810 - The Giant Spider Invasion
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Soon, Hitler's giant mechanical spiders had pushed past the Maginot Line.
Here comes a Duke Of Hazard.
Honey, M.I.T. called.
These two have every 'Married With Children' on tape.
Mr. Kester, ALL your tests are positive.
Hooterville was decimated by Scud missiles that day.
ahh, Brett Favre at home.
I hope Earth has its diaphragm on.
"you look like you could use a drink" ..and a shower and a job.
This guy blows up his neck waddles to attract women.
Meanwhile, a glowing splint from a high school vo-tech class speeds towards Earth.
Bill Rebane's trademark "a shot of crumpled underpants".
In her defense, laying off the booze would mean seeing him sober.
The doctor should have been more specific when he told her to get plenty of fluids.
...one of our local spiders.
So it's stupid and smells of beer sweat?
Let's go down to Dutch's for some meatloaf.
Well ... back to the tea.
There it is again ! Boom !!
It's such a nice day, and they're wasting it making this movie.
Crank up the Molly Hatchet and go to town !
...ring ring..., "Doughy has-been"!
Hour three of the invasion: we took the refridgerator!
You know, I just don't look at that table that often, you know, just occasionally. Really it's just kind of a periodic table.
So you're a woman....
Must be like a homecoming for you, eh, Mike?
“Well Bessie’s been depressed but I didn't think she’d do this.”
“What would be the safest way to find the exact point of impact?”
“Have YOU do it.”
"I've called for the National Guard." But he's not in.
It's Johnny Crappleseed!
He's doin' kind of a grunge amish look.
He's a freelance pooper scooper!!
Ah, the Wal Mart family.
"Horton." Where they hear Who's.
And the movie ramps up the repulsion! This movie hates us, doesn't it?
Don't turn on the light! --NOO!!
Movie? Come on, movie! Here boy!
*Pee Wee Herman voice* I like you, Dotty, Like!
Welcome to Beer Hall Putsch Days!
The spider's using all eight eyes now, I can tell you that!
Glad he's not a mohel...
Are you as turned off as I am?
The spider must have been really wet.
Does he raise tomatoes? I didn't know he raised tomatoes!
It's always funny when you turn down tea and then you want tea! Ha!
well. happy arbor day.
Well, it was executive produced, at least there's that...
Does it matter that the Spider ate him with its butt?
I wish they hadn't led us down the GIANT spider path if they couldn't deliver.
Ah, the firework.
No-one hunts out of season in Wisconsin!
Securing butt, over.
"-More freaky stuff from northern Wisconsin."
The Dutch & Helga Show!
WELL I GOTTA CLEAN OUT THE PRE-FILTER AND THEN I'LL BE BACK, OK?
I will grow into my beauty.
"A showered person, thank god!"
REAL stories of the FAKE highway patrol.
No! That's the bed!
Take your pantsuit from your back...
"Uhhff" Did you beef?
On the way to light the flares, I forgot them.
This invasion is awfully sluggish.
Gypsy: "close your eyes, Go to sleep, be absorbed by the collective...fade away, lose your soul, be replaced by a drone...let evil super-consciousness swallow you whole...surrender all, give it up..."
"Now, let me show you my conception of the creation of this universe..."
-...And repulsive and stupid!
"Dark? It's not dark," Rebane declared.
Young Bill and Hilary struggle to make it.
Jog-walk out of danger!
Oh, he's a handsome, handsome man.
Maybe he's Amish and doesn't believe buttons.
Charles Manson. Jeweler.
Alan Hale literally phoned in his role....
Action Phone Scene!
50 Ft. Spider!?! "actually it's a Furry Dune Buggy"
Are we dead, Mike?
The movie takes the brave step of not including the audience...
Packers win the superbowl! WOOOO!!!
Hopefully we'll work up enough speed to launch us into Minnesota so we can eventually start a real life...
Packers Fans - The Horrible truth!
-U.S. OUT OF NORTH AMERICA!
-AND PACKERS!!!! WOOOO!
"Could it happen?"
Could the movie get even worse?
There's a white trash spill out on Old Possum Junction.
Charlotte's doing bachelor parties now.
(as the two scientists roll down the hill)..."There goes the last shred of dignity!"
I'm starting to wish the South would rise again and crush the North.
Normally i stuff people up my butt, but in your case I'll let you come in the front way.
I'm gunna put on a dashiki and blow your mind
Bill Rebane: filmmaker and feminist.
It's more like the Minor Spider Unrest.
I'm gonna squash your shoe under me!
(Spider in blender) Weee!!
"NASA, Houston." Where they have a problem.
Just looking for a clean glass here.
Kinda wish the South would rise again and crush the North.
Dedicated to the memory of Crazy Legs Elroy Hersch.
The Brodie to Rebane ratio is a little rich.
Visuals? For a movie? Who needs 'em?
What if my friends don't have relatives?
Bra snap, toke, bra snap, bra snap, toke...Petting, toke, kiss, grope, bra snap, snooze, spit ball!
Are we still on for the Richard Feynman lecture?
How was your day at the WHORE?!
Good thing he's not a moyl.
"Well, maybe we didn't plant corn."
Take your time, movie. . .
"Don't act with your tongue, Alan."
"I made a 'R'."
Are we dead, Mike?
Ooo, he stood up! He's got to get hazard pay for this!
It's Milling Around Days!
The Diamond Anniversary Ring. Tell her you'd marry her right out of high school all over again.
Well, got to get up early to start drinking.
Don Juan DeStinko!
Honey, I need changin' again.
I've got to go drain the little buddy, I'll be right back.
"The JOY that you are feelin' RIGHT NOW is JUST the BEGINNING!"
It *better* be.
I wanna go pet the wounded goat
Pork Vacuum! I mean, uh, Sheriff..
See city managers deal with traffic issues!
"Quit pickin' tobacco! We're makin' a movie here! Damn migrant workers!"
"Wait a minute! We can't hunt! We're not drunk enough yet!"
"Tonight, on a very special Waltons, Mary-Ellen runs around in her underwear!"
"Well, Bessie'd been depressed, but I didn't think she'd do this."
"So... McRib™ Sandwich with McFlies™."
"Divide by ten in minutes! Add up to three columns in an hour!"
"The Philodendron Story!"
"Hello...? Movie? C'mon, Movie! C'mere, Boy!" [whistle]
"America Online tries to keep up."
♪ ♬ "Like A Rock..." ♬ ♪
Remember, don't put your spider in the microwave if you wrap it in tin-foil.
Remember, I mate, THEN I kill!
Too many Jello-shots...
Robert McNamara escalates the war in Gleason!
[...and black holes, like collapsing stars] Like Robert Downy!
[I wonder why she hung up on me] Maybe your bodily funk travels over the phone line!
♫Helter Skelter... der der der-der... ♫ Have you seen the little piggies...♫
Ed Wood's Lolita.
I'm fine! I'm fine, Mike! I've had french roast, Vivarin, diet pills, uh uh, Mountain Dew, Jolt, Water Joes, Su-su-su-surge! Uh, chocolate covered espresso beans, M&Ms and I'm listening to Nitzer Ebb!! And and and I'm fine Mike! Really, I'm fine!
Aryan... Nation... rules...
Let's play William Burroughs and Joan.
I figure we could have sex 'til this blows over.
Ya know when Barbara Hale won her Oscar for this, she made a touching speech where she said, in effect, "VaaAAaaAAaaAAaaNCE !"
Professor made a toaster out of coconuts?
These people are really the backbone of your casino-based economy.
Ah, the bright promise of a disgusting new character.
Uh, Mr Rebane? You really can't see anything. Just shut up and keep shooting Mr NYU Film pants!
"Get down!" - Get funky!
We got giant Prairie Dogs!
And the blast was felt yards away.
"A human body." It was walking along the street and I killed it.
Cow tipping gone HORRIBLY wrong.
"I've gotta keep up my strength." "What for?" Tearin' food stamps is hard.
Actually filmed inside the finger hole of a bowling ball.
"Hey looking for a new GILLIGAN, are you interested?"
"I suppose you're wondering What's Eating Gilbert Grape."
"WALKING TALL 3... The High Cholesterol Years."
"Use the yellow pages, and let your fingers do the walking."
This movie hates us, doesn't it?
Spider, cut it out, honey. I'm tired.
There's a big yellow stain on mah back brace.
I am Death, destroyer of lawns.
I'm gonna pre-bury myself to save time after I die.
♫The hills are aliiive♫with the smell of thaaat guuuy♫
"Yer so dumb you wouldn't know rabbit turds from rice crispies" Crow: snap, crackle, poop
I feel shaky, oh so trembly! I've had whiskey and vodka and gin!
I'd like to say a few words - this guy's dead, the end.
30 lashes with a wet noodle.
"Your car won't start?" Then you might be a redneck.
This isn't a very good remake of "Sabrina."
Hooterville was invaded by Scud missiles that day...
Earth has its diaphragm on.
The only way I can tell you're alive is when you flush the toilet ! Like they have a toilet.
Alan Hale digests a kilbasa.
It's The Lions Club medium-rare chicken booth. Free range and beer fed. Basted with sun-brewed mayonnaise.
"Diamonds are supposed to cut glass." Too bad their windows are made out of cellophane and duct tape.
If you were five years older I'd jump ya. Well, I got cables in the car ma'am.
"Iiiiii ... injected paralyzing toxin into the Sherrrriifff ... but I DID not inject paralyzing toxin into the DEPuuuTeeee ..."
"Giant spider ate him with it's BUTT."
"I'm only wearing ONE Pant-suit."
"PACKERS WON THE SUPER-BOWL .. YEEAAAAHHHH!!!"
If you see only 10,000 movies this year make sure this ISN'T one of them.
Ah, music budget ran out.
Repeat what you say to provide exposition?
Mork of Orc was brought to St. Mary's hospital but pronounced dead on arrival.
"Frankly speaking, Doctor..." - I wanna see that pantsuit hit the floor!
I think I had a hot dog in here once.
This is where you find a crocheted beer can hat.
They saved a lot of money buying the old Gein place.
Uh he's lactating.
UH! I wanna kill the guy that invented stairs!
Audiences won't soon forget when the thing we didn't know what it was, was put in a helicopter by the guy we didn't know!
You rolled on me!
Oh, I hate it when a movie kills off a beloved character...this is great though!
Giant Puppet Invasion!
Is a Japanese tea ceremony taking place next door??
"Want a piece of milk?"
Charles Manson, Jeweler.
"What the hell was that?" ...It's befuddlin' my dumb cracker mind.
Ya know, they're poor only in money... and spirit, and dignity, and moral fiber, and hygiene.
"Have you seen the little piggies?"
The Joe Don Baker Museum
Film extra Noir.
ehh, i'm gonna call off the invasion, it's just not worth it!
I love tick infested hounds,slaughtering a deer,and beer...
Go spiders! Go spiders!
And somewhere in the world, a helicopter exists.
"Let's say they fell out of the sky." Ha ha, well met, my friend! This battle of wits is over.
George Hamilton finally overtans.
His arm looks like, as if it was carved out from lard.
Don't act with your tounge, Alan!
Moses, move the bike!
Paul INFECTED Bunyun..... Old McDonald had ah Cyst
Wanna piece ah milk?
Disturbing the peace? We can do that.
Repeat everything you say to provide exposition?
Sir, you o-fend me.
Gotta nip it in the bud!
Our proud Viking heritage.
PACKERS!!! WOOOO, PACKERS!!!
"AAAAAAAAAH!" GOT MILK?!
This movie tested well with sexual predators.
A showered person, thank God!
The movie that takes the bold step by not including the audience.
I don't know how, but I just became sterile.
She's drinking fermented Yoo-hoo.
How can you have a guest star in a movie?
I will grow into my beauty
Mike, if I should slip into a coma during this movie, please, PLEASE do not take ANY extraordinary measures to revive me.
It's a Giant Spider Invasion of savings at MENARDS!
It's a Giant Spider Invasion of savings at MENARDS!
If your stomach can handle it, I'd like to show you my vasectomy scar
does it matter that the spider ate him with it's butt? nah, it seems suitable for this guy.
We're your dirty socks!! Wash us!!!!
Charlet's doing bachelor parties now.
humor of the 1840's
snap crackle poop
It came from planet grossout...
PACKERS WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!
Not a joke but an incredible simulation...
Wanna piece of milk?
this is not the purpose of 911 ma'am....