507 - I Accuse My Parents
|Short - The Truck Farmer:|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"Did you ever sell shoes before?"
"Ah no, sir."
A young Al Bundy.
It was funny. Made me laugh HA!
Later, in prison...
My perfect family is right here - and Richard Basehart watches over us all!
So long, Mrs...um...Lush, was it?
Ironically...the humorful part is that he buys liquor with the ten bucks!
Yeah, they need a laughingstock.
Please don't touch the customers, Jim
Heyyy Cafe!! I've heard of this place!
"She must take a great interest in her home" .. Jimmy: "She does, it's all she thinks about" - Well that, and Twist-Off Caps!
The Penile Replacement Corporation presents ...!!
Hooray for chemicals.
"I've been waiting to hear you say that, son." So I've prepared a song!
"I saw it on your face when you first came in here!" I can read your chakras, too!
"I'll keep it for you. You can have it anytime you want." -- 🎶at Alice's Restaurant🎶
*sniff* I saw some kick-ass parties here....
"Tell us exactly what is in your mind."
You know... stuff....
Harrowing, isn't it?
Oh, it's a BEEF cake!!!!
Accusingly yours -- Jimmy
I won the "you got the crap kicked outta you" contest!
I accuse her hair.
"Hey where'd you get these golf clubs?"
"I've got peanut butter, and underwear, and that's all I need!"
There's nothing we can't spray.
hey, it says..."P.S. Say Yes to Martini and Rossi on the rocks, Say Yes"
If knickknacks ruled the world.
Oh, real complicated!
Go Speed Farmer. Go Speed Farmer, Go Speed Farmer, Go!
We could get into a lot of trouble for this, Frank.
CHURCH!? FORGET IT!
Have you ever worked as a boy before?
I won the Get the crap kicked out of you contest!
Soooo Jimmy, do you like your kneecaps?
Your mother is in detox, come quickly!
Wait a minute... has anybody seen a truck yet?
OH, no... That's all right!... You've done enough...
Just dig, Duncan Hinder!
I don't understand the holy spirit. Is it a bird?
Yes, Satan, speak to me through this song...heh...
Go speed farmer! Go speed farmer! Go speed farmer! Go!
There's something you don't see everyday. A farmer with all his limbs.
Let's take you back to the days when DDT was safe.
'The last few days of growth bring the vegetables to their peak' "I'm Peakin' Man!"
Harrowing isn't it?!?
Wait a minute! Has anybody seen a truck yet?
"Soylent Green is made from people!"
He's taken 2 selling his Essays on the street...
I'm thinking of telling my wife I love her..........nah forget, not worth it. Go speed farmer, go speed farmer, go speed farmer go!
Hey! Could somebody please do an intervention?
You think he'd ever accuse us?
"She's looking at me."
"No, she's looking at me."
"Here in southern Texas, there is an additional problem—"
And of course I was the last one out of Saigon!
Oh, his heart just exploded.
Quite a long line at the petty larceny window.
Buy yourself another mother.
Well maybe he just suspects his parents at this point.
Hey, it's beefcake!
"This is my first, I wouldn't know about Jim." -Beam
These trains never stop for ya!
No, but he was able to pick up a ride with the Joad family.
I'll just put this over here with mom's suicide note.
This is a message from all of the other kids in the essay contest, JIMMY!
Do you think he'd accuse us?
Well, I've joined the Black Hand. Hi!
Why is she dressed like Major Barbara?
Nobody expects to see Charley!
I'm gonna build a blimp and fight the nazzies!
Here thousands of acres of rainforest are cleared away. Who cares?
The Donner Party!
Oh, what a caboose! Woo-ha!
The sad thing is that he doesn't work for anybody; he just does this for kicks.
Honey, honey - there must be a pie cooling on a shelf SOMEplace...
On top of it all, my area's gone...
"Now look - nobody's gonna take you away from me."
- Not even ME, see? I'll *kill* me before that happens...
Uh-oh - I think he's gonna give Mr Potter his newspaper...
Buy yourself a roto-tiller...
You ever get bit by a dead bee?
"Er - do YOU have a blank check?"
- How ya fixed for socks and underwear?
Oh! My area!
Why'd he spray Desonex all over the window...?
She's got a closet full of dead shoe salesmen!
Jimmy: I accuse my parents!
Tom Servo: And we have a title ladies and gentlemen!
How 'bout some sugar for happy chef here?
Boy, she's really rocking this mother, isn't she.
A preteen is put to work...her beauty will soon fade.
Go speed farmer, go speed farmer, go speed farmer go!
The kissway to the promised land?
AHHHH Its Kill'Dozer RUN!
Some carrots are humiliated publicly.
I am the Angel of Death! The day of reckoning is upon us!
Thank God I'm white!
*Sobs* "If I had parents I'd accuse them right now"
"I accuse her hair."
"I'll be happy in my work!"
We invited the cast of Gigi over!
Most farmers like to listen to Igor Stravinsky when they farm.
I was torn from the side of Zeus...
Son, it's been two months and you haven't touched your hamburger.
Hey Showbiz ... can we get our food over here!
I gotta control my urges !
Crow at 16:35 (I'd quote it if I could spell all that.)
"Mom?" - I'm up here, honey, with the D.T.'s! Could you get the yellow lizard outta the bathroom?
I won the 'Get the Crap Kicked Outta Ya' contest!
Let me guess, it's your birthday.
The audience is, frankly, stunned.
Joel you magnificent bastard I read your menu!
Hey where'd you get these golf clubs?
She is putting on her tassels now.
Who knows what lurks in the hearts of men? The Shadow knows!
Sergeant, take the gun and shoot the corporal.
*BANG BANG BANG* Who's there?
♫They laughed when I accused my parents and I killed them, let's see if they'll be laughing noooowwww!♫
There's nothing we can't spray!
Joel, you magnificent bastard, I read your menu!
That guy's eavesdropping on his eavesdropping!
Wha's this say here? .. "Isn't..this..guy..carrying the letter a..dink."
Well it says here your feet don't exist.
"What are you going to do now Charlie?" - "We're going to like this see?"(typical early ganster talk ie. James Gagney, bugs bunny's Mugsy)
Crow - "So Jimmy, do you like your kneecaps?"
Go Speed Farmer! Go Speed Farmer! Go Speed Farmer, go!
How many times have you gone rooting through your junk drawer muttering to yourself, 'Where'd I put that gun?'
High energy prop comic Carrot Top is also packed in ice.
But what about my five dollars?!
"Oh, it's the three hard-boiled eggs she ordered."
"And now, Thom Mcann and the Payless Orchestra, with Cole Haan on the saxophone. Then, the Naturalizers will sing something by Johnston & Murphy..."
"Walt Disney interviewing another Snow White..."
"Can I show you something in a Size Me?"
"This guy's made more money today than I did all the way through High School!"
"Well, it isn't meat, but I suppose I better buy some of these just for appearances. (Oooh, cucumbers...)"
"I love you, Earl."
"Uh, not here, Tom."
"Now, Duck News! Here's Hugh McQuacken!"
"Wait a second! She has a pig in a blanket on her head!"
"It says here your feet don't exist."
"I'm going to build a blimp and fight the Nazis!"
Hail, Truck Farmer!
Mom's in the bottle again.
I'm going to run away to Kansas and become a ventriloquist!
Went to store. Scotch in fridge.
Penile Replacement Corporation Pictures presents...
YOUR MOTHER'S IN DETOX! COME QUICKLY!
Went to store. Scotch in fridge.
Penile Replacement Corporation Pictures Presents...
"I never had a mother myself..." I was torn from the thigh of Zeus.
J. Edgar Hoover goes shopping...
Later, this device is used to beat back the workers...
Aaaghhh, it's Killdozer! Clint Walker, nooooo!!!
"The makers of this film also accuse HITLER,TOJO, MUSSOLINI. We accuse them all. Soon we'll accuse STALIN."
"I Accuse My Parents was brought to you by BOONE"S FARM."
"A preteen is sent to work, her beauty will soon fade."
"I'm from CANADA, what am I doing here?"
jimmys cheating on me!!!
Welcome back to the 12th Annual Essay Awards Ceremony.
But it was your birthday LAST year.
HEY! I WON THE ESSAY CONT...........Oh.
The vodka clashes with the coffee table.
"She's drunk" "It's funny!"
Soylent Green is made out of people!
'ere now, what're ya doin' in a Cocteau film, boy.
Go home to your mother, that's a good lad.
Problem with mob... on lam.
I accuse you, Joel! Now, carefully hand over the hamburger sandwich. Don't let him forget the french fried potatoes garnish.
I'm up here honey with the D.T.s. Can you get the yellow lizard out of the bathroom?
"Somethings bothering you what is it, homesick?" Uh, I found a toenail in my hamburger.
"I had a lot of guys come in here broke never sent em' away hungry" Got em' piled out back.
"You interested in something in shoes?" No a fish sandwich what ya think?
"Well your honor I don't believe my mother and father should have ever had a child." I was abused as a zygote.
I love my rubber apron.
Go speed farmer, Go speed farmer, go speed farmer, go!
Stupid trees God I hate em'. Early tractor pulls not that much fun, this is the free style competition.
I'd like to deposit some guilt and withdraw some denial, please.
You got a bean in your pocket, I know it!
This is a message from the other kids in the essay contest, Jimmy!!
"Because of our truck farmers, the vitamins and minerals to be found in fresh vegetables--" Are poisoned.
Joel, I don't understand the Holy Spirit. Is it a bird?
I'm peakin' man.
*squak* [over Kitty's solo] All cheese busters are now $1.45
*squak* [over Kitty's solo] Kowalski, table for seven.
"...fourteen billion...fifteen billion..."
Hey, Showbiz, can we get our food over here?
My mom doesn't drink! (unprovoked, @31:08)
"Fix mother a drink James, I'm exhausted" from drinking so much.
[Frantically intervening] "Dad!" ...freshen your drink?
"I, uh, see you use the same bank I do." Ohh, well, they're YOUR checks.
QUACK QUA QUA QUACK QUACK QUACK [every time someone enters or leaves the room, setting off the motion-sensor duck]
She's got a closet full of dead shoe salesmen!
(Ladies and Gentlemen I have a BIG surprise for you this evening)
I'm Rudolf Hess.......
Soooooo.... Jimmy,.... do ya like your knee caps ?
Has anybody seen a truck yet ?
Life on the lamb - An affordable vacation!
Wow, this is one successful shoe salesman! Open mouth, close sale!
Accusingly yours, Jimmy.
Jimmy is suddenly seized with an essay idea...
So then my mom says to Roosevelt and Churchill, she says,'what about some kind of lend/lease program?'
Hey come on in, we invited the cast from Gigi over!
This tomato's highly deformed, but cut off the eyes and it's good eatin'
Don't see many of these trees anymore. Oh well, down it goes!
How you like my swinging church, son?
Thank God I'm white!!!!
Maybe they should have sworn him in.
Yes, Satan, speak to me through this song.
Well, he did win that essay contest.
I went and liberated France while you were dancing.
Seventeen hundred lies later.
Oh, yeah, bring it in! That's right, set the hook!
Eleanor Roosevelt's pissed.
Suddenly the Thin Man enters.
I like jell-o.
Praise the Truck Farmer! Bow down before him!
"Here in Texas there's an additional problem." Texans.
Easter Bunny Films presents...
Oh what now? How can I get a blowout when I'm just sitting here!?
I know how toast works... heh heh
So I just don't get the Holy Ghost, is it a bird or something?
It's my birthday mister.
LIAR! LIAR! LIAR!
Here's a five inch nail for dessert...go nuts