522 - Teenage Crime Wave
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
(men running around the tower) *speedy car noises*... "Hey, i could get you into college!" "i could help you get a Pell grant" "You could get college credit for life experience!" You're earning a degree right now!" (chase continues)
Looking for Mr. Blandbar...
I'd like to KISS her, tuhahah!!!
*phone rings* "This is Jim Rockford. Leave a message and I'll get back to ya." "Jimmy, this is Angel! I'm in real bad trouble!"
Man, I gotta read the bible. Just a page!
I am on a total high about that window.
Doughy guys, buttery doughy guys...
Hey, did you see the undercover feed salesman? D'oh!
"Car comin'." Could only be the dogs. "Stop 'em, we'll look 'em over." See if they got any dogs.
D'oh, I hate people who park like that!
Bram Stoker's Car 54...
"I'd like to use your phone, if I may..."
- Well, I'll have to ask the hoodlums... OH!
Crosby, Stills & Hutch...
What say we drive over to the Amish farm and show 'em our buttons - HA!
I think we need some time apart...
Susan Hayward, in I WANT TO SHOWER!
Oh - Teen-age youths. As opposed to the teen-age elderly...
Jeez, didn't milk the cows for four days. Milk everywhere...
"You really hate me, don't you?"
Well, you're threatening to kill my mother. That throws cold water on my lust.
Do you have a touch tone crank phone?
Well either hit her or I have to get the phone!
"Meanwhile back at the Bob Evans Sausage Farm.. sausage harvest time."
"IT'S THAT THING AGAIN!!! WHAT DOES IT MEAN!?!?!???"
"Teen-age youths, as opposed to what, teen-aged seniors?"
Gypsy: "You know, all the best escapes have contacts at the Swiss border..."
Now's the time, son. Make your move!
You can kill 'em now! I sang like a bird!
Back to the Bible, gramps! Tell me more about the crocodiles! And that tying the ass to the tree thing...
"...And Moses tied his ass under the tree and walked ten miles..."
"Only thing I read are the comics. I need laughs." I heard Deuteronomy's a hoot!
"All dressed up and no place to go." Is that Shakespeare, Mike?
Glad this movie isn't in 3D Mike.
*Mike shields Crow's eyes*
Oh, you were incredible.
"You try and get away again and you're gonna get some lead."
Ooh, I've heard lead is bad for you.
"You will serve a term of five years..."
Until you are dead.
This is like an elderly Straw Dogs...
I hope he doesn't look at my fine washables...
You're gonna hafta get in line, there's a couple of cows ahead of ya...
I am on such a high about that window.
Go on. Have a 'Teenage Cry Wave.'
"I don't mean to rush ya', Ma'am. Uh... is this death gonna' take long? Thanksgiving and all..."
"Somewhere a deer is smiling."
"Oh, boy. Hot flash."
"The Golden Hitler Award!"
"I used to have cartilage!"
"C'mon in. I was just not talkin' to my wife."
"'Because you never get a second chance to make a first impression.'"
"Facts of Life Goes To Alcatraz!"
"Mr. and Mrs. Bridge read 'er the riot act!"
"Wow! 'Sex' and 'Buffum' in the same sentence!"
I think you lost your allegory, it's off the track.
Thank God we have radar!
Holy cow; did ya have Rod Serling over for dinner?
I will not be ignored Ben. Hold please.
Hey I escaped!
Who am I!?
“Anything special you want me to bring home Dad?” SWAT team.
You’re a slutty gun-moll.
And that’s for yelling “Help”.
What are you saying? Are you a sorceress, like all the other women?
Thelma and Louise and Steve.
"I was never very young, always grown-up." ♫But I'm younger than that now♫ (Nice Dylan reference!)
I'm dying in your son's pants.
Let me watch her die. I want to make faces as she writhes in pain!
My finger fits right in your wound here.
Yeah, that heart attack was down right stupid!
Terri: Yeah, manhunt.
Crow: I enjoy my sleazy-ness.
Okie dokie Mr. Vocabulary what does "pistol whip" mean?
Run!! I mean, hi.
Terri: I haven't cracked a Bible in a long time.
Tom Servo: Wow! Lots of love, Moses.
Doughy guy: I know just the place for a girl like you.
Mike: The back seat.
Looking for Mr. Blandbar.
Does not justify the means.
I, too, took a class in observatory maintenance!
There's that sound again! LEAVE OUR HOUSE! WHAT DO YOU WANT?
There's a whole other room in there!
She's dead on her feet!
Thank you, Officer Platitude!
"Is she making a double Nintendo?"
"A Golden Hitler Award!"
Don't mean to rush you ma'am - is this death going to take long? Thanksgiving and all...
Put your shoes on Grandma, we're almost at YOUR house.
"Get on that phone." - Request 'The Girl from Ipanema'.
Ohh, the turkey will be so dry...it will feel like eating a boot!
Hostage. Pasta? Hostage. Sausage??
Why don't they look. Tell me, why don't they look.
I gotta say this isn't anything like the time we had the Symbionese Liberation Army over here.
his suit is made of pressed oatmeal.
Oh, go ahead, let it out! Have a teenage cry wave!
Oooo, the Crotches of Madison County!
Slim Whitman, chauffer! Du-du-da-da-da-du-da!
Come on, I told you. Dinner, a movie and a mugging!
Come for the pictures of fish, stay for the house wine!
'I went to DeVry'
I think she's got more lines, ma'am, should I work the mouth?
Yes, now YOU can dance to the Bible!
Is that what you call a blasted heath?
"It's like something brought us together" -maybe my lack of personal boundaries!
Nice hinder son -- Thanks, Dad. -- I mean the the girl!
It's the floppy arm of the law!
"I'm afraid you're going down Kitten, HARD."
"I'll be there front row at your hanging."
Hi, I'm desperate, and I wouldn't hesitate to kill you!
[Don't you call me dirt!] I'm more like top soil!
At this point it's more of a teenage crime ripple.
Hey, maybe there's someone up here you can shoot in the face, Ted!
*BANG* "That was a gun!" - That was a cow!
Is she makin' a double Nintendo?
Watch this! When they're this full you just poke 'em. MUURRROOO!
Uh, Deuteronomy's a hoot...
Excuse me, are you the only woman in this bar?
What about the rights of that doughy old man?
♫Workin' on a sex farm...♫
Stop staring at me, you phone!
Answer the phone or the curtain gets it!
Don't worry, they'll never get through that trellis.
Don't forget to bring along that cute purse, Bernie.
He either loves her or he's hungry.
Then it's off to sunny Hawaii!!!
There, now I'm a pirate. Arrrgh.
Tonight, on Cryptic Hoodlum...
"How about you, baby? You go for his muscles??" Uhm... I'm more of a butt girl.
"Muh... ehrm... hhehm..." MITCHELL!!
"Get moving, big eyes!" Okay, fat ass!
I entered your mind child...I am the Dream Warrior...
"Daddy, help me please!" - I'm afraid you're going down, kitten. Hard.
I know- Let's play the QUIET game!
All cops take a course in observatory maintenance...
Best part is we jes leave him lyin' there, no paperwork! Woo-hoo-hoo!
Society didn't give me enough bullets!
"Did you have to shoot him right in the face, Ted?" "He came at me with his face. I panicked."
"It's that thing again! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!"
I listen to Snoop Doggy Dog!
Hey, this is a no-caper zone!
Can't we just have a normal Thanksgiving where we drink and don't talk to each other?
I'm not a violent man, but if you take my last stamp, I'll kill you.
Huh, they said they were gonna make this book into a movie but this is just...
Will ya look at that, the other half of the Black Dahlia.
"Made me see things the way they are." Chocolaty.
Plot Convenience News.
Here's the floppy arm of the law.
I'm mom now!
He's got an odd scream...
Lost my spot, now I gotta start over. In the beginning, God created...