809 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"Inattentive service and brutal assault with steaming eggs marked my visit last week to what was formerly one of my favorite breakfast places."
Crow T. Robot, restaurant critic
That's all the foreshadowing we can afford right now
I'm getting satin vertigo.
"Tony?" Give up.
Now he unleashes the full force of his face at him!
It's all right if I kill a couple kids, Bonanza!
"The savage beast somehow gets inside and controls you!" Rush Limbaugh?
"It's a human being possessed by a wolf!" You say that on every case!
Spike goes in my vein and things ain't quite the same, Bonanza!
Can I borrow some milk?
Maybe they should have just waited for the sanctions to work.
Maybe they should have waited for the sanctions to work.
Prelude to the murder of a teenager.
"Two.... One..." -- is the loneliest number that you'll ever do.
"I am the pilot, and you're the passenger." -- I am the words, you are the tune, play me,
Did he lose his butt cheeks in World War II?
He's actually an “I was in Argentina during the war” Shepherd.
Animals are also afraid of vacuum cleaners, sir. Should we bring a bunch of those?
White trash, black heart.
Judy Garland runs out of pills.
Time for your compulsory, being-eaten routine.
Yep, this is one sport that's come a long way since the '50s
Well, you messed up the Manson case for us. That was not good.
Yeah, drag Siegfried and Roy in here.
The calls are coming from inside the cop!
We will march into the Forbidden Zone!
"Sometimes you just have to do things the way people want them done, that makes them happy and they leave you alone."
Wasn't a very good parade.
He's a janitor that doesn't play by the rules .
Chief Baker? You mean they got fresh baked goods on this shoot?
Oooooh, I may have overscooted.
The ear-level mounted bells.
"You better not let anyone hear you talk like that, Pepe. You'll wind up in a booby hatch."
I'm probably pretty tasty and well marbled, not something I've often thought of.
So, I bet you're real hot for that nondescript character we didn't give a ride home to, huh?
A huge tin of generic tomato soup! Yummy!
And canned okra slices!
Uh, sir, I think I saw a werewolf with a Chinese Menu in his hands.
Don't mention the War to this dog.
For sale by hobbit. Contact Samwise Gamgee.
It didn't have a hall pass.
He's an English werewolf: those teeth....
Donna Shalala to the rescue.
Hey, it's Lemmy from Motorhead, man.
And, after this, we'll all go out for a nice naked lunch.
Hippocratic Oath, Shmippocratic oath.
This is a job for Old-Teen!
I was a Teenage DORKwolf!
Ah, kids those days.
"Tony?" Like me.
Let's go milk his house!
And the 35 year old high school students look on.
I can't be captain, I'm too busy running the ship.
This is a good thing. She caught him in the act and can rub his nose in it.
"go wait in the car" "crack a window so you dont die"
"...99..." - Yes, Max? "...99...." - Yes, Max?
I don't mean to be picky but their ellipses are unevenly spaced...
They find the bodies from Stand by Me, River's Edge, Twin Peaks...
"...or even if you see any suspicious tracks, notify me immediately on the walkie-talkie." Or scream hysterically.
Try banging on his food dish, men!
Mhm, what the hell did I ask you again?
"You're welcome." Now I'll see you at home.
"Before you go, I want to see you two fellows shake hands." And come out fighting. Ehh no, no, wait...
Werewolf's girlfriend, how may I place your call?
Danger!Will Robinson!Danger! (ok it wasn't in the movie but it should have been:)
Looks like it Curtains for Her!
~Boy! You'll be a Werewolf soon!~
I was a Teenage Werewolf snack!
You know Werewolf's are just as afraid of you as you are of them.
It's called Mega-Wolf 2000
I thought it was alright if i picked a little fight..Bonanza....
If only they'd provided milk to throw!
and Hoss signs the commitment papers...
Sock Hop of the Damned!
Wet Him is worse than Him!
Cindy Lou Bozo
Oooohh...when Clowns mate!
We're now entering a Genital Free Zone!
Oh God! Pant Alert!
Oh by the way Mike...we have humidity on the ship...you might want to have that looked at!
Hey Frank! "Lighting Fires & Masturbating!"
Geez, he's the kind of kid who would drown in a rain storm.
Bet you when he tries to run his shoe breaks and his skirt is to short to run in.
So in answer to your question, yes my face has been compared to a pork roast.
We had to do it. We had to ...
I was a Teenage Werewolf Snack.
Careful, he's packing half & half.
"Tony..." Give up.
I'm having a generic emotion.
The world's most unflattering leotard.
"I know you can get fresh!" With Summer's Eve...
-"All right, did you failed too?"
-"Yeah, we searched Hooters, Deja Vu, Buns and Roses and Fatburger...no luck!"
You are NOT drinking a pina colada at Trader Vic's, young man! You're just not old enough!
So he wasn't gummed to death by a pack of baby minks. . .
"Tony"...I threw milk once too!
You know...one advantage of a werewolf...they scoop their own poop!
Now go spot some trains!
♫When the spike goes in my vein, things aren't quite the same, bonanza♫
Hey! Don't you do that! You put that butt right back in your pants, young man!
Fudd, you check the woods and be vewy, vewy quiet.
Ed, this is Jed, Ned, Cletus, Scooter, Cooter, Jim Bob, Joe Bob, Clem, Clay and Bocephus
I amuse myself with fantasy. Like I'm the stable boy and my assistant is the contessa
Go ahead my boy. Drop trou.
He studied mumbling with David Duchovny
Here, try that, you'll kiss God.
Oh no! No head shrinker for me! Hair shrinker maybe.
he used to light his beefs---he used to sit on my head and beef
She lives on the corner of enable and codependent
Mom got her hair styled like Aaron Burr.
"I used to have a foreman like that. Everytime I assembled a motor my way he beefed." Ewww!
J. Edgar Hoover: Grief Counselor
We are now entering a genital-free zone!
They smell refer, Tide and mildew down there!
He may urinate submissively, I must warn you!
Make him talk, you little werewolf loving tart.
A werewolf like that he keeled your brother.
"I like him a lot!"
"-You see his face? I mean before?
-I'll never forget it."
Until the hearing.
-Jeez, I told you to fan out!
I forgot my glasses.
... just see if my underpants are cold yet.
"You holding me on any charge?" Second degree milk hurling.
A sandwich is a sandwich, but a man is a meal.
"The results of the case of Mrs Banks indicate that" I have made her into a werechicken
Looks like it's curtains for her!
When clowns mate.
You know, my dog told me something fascinating today.
What's he playing, Vulcan Solitaire?
"Don't eat it raw, like you did with the hamburger last week!" That's all the foreshadowing we can afford.
Son, your blow-comb is grounded.
-Hey, it's Depressing Dad.
-Haven't killed myself yet, son.
John Carradine has major booty compared to Michael Landon.
It contained bovine growth hormons and it turned him into a giant cow.
This is for your bed-wetting movie!
"No no no no-- wait! Let's sniff butts and talk about this!"
"Well, he shouldn'ta' worn his Beef Bouillon After-Bath Splash!"
"Gimme' back my pig's ear, ya' jerk!"
"They couldn't shoot at night, because the night belongs to Michelob™."
"I thought the night belonged to lovers."
"Well, it did, but it was bought out by Michelob™."
"Wow! State College! Then on to Refrigeration School!"
"Could you and I ever be more than spinster and lycanthrope?"
"Can't believe Merlin Olsen got that flower gig!"
"Doctor, you're out of Redbooks in the waiting room!"
"Art Blakey and his Jazz Messengers are after me! Help me!"
"Mom's inside, lickin' Metamucil™ off Dad..."
"Class President: 1 & 2; Photo Club: 2; Werewolf: 3 & 4."
"Fae, make sure his hair is perfect!"
London Calling yes I was there too!!!
Cornsarnit! Dadgummit! Son of a biscuit! Dagnabbit! H-E-double-toothpicks! Great Caesar's ghost!
The bells bells bells bells bells bells bells the tintinnabulation of the bells!
"Donovan, yeah." I'm just mad about saffron, right.
Does the wolf have rice cakes in his shoes?
"Cool he's got the KEITH RICHARDS signature syringe!!"
"I was a Teenage Werewolf Snack."
"I gotta go..." ..... "My very abusive boyfriend is here!!"
"I smeared dad with MASCARPONE last night."
"New Sport: Freshman Tossing!!"
"Well at least they'll see him this way now." Riddled with our panicky bullets.
I trust you implicitly, doctor. Nothing bad has happened to me under your care.
What a beautiful, gray spring day.
Meanwhile at Dad Noir's house.
1943. An ewok makes it behind German lines.
The werewolf is an herbivore. Luckily, this guy's name is Herb.
"Alright, we'll move in stagger fashion." 'Cause we're drunk.
My, my, I was a very RUDE teenage werewolf.
Ow! I'm doing it again! What the hell is wrong with me!
Boy, Dennis the Menace's later years didn't go very well.
The medical definition of this is: Spaz Attack.
"I'm okay. I don't need a ride." What was I thinking! It's like forty-seven miles!
So this guy's shortcut is through the Carpathian Mountains?
Ding-ding-ding-ding-ding! We have a victim!
May I cut in and kill one of you?
Mike, I'm gonna ask you to kill me now. Mike, please kill me.
What am I gonna put on my Cocoa Puffs!
This message brought to you by the Despair Council.
Off to my job at DismalCo.
Take the droppings life offers you.
Okay, a little old lady got mutilated late last night. You kids know anything about it?
This is *not* part of the Highway to Heaven.
I'm going to cultivate you to a uniform two inch depth!
Filmed on Joan Collin's bedsheets.
Don't do anything. Dogs can sense bad acting!
Get in your pet taxi.
"Fangs?" You're welcome.
Oh my falsies!
Please don't sniff dad's crotch, ok?
Free pimple cream sample! Yay!
"I'm being attacked by a Berenstain Bear!"
The blood of my victims cleanses the earth...
~Boy... You'll be a werewolf soon...~
Human being or catcher's mitt? You decide!
Betcha anything when he get's chased his heel breaks and his skirt is too short to run in...
I thought it was alright if I picked a little fight, Bonanza.
And now the dance team of Sissy and Sissy.
"Hi, did you fail too?" "Yeah, we searched Hooters, Dejavu, Buns and Roses, and Fatburger, no luck."
He's devolved too much! He enjoys Adam Sandler movies!
I thought it was alright if I picked a little fight... Bonanza?
Careful, he's packing Half-and-Half!
"I get a certain feeling I have to --" throw dairy products.
I was a teenage werewolf until that summer of passion, when I became a man!
It looks like Paddington on a bender ...
Sir, ..... I gotta get back and transfer Oswald ...
Lighting fires & masturbating ...
She lives on the corner of Enable & Co - Dependent ...
Oh and seal off the entire town under a giant plexiglass dome thanks.
Oh! He's Johnny Depping!
Thanks a lot, you knobs!
If only they'd provided milk to throw.
Ooh! Right in the Little Joe!
15 teenagers savagely tore apart one of their peers today...
They're listening to "Kind of White".
Jabba the Husband
Sock-Hop of the Damned...
Crack a window so you don't die.
Mother, get the bat...
So he was gummed to death by a pack of baby minks.
"the deepest secrets of creation" like, How do they make frogs?
"any canine they'd see with sharp white teeth, and glittering eyes was called a werewolf" even fish
thats all the foreshadowing we can aford now.
I nary to know the distinction betwixct shynola and that other stuff
Does walking through it make you want to kill yourself? Then it's a high school!
but doctor I found a letter jacket in my stool this morning!
Do his weremom and weredad know his wereabouts?
who's your daddy?