509 - The Girl in Lovers Lane
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"This is NOT your induction physical, Danny!"
"Why do we have to fight if we don't want to?"
What is this, the Sad Cafe? (Carson McCullers reference??)
"What's your name, kid?" Sexpoodle.
This is getting in to a weird area!
That's real nice ma'am, but you're still under arrest.
Uh, uh. Camera 3, get off the track. Camera 3. Oh dear god. Aaaaaah!
Kidnapped: the Frank Sinatra Jr. Story
(Pee Wee voice) I like you, Dottie. LIKE!
Oh, it's the Stage Manager from Our Town.
"Nice day." -- for a white wedding.
(Ed Sullivan voice) Really good show tonight with Topo Gigio.
What's that little guy doin' in there?
Well, I'll see if she's out here. Maybe I could call her "kid" can take her home.
You're going to kill a fatted calf!
If you can't afford a lawyer, the Court will appoint one for you
Said something about a bar mitzvah
“Have you ever been in love?”....Well, I liked a cat once.
Ya know, being with a hooker is just too much of a commitment for him.
Is she wiping his lap?
Why is she singing the theme to the Six Million Dollar Man?
"Well, do you think you can get back here with a menu before the food goes bad?" The food's bad already.
"Better get off here." Ehhhhh... never mind.
"Woof, what an odor, urine and uh... brussel sprouts maybe?"
"... ammonia, grass clippings, what is that odor?"
"You do the voice, I'll move the jaw!"
Watch out for sleestacks!
Hey, are we bound for glory Mr. big stupid?
Oh, they're taking him way outta town...
Jack Elam was a brilliant character actor - and for all I know, still is!
They're losing the will to driiift...
Dey got away! Dat was brilliant!
Daddy... there's a drifter outside...
I think I sat on your keys...
Then Big Stupid and his little pal leave that town cause they're driftwood, and then the apocalypse happens. And dinosaurs roam the land, and they capture dinosaurs and they tame them and they ride them like horses. And we see the bond between man and lizard etcetera etcetera
Danny likes ya Mister!
"So? He leaves and another guy comes along. What's the problem?"
You go to the doctor, you get some shots.
What I'm gonna do, see, is I'm gonna kill you and strap you around my body for armor.
I didn't think life could get any worse. I'm gonna go turn on the gas.
"And so, Bix and Danny left the Clam Flow--"
"Listen when you kill in this town you get a stern lecture from the Sheriff!"
"But I ordered a Tuna Melt!"
"Love should be musky and whiskery and bad!"
"It'll be you, me, and the moon. You wear a necktie so I'll know you."
"It's Donny Most and Joel Grey in a fight to the death!"
♫ ♬ "Green-eyed lady... sexy lady..." ♬ ♫
"Gee, I thought Vegas would be bigger and shinier."
"Okay, you join our discussion salon or yer' dead!"
"I don't keep nothing hidden. It all shows." EWWW!
Well, can I tempt you with some dessert?
"Have you ever been in love?" Well, I was, but she died.
Will you stop calling me "kid" and taking me home?
"We better not keep them waiting." Yeah, they might get angry and hit us.
I wrote a poem about you while you were sleeping...
Hopped a freight, meet a guy, he got beat up, I got beat up, he meet a girl...
"How about some of those good powdermilk biscuits? Heavens they're tasty."
"Don't order the toast!"
"Joel, when I grow up I wanna be a drifter!"
"I just found out this place is a brothel!"
"Hows about some o' those good Powdermilk Biscuits? Heavens they're tasty..."
"Is he coming on to us, Big Stupid?"
He does look like an easy target for thugs... Heck, I'D like to beat him up.
"Big Stupid? Should I have not put my head in the driver's lap? Was that wrong?" "Shut up, Danny."
What is she, Lydia Lunch over here?
They're in the Land of the Lost!
Watch out for Sleestaks.
Ah! We hit a wrinkle in time!
Are we gonna hustle these men, Big?
Hey! A coupon for a Frisco melt!
"Shut up Danny." "Oh."
"He's better than nothing." "You haven't tried nothing."
"You were incredible..."
What about that guy I groined in the knee?
“She died so easy.” Like she’d done it before.
Well I didn’t expect to spent the whole fifty bucks in there, we’re flat broke now!
That’s really nice ma’am, but you’re still under arrest.
Hey I’m in here! Do ya mind!?
"He does odd jobs around town." VERY odd jobs.
Hey, don't you want your $20 and your new suit?!
Hey, that guy's gettin' framed for my murder!
"I gotta go get the sheriff!" -- The Cafe Heiress - she's been KILLED!
You're drunk, AREN'T you...
When I grow up, I wanna be a drifter!
Big show, tonight, with Topo Gigio...
So this is pool...
"You're not ready for quips yet, Danny."
"The first 10,000 lucky kids get slide whistles, and the second 10,000 lucky kids get real brass knuckles. Then, the first 10,000 lucky kids become unlucky..."
"Tryin' to look at nobody, and I'm lookin' at everybody!"
"Your heart's showing!" I should plug that hole...
We're hungry, but I thought of it! ...Do ya think that could be my new job Big? Deciding when to eat?
Are we bound for glory, Mr. Big Stupid?
You see that? Boom mic. Picks up everything we say.
Read me "Stinky Cheese Head Man" Ok?
What's your name kid? Sex Poodle! Oh...
Did he swing it, or just place it there gently?
Uh, Danny, this isn't the answer.
*Gasp* It's Jesus!
I was thinking..." Can we snuggle?
Ollie Ollie friggin Oxen-free!!
Poopie Night? I mean, what are you gonna do, give the kids poop?
Oh, sorry, didn't know you were posing for a romance novel.
Come on kid, I'll take you home...-oh.
Don't fall in love with us, ma'am --- we'll hurt you every time.
There. There're your damn RINGS.
War torn, Wisconsin.
"Must save Spock!"
Crow - "He does look like an easy target for thugs. Hell, I'd like to beat him up!"
♫ The night the lights went out in... wherever they are. ♫
I'll just check behind this green door...
I'll see if he wants to touch me. So, you wanna...HEY DON'T TOUCH ME!
"I aint the guy you're looking for" You ate the guy i'm looking for? But Why?
He's trying to uncomfortable him to death!
What happened to my face, Big Stupid?
" Oh what I wouldn't give to be Mr.BUBBLE right now !! "
"This is not your INDUCTION PHYSICAL Danny."
" S P A R T A C U S !!"
I'm saving myself for the right oily drifter.
Hey, she's got a skunk costume!
Big, should I have not put my head in the driver's lap? Was that wrong??
Hey, I think we're losing our significance here-- we'd better do some crimes, man, or we'll be written right out of the script!
You know guys, I get the feeling we're not cut out for train songs after all. I really think who were are in space, we're a lot better suited about singing about being IN CARS!!!!
Franki Valli and the Four Seasons of the Apocalypse
Like father, like BUM. Think about it, won't you?
Mr. Stupid, can I have my wallet back now?
The open road is our home, ma'am.
My dress, its blue, I tried to make it yellow with my mind but I got tired...
See, heres what Im gonna do, Im gonna kill you and strap your body on as armor.
Are we bound for glory now Mr. Stupid?
This man could win $5,000!
Carrie, you're so very...
♪ Big Stupid to the rescue! ♫
So when a man says no he means yes, right?
I don' want to be a hobo; I want to be a nurse!
Grrrr I'm gonnna pay the check now. Grrrr
Oh you have your food already. How'd you do that?
[What's the matter? Oh, nothin', I'll be right back.]
I have to wipe him!
Remember, make the tongue the reward, not the rule!
Is that a girl, my lord, in a flatbed Ford, slowin' down to take a look at.. oh, uh...
Danny should come with his own tote.
Yeah, how do you like my theme music?
That's the last time I hire a pimp!
This hooker's just prostituting herself...
I did it again, Big!
'I haven't got any money !'
(slap) "You're lying !"
Damned student loan association !
"See this alley?" It's where you're gonna die.
"Why'd she keep calling me John?"
Uh! Camera 3? Get off the track! CAMERA 3! AAAGGGHHH!
Uh, Biggs? Don't laugh when I put on my footy pajamas, ok?
No ifs ands or butts!
See the further adventures of Danny and Bigs this fall on NBC!
Once again Big has saved Danny from a heterosexual experience.
Quick, move his head; he may have a spinal injury.
As a young man, Garrison Keillor was shunned by his friends.
Are you waiting for a bus ?
This is a great date. I always wanted to be nuzzled by a hobo.
5 years later....
Plop Plop! Fist Fist! Oh what a fight it is
I'm kind of a femme - my friends call me wormy.