424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate
|Short - Hired! part 2:|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Boss, I need to know about the execution.
There, there. We can have another daughter. ...and a poodle, too.
Oh, look. Them blue Kentucky hills of Tennessee.
I'm bemused by this plucky painting.
'Listen, I've never gotten us lost before.' "Have I...Honey!!!"
Go SPEED RACER
Ah, woah! 8:04
(British accent) Oh, thank you so much. A shot in the face. How nice.
*pant pant* Ca-can you hold tha-at cue card up? Um. What's it say? Oh, yeah. Arf.
Oh, right into a cow pie, Honey.
Crow: Well, for one thing, your face is too friendly. And second, your eyebrows, they arc softly as opposed to jutting inward. And, well. frankly, Joel, you blush in the most adorable way.
Jimmy Hoffa. The last known photograph.
"There is no way out of here. It'll be dark soon. There is no way out of here..." - It'll be dark soon!
The end? Uh...yes! No! I want to change my answer!
No, I don't want to be IN this movie!
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
Somebody filming a bad movie out here?
I'm Tom Bodett, and we'll leave a pyre on for you
Joel: Uhhh...that's not how you wear your Depends Torgo...
Crow: You may vacation with Torgo, but don't bring your American Express card!
Crow: I do NOT believe they had a crew!
The dog is sharp again mommy!
"The Master wants you as his wife. He likes beautiful women." And he likes to wear mittens.
Yup; when there's a full moon, I tell ya, that's when the crazies come out. Uh huh.
I think he has the most musical laugh I've ever heard.
"Let me just get your complementary crazy bread."
"Yeah, I remember when he would talk to me about my prospects."
Work. Booze. Work.
"Oh, my God. My pants are on fire."
"Hey, c'mon it's the Sixties. There's no getting your fingers through a woman's hair there."
"Uh, are you part of the movie we're in?"
"Yes, it's Hawaiian Tropic™ for that savage buzz."
"Waitaminnit'. This is just one guy talking. Just one guy."
"Visit beautiful Ground Zero."
"Give 'em backrubs."
"Uh... May I call you? I'd like t'see ya 'again sometime."
"Yeah, maybe I can kiss your butt on the way out! How 'bout that, huh?! Heh heh."
"Meanwhile, Eliot Ness and his Untouchables head for a speakeasy in Berwyn!"
"Whack 'em. Whack 'em good!"
"Yeah he performed puppet shows for me!"
Still kissing, six straight days??
"Margaret! Open the door!"
I can't! I'm waiting for Mike!
You don't have to go away mad.
The sign pointed this way! Admit I'm right! Admit I'm right!
Joel: Alright pick out who you wanna punch!
Staring... NO ONE!
Designing women, the lost episodes...
Women who lunch, and the Manos who love them,,, next Donahue
The black and red Moses of soul
And the tender "Peeping-Torgo" scene...
♫Smoooke - on the weeeirdooo...♫
YES, dear, I'm DOING IT, dear...!
- It's the Wilson Phillips breakup!
- I kinda wish this were shirts vs. skins...
Ooh, it's the latest episode in the Taster's Choice saga...
Oh. Torgo. Don't... burn any bridges yet...
I'd have an ear that would cover me like a shroud! And a thumb the size of a juggling pin - but not on my hand...
I guess they picked up Shirley Bassey hitchhiking...
It's Pigs, Lies & Videotape...
Maybe it's a hot poodle...?
Oh come on die! My arms are getting tired.
Uh wait - there's something gainin' on us! Oh never mind, it's just the top. I'm inTENsely stupid.
Make out! C'mon - kiss her!
Oh Joel, there's a buffet of loathsomeness in this movie.
COME TO ME FOR I AM THE MAGNET AND YOU ARE STEEL!
Well you look like Maude.
It was a brief affair, and it ended bitterly
Well the talks broke down at this point
And now back to We Married Manos
"Arise my wives" - and iron my workshirt.
"Oh Manos, thou of primal darkness..." - it's a Moody Blues song!
Did Mommy come back from another Bar?
Hey! Why don't you visit with Torgo awhile Dear...I'll be right in there.
Finally, my chance to get rid of that damn dog!
and the negotiations continued into the night...
Well, this does look inviting!
"Look... can we drop off Tim Weisberg now?"
“Yes Mr. Warren, but he bought the car.”
“But he bought the flippen car!”
“HE BOUGHT THE CAR!!!”
(sobbing) He… bought… the… car…
I wish those hands would just push him over!
She's telling him a secret...all over him.
Never steal anything we- Oh!
The black and red Moses of soul.
'Mommy didn't I have a poodle?' "You never had a poodle!"
You got it all wrong...Love should be musty and hurtful!
"You can have the top up or a Birthday present. It's your choice, honey!"
Light hand and get away.
Oh, she tells a good story.
"In a 'big place'? Where, Debbie?" The Northwest Territory.
Honey, when you look for someone, what do you do?
"Maggie, the damn car won't start." Yeah, that's a real bitch, Daddy.
Oh! and the hell of it is..he's never going to get that cashmere sweater clean!
Who was looking at Maggie the Cat?
He's the Clown that makes the Dark Side fun!
Tonight on Night Gallery!
I swear I know that guy!
You got family Torgo?
Sure! He is from the edge of Hell!
whoa! this is blowin' my mind!
The Amazing Technicolor Poncho.
You know, this is the slowest car chase scene I've ever seen.
What is he expecting...a Big On/Off Switch?!?
Man! I can't help but wonder what this cast party was like when they shot this?
Guy looks like a chainsaw sculpture!
Alright..shove over kid!
Hey! Who planted a man?
Honey! You're embarrassing Torgo!
I know you're an evil hell hound but it's after 9 and we've got kids!
You know? Torgo wobbles but he won't fall down!
Oh I'm beat! I'm hittin' the stain!
She's a Breck Girl!
When Carnies' Flirt!
~I want a lover with a slow hand!~
We got some poodle meat in the freezer for you!
Van Goh's self portrait...really....
It's Howlin Wolf! ~doo wop dat wang dang doodle all night long~
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my face, dearest!
The haunting Torgo Theme!
Ambiguity is scary!
I Wet Em'!
Frank! I'm out of the shower...I need you to towel me off!
Ugh! Tastes like cherry Robitussin.
And now the Manos women's guild will reënact the Battle of Pearl Harbour... *whistle*
"Young fellas today won't work the way we did eleven years ago!" PREVIOUSLY, ON 'HIRED!'
"Third..." Live at home until you're forty.
But I need my insulin!!
Joel: "Gaaaah, flying elves are back!!!"
Short: "I remember the first thing that Harry drilled into me... " Crow: ".. was Harry." Brilliant!!!
I'm beginning to sober up and you're scaring me!
Every frame of this movie looks like someones last known photograph
The master? Bobbie Fischer?
Don't tell frank cause then i would have to kill him
But he bought the flippin' car!
Parents, now would be a good time to talk to your children.
You know, this was the alternate ending to Beaches.
Lookee like we got some Yankee trouble-makers.
I don't think! I get even!
Oh, man, he has got a Torg-over.
Did my legs get really big last night?
Looks like they had a problem with the last fire.
"And never forget..."
I love you.
Oh my, it is the man. I hope we don't get carted off to the big house!
Tom Cruise is Dr. John.
"Where'd this place come from? It wasn't here a few minutes ago." Maybe it's Brigadoon.
get that cat off the piano
I don't mind telling you... my bladder has hit critical mass
"I want my puppy."
Your puppy's compost now kid.
"What could have done this?"
I've got the moves of a wallaby.
Let's sing something from Pearl Jam.
The flying elves are back!
Tom Cruise is Doctor Jones!
Her heart beat's irregular!
Punch it Jimmy, I wanna be in Tjiauanna by 8 o' clock or you're fired!
"Nonsense," He hated you!
"Been hittin' the thighmaster Torgo?"
There goes Torgo. He's rounding the Master, headed for the straightaway and there he goes!
When is this guy going to demonstrate some simple competence? Geez!
♫Riders on the Storm...♫
The Most Dangerous Game...
Disconnect with extreme prejudice!
"Enough, the ceremony is done." Bars and punch in the fellowship hall.
Work, booze, work...
Sounds like he has a humpback whale under the hood.
...what is he expecting, a big on/off switch?
...and the negotiations continued into the night.
"Hey. Sorry but you're not filming "Manos" Hands of Fate in our town"
"Hey Mister! Get those hands of fate at 10 o'clock and 2 o'clock! Now!
"What about the Valley Lodge!?!?!?"
Great hotel - really convenient to the mouth of hell.
"I'll never forget." I'll always have Torgo.
Careful, honey. Torgo has been marking his territory.
Tonight on "We Married Manos"
ita a Frank Frazetta of Frank Zappa
A tongue the size of a sleeping bag. And my fingers... would fold the other way.
"Torgo, you're the laziest man on Mars!"
"A new pope has not been chosen."
(As of 3/7/2013, that is VERY topical!)
he's the guy you used to know who works at a Kinney shoes and won't leave you alone
been hitting the thigh master Torgo?
the haunting Torgo theme
So, what are we - 'bout a half-hour into this movie?
No, I'm afraid not, its more like a minute...
Ah, are you part of the movie we're in?
"charred finger" *crow sings*
"you can't kill me! I quit!"
"You have stolen Painted Eggs in a time of Famine."
"Think we should try some of that kissin' Burt?
SHAME ON YOU DR. FORRESTER!!!
HAVE YOU NO SENSE OF DECENCY???
Joel, this is going to turn into a snuff film...
Wow, I used to go out with all these women and now they're all here... Kodachrome.
Doctor? Caramel corn's ready, do you want it in your Little Mermaid bowl?
"Sales are the most important thing in this business." Seeing as how we're salesmen and all.
"Ziggy had Garfield NEUTERED? .. now THAT'S FUNNY!!!"
It's Dr. Giggles. Goodnight, stay pink, soft and oily.
*cough* Ah....ahem. *baa* Ahem.
Can I have the watermelons ... that are in his pants?
You know this isn't Lysistrata. I like it, but it isn't Lysistrata.
Let's hear Susan's presentation and then break into small groups and discuss this.
Women who lunch (and the Manos who love them!
Doggy go walkies???
These clearance sales are brutal!
You can't kill me! I quit!
Hired II: Electric Boogaloo!
DO SOMETHING! God!
This scene is strong enough for a Manos, made for a Womanos.
Guy looks like a chainsaw sculpture.
It's like having Joe Cocker as your bellhop!
You have any idea how you were framin' back there?
Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream...
C'MON! SING! SING! SING, DAMMIT SING!!
poodle: Arf, arf, arf arf arf...
Does this bug you? Does this bug you? I'm not touching you!
Designing Women... the lost episodes
OK, we brought the kid... Now give us the negatives.
Nah... he ripped you a new one every day!
He wants me to 'read him his rights'!!
"so he kills him by waving a rusty tailpipe at him?"
How long did that decision take for the director? a half a second!? "Big knees, good. let's go with it!"
Didn't I have a poodle?
Hey, sorry, bud. You ain't filming Manos the Hands of Fate in our town.
The Master- doesn't like, children. "Oh, W.C. Fields..."
Some delicious A-1, my pet? Oh, you shouldn't have!
Yeah, here I go - vroom...
Torgo, you are coming dangerously close to crossing the line.
Wet-naps, flashlight, REVOLVER..
I swear I KNOW that guy..
What is this final jeopardy...?
His heartbeat is irregular..
Torgo, you're missing the fight, get your dress on and get in there!
Oh look honey, Torgo has a little altar to Ba'al!
Manos, The Hands of Fate was filmed on location in a vacant lot..
You know, every frame of this movie looks like someone's last known photograph..
It's a Frank Frazetta of Frank Zappa!
The haunting Torgo theme.
now wait a minute, did this movie just lap itself?
"Yeah thanks boss I'm leaving."
"Wait, Jamaican wings are ready!"
Pull my finger!
You can have the top up or a birthday present. It's your choice, honey.
When carnies flirt.
Been hittin' the thighmaster, Torgo?
(During the end credits) 'Okay, everybody pick out someone you wanna punch.'
These clearance sales are brutal!
Don't patronize me, sir.
You led me on...you gave me mixed signals.
"I remember one of the first things Harry drilled into me..."
Crow: "Was Harry!"
Hey look, there's a field! And another field! And another field! And...
Oh! Kids worship the darnedest things!
Dear, come on . . . you're soaking my favorite golf sweater!
Good salesmen. . . Bad salesmen. . . Inka-dinka-doo!
We've got some poodle meat in the freezer for you.
Where's Torgo? We came to see Torgo.
I'm Tom Bodett. We'll leave a pyre on for you.
Centaur gets the most sales because he's a shape-shifter...
Hey, mister, get those Hands Of Fate at ten o'clock and two o'clock, NOW!
The haunting "Torgo Theme".
"It was Callahan - the big one - he did this to me!"
It's like having Joe Cocker as your bell hop...
You can vacation with Torgo, but don't bring your American Express card
I may be wonderful, but I think you're wrong.
Tonight; Manos plays a deadly game of cat-and-mouse!
I know you're an evil hell beast but its 9oclock and we have kids!
"man yes,child no" Cheese maybe
every frame of this movie looks like someone's last known photograph
We're gonna have leadership the way my old man told me! You, put a handkerchief on your head! You, swat at imaginary elves! You, rock on the porch all night!
But he bought the flippin' car!
What was I thinking?!
Ya know, there are certain flaws in this movie.
Ah, that's not how you wear your depends Torgo.
"I remember the first thing that Harry drilled into me..." was Harry.
Ah! Flying elves are back!
I'm thinking of having that tattooed on my face dearest.
I left a piece of chewed gum on your pillow.
Next on ESPN; full contact nightgown wrestling
You know this scene was strong enough for a Manos but made for a Woman-os
Boy I'm torn...the wife....Torgo