811 - Parts: The Clonus Horror
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
The Longtime Companion Olympics
"No! I'm just like you are!"
Isn't that horrible?!
I'll leave you a lump of dough with hair on it to remind you of me.
The party died out pretty quick there...
"Well obviously not for everyone. It wouldn't be practical or economical." Or Republican
I guess I got to go a little easier next time...
It says, "Please help me down from this tree"
He looks like the monster from Rocky Horror
He's got the finely toned body of a pro golfer.
“I...I’ve grown accustomed to you”...yeah, like breathing out and breathing in...
Meatloaf sweats less than this guy.
The Des Moines Olympics are kind of a letdown.
Yeah, he's gonna wake up the whole floor and tell 'em about that damned can again.
I love it when you talk about your other boyfriend.
I guess Bing Crosby was sellin' hats.
"Uh... Shouldn't we wrestle and slap each other now?"
Pull down your shirt and pretend this never happened.
Sorry, we need your liver to keep your clone alive.
"It's still in the experimental stage..."
...it's called Biography on Ice.
Mark Spitz and Michael Caine at home!
Keenan Wynn is Jack Perkins as Mr. Food.
He's a nurse's aide who doesn't play by the rules!
I forgot to have my nightly glass of cottage cheese.
Daddy! Rex treed a lumpy man!
Dick Sergent, communist.
Do you want to watch Sonny and Cher tonight, young man?
I think he's ready to play quarters now, doctor.
I'll stop at the duty free shop in America and get you something neat!
This is Coco and Studly on the K-Rock morning zoo!
So, life is a constant noncompetitive track meet?
All the double-wides in LA, & he holes up with the Lockhorns.
... and he bumps right into Bruce Willis!
This movie was really a promotional film for UW-Stout.
A little something for the ladies...
"Don't tell me that!" It's dirty!
He's not done; the poker didn't come out clean.
"Did you like America?" Well I liked "Horse With No Name" but...
Will you wipe me, clone daddy?
We found it! This is the horror!
*guy in speedo* AHH!! Why?!
He looks like an adult fetus.
Hey, use a turn signal, jerk!
Hey, a supermodel factory!
C'mon, lets put out our flaming crotches and we'll try and find your nose
Parts: The Village People Horror!
Door-to-door Biography. I'd like to tell you about the fascinating life of Charles Grodin.
When 2 Brains love each other they may decide they may want to share the same Brain Pan, as it were.
Let me guess. He's going to turn down his mouth and look depressed for a change.
This is our ool. Notice there's no "p" in it!
"You're going to find this hard to understand. I... I know I do." You can't be on Biography.
"Where is he?" "My house, why?" He's needed for Biography.
"Dr. Nelson, hold that elevator." I can't, it's too big.
"I have a question." I'll hang up and listen.
Uh, doctors, do you remember if we had an objective for this whole thing?
I'll take over from here.
"Ooh, sperm races!"
Tonight the brilliant career of Dick York...on Biography!
The Go-As-Slow-As-You-Can-Without-Tipping-Over Race.
I like working at the *unintelligible*.
A separate peace... of crap.
Fresh, wood smoked Aryan man!
There was this thing one time. I saw it, it was really neat too!
"What is this, a joke!?"
Are you a clown? Do you amuse me?
We want Billy Beer!
I'm Merl Schreib; I'll paint any movie for $49.95.
I am Brown from The Sun.
so you're a stupid, hideous, ugly, and repulsive clone. So what.
I'll have to report this
to the council of loser clones
"There's something different about you"
*Deep Bass Voice* "There is?"
Can't smoke chocolate, I know that now!
Now I get it - I don't understand a thing!
I mean, what were you, cloned from a sack of doorknobs?
He's like a sensitive Steve Guttenberg.
Would you stop playing Pong back there!
Shh. I don't wanna wake me.
The director just points the camera at the lamp and trusts the lamp to carry the scene.
Trot! Trot for my life!
"Anna, if you weren't pregnant, I'd leave you."
"50 free hours of AOL™?!"
"Watch. He'll run into Chauncey Gardener coming the other way."
"Lou Rawls is The Equalizer!"
"They're watching the Mondrian channel."
"Boys and Girls, today's film is called, Virginity: Your Precious Gift!"
"Yeah... yeah, I'm gonna' do it. I'm gonna' start a band called Air Supply!"
"Aahhh, go eat a mushroom, Mario!"
"Now don't fill it with Smucker's™ like last time, Doctor. That wasn't funny."
"He's just... makin' sure he hates this."
"Big boys don't cry... Big boys don't cry..."
"Yeah, I gotta get to the can."
Bag you own people and save at Super-Value!
Thank you, Sir Dad.
You turn the light on. That's why you're my assistant.
I'm Richard. I gotta remember that!
I'm so bad with names.
"And I WILL be president!" Oh, you can be president of my butt
"This could prove to be interesting." But I doubt it.
"It's good to know I have all of you as friends." Except you
Breaking Away 2: The Clonus Horror
"What really happened to Shields and Yarnell?"
Sorry about our pants touching earlier.
"All I know is that you're talking crazy" -And I'm the Posture Prince.
I want my Teddy Grahams
He didn't FLUFF!
we would like to thank Mrs. Taylors 4th grade class for transcribing our secret clone notes!
"I'm going to have to report this." "To who?" "I'm going to have to report that too." Uh oh, this is startin' to stack up.
"It's easy to get hurt." Like when I got my butt caught in the toaster.
I think Yoshi parked up on seven.
They may have to rethink their eleven dollar security budget.
Mike, I think the voices in my head are louder than usual...
Larry Dallas IS The Saint.
"Your eyes. They're so alive." - Your nose. So truncated!
"Oh..!" - You're ugly!
It's fun when there are things!
America not available in some areas.
♪They're dying in America, TODAY!♪
"I want you to start at 100, and count backwards." Oh man, I should've studied.
"I like having you touch me." "Me too." I like to touch me too.
Saturn, a different kind of car company.
I'll leave you a lump of dough with hair on it to remind you of me.
Have some sun my little friend
Lets put out our flaming crotches and go find your nose
Oh why don't you kiss him instead of holding him to death?
"This is not my world."
"It's a marshmallow world."
Professor Darrin and Dr. Super Mario Brother
"Would you like to share a quarter can of watery Old Mil with me?"
Now let's put out our flaming crotches and find your nose.
Malibu Barbie is down!
So they took the blood out of his right arm and put it in his left arm.
I don't think he's a natural blonde, doctor.
Uh... Sir, does he have to be nude for a simple hang nail operation?
Oh please invent the sports bra soon!
Frozen bodies, do you have anything you'd like to share with the class?
"I'm so alone here".
Well, there's the Ropers & Jack Tripper downstairs.
What does M-I-L-W-A-U-K-E-E spell?
Please wait ...
It spells $2.99 a case.
I'm gonna amortize the crap outta some of these spreadsheets.
Apparently e e cummings wrote it.
Would you turn down your stupid Brian Eno CD, doctor?!?
cutting Medicare, what?!
Let's face it--Clones are rock stupid.
"Where do you live?" - Later on!
Regardless of race, black people are not allowed at this University.
There's a stirring in my little Clonus...
Stop it! No heaving, thrusting, or splaying!
Room service at the Chelsea Hotel.
Let's go film tampon commercials everybody!
I got into Hamburger-U.
"Hop on Pop" the movie.
Grandma's back and she had Ensure.
I lost all my Biography money, went straight up my nose.
Oh yuck, it's turning him on!
I can't hear what they're saying, and frankly I don't care
KRRSH!!... damn kids
A face inspired by a tuna melt.
Honey, we got mimes.
It's missionary position practice!
And never darken my towels again!
Let's go pray to the shrine of dolly the sheep!
Thank you nurse, that was a nice Aria.
"Will you take me now?" WHOA!
Only YOU can prevent groin fires.
Wow...they're raising a race of Becks!
It's delicious hot dog water
Yeah, Grandma and Grandpa will be fine on their own.
Um, guys...this is supposed to be the fifty-yard dash! Oh, never mind.
This is not sanctioned, gentlemen; you're doing this on your own!
Wow. This is gold.
pshh. OW. psshh. OW. psshh...
and I'm gonna try to get there TONIGHT. ...oorrRR TODAY!
Never store combustibles with your old people.
Well, I'm gonna go hem up my shorts a little more
FORGOT ABOUT THOSE COOKIES!! SORRY!
Let's see, what am I thinking? Uh..."Duh" that's it.
HQ, my hat looks like a muffin, over.
I think you're neat! I like how keen you are!
Tonight on Biography the story of Julius Caesar. Tomorrow night, funny man Charlie Callas.
"You know what I stand for." Biography.
Convenient he wandered into the Department of Backstory....
I like mittens!
She really WAS on top of old smokey...
She looks like Henry Silva in a wig.
Dr. Luigi is going to assist me here.