604 - Zombie Nightmare
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"Take a good look, Frank. There's your killer."
Mine, sir? You mean it?
This is her big scene.
"It's a long, sad old story Frank, from before I was on the force ... "
I had this great cave, ya see, and ...
I'm not an OON-believer, I'm an agnostic!
So, then, the Fonz comes in and goes "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh".
Dyslexia strikes the scoreboard industry!
This is Dickens' view of the suburbs.
"Hank Peters - Italian Grocer"
" Ewww...it's stuck in his hinder holster !!! !!!!....... *sniff*sniff* "Where'sa thata been?!!"
The plot is furthered by a good parking space!
Auditions for the band FEAR
Hey, that's my wrist!
Look! She put her breasts on!
Maybe somebody should resuscitate Jimmy"
"this is much better than the intensive care unit."
That's an odd nativity scene.
God, I miss my tights.
He's flashing back without us!
If I had a girlfriend, she'd be sitting right there.
Can I get a booster chair for my friend?
I'm sorry I was thinking again.
Oh, he put on a skort!
Taste my steel! ...please.
I'm gonna go BUY SOME MORE VERMICELLI!
Voodoo stuff here, voodoo stuff there, a pinch of Crystal Lite...
Why do you hate me, sir?
Bow down to my nipples!!
I don't wanna feel again the worm!
Well, ironically they end up busting the zombie for tax evasion!
Yo-Yo Ma goes camping.
Oh, Garrison Keillor's laughing!
This guy's dead, what the hell!?
Nathan, quit hitting me!
Ho! Every zombie nightmare I have, I'm naked...at a hockey game!
"Aaaah!" "Oh my God man!" "C'mon!"
C'mon! Turn the tape over! ... DUR-DA-DURDUR! DUR-DA-DURDUR!
"Hey! The case is closed!"
Long Live The Case.
The word "truncheon" springs to mind ...
"You may have noticed ..."
I'm Adam West.
GRADY ... This Fall on NBC.
Whoa, John Cage on the soundtrack.
Hey hoser, take off.
Oh, this is from the new Sinatra album.
Mr. Zombie, I just need you to sign this deposition. It'll just take a second.
(Zombie voice) 🎶What would you think if I sang out of tune? Would you stand up and walk out on me?🎶
(Zombie voice) 🎶Some enchanted evening...🎶
If Mr. Blackstone was a zombie, he'd kill her just for that skirt.
"I'd stake my semiprofessional reputation on it."
(Zombie voice) Come back and shag some flies for me.
And you are completely dead, sir. Am I right about that?
"Now.... stand back..." -- for Dutch Masters!
🎶She's a small town girl on a Saturday night....🎶
Mike: Hmm. I wish I could understand the lyrics.
Tom: (in Minnesota accent) Maybe it's for the young generation.
Why, I'd know that batch anywhere!
The synthesizer signals suspense!
I can't do this before breakfast, I'm not like you.
You're looking for one, large, angry person.
-- Maybe I AM looking for someone like that . . .
There goes a great tennis player
That's the Canadian health care system. Bush warned us about this!
Hello, 1 900 spank me ?
The Lutheran church ladies will be SO surprised in the morning.
Are you mad, sir?
"My religion forbids interspecies mating."
So...she's not a Unitarian.
The main punk looks like John Taylor of early Duran Duran
Oh, is your Batmobile in the shop? Shut up!
Cut! Cut! Tia, you're supposed to be in your underwear for this scene!!!
"I gave it to them."
"You gave it to them?"
I was bored. What do you want?
"They all traced back to members of the academy."
Whom I'd like to thank.
It says, "Let's go"... Nope. No. I guess not...
Eeewww - it's stuck in his hinder-holster!
And Tia Carrere - we may have to pay attention, here!
That's where she keeps Meat Loaf...
Look, it's Lisa Bonet, on any given day...
If he kills her, I'll lose my faith in zombies forever.
They're missing the forest for the trees with this whole sleazy chick thing!
A young Joe Pepitone ponders his fate.
That's a big family!
Well, chunky guys attract people. It's a known given fact.
Crow--Wow so hell's right there?!?!
Tom-- Yeah that's y u should call first.
"'Night, Captain." Night cap?! Did someone say night cap? Ok!
It takes a MAN to wear Farrah Fawcett hair!
Oh God, I never wanted to see this era again. Hide me.
Hank Peters: Italian Grocer
You gotta leave room for liquor.
You're gonna protect the Twist & Creme Corporation, aren't you boy?
Let's follow our leader as he heads down to Payless Shoes
Ah, the drama of the gifted child.
You know, I'm really disappointed that ABBA weren't on the soundtrack.
No, not really. I'm just killing time.
Miss Jane Pittman!
I just realized something we're not going to show the audience!
That's a really trivial use of her dark powers.
Geez, you victim's are so touchy.
Zombie could never hit a curve.
Disco's hot and better than ever.
Please rain so I can leave.
These young men sound so angry.
Oh yes, listen to them.
Young people have a lot to say through their music.
"George Romero's Casey at the Bat"
Sorry? Let's talk BATMAN, huh?
That one...she's not afraid of silence.
So...how does this further the plot?
How does it further the game of tennis, for that matter?
Taste my steel...please.
There may be some discharge.
An actor conveys chilliness.
Hank Peters, Italian grocer.
I see Garrison Keillor is laughing.
What is up with Mark Trail?
These Young Life Weekends are getting out of hand.
And then, the doctor found Lady Macbeth wandering in the halls to assuage her guilt...
"Let me guess. Assault."
No, a pepper. Hahahaha.
I'll call Burt Ward. I know HE'S not busy.
"Good night, 'cap."
Nightcap? Oh, don't mind if I do!
"Peter never did any dust."
He was a crackhead!
She must have studied under Jamie Lee Curtis.
I just have a much different image of Canada.
"Tonight is Tim Burton's last night on Earth..."
"Let's get this straight; we'll make a Batman movie & not call Adam West..."
"Ah; so Canada has a south too."
"Suddenly The Twist and Creme seemed a much darker place."
"Errm; anybody think about resuscitating Tony or..."
"Get off her; you're going to kill her!"
"Son; go rescue her!"
"Okay; so he's mad that he's losing but that's the way he likes it?"
"Well then everything works out."
No-one can milk a shot like Adam West.
Man, he had more expressions when he wore a mask!!!
Whoa, look at all the candles. What'd they do, loot a pier one?
No Mike you're right. This is either America ten years ago or Canada today.
Oh, I saw Fist when they opened for Badfinger.
Virgin Steele: WE...ARE... COM... ING... THERE'S...NO... STOP... PING... US!
Tom Servo:- BLUGH... PLEH... WEHH... WAA!
Virgin Steele: YEA! YEAAA! YEA! YEAAAAAAAAAAAA!!
Crow: Oh, why must they scream so?
She's hiding behind A WINDOW!
"Just let him get to first. He never gets to first. His parents are here."
"You know, if you've got a zombie on the team, you gotta play him in right field."
"I don't think fingerprints are actually labeled like this."
YOU SHOOOOOOOT MEEEEEEEE!
The early morning call to voodoo.
This is SO much better than the intensive care unit at the hospital.
What could THEY do?
"Soundtrack available in cutout bins everywhere."
"We've taken the Sears™ Auto waiting room and turned it into Headquarters."
"What stage of grieving is this?"
"It's the goofy stage."
"Bodybuilder by day, Trappist monk by night."
"How come there's no pictures of Italians on the wall?"
"Ba-da-dee, ba-da-dah, ba-da-dee... ♪ ♬'St. Elmo's Fire!' ♬ ♪"
"Mentos™: The Freshmaker."
"Oh, look over there: The Utne Reader Editorial Board."
"Marcia Wallace in the stands today, and here's George Wendt: he's battin' .210..."
Okay lady, we need our payment
yeah, big 711 item, provolone
First you kill a guy, then you're throwin pasta at your mom. What next.
Mom, I just killed a guy! Gimme a break, ok??!!
Uh... Anybody think about resuscitating Tony?? er not?? errr???
Aww I forgot tampons... Eh I should be ok for tonight.
"Oh, why must they scream so?"
"It's the rage, honey."
Who is this, Death Mask featuring Olivia Newton-John?
As a coconut, sir, I'm offended.
Oh, Zombie Chiropractor.
Ever since dad got murdered, things have been great!
It's just like A Separate Peace except they didn't leave a dead guy in the street.
C'MON! TURN THE TAPE OVER!
She's dressed for ladies night at Shenanigans.
Is she half shee-ee-ee-ee-ee-ee-eep?
Woooo! Let's go to Perkins! Woohoo!
Ya know Mike, your right, this is either America ten years ago or Canada today.
"So, what you think? Double suicide?" - No, thanks.
"OH so CANADA has a SOUTH too."
"I guess I'll need more tape than I thought."
"Maybe he should put the speakers on the inside of his car."
CROW: "I'm the NRA."
SERVO: "Alright, hand over the TOBLERONE."
"You're listening to THE LIGHT FM, and now it's FIST."
"I'm to DREAMY to remember groceries."
You know he did kill that creep for her, she could at least thank him.
Ha Ha, Dis won makes me laugh.
And the score is, Love, Love.
Steve is such a kiss up. And I think he's taking paper clips home!!
"THAT'S THE BEST HIT I EVER SEEN!!" Yea well you're FIVE, okay?!
Holy dee buckets, its working!
And a lime in de coconut.
Oh look, she put her breasts on.
What the... This isn't a very effective cemetery.
Why's he crab walking?
"It's a little ominous in here." A little too ominous. "Lot of cars in here." A little too a lot of cars in here.
No one can milk a shot like Adam West.
John Goodman on Hume Cronyn's back could outrun this guy!
Pride of the zombies!
"I don't WANNA feel again the Worm!"
"Ok, if that's Leif Garret, then I am LEAVING!"
"Ever since Dad got murdered, things have been GREAT!"
"Oh, I saw FIST when they opened for BADFINGER."
"I say let 'em come!" - I'll throw PASTA at 'em!
George Romero's "Casey At The Bat"
You're right, Mike: This is either America 10 years ago or Canada today.
"Twist & Crème security force"
"I was supposed to get milk, wheat germ, what else.... WHY YOU GOTTA WAKE ME UP SO EARLY, MOM??!"
I don't wanna feel again the worm
(Adam West kicks the guy in the head) "Oh that was easy for him he just pretended it was Tim Burton."
"Office temps cut loose."
"He's wearing jockey for her!"
"Did you have to order me a corn dog sir?"
So many women tennis players wish they were that guy.
"I hope my pirate meal comes with onion rings? "Take me away 7-UP."
NOO! NO, NO! UGH...Well, that's over--AAAGHH!
Excuse me, I have to become even more unappealing.
"I need blood from a live animal..." - An dee lime in dee coconut!
Great. I joined the big brother program for 1 day....
Fight choreography by Dom DeLuise.
Don't worry, his area will protect him. Oh, maybe not.
That was easy for him, he just pretended it was Tim Burton!
How ya diddly-doin'!
Deeead hunk in the middle of the rooooad!
"This is a big garage." - See? She's not that dumb.
"You're not gonna do any better in this town baby." -No town is that small.
(sniff sniff) You were the bestest Batman ever. Goodbye Caesar Romero.
Wow, so hell's right there!
That's why you should call before you dig.
Your worst nightmare. A cop with a learners permit.
He's a rebel. Look at him cross that center line.
Son, cover the nipples, the neighbors have been complaining!
Oh Motorhead,I have their new collection of Cole Porter tunes!
So he's mad because he's going to loose,but that's the way he likes it?
Oh,well than I guess everything works out!
Hey, Tony i'm being robbed again---oh
Yea mon- parasail, jet skii- best on the islan'
It's Rasta- the cooky dread clown!
You know Tom, as your parole officer, I need to caution you about this...
It's a sensible rave...
"And three and four and JAZZ HANDS, HA!" -Tom Servo
"I like the ting sound, Hehe uh" -Crow T. Robot
They're being stalked by Depeche Mode. Ughhh.
If they start kissing, there's going to be hair everywhere.
I saw Fist when they opened for Badfinger.
[knocks on car window] Hey! We're doing a scene out here.
C'mon, don't use the EXIT!
He's being stalked by Depeche Mode!
Bow down to my nipples!
*sniff sniff* Where has that been?
....and they want me to bathe...
I like da ting sound.
Look at all the candles, what did they do? Loot a Pier 1?
Jeez her son dies and she gets really bossy...
MUST REGISTER FOR SEMESTER
Pool cleaner ma'am. Just a ph check and I'll be outta your way.
Um, i think i'll walk down certain death lane.
"what is she doing here?" What are WE doing here??!!
Uh, about your voice...
Peters?! Hank Peters, Italian grocer.
Larry Mondello as "The Babe"
It's the Kids In The Hall.
Must you superlative everything?
HEY! Hey. hey. HEY!
I had a different image of Canada.
Yes, I said "Batty"