808 - The She-Creature
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Jake Gittis's Nostril Slashed at Reservoir...
- Hey, there's Bennett Cerf! And Billy Ocean!
-- Stop it!
The topography of this movie is getting a little suspicious.
Donald Duck has the ring of power!
Lieutenant Mickey Hart.
"You're smiling, Elizabeth." No, it's just gas.
"I have no act." Yeah, I saw it.
"It's right up your alley!" Ouch.
“You are in a sleep, a very deep sleep.” Well, I *was.*
I hope to god we don't see him in a thong by the end of the movie.
Makes you wonder what the He-Creature looks like.
"I was communicating with your thoughts before you left your home."
Yeah, communicate with my butt!
"Lombardi books, syndicated column, lectures, television shows..."
...cheese, a line of underwear!
I come home from a hard day of skulking and the place isn't clean! You're just laying there thinking of bon-bons!
Hey, I found another dirty diaper!
I can't believe I ate the whole thing.
Make yourself at home. Just looking at the wall here.
You've got the backstory, now run!
Look, you smell like Spam. It was my mistake, my mistake.
I married Aunt Bea.
Ah, Frodo's goin' snorkeling.
"I have a few theories and I wanna try 'em out on you." Santa is the killer.
Some squirrels down there are gonna have a kick-ass party.
Look deep into my upsetting moustache!
Don't worry, they have AAA.
Not interpretive dance! No!
How long has she had this pertrusion?
She gets up to faint!
It's the year kajillion.
I'm a stupid square head!
"Maybe he's jealous of me." Oo, that's weird...
Boy, it's humid today.
I think the director had some issues with his mother or something.
Did you bring the frisbee?
As your RA, I should warn you that you're facing expulsion .
Are you and I okay,though? I just want to check in.
I'm taking my soul and going home.
(Jimmy Stewart voice) ...you're crazy and you're driving me crazy too.
You know what? I'm glad you're the last of your civilization.
I'm what you might call a square kid.
Or a dull bastard.
"I invite him to join me on this platform so he may expose me." - NO! Euughh!
"Honey, this is supposed to be a memorial service for grandpa!"
"Hey, here's something"
- 'Course you can say that about anything.
Guess the stain and win a prize!
May i suggest a size up from that!
He's like an unattractive Slim Whitman!
This guy leaves grease stains in the air when he walks!
Endorsed by King the Dog!
Top Breeder Bat Masterson.
Hmmm...Howard the Duck was here!
Based on drunken comments made one night by Lou Rusoff.
Wow, look at those worms down there.
Who was that lethargic, lunk-headed stranger?
Despair? Love? Elation? Tell us!
Well, um, gosh...I, uh...
This means you're cured of alcoholism and you'll never touch booze again!
Some hate him! Others merely loathe him!
Her accent's all over the British Isles.
"In spayce, floating in spayce."
This might not be the money-making extravaganza they thought it would be.
Battle of the Mumblers!
I won't be able to SLEEEEEEEEEEP! tonight.
Looook into my oily T-zone!
This guy leaves grease stains in the air as he walks.
Step right up, I'll touch ya for a quarter.
He said SLEEEEEP!!!!!!!
"Hey here's something."
Of course, you can say that about anything.
What's that? Grandpa Lombardi fell down a well?
Hey, is there a Sturgeon in the house!!!!
Look into my eye-bags .
I was an hour away from retirement!
Look into my mustache...
"Big pans of sloppy sleep. . ."
"That voice - it didn't come from you." YES IT DID. (said in Lurch voice).
(King's hypnotic experience) You will think about Snausages!
"Your eyes are getting heavy... you can not open them." I put Super Glue in your mascara.
Shazam! My pipes gone!
'Kay, I'm under your command, but do you have to micromanage me?
I'm not touching you...does this bug you?
"Ladies and Gentlemen..." Lick me!
Ugh, I ate too much chocolate. Do I have anything on my face?
"She...she is too tense." She's a teepee and a wigwam.
Step right up and I'll touch you for a quarter!
Hey look he's moving! This scene was actually blocked!
'Keyser Söze on piano"
"I knew her when she was a carnival follower. Every time we hit a town she'd be there waiting for us."
'So she's a carnival preceeder.'
Your roasted elephant garlic, sir.
Is this felt? It is now! Heh heh!
"I have my own right."
And I'm my own grandpa.
I ate the whole cheese tray. I'm really sorry everyone.
I'm the special tonight. You can have me with drawn butter, relish tray, fruit cup or gravy, sliced tomato salad or muffin.
Guess the stain and win a prize!
"I need to get away from here, away from you."
Um, can I come?
Endorsed by King the Dog! "I barked my ass off! You'll laugh, you'll growl, you'll pee!"
Now, come here! I want to prove to you that I'm not the only one who craps in the corner!
I just found out my food is mostly rice! Can I have some lamb, please?
Mafia goons and withered spinsters partying together.
Keg in the bathtub as usual.
You'll remember nothing. Well, you'll remember how to go potty and chew and stuff.
Go cream some fish, ya square head!
"Concern? Passion? Hunger? What, Lance?"
"You're like my fish locator! You're like my global positioning system!"
"Dave Berg: Scientist."
"Cracking good toast this morning, eh wot?"
"Mandrake The Moron."
"The only person who can save our country is Rufus T. Firefly!"
"Put your leg down. You forgot to wear a slip!"
"Try the Pronto Pups™, by the way!"
"Why doncha' kiss 'im instead a' talking 'im ta' death!"
"Damn. I left the woman plugged in."
I'm making Hellraiser.
“Doctor, have I ever been alone in this room?” Not while I was here.
‘With- no- food- gerbils… die.’
How long has she had this protrusion?
-”That looks like Dr. Lombardi.”
-”That is Dr. Lombardi.”
-And that sounds like King’s bark.
I think I've made my point.
Mayhem I can put up with; it’s the damn dust! I…
Meanwhile on a nearby wedding cake...
Ill retain my football shaped head.
They killed Savage Pier!
See him perform live with his band Funkosaurus!
Look! My mouse melted.
INS. Are you harboring unfunny Swedes?
"Now he sits and waits." So do we! (Booo!)
"Hey, here's something." Of course you can say that about anything.
I think I mighta killed some people, and I'm feeling a little bad about it.
A little kid pooped in the ocean. They had to close the whole thing.
His kissing booth isn't doing very well.
Hmmm, Howard the Duck was here.
The Fleet Street line of beachwear.
Is this the Mr. Kite everyone's always doing stuff for the benefit of?
Gidget meets Magritte.
I didn't mean I hate you in a bad way.
Wow, it's the Federal Witness Seduction program.
By the way do you know why we love each other? I don't...
Take it easy, this is from Men's Warehouse!
Ever trim your ferns?
"Where do I fit in?" -You don't, I bought you out already.
She should get the Purple Heart for doing this role.
Inspired by Balki.
Tickle Me Carlo Lombardi!
And he ducks out of the screen. Goodbye!
Look into my oily T-Zone!
Space is warped and time is bendable.
"-Who's the reigning monarch?"
-Now wait a second! You're crazy, and you're driving me crazy too!
"Look at me, Andrea!" Ha, that's amazing!
-See his lecture series, let a smile be your calling card.
-Author, lecturer, coreographer.
You're a woman so you deserve no answer to your question.
"He did what I told him without a single word!" - That's because he's a DOG!
Starts kinda slow and then fizzles out all together.
"Now, you can hear everything I say." - Yes, I am beer Evelyn ping you day.
With no food gerbils die...
Would you like a C cup or a D cup of coffee ?...
...and to oiled jock - strap wrestling...
It's Helen Kellers' room...
The Rupaul story...
This guy leaves grease stains in the air!
You're gonna hang for this King
They tried to light it, but this movie is like a super absorbent black hole.
Yes King, I will kill him.
"I shall touch you, and soon you will be asleep." -So... Like every night.
What's that? Grandpa Lombardi fell down a well?
"...And I, Dr. Woof-Woof Lombardi!"
Ohhh, if I ever wanted to put a movie into a stump grinder, this is the one!
He's got a list of his facial expressions taped to her back!
I'm sorry I touched you, but you don't have to become a nun!
His emotional memory is the previous scene!
Looks like my grandma framed this shot -- plenty of wall...
They should do a jump ball for her soul!
Jeez, I lost my doves, too -- what next?
Gee, I'm supposed to do a kid's birthday party around here somewhere...
-Hey, he's moving! Look at that!
-Yeah, this scene was actually blocked!
Viewers are invited to finish this scene themselves!
Look deep into my eye bags!
He has the raw sex appeal of Caspar Weinberger!
Is he attempting a docking procedure here?
It's Carlo "Kato Lombardi" Kaelin!
Ahh, who am I trying to kid -- I'm not a she-creature, I'm a she-LOSER!
All this for a half-price beer...!
So, she's a SCUBA-diving lesbian...!
-Lombardi's act just keeps on giving, doesn't it?
-Yeah, he's the James Brown of hypnosis!
I saw Leo Kottke once, it was a bit more exciting.
Y'know, I would actually welcome a drum solo at this point.
Uh, Lombardi, ya got me parked in out there!
Big pans of sloppy sleep!
Please dont spend another Christmas passed out on the couch
Ow. My elbow.
Sometimes I just trail off... I don't uh...
Death by Murphy bed
So she's a scuba-diving lesbian?
Samuel Z. Wienerhead!
By the way, do you know why we love each other? I don't . . .
Hey, I'm a scientist!
You're gonna hang for this, King...
You must admit this would be impossible to fake!
Man this is scary. I'm not going to get any SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!
I washed him earlier with my mind