410 - Hercules Against the Moon Men
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
You've been gonged!
Alan Steel is Steve Allen's pen name.
Hey, I'm no Rhodes Scholar, but I have a real knack for this sort of thing. I'm glad I chose kickin' butt as a career.
Well, the Jiffy Pop's done.
And I don't care.
This is kind of like seeing bad performance art.
Oh, like seeing performance art, in other words.
It's the shiny little hiney with the fringe on the top!
"Hercules is alive. He escaped from the trap you set for him."
He chewed his leg off.
Quite a spark between those two.
Get your paws off me you damn dirty ape!
CROW : His body makes me feel funny.
Not really very good.
Let's sing, row row row your boat. Row row row your boat.
You guys I think I'm giving in to deep hurting.
Please end this scene, oh please, oh please, oh please.
You know the Mads said this was going to be bad and you know what? THEY'RE RIGHT! THIS SUCK! DAMN YOU!
This is wild. I never killed a guy like this before, neat.
Hey! Come back with my arrow!
Mighty hoof beats and a hearty hi-ho Silver.
Phyllis! It sure isn't you!
Is that his butt?
You told me a fabricated story that wouldn't convince a child!
Jm J Bullock
Marlo Thomas is: That Queen.
My thighs are really rubbing today...
"How could you be such a monster?"
We were never that close.
IT IS BASSOOOOOOON!
"Creating a wasteland."
It really made a mess.
Filmed against the heart muscle.
Steve's more shiny!
- This is your brain on drugs. Any questions?
- As a matter of fact...
This is like the Planet of the 98-Pound Weaklings - everyone gets sand kicked in their face!
- Trog, with Joan Crawford...
- And there she is...
Y'know, the best scenic overlooks are the scenic overlooks that aren't marked as scenic overlooks...
Early Disney employees...
This is taking...kind of...a... HERCULEAN effort for him!
Okay, I'll come back later.
Hey! All these people are foreigners!
"It looks like they're being attacked by Mont Saint-Michel."
"I coulda gone my whole life without seeing THAT."
"You can be one of those tough guys without a tough guy name. You know, like Sylvester Stallone."
"My new name is Drake Tungsten. You have to call me that, too."
"Is that a traveling mat?"
"No, it's a crappy special effect."
"Ha, now Hurc will go to a bar for a few hours then say he couldn't find 'em."
"Get my fast, horse!"
"Could you have a Platonic relationship before Plato?"
"I'm a scientist! I don't think, I observe!"
"Shave your head and work your way north."
"That's a arrow shirt he's wearing."
Then, Prokofiev showed up!
*Agar looks towards the camera shocked*
*gasp* A film crew!
Wow, it looks like she was carved to go on the bow of a ship.
There's gonna be rock climbing!!!
Welcome to the crypt! I've got a bone to pick with you! Hahaha!
This film has aged me.
You know, Herc is just flat against any moon men.
Hi Ho! Hi Ho! It's off to death we go...
Ngis Eivom! Ngis Eivom!
Looks like this movie's equipped with airbags.
Well, time for my Snickers!
Hey, he's got his thong on upside-down.
Sticks and stones, ahahah...
-These are the out-takes from Here to Eternity, I think.
-No, Joel, this is just eternity.
-It's like True Grit.
Oh wait, he can bend steel but he can't break through a net?!?
It's just a flesh wound!
Have fun stormin' the castle!
Hey how long do I have to hide back here?
♪♫ Herculee, Herculaah, Herculee, Herculahahahahaha! ♪♫
Tin soldiers, Nixon coming sold separately.
♫ ♪ "I enjoy...being a guy. Yeah! ♪ ♫
Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Why do I hurt inside? p. 54
When will the stupid movie end? p. 78
How much money can we get out of Tom Cruise? p. 25
Help the bombardier!
I am the bombardier!
Then help him! - Sweet 'Catch 22' reference : )
Hey Herc, James Brolin wants his beard back!
"Have no fear." Underdog is here!
Tom "Aw, this is like a bad Antonioni movie!" Crow "Like an Antonioni movie in other words."
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ooh, ow....
Yeah, now Herc will go to bar for a few hours and say he couldn't find them.
Okay! You're shapely!!
Herc, don't bend over, don't bend over, please don't....
♪ ♫ We will, we will ROCK you...
"I arrived just in time!"
That's a matter of opinion.
I'm a Grimwald warrior!
You're fired! Clean out your dress!
I'm sending you good vibes, Herc! I am!
"Ooh, good thing they made everything out of Balsa wood back then, huh?"
"Hey! ♬ ♫ 'It's the Undersea Kingdom, for you and for me, and it's fun!' ♫ ♬ "
"I give 'em three months."
"Uh, Zeus is on Line 3! You wanna' take it?"
♫ ♪ "Do-si-do with an evil queen..." ♪ ♫
"Looks like she's in Deep 13."
"Then I put in this shag. I got bumper pool in the back. Of course Verna's put up some jams, jellies, and compotes..."
"Uh, I'm writing a spec script for Aristophanes!"
"Not that way, Artoo. You'll be breaking down in no time."
"War comes to The Land of Dairy Queen™!"
Eeeh*Plot point*Eeeh * Plot point*Eeeh*Plot point*
Oh no! Archie just flushed!
Let go, Daddy, that's enough!
Hey, it smells like Gold's Gym in here!
It's a scrum!
No, that would be more like hell....
"My blankie. . ." (One of the best riffs in MST history.)
"I bet that thing is hard to clean."
"His body makes me feel funny."
Whatever you do, don't let him pick you up over his head!
"Dolphins, one of the smartest mammals on Earth. Do they wear pants? No, but they wish they did. That's how smart they are!"
"This man is missing a nipple!"
"Trumpy, you're angry!"
"It looks like they're on a Doctor Who set."
"Oh, it's Hamlet's dad."
"His body makes me feel funny."
"Jim Henson's Exodus Babies"
"No, that would be more like hell!"
Wanna get stoned?
Oh, c'mon, it's just the name of a bird...
"It's Stonehenge On Ice!!!"
Can you have a platonic relationship before Plato?
SAND STORM!SAAAAND STORRRRRM!
WANNA GET STONED?????
EVERYBODY MUST GET STONED
Herc very sleepy, must get shut-eye.
Everybody must get stoned.
"The sacrifice will take place tomorrow night." Bring a dish to pass.
"Samara! Samara!!" I love ya, Samara...
"All I can say is this--" blblblblblblblbllllllggghhh!!
Oh boy, she could really use a Dust Buster!
I think I'm sitting on the saddle horn!
It's a vision of a Mexican wrestler!
Hi-ho Hi-ho It's off to death we go.
Young monster you're going to the orthodontist whether you like it or not!
'I'm an axe-wielding maniac!', 'and he's dancing like he's never danced before'
It's clobberin' time.
This man's missing a nipple.
Uh I think you got a deer tick there.
Super Bob Vila!
Man sounds kinda like Eraserhead "Man made chickens, but their new."
Is that my puddle?
Hey Herc you got hat hair.
Hey I've seen dogs do that on the drive way.
"The last thing he ever said to me was-" Aaaauuurrghhh!!!
Nike: Just film it.
Ah, looks like somebody spilled beer on the film!
It's the Monsters of Rock tour!
BUZZ! "Sara, could you bring us some coffee."
Hercules..."let's have cookies outside!"
Guys, I am SO homesick right now.
Rob Reiner, no!
"I'm going to speak to your sister" -Not in THAT you're not!
I am the button.
Hi, I'm a chocolate bar. Break off bits of me and enjoy me all day.
He's a chest-o-drawers!
Hercu-lee, Hercu-laa, Hercu-lee, Hercu-la ha ha ha ha; Hercu-lee, Hercu-laa, my backpack's filled with pecs!
Guys... I think I'm giving in to DEEEEEEEP HURTINNNGGGG!
Whoa, imagine what it would be like if something were happening!
I'm tellin' ya', when Herc breaks wind, everybody suffers!
It's Stonehenge On Ice!
Sing the praises of pants!
"Pizza, Pizza" my ass! Ha ha ha ha ha!
...and Isaac Hayes wants his vest back!
"Is that a polar bear rug?"
"No, it's his horse!"
"Is that a traveling matte?"
"No, it's a crappy special effect!"
Whoa, Sergei, keep it down, willya?
"Herc, will you help us move?"
"Even if it costs me my life!"
Oh, it's Herc, and he's got the keg!
Looks like this movie's equipped with air bags!
He looks like a loaf of split-top bread, doesn't he?
Oohhhh, Dad's a kebab!
You think it's easy to find skin bronzer in here?
Well, he's strong, bar none... get it..?
OK, I get the hint! I'll bathe more!
Oh, out the back door for The Herc, huh?
How humiliating. She's being killed by a patio.
Why is he laying on a big cupcake wrapper? He's cream-filled.
I'm a scientist. I don't think, I observe
Hey, you got change for an 8 year old?