804 - The Deadly Mantis
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
I hate that smug bastard.
I'm scrambling, but where am I going?
So...do you think it's gonna snow?
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Look, shut up!
"Everyone says they were."
But everyone lies!
THE CORN PALACE WAS BUILT!
Well, I couldn't make it here, so I can't make it anywhere.
Could I get some ginger-ale and saltines? I feel yuckie.
Visitations will be between 2:00 and 4:00 in the Lincoln Tunnel.
This is a bug hunt, man, a bug hunt.
You have the right to an entomologist. If you are found guilty, you will be pinned to a giant piece of cardboard.
The Mantis has joined the Birmingham bus boycott.
I can row a boat. Canoe?
Your reports of my death were greatly exaggerated, you crap heads.
Hey, stop eating me. I'm still alive.
Why a bassoon, we'll never know.
This is horrible. Just think of the kind of force it takes to destroy a quonset hut.
I pee'd your pants. I'm not sure how...?
The President deploys a box of men.
"Take care of this lady, please."
Work 'er over! Make 'er talk!
After all this work, how could we ever really disarm?
Actors are shipped in from the mainland.
Like she's a real photographer. She's just a woman.
They really had no idea what this movie was about, did they?
Last night, a raccoon - now, this...
"What have you got there?"
- The cat...
This isn't snow, it's Bon Ami!
Rock'n'Roll - just as I suspected.
The aftermath of the Great Snowball Wars of 1955...
Alright people, let's go kick some THORAX!
The mantis pulls out slowly and follows them.
I don't think any of these people are players to tell you the truth.
The thing that almost didn't hit you!
If it's so easy, you do it!
Climbing without oxygen, Maria ascends to 20,000 feet.
You're looking live at sold-out Greenland!
In Paraguay, a woman shops. Connection?
Oh, dot. I've always wanted to go there.
Its The Mighty Quinn!
I hear those gentle voices calling me: big green buuuuuuuug.
The mantis is disguised as a giant road worker, but his giant ovipositor gives him away!
So it's orange, then.
Gingivitis is a major problem is North America.
It has a natural inclination to fly below radar.
"...called the DEW line."
More like the DON'T line.
It's simply not Jake!
"The field of pathology is limited."
Mrs. Burt Larr
I see it! Oh, no, that's a giant potato beetle.
It's a magma flow of savings, at Menards!
Identify markings properly... Make sure it's not a civilian passenger mantis
We’ve got to stop free basing on our planes!
I got a mantis in my pantis
He was big and dumb even in his own time!
Woman! Woman! SHOW US YOUR LADY THINGS!
"How do you do?"
"How do YOU do?"
I asked you first.
"I've narrowed the field to one."
Should we narrow it further?
Look pensive. Stare straight ahead.
I'll just hang up your coat and hate you.
GOPHERS! BIG ONES!
As brutally graphic as this is, we needed to make a point.
"What have you got?" Rhythm!
It was the Comanche sir.
Oh no they let Stan Laurel watch the hut.
Welcome to Ventriloquist Island!
Canada, our mortal enemy!
The natural radar of pine trees protects are northern borders.
yeah I think this guy is familiar with dishonorable discharge...
Don't ask, don't tell. but have a darn good time!
Oh, there'll be pictures alright.
By coincidence, the coroner calls in sick.
This guys insurance only covers destruction by giant arachnids.
So much rage. So much anger. Tsk. Tsk.
Ironically they still have to pay the toll.
That's me right there. Me.
"Sorry, Colonel. There's been a train wreck." - This movie! Ha haa!
That would be a phone and that would mean I have a call.
"Oh no, no. Please sit down." - Now stand up again.
Get back in your little boat, grandpa!
Summon Queequeg, it's the Great White One!
Hi. We brought a ya hot dish to see you through your grief.
Hi, Deadly Mantis! Hi!
Brigadier General Loooooove!
"The deer fly can do 600 an hour."
And a rabbit can go mach 5.
Lukewarmness at first sight.
What are you doing tonight, sweetcheeks?
"It isn't everyday that the Pentagon calls you."
It is so!
There's mantis scat out here.
"It wasn't a gale that wrecked this shack."
It was a Debbie!
It's a confetti storm!
Because of volcanic activity a creature called Santa Claus crawled out of the ice.
Flame out on Hinder One...
"Ladies and Gentlemen..." Lick me!
Ice Station Fargo!
Clay Shaw throws another party...
He's wearing David Byrne's suit.
"Put the old man on the horn..." Who, Dizzy Gillespie?
You know what?! Screw you Greenland!
Lord, I've tried to be a good mantis... I've preyed...
Oh, dot. I've always wanted to go there.
"You look like a big percolator, Sir."
"She's wearing a good, Republican cloth coat."
"So did you like meeting my privates? I mean the guys back at the base!"
"All right! Let's invade the Falklands again!"
"Oh, that Bob Dornan!" [chuckle]
"After a simple installation, you can enjoy five channels of porn!"
"Well, Gentlemen, it appears to be a giant Devils Food Snackwell™!"
"Heh heh... I'm so baked right now... You gotta' hear this Rush tape..."
"Canada calls to ask, 'What're you guys doing up there?!'"
"Starring Vanilla Ice! Ice Cube! Phoebe Snow! Ice T! Hank Snow!"
But I've got a mantis in my pantis
Got to put and end to freebasing on our planes!
I pee'd your pants!...I'm not sure how?
"Who the heck was Mrs.Farley, was she the MANTIS or something.?"
"Just wanted to cop a feel."
"LORD, I tried to be a good MANTIS, I PRAYED."
"Typical human, bring a GUN to a CAR FIGHT."
"He's deadly, but he's parked in a YELLOW ZONE."
Well, where's the woman?
Punch him in the throat!
This is Norm MacDonald...
It was the Comanches sir.
"Richmond, Virginia?" - No, Richmond the United Arab Emirates--Wake up!
♪He’s trading in his ♪ Chevy for a ♫ kayak-ak-ak-ak-ak-ak-ak!♫
Oh damn! Another 10,000 holes in Blackburn Lancashire!
The plane drops its eggs on the runway to be fertilized by male planes...
Deep Sea Mosques!
"That'll be all, men." Yeah, I think this guy is familiar with dishonorable discharge.
The Teflon Mantis was acquitted in downtown Manhattan today...
"Everything was jake." Did you check to see if I was Gig Young?
"You'd do almost anything for a story, wouldn't you? Almost." Would you put clams up your nose?
The budget Rosalind Russell.
"Doesn't look like bone; more like gristle or cartilage." It's your thumb you dork.
Welcome to ventriloquist island!
Apparently the director was a former cartographer.
When in the universe be sure to visit the beautiful United States.
I'm suddenly thirsty for antifreeze
These sheets were trying to use our drinking fountain Sir.
We accelerated to mach-1 but the deer-flys still outpaced us.
Mr. Mantis goes to Washing-DEATH!
It's your thumb you dork.
"Gentlemen let's be logical." This comes from an elf.
A big kid put a quarter in the airplane.
Maybe the army shouldn't have recruited Keith Moon.
In their last, futile attempt to save themselves they taped their plastic salad bowls to the roof of the plane.
Django Reinhardt was here...
Should he be up there on his resperator?
Look harder, damn you!
"I've never seen a blip like that before! It's there, and then it's gone!" - I think that's the definition of a 'blip'.
You don't need to salute the paleontologist
First down !
Don't soak your map in nitro glycerin.
This just in: The Colonel's advances were rebuffed once again! Sweaty hands smacked away. Breasts escaped unharmed.
I will destroy Christmas this year! I will!
Someone dropped a joint on the map!
Tell the Eskimos I deeply respect their culture, but they were also very delicious.
Move toward the bug zapper, Mantis...
I have big eyes! That means I'm cute!
Ahhh Pismo Beach and all the clams you can eat!
Women Women Women. Show us your lady things!
Frosty The Snowman's partially melted body was found at the site, the victim of a pistol whipping. Herbie The Misfit Elf is wanted for questioning.
I think this guy is familiar with dishonorable discharge
GOOD one, Nelson!
Uh, scooch over. -Over
I feel a disturbance as if a million monkeys cried out at once and then were silenced
What's he doing with his jaw?! That's CHILLING! Yuck!
"Coffee, Colonel?" - Head injury, Corporal?
"I never suggested I was looking for a dragonfly..." - So shut your fat gob.
Do you go to Venezuala?
The Taliban militia would be SHOCKED by her conservatism...
Rodeo clowns !!!
♫ Just uh hangin around with uh rodeo clown in the back of muh GMC ♫♪
Last one to the Gulf of Mexico buy's lunch....
I can't sleep, tell me a story....
Lemme talk to that little bitch....
Quick, poopie suits on!
This will be me, droning on.
Filmed in bald-spot-vision!
Here in the frosting mines of Canada the slaves of Betty Crocker work round the clock.
"All of us are agreed to accept one thing." Angela Lansbury's HOT!
Hey, maybe this guy'd volunteer to smear himself with peanut butter and stand on the Chrysler Building...
Oh, and we've been invaded by Spain and mermaids are real ... g'bye~
Deploy Kleenex and prepare to smoosh the enemy!
~Maaaa Maaaaa knocked me down.....again~
It's your thumb, you DORK...
Get back in your little boat grandpa
A big kid put a quarter in the airplane
Making google eyes at your Mom.
Those gosh darn Heteros, well what are you gonna do?
She's a waitress at the International House of Usher.
"Don't you play games with me, Ned Jackson." Not even our strip Risk?
we really need you to stop talking funny and kill that big bug -OVER-
Readly Rantis! Readly Rantis!
Who are you men and where's my soup?
Why do you blame my bottomless stupidity for everything?
Canada, our mortal enemy.
"For every action..." There is a Jackson.
The map you're about to see is true.
Touch of Evil 2:This Time It's A Bug
It's a magma flow of savings at Menards!
People say I'm fat, but I'm just big exoskeletoned
O little town of DEATHLEHEM.
The natural radar of pine trees protects our northern borders.
Hundreds of Bob Cranes scramble to the rescue!
Leave me alone!...my heart!...oh God...
i peed your pants i'm not sure how
I got a mantis in my pantis.
Gentlemen, commence tapping the Rockies!
Ugh, Ted, you've got the whole air, will yah move over ?!