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621 - The Beast of Yucca Flats
Comments (29) Best Riffs (144)
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the 
above.
Father MacKenzie. Darning his socks in the night when there's nobody there.
"Do not ever let it become too rigid. If you do, you'll become a prisoner to it." HEY!
They must have dropped their bowl of Cream of Wheat on his head and it hardened.
"Jim, shoot first, ask questions later." But they're just little boys who wandered off!
"A man choked to death. A woman's purse. And footprints on the wasteland." His limericks aren't very good.
Kenneth Branagh's Mary Shelley's Bram Stoker's Wes Craven's Tim Burton's Beast of Yucca Flats. A Francis Ford Coppola film.
"Puerto Rico's greatest natural resource is her people." Come exploit her people.
"Almost all of the rum sold in the U.S. is produced here and its export is vital to the economy." So drink rum constantly.
"Hibiscus and Bougainvillea flourish throughout the year." As do Puppencoolidploopie and Flingulladieullflingooduah.
"With sunshine 360 days a year, Puerto Rico offers something for everyone." Like flights OUT.
"Year round sun makes this island a vacation paradise." And very hard to sleep!
Benjamin Franklin was tried in the 8th circuit court on stalking charges. In a minute, the results of that trial.
William! What are you doing in there! You're not talking to the founding fathers again are you!
"Until one day he had enough to buy the car he wanted." But then he crashed the car and died.
"That's not because you're a poor earner, William. It's because you're a poor spender." And a bad person.
There was no such thing as clinical depression until this film was made.
Yes, even the air supports airplanes just as it does in the not-better United States.
"The streets of old San Juan, once the cornerstone of Spain's Caribbean empire"
... Now the site of numerous muggings.
I love how deeply Tony Cardoza gets into his character.
Yeah, he goes in there and he just sits.
Uh-oh, this darned gun! Just a sec, people. ... Just don't shoot while I'm reloading; that wouldn't be fair.
Just as Jim closes in for the kill, so does Mutual Of Omaha close in for the kill...
Now would be a good time for some phrases. A woman's purse... a man murdered... flag on the moon... I'll be back later.
Fine... I'll just put off breakfast to investigate your little murder!
How do you decide when to turn on your lights in a Coleman Francis movie?
The tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife... but please, use a spoon!
Y'know, this place is probably nicer than Javorsky's place in Moscow!
You know, Tor was originally offered the role of the Mom in this film...
I've been handed a rewrite... it's no longer "progress", it's now "justice"...
Well, we have Mom's looks and Dad's intelligence... we should be able to deal with this!
It was daring of Coleman to change the theme from parking to walking...
There was no such thing as clinical depression before this film was made.
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Gotta love that way Coleman handles law and jurisdiction: "We're fairly certain someone broke the law. Let's go kill someone."
pretend...to...write...
This is the most........gawd awful.........excuse for a film......
there was no such thing as clinical depression until this movie was made!!
Soylent Green Platanos is made out of Progress!!!! You gotta tell em!
Progeess Island USA music is from NFL Films
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They got good use out of those Hollywood meat slammers!!!!
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You know, are we sure this is a Coleman Francis movie? Where is the all-important coffee drinking scene?
Shoot first...ask Christian Slater...
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If only they had Jenny Craig in 1961, Tor would have been a leading man! I about fell over when they said his head has a beer belly!
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And what the heck is with that bunny at the end? Was that supposed to mean something?!
So I've decided that this actually isn't a bad movie. Because to be a bad movie, it has to be a MOVIE first. This, I don't know what this is.
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The "11:30" skit is a little on the dull side, but I love the cute little squeak noise Crow does, and his "hum diddy de de, hua hua" again.
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I love this episode. Most people say they can't sit through it but I always can. The level of incompetence requires no riffing. It's THAT stifling.
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WAIT jest a garsh-darn sec!!... if the two cops aren't able to climb that rocky hill where they think Tor is and need a plane .. HOW did Tor get up there?
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MISSED-RIFF OPPORTUNITY - #37
"Beast of Yucca Flats"
(Actual film line - narration) ... "a man murdered a woman's purse." (WTF??)
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So who killed the (Flag on the moon) girl in the first scene?
shoot first, ask Christian Slater.
Mike & the bot's,........ They are ASSASSINS with the short(s). If anybody could somehow make what happened to Gen. Custer at Wounded Knee...
"funny" it's these guys.
Gypsy's reaction to the wallpaper reminded me of Vonnegut's "Bluebeard." It's been so long that it took me a while to pinpoint what scene I was thinking of and which book it was, in but there you have it. Gypsy's portraial of Rabo Karabekian's reaction to the redecoration of his home took me back almost 20 years.
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Just realized there's a looong callback to SST Death Flight in the Progress Island, USA short. Around twenty minutes into the episode Crow quips about the plane's gear being mushy.
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The nice thing about the movie is that it's an hour in length.
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I just looked this movie up on IMDB-- That guy that buys a newspaper from the newsboy for no apparent reason-- that was Coleman Francis!
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Sigh. It's sad, really. This film seems to be Coleman Francis's attempt at art. And how far from the mark it fell. And why did they mention a flag on the moon once and then never again? And how small was that budget that Francis nearly always avoided showing anyone speaking their lines? Could he not figure out how to mike the desert? Or is it like the guys said, a way to avoid having to deal with sound and picture continuity? And why am I even asking all these questions? Why do I care?
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So what do y'all think -- Coleman Francis just had a big ol' pile of airplane and skydiving footage lying around, filmed a bunch of takes of people being shot at from airplanes and a wild twist party, and rustled up Tor Johnson?
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Just my opinion, mind you... but I think the Film Anti-Preservation Society (FAPS) is one of the best ideas I've ever heard.
i reallty realy love tor johnson! so much that i'm starting the church of tor johnson!
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Say what you will about Roger Corman, at least his movies are actual MOVIES. Coleman Francis is my pick for worst director of all time.
This short is a little creepy