617 - The Sword and the Dragon
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Sooo... they walked from China to Finland?
Pudding, lots of pudding...
Why did you lick me, son?
This movie has the same plot as "A Boy Named Sue"
Now for the best part of my plan: RETREAT!
Bravo respects the rights of the artist.
“Why do you quarrel so!!”..Somethin’ to do...
“I shall drive Kalin and his wicked Tugars from the gates of our city once and for all and rid our land of those traitors who would betray it”...Ok! See ya after work!...
“Grieve not sweet one, grieve not. We do not part for long”...I know, that’s what I’m grieving about...
"You’re a man after my own heart Ilja”...You wanna start a band?...
Chestnut Grey is like the Chevy Suburban of horses...
“This was a time of giants and dragons”...and low inflation...
I warn you, I've got a weird scene going on down here...
Not for me!
It's kind of a long way, Dad. Is there a bus or something?
I'm cold and I'm wet and I wanna go in!
Admit it, we're lost!
I want to go to ART SCHOOL!
This is Arthurian in the sense that Arthur with Dudley Moore is Arthurian.
Here's a soap sliver! Please, spare my life!
🎶 The hills are in flames....🎶
"You are correct." -- Sir.
(Minnesota accent) Oh, the ice seams safe. Let's drive our pick-up on to it.
"Feed him well, mind you. Look after him." -- Spread some papers. Give him a chew toy.
(On screen: The Sword and the Dragon) When one sword tries to get along with an incorrigible dragon.
Tom: But I was about to enter a deep level of (if you know what the hell he is saying, tell me so I can edit this).
Crow: Servo, you have entered a deep level of HbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbBbB.
Aww, the poor little guy's just scared.
Ilya's plan moves into phase nine!
Woodstock 2 ends in tragedy...
The wind demon has killed a lot of people, but it's all in good fun!
Well, let's get you far enough away so they won't hear the gunshot.
The sky is as clear as Gary, Indiana.
Dragon Slayer 2: The Uncalled For
He's got Dick Butkus intensity.
Okay, we get it... the cycle of freakin' life.
He's the Finnish Oscar Wilde.
And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish Moses of soul!
Thou shall seek shelter in the south-west corner of thy basement.
I had my fingers crossed the whole time!
Just two guys?
This is a free festival NOW, man!
He's really into this like a dog thing isn't he.
Ouch, I cut myself.
... and when ever I see a falcon. "Uhhh... something."
"Unsaddle all the horses!" ... "Okay!"
August Strindberg's Backdraft.
I love the smell of dragonbreath in the morning...
Whoo! Warmer than I thought it was out here!
But hovering over this once-happy land like an evil cloud was..." George Clinton?
I've never hit a thing! It's astounding!
This scene sure brings the movie into sharp focus.
Little Thelonius Falcon, you get down from there right now!
Why did you lick me, son?
There goes my laundry money, ya dick weed!
You're outta order! The whole damn CASTLE's outta order!
Come to Uncle Mongol!
A Gene Simmons boat!
The royal pants!
And so, ZZ Top was born!
No! No lick.
Uh, he's the artist FORMERLY known as Radiant Prince.
You know, sometimes I wake up and I feel just like this guy looks.
Oh, this is downtown Death.
At least I saved this stick!
"First product of the Acme Company."
"This is... Arthurian in the sense that Arthur with Dudley Moore is Arthurian."
"Oh, and I made Pudding-In-A-Skull."
"The mass effects of watching Pauly Shore's last movie."
"There's the little matter of an unauthorized fax!"
"Wi-Trex™ simulated film snow. Ask for it by name."
"Ohh... Whoops. Dropped a cufflink."
"I'm not gay!"
♫ ♭ "No IIIIII... don't wanna' fall..." ♭ ♫"
"That was one high colonic! Yes, Sir I feel like a new man!"
" 'I'm thirsty I'm thirsty!' Next I suppose you'll want somethin' to eat! I've never had anything to drink and I've done just fine!"
"Great... Dragon sandwiches for the next month."
"...the defenders fought back valiantly and won the day. But what of tomorrow?"
"Well, I'm going to sleep in- oh he means the movie..."
"Throw down your hotdogs!"
"Hey, Red Fox! Haha."
"Bunny Rich! Hehehe!"
"I have work for you. You must prepare a caravan of furs and copper, and voyage out to sea."
"Sure, I wasn't doing anything for the next TEN YEARS."
"And here is your share, all of this. All the gold for you, here. And now for my share..."
"I like having Court outside."
"Hold on, I'm having a montage."
Thanks to you it is working, the United Way!
Bring me a bucket, I'm gonna frow up!
"As for this demon, his reward shall match his deeds!" - Put him in my private chambers.
"Come wash your hands, oh noble soldier." - They're filthy!
"take this lance, it was forged for a mighty warrior." -He never claimed it.
We'll be showing the Vikes-Packers game in just a moment.
It may be the wine, Lars, but you're a pretty man.
Sven, no! Don't, you mustn't.
And wherever Ilja went, he carried his pool cue.
Yeah, yeah, could you bring me a magazine?
Damn confusing kingdom here.
You guys are so weird.
We shall invade your land and empty your coffers.
The Duluth chamber of commerce bids you adieu
The caterers are here!
I'm not that tasty. I'm mostly gristle.
Service is our middle name!
The perv is looking at me again.
Ah, the international symbol for no dragons.
Cattle-call for Sound of Music!
The hills are alive, the hills are alive, the hills are alive, the hills are alive with the sound of music.
If you hold a Fin by the beard it immobilizes them.
These pants have stirred something deep inside me!
Nice ring! Did you get that wholesale?
A real sepia tone has come over the film.
It's good burlap. I don't KNOW what happened.
Kiss your Aunt Bernice!
"Be like your father."
Longer than there've been fishes in the ocean.
Buy bonds where you work or bank!
First thing, I TAKE OFF THE BURLAP DRESS!
Isn't he supposed to bathe him in Mountain Dew, or...?
I should warn you: I'm just a torso.
♫ "Honk honk!" ♫ "Beep beep!" ♫ "Government gridlock!" ♫
It's the "Trix Are For Kids" monument!
I'm going to Helsinki to personally spear that stump-throwing son of a bitch!
I hate this thing, it does NOT make me feel pretty!
You're gonna hit me, aren't you...
- Look busy!
Oooh, right in the love-handle!
Yuck! He's in the spittoon!
Hey! Hey-hey-hey-hey-HEY! You're in the wrong myth!
- Too late! You are both devoured!
- Well, ya live and learn...
"And so the months slipped by." Like a pair of pants.
They spent a lot of money on a fortress, but no gate!
Killing. Burning. Ravishing. Itching. Flaking.
"A village that lives in constant fear of Kalin and his invaders." ...So move.
Our story begins in a quiet village in this besieged land. Made out of toothpicks.
There's more than just two guys out there.
You know, I'd kind of like to watch the whole boiling tar thing...
Wait! Leave it open! ...oh, now our plan is ruined.
I'm a bird! Go away!
Why are you older than me, son?
I'm feeling positively demonstrative! I could almost tell my wife I love her!
Ladies and gentlemen, the Swedish Moses of Soul!
How many prologues does this movie need?
He was given a farewell banquet and a small TV.
"Son of misery."
You know my dad?
South Central Copasan.
I'm Mike Wallace.
Crows! My brethren! See what a grand and noble creature they are?
He sent a Pants-o-gramme!
Wow! Now THAT is a horde!
Well, I got to go spread the plague.
OK, we're going left...
I claim this Mongol for all crows everywhere!
I'm not that tasty... I'm mostly grizzle!
"Dragonslayer 2: The Uncalled For"
Hold on , I'm having a montage.
Stachatory Woo! Oh,Captain Spalding!
Fifty thousand Maria von Trapps face off against the Mongol horde!
Great, dragon sandwiches for the next month.
"I might not get to Death tonight; I might spend the night in Serious Injury and head over to Permanent Disability in the morning."
He fooled them into thinking tea was ready.
I'm a wind demon, it's my job!
But it is not enough! I want Moose and Squirrel.
The Duluth Chamber of Commerce bids you adieu.
We got a great big envoy...
But Ilya's son did bring dishonor. He traded the sword for a lid and got high in the palace.
At long last, our nation says no to renaissance festivals.
Oh yuck - He was eating crackers!
Uh, you Mongols need another wife?
Get that horse out of my living room!
Man, this movie is already 50 times more expensive than all the movies we've seen put together!
the banjo becomes angry at midnight WHAT THE HELL ARE YA TALKIN' ABOUT!?
This baby can handle everything but a three-headed dra- oh, son of a...
Cleanup's a breeze thanks to Wind Demon!
...now I was a baby when I last saw her, so I'll need to see all your breasts.
"I escaped after months spent in bondage" That was the good part.
Let us the nasty do!
So they walked from China to Finland.
"Seek out a young man: stout of heart, strong of arm, and brave of spirit." and taut of buttocks.
"I shall follow the road that leads to death." I might not get to death tonight; I may spend the night at serious injury and head over to permanent disability in the morning.
But I don't like food!
"I have found my true father."
"Did you follow the trail of beer cans?"
Is my face as weird as it feels?
"Ok, we get it, the circle of friggin' life."
"I think it's a film on sex."
Oh, that's ok I'll walk
Finland's annual emotional outburst!
Wash my car, pick up Tina from piano lessons!
You know, it would be easy to grab the wrong whiskery fat guy.
"The falcons in the sky, they were witness to our love..." - Eewwugh!
And then they harvested the charcoal briquettes.
Oh eck, Dorito breath!
A finger towel! Great!
I bowled last night and I'm pretty stiff...
This is the best tasting sword ever!
I'd rather be road kill than listen to this
It's a Matt Groening gargoyle!
Sounds like the strippers are on next!
We'll be showing the Vikes/Packers game in just a few minutes, everyone...
THERE ARE GIRLS HERE!! ACTUAL GIRLS!!!
Hey Rivendell and Mordor are calling.
Those are places!
Like a dog, sir?
You wanna grab an oar, Nanna Mouskori?????
I have some things to explain about me and the wind-demon.
I'll be in my ready-room.
Anyone know why we're retreating?
Close the buffet!
This movie has a real Viewmaster quality!
Oh great, my dad's Burl Ives.
No need to explain, Sir; we like making mountains of men!
The whole point of having a dragon is to tell the vorld you have a dragon! Vhy did you keep it a secret?!
It's a Tugar pile-up!
Couldn't the wind just cry Mary?
Chestnut grey, stop doing your impressions.
This song contains Satanic messages!
Chad, I have a big problem with this.
Sounds like Concerto for Timpani and Car Horn.
Wacky prop comic Lutefisk Top!
Where are the ROUSes?
I smell fresh pants!
He is a lonely, lonely man."