411 - The Magic Sword
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Meanwhile, on the set of Golden Girls . . .
I'm tired of the whole sordid affair!
You know, this is a lot like 'Romeo and Juliet’...yea, except not good...
"Where did I go wrong?" Well, dyeing your hair orange was a start.
I dub you Sir Moron. Come on, dummy.
I remember it like it was 200 years ago...
Twelve Angry Mimes!
The faces of those he's wronged are floating up at him!
How come all movies end in a cave?
To Kill a Mockingbird didn't.
Oh, that's one.
At Long Last Love didn't.
To Have and Have Not.
That's three. I guess pretty much all of them.
You know, if this were a Japanese film the whole movie would revolve around this dragon here.
🎶 Round, round, round, round, I get around 🎶
It opens doors, tunnels, caverns, and crevices.... "And it snapples caps off jugs, bottles, and jars."
"All this will be yours" if the price is right.
Does this armor possess magic too??
No weapon can pierce it...
"...............'cept a butter knife."
Used to be your sister's.
Re: horse. "Do you like him?" GEE ANY KID WOULD, HE'S SWELL!!!!!
I wouldn't pick up my worst enemy's dog poop with this crap.
♪ ♫ Little dudes in a golden cage ♪ ♫
Ah, geez, what time is it? I've gotta go hit my shift at the Happy Chef.
Carol Merrill, what's behind that curtain? It's a new horse!
Oh, no, not a solo!
Imogene Coca, no!
Imogene Coca, yes! Talk about your show of shows! Whoop!
Hark, ye movie sign!
In a private ceremony they were married by Grady from Sanford and Son.
Oh goodness gracious, I'm dead!
She should not be left alone.
Princess Helene, your lights are on.
Could you help us out? We're a little short!
Hey! Her column's a lot more ornate than mine!
"Give me my freedom!"
Okay, but it's not wrapped.
"Go ahead, show me how a pair of young mortals in love bid farewell before they die." ♪♫ bwah chikka wah chikka wah wah ♪♫
The secret compartment of this ring I fill with a proton super energy pill!
Butch & Sundance: the Really Early Years...
Age before beauty... Pearl's before swine...
You taste like Charles Boyer!
- Tonight, on Mime Court...
- If you're really bad, they throw you in the imaginary box!
I'm Furious Yellow...
Music made under strict rabbinical supervision!
I love Dean Martin in those old Anne Helm movies...
"They're not dead, they're just metaphysically challenged."
"Hello! I'm French!"
"Aw man, I know he's French but HER?"
"Must... get to.. crappy.... special effect.."
"Sit there and drink!?"
"It's King Grady!"
"Hey, Burt I. Gordon's gone color!"
"As a scientist, I'm constantly working with materials that threaten life on a global scale and sometimes... they spill."
oh, somebody flushed
'Chest Hair Club for Men'
He kind of looks like Barry Gibbs, doesn't he?
Oh look, that guy hit a bug.
'Even Cowgirls get the Blues'
Now, is she doing her Fay Wray or Jessica Lange?
Take your pick.
Oh, they aren't dead, they're just metaphysically challenged.
"This is our seventh day."
Let's form a girl group.
I wasn't skulking I was hanging around.
Weird sexual tension!
Two for Smoking?
He's Pepe' Lepew!
Sounds like a Noel Coward Play.
and the benches clear!
What a drag it is getting old!
Tonight on "Tales from Lucy's Crypt!"
Try to stay on the path!
"Sir Crow of Robot"
My beard's coming off!
[ 'Where's Dennis?' ] [ "at Mr. Wilson's!?" ]
Mists of Avalon...Avalon...
It's Ron Perlman!
A Troll in the Hay!
It's a KOA!
Boy that place could use some yard work!
['Would you care to see him?' ] [ "Feel him..touch him..." ]
Whew! Glad i don't have to mow that lawn!
....and last Terry the Sensitive Knight!
[ "The Magic Sword" ] [ "Can slice a tomato so thin you can see thru it!" ]
Big Gulp Berets!
"I think it was something stronger than Magic" -- Double secret Magic.
STOP FOLLOWING ME!
I’m so sleepy I can barley keep awake.
-Lighten up they’re just puppets!
Hey look, you can see the string that works his mouth.
It’s best not to do your treachery at noon.
You violated ape law!
“Did the sword do that?” Sure did Jethro.
He’s got a reverb pedal.
Answer unclear, ask again later.
Tonight on a very special "my weird body"
Welcome to the crypt I've been lurking for you!
You know, if this were a Japanese film, the whole movie would revolve around this dragon here.
I get misty...
Smoke gets in your eyes...
SMOKE on the water!
On top of Old Smoky!
Oh no! Now we're stuck in here!
Pan, pan, pan. Personal pan. Pan pizza!
This doesn't do anything for you? Come on, I'm a ghost!
Oh the other head died too. How about that.
"I'll let you out after I've rescued the Princess Helene-" But I'll be hungry by then!
"There; the sisters." There were never such devoted sisters!
Oh, is it mother today?!
"I shall not draw..." I shall paint!
You think that hurts? Take a look at this perm.
Oh, Bite me, its fun!
Hi, Gary, we're part of this complete breakfast!
I'm French you know. VERY French.
Hello? I am French!
Why do you seek the living among the dead?
Trick or treat for UNICEF!
"I just realized...I'm Gary Lockwood!"
"Oh Tish, you spoke French!"
"Mighty birch, king of all trees. Ask for it by name!"
"He's yours? Then tell 'em to stop throwing stuff at us!"
"One Rathbone a day will clean Doggie's teeth, and freshen Doggie's breath."
"And they're packed with bits of Nigel Bruce!"
"Packed with peanuts. Estelle really satisfies!"
"Does he have a cotton panel in those tights?"
"You ain't woman enough to take my man!"
"Tonight, on Tales From Lucy's Crypt..."
"Now, even if we were in the Renaissance, how would we know we were in the Renaissance?"
"There just couldn't be anybody as cruel and evil as you!"
"No, I won't hear of it! There's a man in Eastbourne!"
"She's got more stories about her relatives than Gabe Kaplan!"
"Please, I gesticulate you!"
"She's been hitting the dye pot!"
"I hate it when they hire these Strip-O-Grams for my birthday!"
"and yes you can be to thin"
"Lodak, I shall find your castle, free the Princess, and see you destroyed!"
"All while balancing an egg on a spoon!"
"Hey, MC Lyte wants her necklace back."
"So... It's like your *arm*?"
Hi Gary, we're part of this complete breakfast!
"Sir Crow of Robot, Defender of the realm, Guardian of the Flame, Purveyor of fine toiletries to her Majesties court since 1753, a noble wondering virtuous knight."
"My Wesley will come for ME"
"Seven swords" for seven brothers.
Come on you ragtag bunch of misfits.
In a private ceremony, they were married by Grady from Sanford & Son...
"I can only admire your courage..." If not your smock.
"Mount your horses, gentlemen." We're not THAT lonely!
Teddy Ruxpin, no!!
Well, I can conclude one thing - WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
You make me sick you stupeed peeeg!
Sanctuary! Sanctuary! Sanctuary-much!
"Oh well, boys will be boys..." in the hood!
Awww, great ... now we're stuck in here!
That's precise editing, eh?
And keep reachin for the stars!!!
"He's no ordinary animal."
"He's your father!"
They call me ESTHER KREBS!
Duel overhead Sinead O'Conners...
High - key - bah.....
And a double High - key - bah....
What ?! Is he the knight from the Bronx ?
Can't ya just walk in to the room with out a BIG ta - doo ??
I thought I smelled Basil!
So why does the most evil man in the world live in a Stuckey's?
Guilty! Guilty! Guilty!
Eenie-meanie, chili-beanie - no, no,...
HERE? In front of the CIRCUS PEOPLE?!
Is a woman who hangs out with hags a hag hag?
"You guys really bug me!"
"You'd risk the seven curses?" Hah, I love that Carlin!
It's a magic sword but it's also good for simple jobs.
"Terry"- the sensitive knight.
He's been framed!
Oh man, I know he's french but HER?
"And with your love it might not matter, but can she control her bladder!?"
"A gallant Frenchman!" You don't see many of those!
She's stuck! Bang her on the side of the head!
By this time, my lungs were burnt to a crisp.
Boy, he really had the beer goggles on, didn't he!
Must... reach... crappy... special... effect!
My own mother just flipped me off, how 'bout that.