812 - The Incredibly Strange Creatures...
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
The first trimester is always the hardest.
Awkward...for some reason.
I had an accident.
Uh-oh, dance critic!
He single-handedly killed the folk revival.
"The nerve of some people!" The nerve! He saw me in my modest business suit!
"Please don't go." Your hair won't clear the door.
"Every time I get near one something strange happens to me." Like when I grew antlers.
You will beeee Nicholas Cage....
Oh he's a loud smoker!
So are they implying there’s a country-music fest happening, like, a mile away?
This was digitally recorded, then erased, then RE-recorded on a dictaphone...
Gosh, you know, I advise other people to get their schick out of shape and my schick is no where near out of shape...
*Sign* I miss liquor
Lack of muscle beach.
Well, that cleared up nothing.
But first, I'm going to unnaturally twirl my umbrella at you.
Mike, then u can just get the caterer 4 Servo's 1st Communion YOURSELF! ~Crow
"Wow, he looks like Nosferatu."
"I am interested."
"Oh, work your magic, Boone's Farm!"
🎶Jerry the zombie on the rocks, say yee-esss🎶
A field trip for scout troop 34
Mommy, daddy, don't fight
Carmelita, singing the songs of Leonard Cohen
Croat and Madison-they're feebs!
Oh, I thought it was Hollywood, Republic of CHAD!
Ride the wrecking ball.
You're totally mental, I must say...
This is Herbie the misfit elf
Catwoman at home.
I dedicate this song to Sylvia Plath.
So how is this a tribute to Madeline Albright?
You know, oddly enough, Andrea Dworkin choreographed this.
Why'd you cancel Battlestar Galactica??
It's the funk of the hooded sweatshirt he's been wearing through the whole film that's got him down.
Western Zombie music, a short lived fad.
I came to explain about my head.
Then, I killed those guys and it's just a fog after that.
The size of the word "presents" makes me think they're a little sheepish about it.
Get touched by a carney!
Oh, his hair must need a drink of water.
There is something Laverne and Shirleyesque about this.
It is clown law!
I threw up in your hair, I'm sorry.
Climb the terrifying gazebo.
You weigh about the same as Albert Speer...
There's something Laverne & Shirley-esque about all this.
A cavalcade of heads from the early '60s...
Let's tell each other what we're going to do before we do it, and then do it!
Filmed in Nauseavision!
Tom Petty in the morning.
♫ Buried with my donkey, he's my favorite honky! ♪
I'll suck the bullet out!
GET your terrifying devil monkeys!
So... a shot of a rainy street corner somewhere. Thank you, movie.
Alright, lady you've hypnotyized the HELL outta him!
He doesn't look like a Carmelita...
Watch as she.. walks around.
You've got mail!
"From the expression on your face, it would seem to me that you are searching for something." Yes, booze!!
"Welcome, my dear! Won't you sit down?" Do you mind if I sit down first?
We are joyriding.
"Shots ring out, but the people of Bosnia bravely go on with their peep shows."
I have fear!
During our news break, we changed our format to all trumpet fanfare.
You know, I saw the sequel to this, TISCWSLABMUZ2
It sounds like somebody's playing a cow.
(at 1:15, as the man enters the house) Nyah, you have to try harder than that to avoid a date with me
He won't sleep if you keep hitting the steady cam against his forehead!
Hot Dogs! Fresh Roasted Peanuts!
Ladies and Gentlemen...The Glenn Close Experience!
Alrighty Then!(Jim Carrey)
Let's hear it for Hank & Larry!
Wow! That's testing the tensile strength of the duct tape.
Oh, I saw the Little Sizzler there Hank!
Well at least he shaved under his armpits.
Guess the genders and win a free cocktail
♫ My Anaconda don't want none unless you got buns Hon ♫
Well Gee Wally(Beaver)
'I've got to get home. I've got a date.' "with a Carney!"
I notice you haven't soiled yourself yet, sir. Is there a problem?
[Crow] Now Brandy, she was a fine girl... what a good wife she would be! But, as I previously stated, my life, my love, and my lady is...
[Mike] ...is the...the sea...
[Crow] ...the sea.
♫ Jerry the zombie, on the rocks ♪
♪ Say "Yes!" ♫
[Tom, in the voice of Snake from The Simpsons] "Oh no-- cops!"
[Crow] Now, I don't know if I ever told you this, Mike, but my life, my love, and my lady is the sea.
[Mike] Uh, yeah, you did, actually...
[Crow] Oh I did! I'm sorry.
Poor kids, they're just mixed-up!
The Indigo Girls try to find the stage....
So, they're white people, dressed as Africans in whiteface....
Lawrence Welk reaches out to the black audience.
The Kennedy touch-football game gets out of hand!
If he wasn't confused by the beach, he wouldn't be Jerry!
Jerry Lewis is Steve Prefontaine!
I still have some rides left on my ticket!
I feel so freeeeee!
I wish I were liquid metal, man.
Is he trying to run around the English Channel?
"I'm goin' to Las Vegas to drink myself to death."
"Now that you read her fortune, why don't you tell me mine? - It doesn't work on ferrets okay?!
If this is her date it will be the first thing I understand about the whole movie.
Ride the ... lamp.
How was the porn show, hon?
Suddenly, a giant girl snaps her tether and kills a coolie!
The Storage Locker of Dr. Caligari.
No one's ever attempted an interpretive dance of Mein Kampf before.
Ooooh and Joan Collins in checked into the boards.
She has a God-given talent ... for making tuna casserole.
Squiggy, Jackie O and Morrissey!
"ORTEGA!" You want to hit a movie?!
Uhn… nipples… too small. Too dark and upsetting!
The lesson: Have sex with a fortune telling gypsy if she demands it.
"Oh, I'll wash the dishes."
With my HAT!
so..how is this a tribute to madeleine albright?
Ride the giant citrus juicer!
He's a loud smoker...!
Would you like to buy a Hammond organ?
Ray Dennis Steckler MAY have had some issues with women...
Hello? Polonius? Are you there...?
and the director digs out an eye booger
ladies and gentleman Lesley Bore
Lesley Gore was a 50's female solo singer famous for 'It's My Party'*
she reads coasters then
Entertainers AND dancing girls? Is there a buffet, too?
♪ ♫ Take me out to the... ♪ ♫ Take me out to the...♪ ♫ Take me out to the...
Crow: ...ballgame, Mike.
She could use a couple of Supremes, or a Pip, or something.
Would you lie face down on a porcupine?
The organ has emphysema.
If it says Libby, Libby, Libby in the credits, credits, credits you wouldn't like it, like it, like it
Oh dear, he should NOT frolic.
(...as the "African" number starts)
A Tribute to Senator Jesse Helms!
Night traaaaaain...to Mundo Fiiiiineeeeee!
YOU FEELTHY PEEG!
Come on! Strip!
Take off your clothes!
Take off your hair!
It's a two-pronged fortune attack.
We take Visa, Mastercard and dead rats.
Our main character: the rollercoaster.
You'd tell me if my face was disintegrating, right?
When Servo kisses the "q-tip".
I'll put on your fishnets and dance with Heinz myself!
"With my wife there are two sides to every argument."
Wait, I thought she left.
"Hers and her mother's."
So did the mother stay when the wife left?
He makes my hair big.
"It hurts..." - To staple your eyebrows.
"Any chance a pelican will drop a turtle on his head?"
"Now where are they gonna' go in town for gay dancing and racist production numbers?"
"Look, I'm gonna' go fricassee that roadkill, okay?"
"Ava Gabor reads Alan Ginsberg."
"He needs something to knaw on."
"Eydie 'Budget' Gormé."
"We'll return to: In Cold Blood Goes To California!"
"What? I just puked up my Fancy Feast™ is all... Want part of the mouse head I have in my mouth?"
"He's turning into a brisket!"
"Ah, 12-day-old Scotch!"
I think this is a can-CAN'T.
He has a cab-forward face.
SEE THE DUMPY WOMAN WITH THE DR. SEUSS HAT ON!
You will be twirled by a thin gay Nazi...
Please, The Führer is out there tonight!
Come on world pull my finger!
emancipate yourself from mental slavery
That cop's report has to be signed by his mother.
"You know what I'm looking at right now? That EXIT sign."
"Oh, hi Reride."
"And now over to Harold to see what he thinks. And now. . . Harold."
They turned 'The Leech Woman' into a musical!
You're not funny!
You're not a woman!
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Glenn Close Experience!
Ah, a cross-dressing British police inspector stripper arrives.
The Budget Zombie!
Centrum Silver is what you need, come on ka-blink blonk blork!
~Bling blag anubee dof, doo daggy do, flingy wadda do do! Bab bab fakoob!~
"Here today, gone tomorrow." - Schick outta Shape, you know.
Now, wasn't there at one point a fortune teller who killed a doughy middle manager guy, or am I thinking of a different movie?
So Ray Dennis Steckler just filmed an open stage night and made it half his movie.
This whole movie has an oily t-zone.
She's got a pet tick.
Does that gal in the middle know she forgot her dress?
Crackle mourns the death of Pop.
Your face hurts us Jerry and we came together to tell you that.
Come on hair, let's go home!
She's a Q-Tip!
Nothing runs like a Bulgarian car.
And now over to Harold to see what he thinks and now, Harold.
Lets hear it for Hank and Larry!
Need a new atlas? Come to Atlas King where maps rule!
(Girls scream) We're fully dressed! What r u doing in here!? ~Tom
(After the "Shick out of Shape" song, as the music of the next song that comes on): Gillette! The best a man can get! ~Mike
TAKE A RIGHT! GOOD THANKS
"Schick out of shape"?!
You weel have a beeg house, *ptuh*, and dare is dee sweeming pool.
"The world is my college." He is taking it pass/fail.
Saves her washer-woman pay to go to strip shows.
"Put him in the nice room with all the other FEELTHY PEEGS!"
"She's a senior with sass!"
"She's singing into a Lady Remington!"
"Astrology." - Magazine about the Jetson's dog.
This is what I dreamed when I took Sudafed and NyQuil together once.
♫ Legalize it! ♫
Pay no attention to the woman behind the mole.
Paging Mr. Herman, Mr. Pee Wee Herman.
Sabrina, the Octogenarian witch!
He's gotta be gay, he's showing concern.
You and your stupid ovaries.
"That car goes from zero to fifty in about a minute."
"Here you are folks, the biggest bargain to hit the Midway. They'll thrill you, he'll kill you, you'll even ask for more. 20 beautiful girls..." -
SERVO:"Children of all ages will enjoy our exotic dancers!!"
"I'm so upset I might binge on a saltine"
"I see a killing spree in their future..."
"Waiter the revolving restaurants going to fast .. .. .. "
It's the Mobius strip of music-- it leads nowhere and comes from nowhere.
Astrology: a magazine about the Jetsons' dog.
That face is the result of slash-and-burn shaving.
Sound, a-are you getting this? Uh well, we'll move on, we gotta lot of other lines.
He doesn't know how many dishes I have stacked up, poor dope.
I see that FEEELTHY PEEEG futures are up.
-Why would you hire this guy? -Well I guess that's just the difference between me and you, Mike. -....That you hire deformed psychopaths and I don't? -Exactly.
my anaconda... don't want none unless you got buns hun
The storage lockers of Dr. Caligari.
First blade lifts~ The second one cuts~ You get your Schick outta Shape~!
"Help..." I need somebody! "Help..." Not just anybody! "Help!" You know I need someone!
I think what she's trying to say is, SLEEEEEEEEP!!
The 4 year olds who snuck in with fake IDs have to be feeling profoundly ripped off right about now
How bout a little catch, start running Casper
You couldn't buy enough booze to make me go for you, but could you try?
Please know you can talk to my ears anytime.
"Man, the Miss America Pageant got weird during the 60s."
"Sorry, I thought it'd be funny, now I'm just ashamed. I'll go..."
"Hey, Miles Davis! Turn around!"
"Grandma always gets drunk and sings at weddings."
"Madison, don't forget your puffer, and your knee brace, and your earplugs, and your eyedrops!"
"Neil Young is attacking!"
"Hi, everybody! I'm Dennis James!"
Somewhere a purse hits a floor.
No one has ever attempted an interpretive dance of Mein Kampf before.
Ah, good old fashioned nightmare fuel.
I got a message from your roommate. He says aptagpaptapgpaptapgfa.
Thrill as he looks for the men's room!
She's the hardest-working dental hygienest in showbiz!
Oh God, the centrifugal force! Mommy! MOMMY!
I take Visa, Mastercard, and dead rats.
Children of all ages will enjoy our exotic dancers!
Outtakes from the Manson Family Christmas!
...And he misses the ocean.
Those rebels! Why, there're going to park in a 90-minutes zone and at a slight angle!
I'm so upset, I'll binge on a saltine!
If you lived here, you'd be depressed by now.
Xanadu, stately home of Charles... Whitman.
Madison is Madison.
Ah, inspector Madison, thank God you're here!
Is this Confuse-a-Cat?
All this pageantry can't hide the fact, that there's no stripping.
Oh, they turned "Leech Woman" into a musical.
I didn't know Edison wrote and recorded his own folk songs.
Later in Rome.
I've been asked to explain the iron and steel joke.
You will be Nicolas Cage!
A dimension not of sight or sound, but crap.
You know, Noam Chomsky should pick better warm-up acts.
"We have girls, girls and girls!" And a hamster.
This is a hijack. We are taking this coaster to Cuba.
Please let us off! We've been on this since 9:30 this morning!
Oh dear, he should not frolic.
Cinematography by Zapruder.
It's a picture of Bob Dole's inner child.
Will work for SALVE..........
This is the show where the Hells Angels beat - up ah lot of people
He came over specifically to pee in the pool!
They're the Blue Angels of dancing; hair-trigger precision.
Yeah, one wrong move and they all crash.
"YOU FEEELTHY PIIIG!"
I think of a different kind of scat when I hear her sing.
my anaconda dont want none unless you got buns hon.
The camera pulls back as if to say "Sorry about this everyone, it's my fault. Sorry"
Never let your book club be back-up dancers.
"We interrupt this program to bring you a special announcement" This is Hermey the Misfit Elf!
Goofus and Gallant the movie.
Ross Perot's Comedia de'll Arte.
The Shroud of David Schwimmer.
Yes, yes, come into the voting booth, mu-ha-ha-ha!
did you guys just see that, or did I imagine it???
come hear Libby Quinn play the organ with her feet.
Ortega's taco shells are made from people!
hi everyone lets pitch in 'n get cracking here in Lousiana doing right, eh? Now then, hateful rich overbearing ugly guys hurt royaly everytime someone eats a radish, carrot, hoursderve, and never does dishes, eventually, Victor eats lunch over Peoria mit ein neuesberger Tod.
Well, let me take your last known photo...
"Whadoyouthinkwecameherefortoweet?" You talk funny you Feeelthy Peeeg!
Those people don't know you can GETCHA TICKETS HERE!!!
Ride the terrifying gazebo.
"He's not a natural pole dancer is he?"
"Mom's not on till 9..."
Guess the gender and win a free cocktail.
She's tapped into the rebellious spirit of data entry people everywhere.
Even the normally sharp Ortega seems confused.
I drink but I don't inhale.