614 - San Francisco International
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
You’re BALD, aren’t cha?
Be sure to pray at the airport of your choice.
It's neat how they decorated the airport in sort of an airplaney motif.
And nobody doesn't like Sarah-Lee.
I want my Maypo.
Where'd your kid get those new glasses?
Okay, Senator Stinkypants.
Oh Davey, if you like vegetarian there's a restaurant right down there. Great vegetarian.
Sir, I'm losing control of the plane and-..
Real reasonable too!
Would the esteemed senator please SCOOTCH OVER?
"Uh Davey, I need to know where your dental records are..."
I gotta get a hold of myself. I was on the twelve level of Dungeons and Dragons and now there's blood on my knife!
"Okay to call the flight, Ross?" Sure, call the flight Ross, what do I care.
My Job. My way. Mylanta.
"The Senate committee, a couple of congressmen."
Ah, let 'em crash!
I wouldn’t know that he didn’t say that he might not be here still
“I’ll explain it to you again”...Your a loser and we’re sending you away
♬ She gets too hungry for trans-substantiate...♪
I'm not wearing a toupée.
"And he told me what *I* could do..." Mostly character roles.
It's King Friday music!
"There's a kid flyin' that..."
- Well, shoot 'im down!
Do you have a question for my face?
But you refuse to even learn about Wink Martindale!!
I'm starting to doubt you're a real priest...
That was the old model. You're flying the new model which is a lot more complicated.
...and some elves are transporting Nazis to the Moon.
Child of a messy divorce on Runway 2!
That guy is one of the best lookers on in the business!
I wonder if Pernell will be older than his dad in this movie, too.
Little Joe and I will try to rope the plane.
Filmed in Panel Vision.
San Francisco International Airport!
Where the big B actors roar!
I'll wait here an smirk.
When did your kid get those new glasses?
"There's a guy dressed like a priest..." ...Walked into a bar.
Do you have anything to do with JUDAS Priest?
"All you've gotta do is get your husband on the line." Ask him if his refrigerator's running.
"Are you there yet?" Yes, I'm here! I answered the phone!
Let me restate, sir, that you are a kindergarten baby, you wash your face in gravy, wrap it up in bubblegum and mail it to the Navy!
Excuse me, uh, you're under arrest. I'm just gonna take you to the federal building there.
Just try to keep your wings parallel to the horizon -"No don't do that! OH GOD!!"
"This movie has really raised my awareness of airports."
"This movie just staggers from one commercial break to another."
"Insert tab A into B movie."
"I've got two words for you, kid: foster care."
"See all of those people down there, Davey? They're getting divorced because of you."
"And the subject of today's political debate is: Politics."
When I tell you to, I want you to pull it half way out. No! No! The throttle!
"Radio provided by Playskool™."
"Dave, are you familiar with reality?"
"This hippie's straight out of Brigadoon."
"Sorry, Guys, I-- I forgot my Thermos™ of gin."
"We've gotta' close the beaches!"
"Hold the pickles, hold the lettuce. Special deplaning orders don't upset us..."
"Did you ever see Clu Gulager and Evonne Goolagong with The Groovie Ghoulies in the Gulag Archipelago?"
♬ ♮ "What I am is what I am is what I am is--" ♮ ♬
I think this is the restored second unit director's cut...
Oh, man - Another stack of hundreds. I just need change for a ten!
"I'll find somewhere to put them."
They could stay at my house!
Here's your script. You'll be playing 'Black Woman On Plane.'
See all those people down there? Those are the people you've disappointed.
DUR-HAY, you little...
*krrr* Uh, Davey, climb out onto the wing. We're going to switch planes, okay?
*krrr* Uh, missiles locked on, ready to terminate.
Just wait 'til we go to series!
So do the Jesuits carry guns too?
I ate all the Frusen Glädjé
Honey, I met Bob Dole since we've separated.
One pill makes you larger and...
Aggressive stewardess recruiting.
Geez, they overbooked the credits.
"You know something, Cliff?" Rolos are my favorite candy.
You've never even met Mamie Eisenhower have you? Well, HAVE YOU!?
"We just got a message. All of your mothers died. JUST KIDDING!"
We're into deep TV movie now.
This is alarming.
Now, pretend you're Buddy Hackett and Mickey Rooney...
No... No... Too dumb...
Now, they have enough for a Streisand ticket! Well... maybe not...
Hold her face up to the radio...
Y'know, all the church will do is move this guy to another parish...
Anybody wanna get high?!
- 'Leave me alone, your suffocating me!' Like that?
You don't remember shoving him at the counter, hitting him with a 'Marathon' bar?
"Hi, I'm not in this."
He's eatin' a big bearclaw, could take awhile...
"Davy..." - The Luftwaffe called...
I hope Van Johnson didn't stack my locker...
Can we see the end of SIX PACK, now?
God, there are CREDITS all over the runway1
I'm a pilot! I'm not used to pressure!
I've never spanked a member of the Ponderosa.
Hey, you know what? I'll pick up that Tab! I'd run a Tab... all over mah body! Hey, whaddya say we split that Tab?
Well, there'll always be Battlestar Galactica. That'll never be cancelled.
You know, Jesus was a hippie...
Stewardess: Place your pillow on your lap and place your face in your pillow.
Press until you no longer move.
Davey, these are federal agents...they are what you young people call bad asses.
Ladies and gentlemen!! The PARENTS of the Beatles!!!!!
"There's one more thing I want you to remember."
You're a bad and evil person.
If you wanna die.
I'm gonna shave my back!
You're gonna die! Down there!
You'll never catch me, coppers!
Wanna go see the vroom-vrooms?
If I could only find some thread. ...HOLY COW!
"Request taxi back to the gate."
"And I'll have time to think it over. Carefully."
You'll say yes!
"You're going to get a divorce."
Yes, and I don't want custody.
He's Papa Smurf!
Toupee and Grayweave. They're cops!
Tsk, tsk, Lucas Tanner!
Look, I'll go along with this hostage thing, but this constant banter...
Ah, I don't really love you. I mean we all said things we didn't mean. I don't expect you to marry me.
AH, THE ALIEN!
Looks like a dense smug rolling in.
No one in the airport loves me!
Sheesh, what a mess! You go to Arby's a lot, don't you?
Well, hey! Somebody left a pie tin on the fence! It's perfectly good!
Kind of a TV movie Mt. Rushmore!
Aw, shoot! My face is still there!
So convenient to have a Hostage Inn right near the airport.
Wait a minute. I married David Hartman.
I'll miss my neorenaissance lifestyle, and my windbreaker.
She's wearing appliance green.
Fred Garvin: Male Prostitute
What did I do with my career?!?
He never kissed me like THAT
Well, hello! I just have to sashay across the airport; I'll be back - bye!
Uh, sir, this is a highly experimental air craft controlled by your mind. That is NOT a good idea!
Here's your script --- you'll be playing "Black Woman on Plane."
Wasn't he the little girl in The Cowsills?
"I'm not looking for jokes." I am looking for some pot though... any idea where...
Now I'm gonna play tricks on the Tri-Lateral Commision.
Mom, why is the music so poignant?
Dill is a good spice! I will not have it maligned!
I'm guessing people in first class get to cushion themselves with people in coach.
"I'll explain it again. It's just that sometimes married people...." Break up because of their kids.
Eat my dimples, OK?
That's the EPA's private jet.
Man walking through- "Hi, I'm not in this."
"Anyone starts towards this car; this girl's in big trouble." She'll be pregnant?
I can't wait til Reagan fires us.
"Just pay attention and do what I tell you." You'll auger into the bay.
"I don't know how to thank you." Well, you hold him and we'll punch him.
Which belt should I use...
What? No...too dumb.
You could cut the tension with a dull object.
My lunch, my way.
Serum. The new CD from Rush.
Ah, that was a très bien merde.
"The runway's on the ground, Davey-boy."
Why is he holding her hostage?
Oh well- that's God's work...
I just got a message: All of your mothers died. Just kidding! Haha!
"Had it been real....some of us might not be here now." Let go of my hand.
I'm beginning to doubt you're a priest.
I gotta get you my depression class.
I hope Im dead, cause my pants are full.
Why the gun, father?
"Now, when I tell you to, I want you to pull it halfway out." - No, no! The throttle!
No, I'm not the boy whose upset about the divorce.
Tab Hunter: hunting down people who don't pay their tabs.
There's a New Testament in town.
Wouldn't it be ironic if Pernell died in a fiery crash?
Okay, well there ya go I'm gonna split off here Davy.
Eat it, it's good.
It's Pernell's elaborate trick to demonstrate the need for bathroom phones!
Yay! Clu! Clu! Clu! Yay! Black Guy! Black Guy! Black Guy!
San Francisco International Airport, where the great B-actors roar...
"My job. My way." Mylanta.
Jeez, they've whipped themselves into a state of mild concern.
Thanks, Bartholemew Cubbins!
Suddenly, I AM Starbuck!
Radio provided by Playskool.
Now son, scotch is a good breakfast drink.....
I wish this film was in color...
This makes me yearn for a 5 dollar hot dog...
Get your act together! Just read Catcher In The Rye and deal with it!
I don't really love you....I think we all said things we didn't mean....I don't expect you to marry me.....
This is what lonely people did before scifi conventions.
They were gonna make me God, but I was too good lookin'!
Davey, all those people down there are getting divorced because of you.
Davey, you're gonna meet a man in a black robe wanting to play chess with you...
He's a made-for-TV hippie.
That's why the savior is a tramp.
As a pilot, I'm not used to pressure.
Sure, call the flight Ross, see if I care.
I'm Ziggy Stardust!
Uh, Davey I need to know where your dental records are.
This movie just staggers from one commercial break to another...
RUSH ALBUMS!! WHOOOO!!
Well I was just sittin' there when this... (suit? cat? dude?)
Mr. Woodruff looks like a roll-on deodorant.
And thank you TOKEN ...
It involved my bottom...
Wana go see the vroom-vrooms?
Pardon my hipness
Shut up, Iris.
The answer, my freind, is blow it out your ass!
The faces of those you've wronged will be floating up on your left.
Oh, and uh, Davey, when you die there's only a dark nothingness awaiting you.
See all those people down there? Those are all the people you've disappointed, Davey.
Stuffing your face with DIET GUM!
Airport movies are like the watering holes of B-movie actors.
Insert Tab A into B movie.
Ladies and gentlemen, the parents of the Beatles!
There's a Grace Slick on the runway.
Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have rubbed Pernell's toupee all over my naked body.
There's a new Testament in town!
"That's the 747. It's really groovy." Are you high?
Oh, he's a made-for-TV hippy!
"I want to check that story with Conrad." It's called Heart of Darkness.
Even the sky is brown in this movie.
I never spanked a member of the Ponderosa.
Pernell, your hairpiece is stuck in the door!
"Director of Photography Andrew Jackson A.S.C." Old Hickory.
You know, Tab Hunter was Troy Donahue at one point.
I made-for-TV love you.
Aaaaah! It's the devil, I'm in hell!!!
How do I get the pee smell out?
Where's George Kennedy in all of this?
I like it when you call me Joan.