419 - The Rebel Set
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Good thing the carpet is brown.
"Enough money to forget you can't act..."
Hey! You're in this movie, too, bub!
"A rose by any other name would still have thorns."
I think you're misquoting.
"It's the law of averages!"
I'm average. I'll make it!
At first, Johnny's parents don't miss him.
The movie's not over yet and they're striking the set!
Don't cry over this, okay?
You're hard to talk to, sir.
John Candy! ... Hey, that was John Candy.
"Your wife?" "Yes, sir." Sorry. Heeey...
Get your paws off me you damn dirty Beat!!
"He's nude!" "I'm what?!"
Well, he helped pad out the film, so he might get off.
Father, I had impure thoughts three times last week...about you!
Hey, it's a picnic casket.
Tom, you stole that from Joyce DeWitt.
You idiot, your coat is stuck in the door again.
Ooh, that really got up there.
My husband's very hip at home.
"Creeps?" You know, Committee to Re-Elect the President.
Play it up big in public, yeah.
Johnny realizes his whole life has been a lie.
Now, he's beating up a milkman He hates people in uniform!
Hey! Wisconsin's the other way!
♫Happy Birthday, to me, Happy Birthday, to me!♫ Aw, I shouldn't have...
Ohhh - they're draining the blinker light fluid...
"How'd you get into the act?"
- I replaced Gummo...
Oop! Sorry, Dad...
Johnny's car rolled and burned...
"HE"S NOT MERRIT STONE!!!"
"This is about the time Superman would show up."
"You know, this is the hippest Red Lobster I've been too?"
He's not Merritt Stone!!!
So, do I come here often?
This is just like 'Treasure of Sierra Madre'...only it's not good!
Oh..this must be that guy from Pomade calling?
You know if you pick up a few more shifts you could move there!
Forgive me father for I have murdered!
So they're... waiting then?
Gee, I can't wait to see the Statue of Liberty.
It's Chicago dear.
Mm, I hate character actors.
Oh, you know, I got the nicest Rebel Set for my wedding, oh yes, it was so nice.
Priest on a hot tin roof.
In nomine PATRI!
Geez, the horse from Equus had it better than this.
Is it almost my turn to sleep?
Alfred Hitchcock in drag!
She just put her brain in.
Johnny thinks Amelia Earhart seems like a nice lady.
“Johnny can’t read the words ’Chemical Wonderland.’” Oh, we’ve all been there.
Oh look, it’s the arch-de-full-retreat.
"Joe(Louis) hits Johnny up for 15 cents due to tax problems!"
-There's something you don't see every day, Chauncey.
-What's that, Edgar?
-Priest beatin' the hell out of a guy in a factory.
"I want to impress upon you that no one can change his mind." Mmmm ok, you can.
You know, this is the hippest Red Lobster I've been to.
"Saul Houston." Big Jew from Texas!
"I've been lying to you..." I'm not really a submarine captain.
Can we have the T-I-K-I-T-Z, please?
NOBODY EXPECTS THE CROSS EXAMI...oh.
"His parents didn't abandon him like Johnny's."
"Olsen and Johnson: keeps babies soft!"
Tommy Kirk, Assassin.
Lee Harvey Oswald on vacation.
Murder on the Disoriented Express
Stay together, cheeks...
Boy, I need liquor to deal with this weird action.
I AM IN A STATE OF GRACE! LEAVE ME ALONE!
It's a picnic casket!
This is not my beautiful wife!
Nobody expects the cross exa...
Ah, the blue-ridged mountains of Chicago.
Someone's tuning a piano.
"The noble thespian has arrived." - I'm as hetero as the next guy!
"My plan is based on the interesting fact that if you take a train from L.A to new york there's 4 hour stopover in Chicago." - It's the SAT caper!
"He's tried committing suicide before" Did it work?
"That is the biggest sub-sandwich I've ever seen."
(I'm from New Jersey. Joel should have said Hoagie. Then it would have REALLY been funny!)
"This is about the time Superman would show up!"
"Oh no! We robbed a diaper service!"
"Hey, what's his deal? Oh, it's a woman."
"Prozac at work in today's society."
"Jiminy," thinks Johnny. "If only I could get a ride in of those!"
One night in Bangkok makes a strong man crumble!
"...Plenty enough 2 forget u can't act." Hey u're in this film too, bud!
OWWw, your implant must've inflated again!
Well... he helped pad out the film, so he might get off!
Go in peace, sin no more, I'm outta here!
It's Officer Not Appearing In This Scene!
Cigars? Cigarettes? Camus? Sartre? Angst? Alienation? Wittgenstein?
I wish Bret Easton Ellis would do that with his typewriter...
As a gift to the reading public, he's throwing his typewriter away!
Kids: shot this guy for you. Ham in fridge. Mom.
Well... we're rebels -- here's our chance!
Tell Zappa to turn the music down... Ruth Underwood wants her vibes back!
"You know what the trouble with you Beat guys is?"
--You're so Fifties!
Y'know, guys, if this is what being "Beat" was all about, I'd rather be a shallow Post-Boomer -- like you!
So, this must be that guy from Pomade calling?
Oh, wait a minute, it's a little late for acting lessons! They've started filming already!
Well, let's play "Chutes and Ladders" next time!
Maaa-aan, I wish I could afford a trap set, maaa-aaannn...
"Honey, uh... Kazan wants me for On the Waterfront II: Electric Boogaloo!"
"The Forbidden Dance of Laura Petrie."
"Yusef Lateef, I Sef Lateef. ♫ ♭ Let's call the whole thing off..." ♫ ♭
"Cigar? Cigarettes? Camus? Sarte? Angst? Alienation? Lichtenstein?"
"Johnny's parents blame each other and never trust again. Good Night."
"Boy, they're sure tough on drunk drivers in Canada."
"Johnny feels dark hands pressing him onward. The voices in his head get meaner..."
"Besides, The Mariners are playing-- SO WHO CARES?!"
"Simulated culture like Disneyworld™."
"Looking very relaxed, ADOLPH HITLER on vibes."
"The DRUGS from the CHEMICAL WONDERLAND start to kick in."
"When going after MOBY DICK bring the TARTAR SAUCE."
"#4: ENJOY REAL MAPLE SYRUP."
Oh yeah I need liquor to deal with this weird action.
Oh, it's a Jules Feiffer cartoon.
"I'll be over like a guided missile." - Only bigger and dumber.
I said you were forgiven now leave me alone!
"And thus did mighty Samson overcome the Philistines..." By hitting them on the head with a sitting stick and wearing a priest costume??
I'm gonna kill that milk to impress Jodie Foster!
Hole, hole... garage sale... hole... Salvation Army...
Visions of the Mekong delta flash before Johnny's eyes...
There are no small laws... just small criminals.
"Do you know anyone who is giving away a million dollars?" Ed McMahon?
Boss, why 'ya in ya pajamas?
The sad side of beatniks. Beyond the bongos and the goatees lies... PAIN.
Hey while you're in there can I get a newspaper?
Please ma'am, I'm just trying to mow down your husband in cold blood!
Thanks - eh, they're all warm and wet!
Ernest does a nickel up at Attica.
Its a little late for acting lessons - they started filming already.
Tell me Johnny, what do you think of the new free trade agreement?
I hafta go horsies...
WHOOO IIIIIIISSSS MERRITT STOOOOONNNNNEEEEEEEE?????!!!!!!
Father! I had impure thoughts three times last week....about YOU!
Oh, thanks for being so supportive of my acting career that I took to a life of crime!
"You know, everyone I've told about my memoirs says--" - Shut up!
(at the newsstand) "Well, let's see...'Rubber Fantasy', 'Latex World', uh, 'Butt Biters', and 'Newsweek'. That'll do."
Guys, if this is what being Beat is all about, I'd rather be a shallow post-boomer. ...like you!
...so, all this happened because Johnny got lost at the fair?
Hey, there's a Mingus among us!
Who is Merritt Stooooooooooooone?
And now a few murders with Andy Rooney.
"visit the off-world colonies!"
"Those rebels really go through the Swiss Miss."
"A cock's comb?" By Henry Miller. "A cock's comb?" By Henry Miller. "A cock's comb?" By Henry Miller...
Johnny's parents decide to move on and start their lives anew-
It's the Arc d'Full Retreat!
You know that wasn't part of my master plan it was just for fun.
"He said I was just right for the part" -the Jethro Bodine story?
"Mommy had a little vacation while you were lost!"
"OOPS, SORRY DAD..."
we've replaced her live son with this dead one,let's watch...
The more i drink,the more talented you become.
For the first time in his young life Jhonny knows real fear.
Then Johnny transmogrifies,He's a shape-shifter and he breaks the forth seal.
George Bernard Shaw was teasing me.
"I am bugged!" God of facial hair!
A mystery man hands a package to Johnny. The first one's free, he says.
"All I did was hit him" -- With a BULLET.