoa-ho it smells like a monkey house in here!
Hi kids this is Andy Henderson at the North Pole. "Oh no your not your Rip Taylor!"
(whispering) "Union meeting tonight pass it on."
"Oh balderdash and a fiddle-dee-dee!" Woah, LANGUAGE, Santa, LANGUAGE!
Oscar Wilde 2000
Oh he's just being obtuse.
Custume designer? Custume?
No one expects the Spanish Inquisition!
Good morning! Good morning!
Meanwhile, back at the Gum Disease Caverns...
you were adopted
especially Twin Peaks
Why they spell S-A-N-T-A and sing Santy?
"Pills for dinner? What are we, Judy Garland?"
"Get the HELL out of my shop!"
"Buttery, sweet toaster dolls!"
"No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians!" ...do you realize what you just said??
Not since the pie fight scene in "The Great Race"! Not since the mudslide scene in "McLintock"! Not since the wagon train scene in "The Halleluja Trail"! Not since the chess playing scene in "The Seventh Seal"! Not since the orgy scene in "Caligula"!
You know, elf tastes just like chicken.
"I'm not tired....but my finger is!" "OH SANTA NO IT'S CHRISTMAS!"
"Pack your other mustache"
"Diarrhea is like a storm raging inside of you."
Santa, you're just about as funny as a train wreck
"The Soviet Union denies they have launched any such satellite" -Like they could afford to
Um, Hello? Mars to Chochum?
I LOVE you!
It'll never WORK!
AND THE REINDEER--OH THE REINDEER!!!--keep floating like holiday floats and in turn exploding in a hail of blood and entrails! Prancer: BOOM! Dancer: BOOM!
Santa Claus: killed in Vietnam
"From this spot there's only one direction you can go..." To Hell.
When she thinks of the mass media, she touches herself
Smoking is good for you, Ho Ho Ho!