805 - The Thing That Couldn't Die
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Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
I know! I'll try on the bed.
Little lady should be down to her twelfth layer of slip by now.
Uh, I'm over here, now!
Okay, tree. Start talkin'.
"🐺 Aaawwoooooo" -- 🎶 werewolves of London 🎶
Put it in there with the Ark of the Covenant.
"Better make sure he's really dead."
I am. You don't have to check.
"There's something I have to get."
"I stayed because I want to help you."
But we already rented out your room!
"I'm not going to leave the ranch."
The ranch is going to leave me!
"Just the two of them."
Then, they're BOTH in Hank's studio!
I shall now observe the ungainly peach colored creature.
She took off her dress and she's less nude than she was before.
Did you lay with the horned one again?
I almost feel sorry for him. Let's let him out and just hide all the knives.
"So this is what mankind has become."
My pogo stick broke!
"There's just one favor I'd like to ask."
Will you pull down my sweater in back?
Oh! Flavia takes a hit!
I guess we're not doing the original blocking.
Oh, the stick just slipped into drive.
*The Thing that Couldn't Die*
Couldn't die or wouldn't die?
This scene has strong asexual undertones.
The new fiberfill face.
That guy's smokin' a field mouse!
We found it in the trade rat's nest... He had a little tool and die shop down there.
"Don't you like it?"
I already have one!
Uh, sir, you're not helping your case.
"A date!" - Oh wait, I think it's a fig...
Her nightgown is comfort rated down to 20 below.
So Catholicism is a placebo.
"Get cracking, aunt Flav-O-Rite!"
SPEEDY HEARSE TO THE RESCUE!
"Doin' barium shooters!"
Okay, you stand there shrieking like a dental drill, and I'll go endanger myself.
Not only is this just a telephone dialing scene, the person dialing isn't even on the screen!
This is the life...rippin' off the old lady, makin' Mike do all the work, peepin'....ah, it's sweet.
His felt-tipped pen exploded!
I hope it rises and falls on you again!
"If you could open it up without breaking it..."
...like the lamp wants you to.
I'm going to put a skit on for you; just pretend we're at Carnegie Hall.
- Hank, go away. I said no; it's a disgusting idea!
- Come on, honey, I'll just quietly squeeze in between you two.
There's a wedge between her and Aunt Spatula now...
You have something in your nose...
- Did she drink a quart of Robetussin before she came out to divine?
- Whoa, it's raining Vaseline!
Are they hoping a ballgame will start?!
My, you're a big one, aren't you!
Turns out David Copperfield's in there...
Let's see now, where was I - oh, yes, Will Geer, yes...
E.G. Marshall, you are a bold one...
They're all dumb as posts and they home schooled her.
"For as long as I can remember I've been able to find things" Like this one time I found this rubberband.
Well. this is as close as we can get to the horses; they don't like us.
"I'm gonna divine the CRAP outta this place!"
"I have the strangest feeling."
Like I'm walking in applesauce.
"Remember, you walked into a painting of a door."
Hey, a Kandonsky!
Um, you didn't hear anything sneeze last night in the closet, did you?
Head rolls into the corral; the horses think it's an apple and they eat it - The End.
Must... defrost... fridge.
So they're conquistadores? Leprechauns?
If it would help, I'd sniff one of Linda's garments for you.
THE BIG VALLEY!
"You think you'll need that?"
You'll get my gun when you can pry it out of my cold, dead fingers.
Hmmmm, I want to look EVIL but not Satanic.
"From what I've read, dowsing runs in families."
You could employ normal archaeological tactics!
Don't place-kick me. It's not funny!
Frosted Lucky Charms! They're magically delicious!
"I just realized that I didn't pass anyone when I drove over."
That means fish prices will go down.
My hands are less strong than previously thought.
I thought you were Dale.
What if they Zip-locked the evil?
Sure, I'm an idiot, but it's a medical condition.
"She's at the age where she likes to dramatize everything."
"I hope you're right."
...because she's coming at me with a scimitar.
YOUR blood shows a recent chemoglobulin innoculation!
Let me spell you over there young feller.
You're,.. pulling,.... my,... hair!
"Well, Howdy ma'am." The kindly peeper.
Sometimes I worry that my lamps aren't feminine enough.
Everybody pretend you don't have blood!
"Stop where you are!" It's too late I'm no longer there.
Me have element of surprise on you.
Where do you get a concrete sport-coat?
"Who are you?" Gah, my heart!
Oh, I'd forgotten all about those.
"Now move your chair." I could move two chairs.
“Linda’s watch has been missing for about a week now.” As was previously indicated.
Ok Cowboy, hop in! Lets get this rodeo started!
"Mike wouldn't hurt Boyd. He wouldn't hurt anyone."
Of course, there were those hollowed-out cat heads we found in his room.
Well, there's that all-night historicial society.
Dear movie, thank you so much for this scene!
"I must do it to help someone..." - Like when I crushed your vertebrae.
So she's a narcoleptic somnambulist.
"His felt-tip pen exploded!"
"Fine. I'll try the psychotic virgin down the block."
"Sam Shepard is Chuck Yeager in 'Night, Mother'!"
"Unfortunately, she decorated her room with blunt instruments."
"I love it when she dresses like Billie Burke!"
"Great. How long d'you think an oily Beat is gonna' last at a country dance?!"
"She set the wall for dinner back there!"
"The first nuclear waste depository was a dismal failure."
"Ma'am, do we have crops to get in or horses to feed...?"
"This is an early version of The Milagro Beanfield War."
Sorry, my reverb was on.
"Even the wild boar in the hills." - Look, I'm sorry I told that story!
"Don't call me Mr. Hawthorne" Call me Mr. Jenkins, that's my name.
It looks medieval...."on yo ass"
My favorite riff ever
I'd love to see her slap him- he'd really go!
So how much of North America did the Elves colonize?
You know, a single long-stem stick says so much.
Trick or Treat! I'm going as a head with a big dumb guy carrying me!
Enjoy our crack staff Mike and oily horseman Steve.
Just warming m'butt!
I hope you drop peanut butter on your toe!
Plug it in Joe...
Oh I'm sorry is Jessica here?
What do you think, phony Beat?
Its the "We'll be there when we can." cops.
"I hope you're right." Cause shes comin at me with a scimitar.
Just cuz Me big and dumb, they think Me kill Boyd....Oh, right. Me did.
I think I got most of the rat droppings off of it...
"Uh, let's see, he glued his knife upright on a coffee table and fell on it.... no. We were carving soap into figurines and he tripped... no. We were stabbing each other and he died.... yeah that's it,that's the one."
"But I'm Alive With Pleasure Ma'am."
" Which Tree is the House ? "
"No, No, You wanted yourself TOSSING KITTENS into a MEAT GRINDER."
Next time use your empty hand to knock you idiot! You almost broke my nose!
They're in the classic "Let's pretend we didn't boink last night" pose.
I wasn't gonna shoot it. I was gonna clean it at you.
Have you ever seen The Children's Hour?
This scene has powerful asexual undertones.
I'd like to spank her chin.
Mike, insert me into her cleavage, then get lost.
Shhhh. Big boys don't cry. Big boys don't cry.
She took off her dress and now she's less nude than she was before.
-With Crow under our evil power, we can command him to perform unspeakable acts! -Like what? -Unspeakable, Mike, whadda need a dictionary?
Bob Dole, ma'am. Where's the outrage?
Is this dagger see before me?
Gidget, have you lain with the Horned One again?
It's hard science.
The villagers are coming to GET her...
He's ah geometrical savant...
So catholicism is a placebo...?
The guy is smoking a field mouse...
Oh goodness, I'll get my blunderbuss!
Well, it's hat related...
The Strom Thurman story!
There's something Arch Hall Jr. about her.
You're all evil and I hope you all have snacks!
Nah, nah, nah, nah, mess-it-up, mess-it-up.
A dramatization of the Lutheran attitude towards sex.
The sweeping romance of peeping...
Brought to you by the Breast Council. Buy breasts where you work or bank!
His work is uncluttered by talent.
Why don't you hit me anymore?
Stop where you are! It's too late I'm no longer there.
Aunt Fistula! Aunt Flatula! Aunt Caligula!
Let's see, we were stabbing each other and he died-yeah, that's it.
How duz diz chair work?
I just noticed that window treatment is evil.
Duh, which tree is duh house?
Oh Mike Douglas, Oh, Will Greer! Oh EG Marshall you are a bold one!
Ooohh, I think the Haley's M.O.'s starting to kick in.
Last week he gave me a Makita drill. I wonder what he's trying to say?
There's no trade rat but there is a skilled artisan rat.
Call me an empiricist ,but I need to see the water.
Well one things changed since I left. Jessica was 13 when I left for college, now she's 29. I had a bit of a hard time.
"But Jessica doesn't charge anything" -And the devil's built right in!
Think Flavia'll fit in that hole?
Come on -- tonsil box!
OK, who's for EVIL lunch before I take an EVIL nap?
Too bad... this tree was our state forest!
We need pine tar on this thing!
Why can't I just bend spoons with my mind, like everyone else?
Yeah, Joe dropped a needle; now he's off eatin' a Mallow Cup...!
Well, looks like somebody's mom let 'im grow up to be a cowboy...
o/ There's a black greasy smudge on my pillo~w o/
o/ There's a dark oily film on my headba~nd o/
o/ There's a thick yellow stain on my backbra~ce... o/
With Flavian doing it it looks positively immoral,the way she's licking the stick and everything.
Now remember,you walked into a painting of a door. Ok?
It looks medieval-on yo ass!
What, did she drink a quart of Robitussin before she came out to divine?
The big guy's hurt himself in so many ways since this guy left him... he shot himself, has a rat trap on his foot, fell down the stairs, covered with mud and tar and feathers
Aunt Flavor Flav!
Nice evenin'... I should really get drunk and hit someone
Old timer Billy Slater's doing community service.
"And don't call me Mr Hawthorne!" Call me Mr Jenkins, that's my name!
You know, the country needs skilled trade rats.
They beamed on to the planet OK Corral.
-just don't listen to talk-radio...
You're my favorite sister-daughter!
Here comes the bride, she's out of her freakin' mind.
So, she's kind of a Ouija broad?
I'm going to read my favorite Shakespeare play "Maysure for Maysure".
Start talkin' tree!
I only peeped 6 hours, but I'm going to write 8 on my timecard.
They took my traysure and now I feel displaysure!
Bring me the head of Edward Mulhare!