603 - The Dead Talk Back
|Short - The Selling Wizard:|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Is somebody purring??
The selling revolution will not be televised!!
"The Loneliness of the Long Distance Dweeb."
"Well... I'm goin' home for lunch."
"Spooner, Wisconsin would never be the same."
"Dial M for Mundane."
"Complete History of Transistors? Oh, I'm in for the evening!"
"It was a bitter affair that ended briefly."
"Meanwhile, the Soviets were launching Sputnik."
"Hey, let's see some bottom-loading! Whoa!"
"Gentlemen, if you please..!"
"You filthy DEGENERATES!"
"...Manufacturers spend millions on package design!"
"And yet THIS is the result!"
Can we get back to our bleak, meaningless lives?
"What do you mean, release Patini?" ...Get him... Let him go. Oh. Thought it was something like that.
Uh, I'm going to have to take you to my house for further questioning.
Yeah, she wants me pretty much.
You WHAT?? Calling from a phone booth? Stop that!
Dress for movement!
I don't think I'll ever get callous to murder. Now where's the stiff?
And then the MOON came out, and it was like Jerry willed it!
Oh fine, smoking is bad and there's no other side. Real open-minded, Mike.
I had a story in Highlights!!
And my wife, came downstairs, her face was SPLIT.
"Hey my gum is loosin' it's flavor here."
"ZERO to SIXTY in about an HOUR."
"And the police immediately STROLL to the scene."
"Well gotta go get killed, I'm late...........Death waits for no one."
Adolf Hitler is, Knight Rider.
So, big deal... My stools float.
...meanwhile the Russians were launching Sputnik.
"Oh, I'm sorry! I forgot to tell you..." Mike: I'm made of liverwurst!
[We used to hunt together] He'd hunt me, and then I'd hunt him... It was a good system.
I hate it when weird guys have Mary Kay parties!
Now I'd like to ask Francis the talking mule a few questions...
Nudge, nudge, wink, wink. Know what I mean?
Friar Tuck's been fingered!
"And what's the first feature that makes a selling wizard?" Bosoms!
"Work it Frank. Sizzle it!"
And creepy AAA is there.
I'd ask them to leave but...they'd think I was racist!
"I'm not a medium." - I'm a petite!
"My halter top!" "He's always hogging the bathroom."
"I'm sorry I ate all my band candy."
"Snouts and knuckles"
"I think his hair is bermuda grass."
But don't put your tongue on it !
WHERE'S MY ICE CREAM!?!?!?!
"I guess you men see this every day." Actually, it has been a while since the last crossbow murder.
"Three glass front merchandising cabinets, to fit your individual needs." What if I need love?
Y'know not kneeing you in the groin is a constant struggle.
The pizza dominatrix!
I eat biscuits.
Maybe I should take a shower before I die.
"Lieutenant?" Kiss me--hard.
"Anything?" - No, still can't go sir.
"A metaphysician doesn't believe you're dead when you die." So he's not much help at an accident scene.
So.. big deal.. MY stools float.
I know... I'll smoke face down in my polyester sheets
NC-17... '50's Style!
"a method known as telekeenis" ... or telekinesis.
We've been married for 25 years, at least let me get to second base!
Tonight's episode: The Dead Go Fishing, with special guest star Robert Culp...
And remember to buy Ed McMahon's Budweiser Ice Cream! HI-YOOOOOOOOOOOO!
This balance of power keeps ice cream in check!
I started sharpening a curtain rod- and everything just snowballed...
"Now Renee has been on the other side for just a short time" -so she's probably still unpacking.
"It's rather difficult to explain" -but remember, I know more than you do.
"Henry I've known you a long time" -and not kneeing you in the groin is a constant struggle.
"Be quiet will ya?" -Pass the Dutch loaf!
And the police immediately stroll to the scene.
The first movie filmed entirely with flashlights.
they caught her in a tryst with Alistor Crowley
so? big deal, my stools float.
What? Invisible army? I don't see any, come along!
Cause it's a RAZORBLADE IN THE GLASS!
"Me?" You? "Who am I?" Frankly I've forgotten.
Certain actors own their roles. Aldo Farnese IS Mr. Krasker.
The Pizza Dominatrix!
Fine. Fine. Everyone pick on the devil.
I just had to step outside for a fresh of breath air...
God, I love water...I love it too much...