704 - The Incredible Melting Man
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
I'm going to squeeze one of those and let the juice drip down my body!
Steve, I found some lovely wild fennel!
They shrunk me and I'm trapped on this huge log!
"I think his shampoo had the wrong pH."
"Heeeeee's off the ramp!"
*looks at phone* "Ugh, look at all the gunk. What is that, skin in those holes?"
Wow, her area really dominates her front side.
They shouldn't have had Phil Spector design their space capsule.
He needs a mission statement.
Somebody took and left a perfectly good general in the middle of the road.
21... 22... Swallow.
"And I'm, uh..." pregnant, too.
It’s best to just let the Ebola virus run its course.
Oh, Karl Wallenda has burst into flames!
"Doc, come here quick!" The general is STILL dead!
Uh, did you sneeze really hard on the door handle?
She looks like a Killer Klown from Outer Space.
Customer need assistance in housewares.
I’m tryin’ to kill ya, there are no rules per se.
"Oh God" Atchka?
-”Judy’s pregnant again.”
-”Hey that’s great!” … Isn’t it?
Rivers of blood… SAINT PETER!
I’m speaking to you from the fallopian tubes.
Sounds like a jew's harp with a whammy bar.
Roving bands of coroners.
Why is she running through the EZ Mini Storage?
He's in with some kid getting his tonsils out.
Well, let's go to Picture Picture.
She's got huge bird feet. (turkey gobble sounds)
Burger King command center.
Come to Organ Donor City. We'll help you find the organ that's just right for you.
Yosemite Sam! Rootin-est tootin-est shootin-est varmint!
I think that fell off of a chianti bottle.
"It's a turkey leg." A one-legged turkey did this?
Why don't I just weigh my salad and we'll start the autopsy.
I've been a sheriff most of this movie and I've never seen anything like it.
We're free, and it's fun! And we're innocent and it'll be sad when we find the heeeead, dink dink dink dink dink
Steve 2: Electric Boogaloo.
It was probably very hard to love kids back in the '70's.
Steve, my god, stop, you're hurting him. Steve, no
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!
Jeez, this is sitcom noir...
THERE'S your Windows 95!
So, how many monster movies end with a janitor scooping a monster into a garbage can?
STEVE had crackers.
The George Hamilton Story...
There's pudding in the Melting Man, to make him moister.
You know, he may not recover from this.
Hi Ted! What can I do you for?
Well, can I hit you with my flashlight?
Is he crying or dripping?
Tinkerbell, come down out of that tree!
I told her not to pick at that thing.
That was one hot burrito.
Its the confusometer.
I'm Dr. Ted Nelson!
*BLAM BLAM BLAM BLAM*
Ew, he just threw himself up!!!!!
"Some enchanted evening you may meet a redneck, you may see a redneck across a big dull hall"
"You're going to magic land honey."
"See, are we aloud to keep ROADKILL in this state?"
"Of course you know old people are easier to tear apart"
Cape Kennedy was renamed Cape Ted Nelson....and quickly renamed Cape Kennedy again.
"Whenever someone says to me 'Don't worry' that's when I start to worry" Well I wouldn't worry about it.
ARE WE MOVING OR IS IT THE BUILDING!?!?
I pulled her wisdom teeth out through her skull.
God, I HATE THIS WALLPAPER!!!
I don't deserve to be Ted Nelson.
She looks like a Killer Klown from Outer Space.
Look harder Simba.
Hey, you got protoplasm in my peanut butter!
Let's hide in one of your skin flaps!
The incredible melting grandma!
He's on rollerblades!
Beer, turkey leg, strip down to my underware, and some porn... I'm all set.
I'll stop the world and melt with you.
Wife's preggers, no crackers, now this.
"Replace the IV with units of whole blood." Not 2%.
I'm an imp!
The answer to: "Whatever happened to Jethro Tull?"
If I could just fart I would feel so much better!
Grab a nose hole and pull!
There's a face you have to get used to...
She's the Cracked Magazine guy!
1600 hours? So, like, 5 months from now?
Well, that sputtered out.
There are yards of cable and 15 operators required to run these people.
They were broad-minded and cast aliens in this role!
The general wants me to go find the HODGKA! melting man...
I had my breasts lowered and my hips pulled out at odd angles, I hope that's OK.
Mike, now say "I was born on a pirate ship"
I wad bawn on a pile of s... HEY!
- This would make an excellent fort!
- No time...
This scene has been over several times, and they just won't admit it!
So, iiiiis... THIS the "incredible" part?
I did get the lead in "The Coleman Francis Story"...
I been sheriff most of this movie, and I NEVER seen anything like it!
Aw - I've been following Van Gogh...
Ya wanna talk to Ma Frickert?
Great - she's full of crickets...
Do you guys know, is there a credible melting man?
Careful, the paneling is out-acting you.... You're right, the paneling is less wooden than her.
"Alex Rebar." Is he the guy they jam into freeway overpasses?
-Who else is there?
-Just me and half a nurse.
Remember when everyone had one of those giant black velvet moth posters?
I'm enjoying my 70's lifestyle.
Another victim of the honey dijon disaster!
I'm knitting myself a new husband!
I swiped a moon pie and they caught me.
Dr Mod, and Dr Groovy
They made a mistake and just went home with the actors.
I'm not gonna look silly in this shot am I? I will maintain my dignity?
Joe Camel says we should. *cough* It's alive with pleasure... *cough cough* It's smoooooth...
I had misidentified her as an elk.
AUGH! I'm a dried apple head!
Yeah that's not what this is, but we'll show you a film that suggests this!
They specifically moved to an outer-ring suburb to get AWAY from incredible melting men.
"Who else knows about this?"
"Just me and half a nurse."
Mom, I don't want to be in Dad's movie anymore!
We can repair her...she can be better...faster...stronger!
JUST BLOW UP AND MELT!