608 - Code Name Diamond Head
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"How many people died for your Swiss bank account?"
A lot! We don't have exact figures yet!
"Code name: Tree."
He should branch out.
That's no priest! That's Lovejoy!
Next up: Freaks of Nature!
There. I am the very model of a modern major general.
🎶We didn't start the fire....🎶
I need to call Dad. It's been too long.
Enough back story.
Roy Thinnes is locked outside for life!
The tree may be in paradise. "What the hell does that mean? over."
Admiral Sid Dithers!
Code Name: Interruptus...
"How was your date with Madonna?"
"Action Ken™ doll is there!"
"Then your class ring is buffed, and polished."
"Paragon Cable! Just here to drill through your hardwood floors."
"Look, just take your last paycheck. I'm sorry, but you ate out of the bus tub."
"The World of Suzie Wong: CPA."
"And the crowd goes wild."
"He feels a stirring."
"Scientists aren't sure what this represents."
[snort] [snort] [snort] ♬ ♭ "A sprinkle a day... Keeps odor away..." ♭ ♬
Back to the exciting tuna store!
One more minute and he gets his advanced beginner certificate.
Do try the ice cubes.
Be sure to come back. I'm freezing you a special ice cube.
Isn't that that guy who was on that show?
"This is how it feels to ride on the Ferris Wheel."
It's this disappointing.
"The very finest ears."
The small of his neck is nice, too.
little mauie wowie to start things off
An elaborate plan to SOFTEN the military's clothes!
What can I doodly-do you for?
When you're proud of your crack, and it shows.
WOW! That's a big-ass phone!
Now who's that guy? Oh, that's me...
Bell-bottoms cleaned daily...
Hey, you tryin' to give me the hi-hat?
"The bells of Saint MURDER!"
I'll just call her and find out what the whole ring/wax thing means.
"Too soon, the rides are over." The lawsuits begin.
A wheel slices into the crowd, killing three!
"What's this?" Evil! "Homemade cakes." Oh.
Is this an action sequence?
Men are fools dear, remember that.
Thank God methane rises
I know a thing or two about a thing or two...
It's hard to organize a junta in vacation land.
A salute to careful shaving.
I have your gum...
Come on - we paid to see the WHOLE GUY!
Gee, they fenced-in the entire ocean!
- That's the smallest pool table I've ever seen!
- Or the biggest women...
Quinn Martin considered this his most personal film.
I'M RICHARD HARRIS!
Looks like he's got about... ohh... fifteen cents in his pocket, there...
Go in peace and live no more.
"Anything to declare?" I declare my genius.
Ward, dear, will you see what little Elvis is up to?
'The Eiger Sanction' had more Hawaiian locations than this!
♪♫Shout! Shout! Let it all out!♪♫
♪♫Here we are now, Entertain us! I feel stupid, And contagious!♪♫
Vatican II: The Final Reckoning.
Don't you sass your Aunt Mary!
"Code Two: Tree may be in Paradise." "the hell does that mean? over..."
Tonight on generic t.v. movie!
Father What-A-Waste over here...
It's almost poignant how they're trying to set up a series.
Premature flute music!
So I put in a match stick and it's foolproof!
It doesn't do anything but at least he knows it's in there!
Be quiet, Aunt Mary!
Hey, TV's Frank named that boat! - E-Au-Kaieeee!
♪♫ and an awful lot of lettuce! ♪♫
Somebody told me I had the personality of one of these so I'm curious.
" British, Irish, Australian..." - French, Italian, Poppy Seed, Hot Ranch.
"What the hell was I in? I know I know me."
I smell Hai Karate something fierce!
You and your chaperone will travel to what is apparently Hawaii!
"First she feels the cake."
Then she rubs it into her hair!
This the fairground, where the fair is held. "Any questions so far?"
The women are excited to see the word 'member'.
It's hard to organize a junta in vacation land.
I'm not gonna tell you what happens. I'm just gonna say someone's luggage gets lost!
That guy's a sinner....they're all sinners-
Well, this is a very nice place!
I could see why families would want t- GAHHHHHHH!!!
Actual Lovejoy footage.
He's wearing Mary Tyler-Moore's pantsuit!
You spent your nickel, we're done!
The family of shame!
Watch the boy on the left, his heart's about to explode! Wait...
And the Oak Ridge Boys take the stage! "El-vi-ra...."
Ew, he's got a Jackie Mason body
'No-one can explain why Father is 85'
No one should make love to this man.
"Judging cakes ought to be fun." But this woman sucks the joy out of it.
Oh, not your gall stones, Henry.
"Here the folks are looking on."
Let's get busy in the car.
There's a rattlesnake in my phone!
Let me guess. The last words in this movie are gonna be 'Ah-ha ha-ha ha...ha!'
'This is SO almost Mitchell.' 'It's about 50 pounds short of Mitchell.'
Alright! We snuck into the drive-in with four people in the trunk!
"It's quite like a little family, really." In that we all drink and hurt each other.
Switch to The Name Of The Game, will ya? Oh, I forgot; it's the wrong decade.
'The intrigue thickens.' 'I can't look away.'
Stand by for mild interest on the high seas!
"One excuse! COME ON!" Uh, my mom said I couldn't? My dog ate my homework, uh?
Let's do some nitrous.
Is it just me or did nothing happen?
You know, in retrospect, the luggage scene was really fascinating.
"Let's take this place apart." Let's put the ceiling where the floor is.
Oliver Twist had more Hawaiian locations than this movie.
Mrs. Bates wants her hair back.
I'm gonna sit this scene out, if you don't mind.
I don't feel fresh, Johnny.
"Damn, I'm on speaker-phone!"
"I didn't know you could cook." I didn't know you could eat.
Hey, hey, hey, that's the director's coke!
Ted Turner in Frenzy.
Jenny Craig, put me in reverse!
"He knows who I am, and he knows who you are." And he knows who he is.
Rosie O'Donnell in The Gauntlet.
"This is a jet plane." Where's the corn go?!
Pickles pack the stands for the pickle races!
"Brother Bob is interested in the butterfly exhibit." Too interested.
Tonight on "Generic TV Movie"...
Rope had more Hawaiian locations than this film!
Ew, he's got a Jackie Mason body!
Do you have any canned items?
Captured pilots are paraded before the citizens! Women are excited by seeing the word 'Member'!
This is a job for Regular Guy!
Looks like he's got, oh, about 15¢ in his pocket.
Ah, you only rent holy water...
Hey, I cracked their code! I'm pretty sure it's called Diamond Head.
"It's time for lunch!" Let's go eat something grey.
"They rounded up every Jimmy Buffet Fan on the island."
"THE COAST GUARD,for men who are to chicken to join the NAVY..."
" Give everyone an ice cube on me !!!"
"Well it's been nice bein' here in downtown FARGO, but I should be getting back to HAWAII..."
"Hey you tryin' to give me the high hat?"
"CARROTS, CARROTS, I love CARROTS !!!!!!!!"
There is debt involved now, the inturiuge thickens.
And put the Campfire Girls on "standby".
Thats not a keg you idiot.
Like a bird, Like a plane, Like an idiot!
I gotta pick up a can of tampons for my girlfriend.
Tonight, on generic tv movie.
Tonight's episode: No Soup with Buffet.
He promised Sid and Nancy he'd stop by.
Enjoy the cocaine, Father!
Code Name: Cubic Zirconia Head
If those pants were any tighter they'd be behind her!
She was going to name her boat "The Stereotype", but she's decided on "Dragon Lady"
Ah, urinal cakes...my favorite!
Ugh, people gotta start buttoning their shirts in this movie!
TONIGHT!!! One of these three contestants will find out WHERE THEY'VE SEEN THIS GUY!!!
You said you had a cabin! This is just property!
Oh! This looks like a good place to put up a roadside poison gas stand, don't ya think?
He lives in Hawaii but somehow has a furnished room in St. Paul.
-He's going as Rip Taylor.
-I'm a general, ha!
This song is all about how he hates Jack Lord.
"Anythin to declare?" I'm Lovejoy.
Tonight on a very special Ravi Shenkar - P.I.
"The blue ribbon goes to a girl." - THE COWS ARE FURIOUS!
Here is a tractor. It's much like the one Bob's father has ... except this one doesn't have father's arm stuck in it.
This is a jet plane. Wonder what it would be like to fly it ... over Cambodia, secretly maintaining plausible deniability.
Grazing in grass is a gas baby........ can you dig it........
Hitler's Death Car!
That's either the world's worst haircut or the world's worst wig.
His head's gone, stop rubbing!
I want you to go all out! Use the station wagon!!
I'm ODing on intrigue!
Ah, Mr Handbag, once again I see you're not on the carousel yet.
Ah, Mr Jesus, you have a nasty habit of surviving.
Later these moths turn up in the mouths of Bob's victims.