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703 - Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell



Viewers_big 4 people watching this episode right now.
259 laughs

Comments (100) Best Riffs (321)

Girlfriends
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Donald Petkus - 1 day ago

The bad Guy's girlfriend is more attractive than the princess, especially in terms of personality.


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Who's Shane McGowan of the Popes? I know there's a Shane McGowan of the Pogues, but I've never heard of the Popes.
Also I love them for that reference there.


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Corvid - 14 days ago

Somewhere in my fever dreams a Nicias and Merlin fanfic is bubbling


Directors brother and Casio DX7 from hell
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Brad Koss - 24 days ago

I heard that Deathstalker was originally known as Crap-talker by his friends, mostly Nesisus, but he had it changed after a shameful incident in the shower after gym class and moved to a new school district. Also who did the voice over work for the bird ??? Must've been the guy/gal from Eehga that said "Watch out for snakes".


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Brian Pierson - about 1 month ago

Amazingly bland!


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The Princess Elizena - about 1 month ago

'Relson' looks nothing like the dude on the cover.


1 laugh

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Gratuitous Lurking - 3 months ago

I pity any ren festers that had this as the first MSTie experience. The crew goes to town on it!


2 laughs

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Snuffy Wuffykiss - 4 months ago

Wow. A Deathstalker movie with all the nudity cut out... But all the scenes where the "plot" is explained had nudity so now it makes even less sense. Not that it was "good" to begin with but, you know... Boobies!


2 laughs

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Jeff Gulick - 5 months ago

This is by far the best Mike episode!


1 laugh

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Look Polish - 5 months ago

This deserves more than 240 laughs.


3 laughs

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BlueRabbit501 - 6 months ago

I never thought anything could make Deathstalker II look well thought out. Remind me to never think again.


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Ozzie Olin - 8 months ago

So that's Alan Moore at 8:30, right?


2 laughs

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Curtis Awful - 8 months ago

I've seen a lot of half baked stupid ass movies in my time but this movie,as mike said "is one the most ambitiously bad movies we've ever done." I guess when u make up a fake Middle Ages-like fantasy world u can just skip any sort of time continuity like zippers or hairstyles or manners of speaking...


0 laughs

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Shape Shafter - 11 months ago

Sheesh, I didn't think John Nelson was al that bad in Killer Klowns From Outer Space. I wonder if the director's coaching to him was "Now your character's motivation is to be as big a douche as he possibly can."


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Jordan Carpenter - 11 months ago

Wait, so someone help me out here. The third stone, which Troxarus needs to become omnipotent and immortal..... has just been sitting on some table in his house for, like, years?


1 laugh

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Misterkingdom - 11 months ago

Why does a guy named "deathstalker" look like a twink?


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Robert Brown - about 1 year ago

Pearl has a man-cold.


6 laughs

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LostHighway - about 1 year ago

I love a villain who, in the big climactic fight scene, uses his two swords—what we are to believe are two weapons of hardened steel designed for stabbing—to pick up a piece of lacy fabric and gently lay it over his prone enemy (while wearing a boat neck blouse). (~1:19:30)


4 laughs

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Misterkingdom - about 1 year ago

I'm thinking i've found the smuggest leading man in MST3K history.


3 laughs

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Steve Boer - about 1 year ago

As someone named Steve, I just LOVE the way they call people Steve in many of the movies they riff, this being one of them.


2 laughs

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Edmund Wolfe - about 1 year ago

So, question... why are the guys always so down on ren-fests? Nerd in-fighting makes me a sad panda....


2 laughs

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Showdax - over 1 year ago

Loved all the Lord of the Rings riffs (and the One Ring sketch!). Best parts of the whole movie/episode! Maybe I should ask Servo to whip me up a Ring o' Power...
Lol, oh mother Pearl. She totally succeeded in being super annoying! :D Man, poor Dr. F. Between Mike and the Bots messing with him and his mum (especially when sick), I think it'll be Clay who goes crazy(er) instead of Mike!


7 laughs

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Thomas Wells - over 1 year ago

I think a better name for this film would have been "Death Stalker III: The Warlock, His Lost Rock Collection, and His Mixed up Zombie Friends"


4 laughs

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TANKK 3000 - over 1 year ago

My god after the first 50 "clayton"s I wanted to choke her...


5 laughs

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Sweets McGee - over 1 year ago

"I should be playing canasta with Saruman!"


2 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - over 1 year ago

Wait a minute... "Fa, a note to follow sol"?


3 laughs

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James GreyWolf - over 1 year ago

I gotta say... these are some of the WORST swordsmen I have ever seen. They are swinging so damn slow, I could beat each in about 3 seconds (I lettered in fencing in college). They really need 2 things. A little experience with real fighting. And a MUCH BETTER fight choreographer... who actually knows how to fight with a sword.


8 laughs

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C. Joseph Osborn - over 1 year ago

So, after repeated watchings, I'm starting to think that John Allen Relson (aka Deathstalker) may be the most under-appreciated actor of the 20th century. Now, hear me out: anyone can be unlikeable on occasion, or even usually, but to be so consistently, flawlessly douche-y . . . I mean, my God, it's like a work of genius.


3 laughs

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Diane - aka Starbreeze - over 1 year ago

I loved this episode! One of the funniest. "We're Bats!" and the deep voiced, "Squeak, Squeak..." We were laughing so hard at Batman and his men! :D


5 laughs

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The Princess Elizena - over 1 year ago

By the by, if you ever have a chance to watch the pilot episode of Quantum Leap, I think you'll find that our simple 'hero' here plays the part of a pilot on an air force base in that show. Pretty sure it's him. I'd know that smirk anywhere.


2 laughs

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The Princess Elizena - over 1 year ago

Very likely my favorite episode of all time. And this from a Misty who used to tape these off of Comedy Central back in the 90s and watch 'em after school.


2 laughs

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Look Polish - over 1 year ago

Among the most "ambitiously bad" parts of this film has to be the soundtrack. Absolutely horrendous.


6 laughs

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MSTeacher3K - over 1 year ago

Another reason to hate the "Deathstalker" franchise: 3 of the 4 movies (this one not included) were executive produced by Roger Corman!


3 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - over 1 year ago

so....Vadinho lost his gig as a princess' bodyguard, and got stuck protecting Thepumaman...??


5 laughs

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Edmund Wolfe - over 1 year ago

I have no idea what a meatsa-treatsa-rati is, but the opening host segment makes me REALLY wanna try one....


7 laughs

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Roe Walker - almost 2 years ago

OH MY GOODNESS!!!!! Look at the scene where Deathstalker hides in the tent and uses a stick to make the princess think that he has a knife in her back. If you look at the two guards for the princess, ONE OF THEM IS THE AZTEC GUY FROM PUMAMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D My life is now complete.


2 laughs

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HUGEbigmclarge - almost 2 years ago

one of my favorite episodes! i love when these guys riff renaissance/pseudo historically accurate "movies" (i.e. quest of the delta knights, another favorite of mine). in itself, the movie alone is very entertaining. the baldo old man prince who's revered by all the women as being wickedly handsome; the completely ineffectual wizard/wandering goat visitor; the grunge-box eagle meowing valiantly across the ren-fest fair grounds sky... mike and the bots just murder this film


1 laugh

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Gal Dagon - almost 2 years ago

This guy becomes so amazingly likeable once you've seen the first Deathstalker movie. It's unbelievable.


4 laughs

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Misterkingdom - almost 2 years ago

This is the most smug, repugnant dude In the history of MST3K. More smarmy than Adam Chance and sleazed his way right through Bart Fargo.

Ok, I kind of regret this statement because I just remembered the bespectacled side-kick hobbit from Outlaw of Gor.


5 laughs

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Rufus T. Firefly - almost 2 years ago

Listening to it again, I'm pretty sure Deathstalker's accent disappeared before he finished his first line.


4 laughs

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Rufus T. Firefly - almost 2 years ago

The look that crazy potato mom gives Deathstalker when he talks about eating a rabbit is pretty much the same look vegans give you if you mention eating steak.


DOOMED WOMEN
5 laughs

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Can anyone who has seen the other movies tell me if every woman unfortunate to cross paths with the title character and interact dies?

Or is it just this actor? I can just picture during the filming the actresses approaching the director saying "Look- Can you just kill me off?"


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Stephen A Nathe - almost 2 years ago

there are 4 of these movies??


3 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - almost 2 years ago

i just heard an eagle meow!!


1 laugh

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Bill Tate - almost 2 years ago

"Could you at least find the strength to sweep the garage?"


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Cris Marko - almost 2 years ago

I wonder why the high school theater they used to shoot half the movie wasn't included in the credits?


1 laugh

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Morgan Zindzi T - about 2 years ago

The soundtrack sounded like the RuneScape music from like 2004


1 laugh

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Gunner Eden - about 2 years ago

"DUH HUH, KILL DUH"


1 laugh

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Stephen A Nathe - about 2 years ago

summoning my inner Captain Kirk:
"WHAT isssssss.....THIS!?"


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Stephen A Nathe - about 2 years ago

i love VHS-to-DVD-to-DIGITAL transfers


3 laughs

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John Hains - about 2 years ago

Got to get back inside the castle, I need more hot metal on my groin.


5 laughs

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John Hains - about 2 years ago

Love should be secret and shameful and leathery and dirty


5 laughs

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Leigh Mccallum - about 2 years ago

Deathstalker versus Ator taking all bets!


5 laughs

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Thomas A Hardy - over 2 years ago

I know plot-holes are usually beneath mention but:

Did anyone else notice that one THIRD of the stone was powerful enough to RESURRECT THE DEAD (with remarkably few side-effects) and yet Deathstalker still let them barbecue the chick who died saving him?

What the HELL man?


3 laughs

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Joseph Ewing - over 2 years ago

28:08 "You are the Puma Man."


6 laughs

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NS - over 2 years ago

Just noticed that Crow's cashier name tag says "Mary-Jo" and Tom's says "Paul."


2 laughs

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Jenica Burgos - over 2 years ago

Trucks Artist looks like kind of a low-rent Rudolph Valentino


2 laughs

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Carrie is So Very - over 2 years ago

My sister got ahold of this, my favorite episode, un-MST'ed. SO MANY BOOBIES were cut from this. I did a write-up a few years ago on every boobie scene that was cut from this ridiculous movie, if you don't mind me linking to an offsite blog: http://mst3k.livejournal.com/1360066.html (worksafe despite the topic!)


5 laughs

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Teri Gee - over 2 years ago

There's one moment in this movie that actually strikes me as having some genuine emotion. When the potato woman gets killed, he says, "My life wasn't worth yours." and if there had been that much sincerity in the rest of the movie, it wouldn't have been half as bad.


6 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 2 years ago

I just looked it up. That guard actually IS Miguel Fuentes from The Pumaman.


4 laughs

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James Krummel - over 2 years ago

Hard to believe the original Deathstalker spawned one sequel let along this third one. I wrote better dialogue in the 4th grade!


5 laughs

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Kim Spence Dean - over 2 years ago

Mike chuckles in this episode more than any other I can think of.


4 laughs

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Peakpasha - over 2 years ago

And if someone wants the "Extra Stuffed Germanic" font used in the opening credits, you can get it here:
http://www.dafont.com/primitive.font


4 laughs

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Matt Crawford - over 2 years ago

I hope Deathstalker finds death really quickly...his own death that is! :)


4 laughs

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I had to sneak off to YouTube to watch this properly. Without the host segments, well... it was like RenFest without a dead camel to pet, if you get my (throbbing gondola's) drift.


8 laughs

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Mike Carmona - over 2 years ago

Potato-Perm-Chick sounds like the Wharwilf girl's long-lost sister.


3 laughs

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William Johnson - over 2 years ago

This might be the highlight of the amazing, seminal season 7. This one has lights out riffs from beginning to end. It also doesn't help how earnest the filmmakers are ... I actually, kinda sorta like this movie.


2 laughs

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Peakpasha - over 2 years ago

I just noticed it, but the opening theme of the movie is actually James Horner's opening theme for "Battle Beyond the Stars". Then again, both "Battle Beyond the Stars" and the Deathstalker movies were made by Corman's company.


9 laughs

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Rabbit Projector - almost 3 years ago

This movie riff on itself... "Maybe theres another treasure city waiting for me out there" Wizard: " There isn't"


4 laughs

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SirenR - almost 3 years ago

Is it the same helmet that David Warner wore in "Quest of the Delta Knights"?


2 laughs

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Mitchell - almost 3 years ago

Full Episode- Link 1- MINUS HOST SEGMENTS?!?!?!
WTF?????


2 laughs

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Mr.Jensen - almost 3 years ago

Wow, this episode really presented a ton of riffable opportunities for Mike and the bots. I was skeptical going in, but came out thinking this is a top shelf episode. May be a little underated.


4 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - almost 3 years ago

I wonder if that linebacker-style sword stance that Deathstalker favors has ever been used by anybody who lived to pass it on.


13 laughs

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Matt DeCostanza - almost 3 years ago

Holy shit, Pearl is annoying.


6 laughs

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Stereo Catz - almost 3 years ago

This movie has the same soundtrack as Final Fantasy Mystic Quest.


4 laughs

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Stereo Catz - almost 3 years ago

Is it just me or does that bird sound a lot like the alien whale noises from Startrek IV?


5 laughs

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Stereo Catz - almost 3 years ago

Did anybody see those guys attack the chickens. They’re lucky this isn’t Skyrim or they’d be hunted down like dogs for such an atrocity.


18 laughs

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Fredrick Stafford - almost 3 years ago

So I decided to try some of that smooth “Deathstalker” game at my local pub. I came in with fake English accent which I quickly dropped; told my attractive server girl I DID NOT kill her twin sister, constantly referred to myself as a HERO, ordered a baked potato, potato skins, French fries, tater tots, and a baked potato, challenged a balding guy to several lame sword fights, and NOTHING; no hot virgin fell in love with me, no BDSM play with a sexy nympho, no one wanted to join me in a vague revolution, although when I left I distinctly heard cheering behind me. Oh well, guess I will just go back to my old “Mitchell” moves.


9 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - about 3 years ago

The wizard, the potato ladies, the first princess who gets killed... it is ASTONISHING how little these characters contribute to the plot. If they cut this movie to the bone, it could have served as a short to another movie.


6 laughs

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robbin505.4.u@gmail.com - about 3 years ago

I can't get over the medieval Casio music, it just cracks me up. What is the deal with this movie, every time they get the story moving it will cut to a scene of something already in progress and as soon as I can start to follow that story line it cuts to something else. What did this movie look like before editing? Did they cut every scene that explained the plot?


5 laughs

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Classicats - about 3 years ago

Omg was the end skit really an homage to a scene from Hitchcock's Suspicion?? I didn't think I could love this show any better.


8 laughs

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Classicats - about 3 years ago

At ~0:40:50, do my ears deceive me or did he really just say "I'm just a simple hero trying to eat his dinner." That's one of the worst lines I could imagine.


7 laughs

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Scooter Atreides - about 3 years ago

Tarl Cabot would make this loser his bitch.


7 laughs

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John Harms - over 3 years ago

Man, I don't think I've actively cheered against a movie's hero before.


1 laugh

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Angsty Meier Link - over 3 years ago

Full episode is down, looked it up and all I could find was it split into 10 parts on youtube :( I know its crappy like that but its the best we get for now


2 laughs

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Robert Ferguson - over 3 years ago

27:10.... The guard on the left, MST3k #903 Puma Man ???


2 laughs

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Robert Ferguson - over 3 years ago

28:10, It IS....... That is Pew - mah Man


3 laughs

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Kimono Dragon - over 3 years ago

Are potatoes like Caesar salad? When you both have potatoe-breath, and you make out, does each ones breath cancel out the other? If not, that was the most disgusting mack-session ever!


2 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

1:08:01 - looks like the undead guy in the foreground is rubbing his crotch.

Also, strategic perm-placement at 1:08:20


5 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

Oh God, the helmet with the floppy bat wings. Can't stop laughing.


3 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 3 years ago

Am I hearing this right? The kid's name is Amatron?


1 laugh

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Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 3 years ago

CLAAAAAYTOOON!


2 laughs

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Lindsey Sheats - over 3 years ago

Hilarious!


1 laugh

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Patrick Gray - over 3 years ago

Is that the prophecy theme from Dune 35 minutes in?!


3 laughs

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Joshua Kelly - almost 4 years ago

mst3k dont get better awesome episode


4 laughs

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Aaron Kuehmichel - almost 4 years ago

oh gawd, this is one of my favourite episodes EVER...I cry laughing every time.


8 laughs

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Neil Connery - almost 4 years ago

the pink sultan/ninja/mink stole super villian ensemble is a straight classic... Truxartis is one bad mamajama... BEWARE.


4 laughs

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Neil Connery - almost 4 years ago

1 of the best (in my well informed opinion)... "and you, you nut, GET OVER HERE!"


0 laughs

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Jon Bradley - almost 4 years ago

Been removed!


14 laughs

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J Ryan Wade - about 4 years ago

Now let's see how long these accents last....