422 - The Day the Earth Froze
|Short - Here Comes the Circus:|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Because there is a little bit of the clown in all of us. (Red Skelton voice) Good night and may God bless.
"It is futile."
No! It's fusion!
Fly, monkeys! Fly!
Way to wreck the scene, Mom!
Ever eat a pine tree? Many parts are edible!
Ladies and gentlemen! The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and Mountain Boys!
"Each of you must hold..."
I guess everyone's gonna blame this on me, too!
It's Blackened Beauty --the Cajun Horse.
The man who mistook his wife for a hat.
You put the feather in before the wool? Hmmm...
With these teeth, will you bite me!
Yes, it's Albert Speer, nude!
James - at 92...
'Tain't a fit night out - fer maaan nor beast!
Why do we even HAVE the mist, if it bugs thee so much?
Help me, Obi-wan Kenobi - you're my only hope!
It's full-contact Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe?...!
Hoo-hoo-hoo! Let the nightmare begin! Hoo-hoo...
It's Blackened Beauty, the Cajun Horse!
Hey, Mr Douglas! I see you got a horse - well, not really a horse...
Beelzebub the Clown!
Make way for the Ku Klux Klowns!
"Loukhy the witch by Ingrid Elhardt."
A woman? Yes! A woman!
Now, get out of my office! Miss Jenkins, I pay you to screen these people!
"I'm a slice of piiiie!"
"There's a big frontier out there called life. I aint nobody's daughter I aint nobody's wife. I'm gonna stake my very own claim of land and your gonna wanna know who I am... I'm GYPSY!!! Gypsy rules me! Gypsy rules, not you. Not you, or you. Gypsy rules. MEEEE!!!!!! HEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!! EEE!!!"
"Awww! they're going to honeymoon at a rest stop?"
"You mean the new '92 Sampo with leather interior?"
"Have yourself a heapin' pile of anarchy."
"Kids come runnin' for the rich taste of Sampo!"
"And who are you?" Oh, me? I'm just the laundry.
Oh No!..No! No! They're doing it Clown Style!..No!
Yes! It's the man who mistook his Wife for a Hat.
Betty got Back!
Suddenly it's Flashdance!
♫...He's a steel town Sven on a Saturday night...♫
Mother Theresa in a role that will inspire you.
He's got a cocktail dress on!
I don't know what I'd do without my right-hand troll.
This is the strangest debate format I have ever seen.
Oh, just do it and don't screw it up!
Hey! No boat!
Yes, our Betty swings BOTH ways!
Why don't you use an axe on your HAIR, ya' hippie?
The Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man in chains!?!
Hey! My other Log's a Redwood!
"The Adventures of Fjord Fairlane"
Oh! There goes the last Spotted Owl!
Escape to Wisconsin!
You mean the new 92' Sampo with Leather Interior?!?
~On a Clear Daaaay~
Oh! The guy on top must be the Shop Steward!
“You should have pity on me; I am the road…” I didn’t appreciate what Kerouac said about me.
Who’s hungry for salt?
Aww, now somebody’s sweater is going to have a big flaw.
Not THAT tree.
She’s got a GUN!
Is this a documentary?
He flipped her off.
Nobody gonna tell a Navy man when he's had too much to drink!
Looks like an ant farm!
C. Everett Kook.
Get your red-hod mom's....!
If you see any of these people, please, for their sakes, turn them in!
Hey, look at that boat. What, did you carve it out of a tree?
There's a roast in the oven! I don't know when I'll be back!
"It's Ezekiel, the Amish Clown. Haha No buttons!"
Tom Servo: Yes, our Betty swings both ways.
Oh God! They're doing it clown style!
Announcer: Here comes the circus!
Crow: Here comes the devil!
Hey, get me, I'm Swedish and I've got rhythm!
Let's kick into our Grand Funk medley!
Oh, dead bloated carp, floating in the shallow...
Ask for it by name.
Ask for it by name!
"Do you think we came to listen to an old woman's raving?"
That's why most people come.
There's a flash flood warning affecting Stonehenge region...
It was just so ding-dang cold that all the stuff in my nose just freeze right up.
...the Scandinavian sketch...
No, I didn't get your flippin' sampo.
We come bearing honey-baked ham!
Cigars - cigarettes... Cigars - cigarettes... Cigars - cigarettes...
Hey, get me - I'm makin' a Mountain Dew ad!
Why doth thee even have the mist if it bugs thee so much?
Check it out! It's Sting and David Lee Roth and Peter Noone and Sammy Hagar and David Carradine and.... SANTA?!!
♪♫♪ He's a failure, la la la. What a loser, la la la. Total failure, total failure, failure failure, la la la! ♫♪ ♫
Guy, I wonder what her Myers-Briggs test was like.
Prince Valliant auditions.
And that's the news from Lake Wobegone, where the men are strong, the women are good-looking and the children are above average. Oh, Butch Thompson's gonna come out with the band and do a medley of songs about cats. Then, Jim Ed Poole will do some...cat sounds. Then, another episode of watching paint dry. Then, Claudia Schmidt'll come out and try to fill the gap in her teeth. Then, Pat Donahue and Peter O'Strussko are gonna favor us with the story of the Swede who didn't like meatballs.
It's the Von Trapps, out for their daily run!
She's Swedish -- I'm guessing her eyes are blue!
She's got a gun!
Are you here for the bride or the failure?
"Duck With Orange, Duck With Cherry, Duck Surprise..."
"You're in the house. Take your bike helmet off!"
"We have some school closings today including Stockholm Public and Private, Oslo Public and Parochial, Helsinki Vo-Tech, Solome Junior High..."
"Boy, she's really broken through the glass ceiling, huh?"
"Ladies and Gentlemen, The Magic of Ulysses S. Grant!"
"The Field of Snakes!"
"Hey, Kevin Costner's in that, isn't he?"
"No, this is the dirty version."
"Pick up my dry cleaning and call the vet!"
"Hey, get me! I'm Swedish and I've got rhythm! ♫ 'I sing whenever I sing... whenever I...'" ♫
"1... 2... 3... I can't fall asleep countin' those guys!"
"This is a Freudian dream!"
"This act was outlawed on several continents!"
"Hey, uh... Wait a minute. Aren't the horses supposed to go behind the band?"
Grandma's been talking to the bedding again.
More! More! I'm a bad clown.
Please tell me this isn't happening...
Women who love too much, and the feet that use them!
My other log's a Redwood!
Hey, Betty got back!
Ilmarinen! It's three in the morning!
I'm relative humidity. It's not so much the heat as it is me.
Oh great, we can plant more snakes now.
"Ma'am, the dome is an option that you did not order."
Try the cleaning power of new Lemon Kainen in your rinse cycle!
It's a bag of Homer Simpson?
Do you want to be Finnish? Sure, we all do!
Kids come running for the rich taste of sampo!
Uh-oh, I'm chafing like a... well, me!
Don't talk about our clown, Martha.
Yes, our Betty swings both ways!
"STAT PUFT MARSHMALLOW MAN in chains..."
"That was VEIRD..."
"We'll be cruising today at an altitude of 60 ft..or so.."
Let us be gay! For he is a dickweed!
I'm not the pheasant plucker, I'm the pheasant plucker's son. I'm only plucking pheasants til the pheasant plucker comes...
Gee, he's really calm in a crisis.
♫ Walkin' in my winter underwear ♪
The Christmas that almost wasn't.
Now wipe your feet before you come into Finland!
WITCH: Forge a Sampo! Or you'll never see the face of your pretty sister again!
CROW: Can we see the other parts?
(possibly the raunchiest joke of the Joel Era)
Um... can we get married? We're in love.
Uh there's a flaming moose blocking traffic on I-35W northbound...
It's kind of a goofy Scandinavian Double Dare!
Oh, the keg's here!
"Has anybody seen Timmy? TIM- OH NO!!!"
One word ...ANNULMENT.
The day the Earth became unseasonably cool ...
Have ya thought about prayin to Me, God, The Big G Meister ???
Ladies & Gentlemen, the Swedish Moses of soul ...
High above the crowd, Dag Hammer - Skull takes to the trapeze ...
THIS, ... takes care of unwanted hair in the bikini area ...
NOBODY'S gonna tell a Navy man when he's had enough to drink ...
She performs her own trayyyy - key - atom - meeeee ...
"They're roasting Bullwinkle!"
"Inconceivable! They're gaining on us!"
"Let's go surfin' now, even Sven's learnin' how!"
"Why don't ya use an axe on your hair, ya hippie?"
"Hey, there's Bird Lanacaster! Walter Pigeon! Robin Williams!"
Now I know what they mean that "the road goes on forever".
The Stay-Puffed Marshmallow Man in chains? Kinky!
*DING* Sampo up!
Yea yea yea... can the balloon juice grampa! We're outta here!
Is there another wise man we could to?
Gah, you gotta be kidding me. A boat in HERE?
Okay, how much is this gonna set me back?
If you don't like the way I'm driving, call 1-800-BITEME
"John Houstons' 'The African Log".White heart." "White hunter. Black heart"
Has anyone seen timmy? AH OH NO!
Yes, children of all ages are confronted with forces they can't begin to understand!
Everybody doesn't like somethings, but nobody doesn't like Bruce Lee!
Uh-oh.....I broke him.
Let us be gay,,for he is a dickweed!
will somebody put me out,,i seem to be on fire!
Oh no, NO! They're doing it "Clown Style" NOoo ohhh!
"And Emmit Kelley is still eating!"
"And it's still funny!"
Now make way for the Klu Klux Clowns!
Look, it's Thomas Edison and his Electric Child!
Here comes the Devil!
Dear almighty refrigerator door... oh.
More! More! I'm a bad clown!
Birch, birch, birch.
By the Pricking of my Thumbs, something GOOFY this way comes!
"...so that's how I got into stamp collecting; and of course I've always enjoyed the theater..."
Are you with the bride or the failure?
Store this image away for a later nightmare.
Make me the Sampo!
I wish they all could be Nor-ha-wee-gin Girls!