409 - The Indestructible Man
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
This whole coming back from the dead isn't so bad after all.
By the way, was that your car out front?
Joel: I, state your name,
Tom and Crow: I, state your name,
Darn fool indestructible kid.
"That made me think of one important question." -- Who built Stonehenge?
"If he's scared enough, that might work, but if it doesn't..." -- We're screwed, blue and tattooed.
It's Aunt Bee after dark...
Well, done and done. Killed two birds with one stone.
(Spinal Tap voice) You see, it goes all the way to eleven.
"Sweeny Ellis didn't seem happy over the Butcher's threat."
(Bullwinkle voice) I'm not happy with the Butcher's threat.
Loading Richard Basehart remark. Richard Basehart in 5, 4, 3, 2 Richard Basehart now.
...they were dealing with a maniac.
Who 's dancing like he's never danced before.
Joel, it's okay, honey. It's okay. It's okay.
(Sweet role reversal when the bots comfort Joel )
Relax? You relax. I'm dead!
Gee, the sailor's favorite.
Come on guys, let's go get greased..big time!
Hey check this out; when I let go of the steering wheel it pulls to the left. Isn't that something?
"Ladies and Gentlemen, it's Liza!"
"I know where they are now... They're in Karen Finley's wet bar!"
"Wow. Everyone's so touchy at the scene of a death."
"Hey, look. John D. Rockefeller saves at K-Mart™."
"I may be indestructible, but I still hurt inside!" [sob]
"He just invented the Lite-Brite™!"
"Well, let's see here: 'GWM seeks leatherman for--' Oh."
"Enough TV for you two. Now get outside and play!"
"Open the gate and make some Summer Sausage, quick!"
"You may remember him from the Cracker Jack™'s box. They opened him up and found a prize inside."
Lab boys are delicious!
"You see, it goes all the way to 11" - gotta love the Spinal Tap riffs!
"Hey! Don't get physical!"
Let me hear your body talk.
I wish she'd blink.
He's indestructible but he needs a light wrap.
OH PLEASE! He should quit his job ... strippers make a lot more money.
Can i tuck a dollar in your G-string?
Y'know, I'd rather light a single Indestructible Man than curse the darkness...
He's the other end of a Bob Newhart routine...
Sarah, get me Mt. Pilot...
Scream all you want - but take all you scream...
Thank you Shoeshine - you're humble and lovable!
If you were indestructible, you'd be home by now...
- Ben Hur!
- Ben Hecht!
- Charles MacArthur... Jimmy Smits...
Remember when I got ahead of myself a while back? Well, we're at that scene, now.
I feel the earth move under my feet....ugh.
Geez, I hate Howard Stern.
Who is Detective Division?!?
'Indestructible Man' "The Dick Clark Story on ABC"
Here, wash and wax this!
'The Man who would be Queen'
It's the Quad Cities
♫ Hold me closer Tiny Sailor ♫
Now there watching 'North by Northwest'
Oh, Mother Superior jumped the gun.
Check out the narcoleptic. Pssst...hey! Buddy! hey...wake up!
Line: "I ran outta dough." Riff: "I was going to make cookies!"
You know, maybe he wasn't the title character. Maybe somebody else is the Indestructible Man.
Do they all have to touch each other when they talk?
He had been successful with laboratory animals.
Who hasn't ?
Hey, you kids. Come in here with my pillow cases.
Known for his anthologies...Professor Norton that is.
That's his mother?
Oh, great, water heaters that install themselves. Love it.
But first get junior samples.
What is this? Their yearbook?
Parents' Day at Attica.
Oh hey, it's the treasure of Sewer Madre!!!
Can we break open your hat now and eat the popcorn?
oh pardon me Tom "I've gotta take an indestructible whizz Turbo"
No!!!! Not her life story!!!! Please!!!
Old Man Liver....
Vy Russell in flight! Afternoon delight!!!!
I'm just gonna keep telling myself, "I'm indestructible! I'm indestructible!"
Have you seen such people before?
♫ Craaaazy... Toys in the attic! He is craaazy!♫
You speak in riddles, Sahib!
...what are they waiting for, a putty knife?
Hey I'm in here! Hey! Use the down stairs! Hey!
Open the back door! He can't stop!
All I got was some jujubes and a crummy popcorn ball.
"A guy named Squeamy got thrown from the 5th floor."
Now they call him Squishy.
"Operator, get me Police Headquarters!"
Why should I? What's in it for me?
Think of all the burritos they eat in this town.
"Would you come here, pleeeeeeease? Gadding about like a crazy person."
"You mean Squeamy Ellis?"
"How many Squeamies do you know?"
Ooh, Mother Superior jumped the gun!
that's MISTER stinkin' rotten mouthpiece to you...
Billy looks like William Frawley.
I think he's incontinent man now.
"Sirens of Titan, huh?" "Kurt Vonnegut..."
"I'm singin' in the filth, just singin' in the filth..."
"Where's the men's room?"
"You're soaking in it."
"Packed with minerals, booze really satisfies."
"Can I lick the glass?"
Big typewriters were brought in, and people were fed into them.
The American Pepper Association invites you to try pepper as a side dish.
He always offers me beef.
It's parents day at Attica!
Hold me closer, tiny sailor.
-Gumby, get off the tower.
-Top o' the world Pokey!
Hey look, there's a perfectly good cabbage over there.
Sure wish I had some shoes on.
Hair by Shemp Howard.
Gee, what happened to her voice!?
Your total is $4.35, please pull ahead.
'Be quiet' he tells him?
Walter Winchell’s hiding behind the curtain.
Boy that burlesque house sure puts on a good brunch.
Which one's in jail?
Ok for all practical purposes... ALMOST indestructible man.
Packed with minerals, booze really satisfies.
Yeah he's indestructible but he needs a light wrap.
It's David Mamet's annotation of the Lockhorns!
"You know something Dick. I haven't had a hamburger in the front seat of an automobile with a guy in a lot of years." You're a cheap jerk!
You bent my needle you freaked out maniac!
Hey look it's the three horsem-- no the four horsemen-- no the SEVERAL horsemen of the apocalypse.
"Who in their right mind would believe a man had returned from the dead?" Only millions of Christians.
Up on Cripple Creek, it sends me. If I spring a leak ... Whoa ! Foot don't fail me now !
Oh, he's gonna do that Crazy Glue demonstration.
I'm the scariest clown in the circus!
Check out the narcoleptic.
Blink! Please blink!
Now I am going to rearrange his filing system. Ha ha ha!
"Some guys have all the luck." Some guys have all the pain.
"We found a notebook in Marshall's lab." - It said 'AAAAHHHHH!!!!'
Hall of Justice, over 1 million served!
Lie Detector by Mattel.
Oh pardon me, Tom "I've gotta take an indestructible whiz" Servo!
Uhhh, whose woods these.... I think know... uhh.....
I guess I'll climb into this Metallica video.
Boy, that burlesque house puts on a good brunch.
Hi - key - baa-----
Can we break your hat open now and eat the popcorn ?
Huh, Wall Drug, 2,300 miles!
Senor Wences lives!
It's Jim Henson's "Birth of a Nation" babies!
How the cock-a-doody did they get off the cliff?!?!?!
"You wanted me, Captain?" For yeeeeeaars.
The man who would be queen.
"He figured, once a dead man, always a dead man." -hmm, smart
"He replaced it with a 50 dollar bill" -and a pork chop.
Look, it's 9 AM and I'm dressed like this: leave me alone!
"I'm gonna get ya, all three of ya." -Wait, there's only one of me...
"I got a different idea: I'm gonna kill you, Sweeny and Joe, then I'll take care of Eva myself." -hmm, neat.
Hi, I saw your sister outside- you know the quiet one?
Mr. Wallenda! Don't let your family attempt the pyramid!
Hey, this is kinda like "Macbeth" -- only it's not good at all!
Actually, now I think he's just the Incredibly Resilient Man!
-Think of the doughnuts I can buy with this!
-You want to hit him, or should I?
Oh, I think I just found the legendary Goldfish Graveyard!
Y'know, this is kinda like the Close Encounters Of The Turd Kind!
Hey, found half a doughnut! Who wants it?
APB! Big sale at Winchell's!
OK, everybody, gather 'round, lots to see, show's just startin'!
Ohh, he didn't come out of his tuck in time!
Hey, could you imagine a big indestructible snag off this thing?
Stop, or the foley artist will shoot!
Oh, no! He just killed Rescusi-Annie!
-Clang, clang, clang went the trolley...
-Plod, plod, plod went the plot!
This has all the suspense of a Brian DePalma version of a Hitchcock movie!
Hey, Lon! Could you pretend you've got the D.T.'s?
See there, look. Get it? No "ow"!
They're doin' Camelot across the lot!
Wait, who's ordering the specialty doughnuts?
Honk if you're indestructible!
Be on the lookout for doughnuts! APB for doughnuts!
I gotta take a big indestructible whiz!
It's like a criminal temp agency!
Lemme get this straight... so every table has a bottle of Old Smuggler on it?
Hey, have you no sense of decency? Will you please END THIS SCENE??
"Do you have a first name?"
'And I'll tell you something else-' NNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
Walter Winchell's hiding behind the curtain.
What is this, their yearbook?
Aunt Bee after dark!
"Who in their right mind would believe a man came back from the dead?" "Uh, millions of Christians."
GE: We bring Lon Chaney to life!
It sounds like the soundtrack is drunk.
No one will be seated during the frightening letter folding scene.
Diana, a go-getting newspaper. I wonder what she fetches?
Hey, it's the Undersea Kingdom, for you and for me, where the men are in dresses...
Red rover, red rover, let B. Reeves Eason come over!