416 - Fire Maidens of Outer Space
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
I can hear my heart break.
That's not a very good effect.
"Don't you talk?"
Don't say anything.
Jeez... the Bataan death march was less painful than this. [Pretty dark for MST3k]
Viva Las Vegas!
Allow me to knee you right in the groin, Bob.
I wonder if they're volunteer Fire Maidens...
Old guy: Welcome to New Atlantis.
Tom: A planned community.
"Do you have seasons here?"
Yes, we have joy. We have fun. We have seasons in the...
"What's the name of the lake?"
"Are we supposed to wait for Dale & Larson to come back?"
Crow: It's what the script says.
I AM THE GOD OF HELL FIRE!
Hi, God of Hell fire!
Oh, hey! An action sequence!
Geez! it's the planet of the Roper's.
Hey! He's shooting us some wrist.
Bob, slip into that clown suit!
She's built like a brick sh...showboat!
Goodbye. Thanks for the Valium.
Geez, I'm trying to spice up your movie and suddenly I'M the jerk!
Uh, fellas? Is it me, or do we all look alike?
Hey, ladies! Look, I'm not Wilt Chamberlain...
The music really matches the action.
Patented 50s scream.
That's a human voice.
Wow, they are scientists.
Heh--the four dullards of the apocolypse
A lot of people praying for George Bailey.
Keep left darn Labour Party.
I'm waiting for my kiss!
Oh, like there's a plot to this!
[Disembodied voice makes a noise] God?
"Blair? Listen 2 me..." I want u 2 stop touching yourself
♫ Pad pad pad the film,
pad pad pad the film,
pad pad pad pad,
pad pad pad pad
pad pad pad the film!♫
How would you like to see under my smock?
Well, you've seen enough of grandma; so take a seat.
I don't know what it is, but it's something.
'What about us?' "I give not a crap for thee"
I'll make the incisions here and here...
Why are the Bangles serving him breakfast?
Again? Whaddaya think I am, Dylan Thomas?!
Hey, look, it's a quarter to something!
Is that Jon Cryer back there?
Oh, that's an ashtray, Tom...
It's NOT a very good effect...!
It's Nancy Kulp night...
It's on this sheet of Laffy Taffy...
On the left! On the left! DICKWEEEEEEEEEEED...
Well, I wet 'em. You?
I'm gonna' call it Planet Me...
"Nissa shall be your temporary ruler."
Nissa, who didn't do a dance to sacrifice me.
Stay off the moors! Stay off the moors!
"Yeah that scene was almost exciting! Let's go back to the ship and sit around."
"Ya know, they should try dancing TO the music."
"Jupiter! America's dairy-land."
"It's the Land of Dairy Queen! They treat you right."
"I question the relevance of this scene."
"I question the relevance of EVERY scene..."
"Grand Forks or bust!"
"I wonder if they're volunteer Fire Maidens?"
I'm gonna go take the first in a series of cold showers.
What is this, a Bergman film?
Go for the women, not the old goat!
"Could we get a table closer to the plot?"
Please remain seated until the movie grinds to a complete halt.
"Food and drink will provide the necessary sustenance."
They always do.
Wish I had some sweet, sweet booze.
"Your father, Prasus, is dead."
Jupiter: America's dairyland.
On the count of three everybody nap.
I question the relevance of this scene.
I question the relevance of every scene.
I'm coming to terms with my sexuality.
Oooh, yes, red, oh, rings, ho ho ho, yes, smooth, oh ho ho, celestial body, hahahohaha
You know, they should try dancing in time to the music.
I was kinda hoping I could just marry into posture.
"Hold your fire, we'll try and scare him away." By firing at him.
Yep, this is London, pretty much. I can't believe how much we're in London.
"Hi, I'm quite average looking." Meryl Streep meets Laura Dern.
Sergeant Bat Guano, if that really is your name!
Even Quinn Martin is a Cy Roth Production.
I get it. You don't have to be Freud to figure that one out.
Welcome to Burbank ...eh England, jolly old chap.
How to pick up women.
"Are we just gonna sit here and wait for Blair and Larson to get back?"
That's what the script says.
"What if they don't come back?"
We'll be sitting here anyway.
You know my line?
"We'll wait here until noon."
"If they haven't come back by then we'll..."
I was thinking I'd just marry into posture.
I've got a headache this big and its got Cy Roth written all over it.
"'Quickly'? In THIS film? I don't think so."
"A hundred and one...a hundred and two...hundred and three..." "Emergency power!" "Oh, you made me lose count! One..."
I'm such a bad actress!
Can we get a table closer to the plot?
Bob, slip into that clown suit.
"Breakfast is the most boring meal of the day, remember that!"
"Hey, walleyes bitin'?"
"Oh, sure I didn't make the cut! Just wait 'til you open your locker on Monday!"
"I was just thinking Aphrodite musta' lost 'er shape after a few hundred daughters."
"What's this?! Femme Fatales dancing Dervishly to tantalize our Dynamic Duo?"
"A toast! Yes, a toast!"
"Run away! Run awayyy!!"
"You're denying my womanhood, aren't you all?"
"I forgot to add the fabric softener!"
"'Have laundered your shorts... Will deliver immediately... Kiss, kiss, Bunny.'"
Mmm, baby got back!
Can I spread out with someone, sir? I'm scared.
Aww - Ki... King Dinosaur!! That's from King Din... I'm leavin' I'm not watching this!
Get 'im back here...
Ah... sweet, delicious booze...
What is it?
Joel - "Second had smoke Phil."
(...here you must remain until the destruction of the creature.
Joel - "Oh, look at the time!"
Joel - "Fire up the grill girls...time for manwiches."
If we don't return in 30 minutes...
Joel - "The pizza's free."
Crow: "I see London, I see France..."
Servo: "Watching Underoos is fun, I can see the dancers' buns."
You know, some day we're gonna have to learn how to feed ourselves.
"Resume Planned flight." And everyone, hairlines: recede!
U know, I really don't care....I've gotten 2 the point where I REALLY DON'T care ~Joel
And I'm running out of analogies for sex.
#3: The Larch...
Hello, Gang of Four! (Gang of Four reference! Holy shit! Greatest. Show. Ever.)
Tom: Son of a gun.... Is there anything here I can't conquer? heheheheh
Crow: heheh, hot damn!
Tom: *lip smack* aahhh!
That's it? You're mine and, that's it?
"Yes, I know." Salem does satisfy.
Cy Roth: maker of films and fine candies!
They're having a Montclair Moment.
"We'll wait here until noon." NO!
Shut up Dave, I'm talking.
"I thought I saw something move." Well, it sure wasn't us!
Let's all watch it on the speaker.
The Four Dullards of the Apocalypse
Let's get you out to the suburbs where it's safe....
Keep left! On the left! DICKWEED!!!
"Atlantis is impregnable." But I'm not...
"Looks like a code of some sort..." It's from the director-- it says 'SLOW DOWN.'
"There could be humans on that planet." Yeah, there *could* be dogs, light rail, and tofu-- what's your point?
Think they should've built the observatory in a bus station?
Prince Igor Borodin? Isn't it Prince Rogers Nelson??
Got big 'ol ears there, boy.
Hey could we get a table closer to the plot?
If this is caramel corn brace yourself for the peanuts fellas
I was thinking maybe I'd just marry into posture.
Let's hear it for the Kingsford Dancers. Kingsford Dancers light easily...
Oh no, they've got Kennedy's on this planet!
That's one small tush for a man. One shapely thigh for mankind.
Ah whatever! I'm just gonna throw one of these in there.
Draw a sparkly...
My father never told me he loved me.
Why don't we talk anymore?
So is there anything else to do on this ship? Bumper pool? Slot machines?
Everyone! Hairlines recede!
Haha! Make jokes at your wife's expense!
That one gear works for everything!
I'm Ed Bradly and this is 60 minutes...of padding.
And back we go!
Sounds like Mariah Carey...
"Stand by.." for action!
I'm gonna call it planet Me.
What are they driving to Scotland?!
Lets get you right out to the suburbs were it's safe...
Outer space in a prop plane. I don't think so!
Say! this is a joint operation..
"In the mutual interest of peace and security for all mankind.." There is no smoking!
I wonder if they're volunteer fire maidens?
Fire Maidens really grip the road.
Um, Joel, if you don't mind, I'm cooking here. I'm beginning to smell delicious.
Please stay seated while the movie grinds to a complete halt.
When slumber parties go bad...
How'd you like to see under my smock?
Mm-hmm - one Grecian urn...
She's built like a brick sh-... showboat!
I'm bored alreadyyyyyyyy....
This music makes me think they're driving to something really grand.
Now he's the posture king.
Yeah! That scene was almost exciting! Let's go back to the ship and sit around...
Hey, wait -- did you poison your Dad just so we could go on a date?
Oh! What was that? Was that a plot point? Did something happen?
So, anyway, I just sat there for hours, and Cy Roth kept the camera rolling the whole time!
--and Cy, keep the camera rolling!
Please remain seated until the movie grinds to a complete halt...
Uhh, change in the menu -- duck's off!
Ahh, good... when you get near a consonant, let us know, willya?
Pad, pad, pad the film! Pad, pad, pad the film! Pad, pad, pad, pad, pad, pad, pad, pad, pad, pad, pad the film!
I gotta go take the first in a series of cold showers!
You fellas see a barbecued mime around here somewhere?
Jeez, the Bataan Death March was less painful than this!
Looks like Ric Ocasek in a union suit!
Is this the Hugh Hefner Planet?
Why are The Bangles serving him breakfast?
Hey, could you quit pouring so loud... keep the cat from stomping around like that...?
-So, do you save the coupons?
-How do you think I got this spaceship?
C'mon, we got lots of interior shots we gotta use up!
-Jeez, how long does this go on?
-There's more action in the wallpaper!
They all look like waitresses at Caesar's Palace!
Yeah, sure... uh, how about some Beer Nuts... or, maybe some cocktail weenies...?
Oh, wait a minute! This is a "Star Trek" set!
*sssssssss*uh, we got a helium leak sir. its pretty bad back here.
Maybe it's just Canada pretending to be London. That happens.
Uh, could we get a table closer to the plot?
Haha...Allow me to knee you right in the groin, Bob.
Let go of him you bitch!