Bg
Sign in with or
Club MST3k only gets your name and profile pic, which are public anyway. You can use a fake name.

624 - Samson Vs The Vampire Women



Viewers_big 2 people watching this episode right now.
198 laughs

Comments (70) Best Riffs (235)

0 laughs

Report
Stereo Catz - about 1 month ago

Kato? He became a WAY bigger star than Van Williams.

Then he died.


0 laughs

Report
jason argo - about 1 month ago

10 minutes in, and between Frank's table manners, crumbly vampire women, and spit take inducing riffs, this might not have been the best choice for dinner theatre.


1 laugh

Report
Snuffy Wuffykiss - 4 months ago

Shape-shifting Undead besmirch the honor and tradition of masked Mexican Wrestling.


0 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Matthew Boyle - 6 months ago

A...B...White pines? The hell? What was he saying AB for? Plus Egyptian hieroglyphs are a syllabary so each symbol represents a consonant and a vowel not just a letter.


0 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Matthew Boyle - 6 months ago

I gotta say it must rock to be satan. Undead babes who have to spend their whole lives appeasing you and it doesn't matter if they fail because you can always get more. Why would anyone stick with god? Unless that 72 virgins thing is true.


1 laugh

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Matthew Boyle - 6 months ago

Hey is she the queen or the mistress of the night? She can't be both! If she's married to the night king then she can't be his extra marital mistress.


Not Logical
2 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Mitchell - 6 months ago

OK, maybe drinking blood could make the vampire women look young and beautiful but why would it change their outfits?
Other than that, this film is perfect.


1 laugh

Report
Buffalo Rider - 10 months ago

I somehow missed this episode and had always wondered what happened to Frank. I was not prepared for any of these feelings. I was not prepared for that movie either. What a way for Frank to go..man.....too good. Too damn good.


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report

"Who Will I Kill?" is probably the saddest thing in MST3K history this side of the credits of experiment 1013.


1 laugh

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Teri Gee - about 1 year ago

So...I guess Frank gave up on the whole vegetarian thing? He certainly had a lot of chicken.


This one suprised me
0 laughs

Report
Diane - aka Starbreeze - about 1 year ago

I wish I could give this episode more than just one laugh!


1 laugh

Report
Phil Bunty - over 1 year ago

Free TV's Frank!!


4 laughs

Report
Yong Rubenfeld - over 1 year ago

Lol Torgo the White


Impersonation
1 laugh

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Donald Petkus - over 1 year ago

At about 26.00, someone on the SOL crew does a terrific impersonation of the professor .


3 laughs

Report

Link one is down. Apparently even El Santo couldn't suplex the DCMA Nazis...
Good news is that so far it seems this is only happening to the videos hosted on Youtube. All the other hosting providers haven't been hit yet.


Photography
3 laughs

Report
Donald Petkus - over 1 year ago

For a low budget film, the shots where the ugly vampires transform into beauties are well handled.


3 laughs

Report
Rosebud - over 1 year ago

I thought of something else. I think the guy dubbing the Professor was just making up his lines instead of translating. That's the only way to explain his bizarre lines. Sort of like Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lilly" or "Blobbermouth"


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Rosebud - over 1 year ago

A couple things here. First of all, I've been re-watching these episodes for several years, and...I NEVER SAW THIS ONE! How is that possible? The transition episodes are always my favorite, too. They get me teared up every time. So all these years, I wondered what happened to Frank... Another thing...kinda slow episode until 45:45 and then POW! It's so funny that no riff is necessary!


4 laughs

Report
Joey Thomas Mackie - almost 2 years ago

Any internal injuries Doctor,...No I'm fine.


11 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Robert Brown - almost 2 years ago

This ep should have 500 laughs. The gang always brought game to the goodbye eps.

Ah, TV's Frank, we hardly knew ye. We share so much: a fear of halogen, distinctive coiffure, freak-flag waving tendencies...the show was not the same without you. Let me be Frank: truly you were the greatest Frank of all.

Yuckkll...eeee!


3 laughs

Report
Stephen A Nathe - almost 2 years ago

Now THATS an idea...!
Put the cheese INSIDE the cracker!!


1 laugh

Report
Stephen A Nathe - almost 2 years ago

VIVA LA RAZA!!!


6 laughs

Report
the puppet hater's club - almost 2 years ago

oh no, those bitchy vampires, Debra and Jennifer , are here


10 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Ginger Fitts - about 2 years ago

Still better than the Twilight series.


4 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Report
Punch Rockgroin - about 2 years ago

The lead vampiress looks like Kim Kardashian minus the booty.


6 laughs

4 replies Comment-icon
Report
Emily Nelson - about 2 years ago

1:13:00: Um....WHY is his face all furry? Is this a part of the vampire mythos I missed?


3 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Report
Emily Nelson - about 2 years ago

So, this Rebeca chick was around in 1761, when language was not so different from its modern usage, so that you could certainly read and understand something written 200 years ago. So what the HELL are all those weird hieroglyphs!?


2 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Emily Nelson - about 2 years ago

29:00: But...you can't see vampires in mirrors....I see she's ugly again, so can you only see their ugliness in mirrors? WTF?


3 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Report
suzy lux - about 2 years ago

ok two eyeliner jokes, do better guys. you have a b movie rife with female vampires who are searching for a new young queen to (seduce) There are literally a million lezbionic buttons you could be pushing here ;p

/vampyres


6 laughs

Report
MyMyMSTie - about 2 years ago

Crows laugh @ 45.52 kills me every time!!


1 laugh

Report
suzy lux - about 2 years ago

the mark on the left shoulder thing reminded me of rosemary's baby *shiver*


7 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Report

What the hell happened in this movie??

The vampires won. They won! They got who they were after, they neutralized the hero who, incidentally, didn't do much of anything during the course of the story, and then... they all stand around and wait to die. They weren't even trying to do anything at the end. Why didn't they just leave the wrestler in his cage? Did they all just forget the sun eventually rises? Countess Second-Banana just stands there for what seemed like five solid minutes, staring at the window as if she couldn't comprehend its divine form.

Who the hell wrote this? Was this sequence of events actually in the screenplay, or did it just say, "And then they all die for some reason, why not?" Seriously, did I miss something? This bad movie is actually making me question my own grip on reality.


7 laughs

Report

After they burst out cackling when El Santo shows up, the episode really takes off. "Did I overdress?" "Should I get into my costume?" "Do you need any wrestling done?" Oh god.


8 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
RevJoan - over 2 years ago

Hey! -one of them thar vampire ladies looks a little like that Kardashian gal


4 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
E B - over 2 years ago

"Let's see; she comes, sucks on your neck, you live for all eternity, she's totally hot...what's the problem here?"

Also, if our only hope for salvation is El Santo and that Goofy Professor, then we had all better get used to spending a lot of our time hanging out at the blood-bank. And it should be the Smurfs who kill the cast of Twilight. Or maybe Godzilla. Hell, El Santo will do; anybody, really.


4 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Eulalia Vox - over 2 years ago

I have to say, I legitimately teared up during Forrester's realization Frank was gone and during "Who Am I Going to Kill". What is happening to me?


5 laughs

Report
Elisa Farrington - over 2 years ago

Oooooh. Good bye Frank. The most touching part for me was his final 'A-yuck-a-ee'. I loved when he said it during his first season to Dr. F's annoyance. Aawww.


3 laughs

Report
Elisa Farrington - over 2 years ago

KABOOM! - Just in case there is some young whipper-snapper that was deprived of the Three Stooges, here is a clip of Curly at his best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN1eNKGbbXY -one of several sketches they did that are the inspiration for the clam soup host segment.


7 laughs

Report
Bruce Ellsworth Reed - over 2 years ago

Awwww...FRANK! Frank was cool, one of the best. Thank God for re-reuns!


6 laughs

4 replies Comment-icon
Report
Crypto Dentist - over 2 years ago

Hey, now wait a minute, half an hour in she catches sight of a vampire in her mirror. Vampires don't have reflections.


6 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Barry Buchanan - over 2 years ago

Don't know if they had the mics turned up or just the absurdness of this film, but it seems like the 'bots and Mike are snickering at their own jokes more than usual.


6 laughs

4 replies Comment-icon
Report
Bruce Box-Liker - over 2 years ago

Isn't having a mark shaped unmistakably like a vampire like having a mark that's shaped unmistakably like an asthmatic telecommuter?


2 laughs

Report
Kiri T. Unicorn - over 2 years ago

a·poth·e·o·sis:
n. pl. a·poth·e·o·ses
1. Exaltation to divine rank or stature; deification.
2. Elevation to a preeminent or transcendent position; glorification
3. An exalted or glorified example


3 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Tom Nathe - over 2 years ago

Surprised no one has caught to downward moving sunrise at the end.


5 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Mike Carmona - over 2 years ago

When I first saw this episode, I was half-expecting it to be a blacksploitation film, filled to the teeth with Wakachu-wak. But this? This is--no!


9 laughs

Report
E. Michelle Peterson - over 2 years ago

Torgo the White. This episode is great. It deserves way more laughs.


3 laughs

Report
Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

"Who is he papa?" His name is Rodolfo Guzman Huerta.


6 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

Gotta Love the boldness to do LOTR references in a time when probably less than 5% of the world understood them. Thanks Peter Jackson!


6 laughs

Report
Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

I like how that family has had the same hairdo for 200 years.


9 laughs

Report
Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

Ah, El Santo, one of the pioneering sellouts among professional wrestlers. Whenever you have to sit through a terrible movie staring the Rock, John Cena, or Hulk Hogan, think of El Santo won't you.


1 laugh

Report
Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

I hate myself right now because I had to look up Capital Critters after Mike made that remark. I couldn't remember what it was, I used to love that show!


4 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

I'd kill for chinese right now.


4 laughs

Report
Genevieve Sørensen - over 2 years ago

"Satan has given her prominent cheekbones"


6 laughs

Report
Sabrina Domingues - almost 3 years ago

"I'm gonna eat my fortune cookie first, heee heee! I'm so naugh-ty!" Frank is awesome.


14 laughs

5 replies Comment-icon
Report
Fredrick Stafford - almost 3 years ago

No one will ever push a button like TV’s Frank.


5 laughs

Report
glenn-s - about 3 years ago

what can you say about 4'3" hero with a silver mask and cape, but HAAA HAAA !!!


9 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Super McWonderfull - about 3 years ago

"TORGO the WHITE ! ! !"

ONE B BUDGET MOVIE TO RULE THEM ALL ...... :)


3 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report

"George" makes me miss the heroic figure cut by Arch Hall, Jr. :/


11 laughs

5 replies Comment-icon
Report
Leslie Doesn't Get You - about 3 years ago

This is a funny episode but it makes me sad. I don't understand why Frank left the show. It was just never the same without him. I love TV's Frank!


4 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Report
John Harms - over 3 years ago

I'm not sure how much of a hero our "hero" is. He seems to take advantage of convenient timing.


3 laughs

Report
Singe - over 3 years ago

Certainly one of my favorite Halloween films!


7 laughs

Report
Cris Marko - over 3 years ago

Ah, I see the spanking service has arrived!


4 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

I've been playing Stratego wrong this whole time!


11 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Iris - almost 4 years ago

Goodbye Frank!


14 laughs

3 replies Comment-icon
Report
Alex Stefanic - almost 4 years ago

Now all I can think about is El Santo killing the cast of Twilight...


3 laughs

Report
MB - almost 4 years ago

This episode is becoming one of my favs!


7 laughs

2 replies Comment-icon
Report
Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - almost 4 years ago

"I wonder if there are vegetarian Vampires..." ...Oh no, a precursor to Twilight! NO!


4 laughs

Report
Jason T. Murphy - almost 4 years ago

101% awesome


7 laughs

Report
Frankie DeMario - about 4 years ago

@45:50 let the awesomeness begin!!


6 laughs

1 reply Comment-icon
Report
Lashunda Johnson - about 4 years ago

Santo Rules!!!