408 - Hercules Unchained
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"Hobbes, get offa' me!"
"Oh, for the clarity of Mighty Jack."
"Okay, who's got a clue about the plot? Anyone? Bob? Rick? Ted, you got the hat. You must know."
"Uh, but... the invitation said 'Orgy To Follow'!"
"It's twue! It's twue!"
"Miss Utah is a Rhodes Scholar who wants world peace and that special someone."
♭ ♬ "Into the woods... Into the wooodsss..." ♬ ♭
"And now, a journey through the lymph nodes."
"You mean 'nymph loads.'"
"No, it's not difficult!"
"He ran out of body grease and he gets all crabby."
"Throw this in the box marked 'Garage Sale'."
"Oh, I know this movie. It's White Men Can't Row."
You are nuttier than an outhouse rat!
This is the Fountain of Dorkiness.
Hey, wait a minute. Her skin has a zipper.
Rats, I can't bend it. Guess I have to stay here with all the nymphs.
Is the horse talking?
Why do you keep calling me Hercules? You know my name's "Todd"...
I'll show you what a boy can do. I can fly!
"He'll throw her to the tigers." Or the Euphrates. Doesn't make much difference.
What ISN'T an aphrodisiac for her?!
He's putting a car cover on a horse?
"Uh, honey. About all that oinkin' and boinkin' I did on the island? Well, uh, it was nothin'."
"You killed my dad, you freaked out maniac!"
It's like a cheap Temple of Doom set!
To thine own self be true! Oh, watch out for that curve - AHHHHHH!
"So what's on the slate today, eatin' and lovin' now?"
"Hey this is not my beautiful house, this is not my beautiful wife, how did I get here?"
"I just love ITALIAN BEEF."
"I was just going to the bathroom, talk about abandonment issues."
"Bend it! If you can't, you'll convince me!" If you can, you're Yuri Geller.
You know what they say- you can only rent waters of forgetfulness!
I've forgotten everything, but I can't seem to get 'Afternoon Delight' out of my mind.
Well, we must be there, the music's dying down...
Argives! What are they doing in Attica? A nickle.
This is the end of the Story of Forgetfulness: Those who watch of it shall die of boredom!
I look like Lucy!
No, I look like Lucy!
When Kennedys ruled Greece!
"Wait! But I'm smart, and funny and... ah, they never pick the old guy."
"I was just going to the bathroom. Talk about abandonment issues."
"I'm glad you think I'm a deaf mute -- oh, nuts!"
"He makes Andre the Giant look like Paul Newman."
Two words, French Doors.
Hi we're I-X-I-I. Somebody call I-X-I-I?
"I look like Lucy!" "No I look like Lucy!"
Hercules couldn't perform." "Shut up about that." "Because he's using steroids." "I am not."
"I'm tied to the mast."
Hercules in bondage
This is the carrot shake of pretentiousness. Those who drink of it will join theater companies.
"Its a fine one!" -Mister Grinch...
"Look, I'm hungry" Uhh, Listen, its cold...
Next week on Alias Hercules and Ulysses...
"Hey, this water's warm here. HERC!"
"Geez, he's turning into Harpo."
"Hey, Ulysses! Hercules drank from the Fountain of Forgetfulness! Pass it on, bye! Gotta go! See ya."
"They're tailgating ahead, must be a Packer game."
"Frankie Avalon in Slave Ship Bingo."
"Long, longer, longest."
The broom people bristling with anger!
I don't get it.
You've been lifting. What's your max?
Rats, I can't bend it. Guess I'll have to stay here with all the nymphs.
Is there a hooorrrse heaven that you knooow of?
"I feel so anxious when I don't hear!" -We should have at least gotten a pigeon by now
"Come sit beside me."
-Move your big ol' leg
Ulysses! It's The Waters of Forgetfulness! Now his chest won't remember a thing!
"Thebes is my city..." -And we built this city on Rock and Roll!
"These pigeons will always fly back to Ithaca no mater where you release them." -What if you release them in Ithaca?
If you think he's long, try me: Longest.
Hercules is the nice lady's live-in dentist.
Hey guys, bad news, the captain wants to water ski.
The night was made for love...and michelob.
Did somebody here dial ix-i-i?
"It's rainin' men!! Hallelujah, it's rainin' men!"
oops, there's a little bird poopie on your back...