813 - Jack Frost
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Most bears don't carry compacts.
“Silence! To your stations!”...We have stations?
So he lives in a sort of Christian/Pagan fun house, huh?
[Crow] I have terminal enchantment right now...
Oh, the world’s thrown into chaos - earthquakes, floods, but thats FINE. You KNIT your SOCK.
[Crow] Arsenic sucker, yep, that should do it...
HOW ARE YA?!
...and a month's rations are gone in an hour.
You just opened up a sleighful of jelly whoopass.. .
Fresh. Pain. Awaits. . .
Uh-oh. There's a ripple in the daughter market today.
Um, Ricola? Mueslix?
Is this a biopic of Holly Hobby?
Cymbal Fist! The new action hero!
Watch me break dance!
Blech, his performance is so wooden.
Mushroom guy's starting to piss me off.
Chewbacca? Where are you?
Hmmm I should have these caterpillars removed.
"Werewolf! Werewolf!" Were-bear, acutally.
"Look at yourself and ask--" Do I crap in the woods?
What IS that? Are space ships landing?
Hey, did someone lose some femurs over here?
He's got June Allyson hair!
Wow, the sun's really bookin'!
Here, pretend you're a koala bear and eat these eucalyptus leaves.
Thank you anonymous voice!
*ding* Oh, she's done!
Oh, yeah. It's raining cinematic payoff.
No, it's true! I heard it right from my own mouth!
I should have married him. I'm getting so old!
Delayed Reaction Syndrome
A young Mike Nelson (said about a young blond boy in the crowd)
Oh, Evil Sitz bath - soothe me!
Y'know, I'm from Wisconsin - I've seen plenty o' this. Can we move on?
Later, in tingly-wingly, pixie-wixie land...
Tonight, a very special Grizzly Adams...
Y'know, making her empty the river is just busy work...
They're desperately hoping he has a louse comb...
That's the biggest clove I've ever seen!
Back into Harpo's chest...
Why is the coat-rack on fire?
The story of a hundred-year-old couple who give birth to a giant infant...
Then, they became professional Fabergé Egg imitators.
It's the three horses of the apocalypse!
Yeah, the fourth one had to drop out because he had too many after school activities.
Tom Servo: "I think they're implying that marriage is a dizzying, mad, existential, ride to nowhere.
Mike: "or, that niceness is fun."
...And the dog ate her, the end.
A hockey game breaks out!
She sleeps day and night... She's really lazy.
The best reward there is... A half-rotted anchovy!
The new 1976 Chevy sleigh!
A bird... Let's eat it.
The wolves are just laughin' out loud. They got the B squad in to eat this guy.
He has the spine of a tube worm.
Forget the good deed - EAT HER!
Crow ate half of me and then buried me in the dirt!
Quick! Put the dog in a dress!
She's on her way back from her stick distributor.
Oh, I'm bear intolerant!
The minute you walked in the joint, buh-rump.
Okay, movie, we can wait as long as you can.
"Now, I'll give the orders!"
Because the crows have taught me a valuable lesson!
What's on the spit? You cook a mighty fine rabbit, pilgrim.
I enjoy watching people's mental illness.
Get out there and do something Russo-Finnish.
I forgot to read the fine runes!
I'm quite miffed at your attempt at murder!
Just hear those sleigh bells ringling, ring ching chingling... ring.
"Parson Brown: The Russian Tour."
Later, in Tingly-Wingly-Pixie-Wixie Land...
Ugh, yogurt is not a finger food.
Scott Hamilton's interpretation of "The Three Bears"
I am pretty hot, aren't I?
The private pain of Alfred E. Neuman
And the freelance shame squad is there!
I'm a domestic goddess!
Penny Marshall was an adorable child.
Oh no, no leg kicks please!
I can't look at them honey. They're horrible.
And I even made him Lunchables.
Come on guys, I got feelings.
I should've read the fine Runes!
You moron! You're a worthless piece of crap - like something I scrape off my shoe! Duhuh! Duh huh - here comes Jack Frost! You're an idiot!
Oh, am I that transparent?
Hey, I got more than you and I been neutered.
Oh, jeez. I stepped in my own scat.
Maybe I'm crazier than an outhouse rat...
You just got yourself a big sled load of whoop-ass, Frost!
Apparently, there's no Finnish word for 'subtle'.
You didn't tell us you were mythical!
*gasp* Jack Klugman!
If I had a tree, I'd keep it in the yard.
"Man, Peter must be denying EVERYBODY this morning!"
18:53 a great Star Trek reference, "And we shall drink Tranya. Ah ha ha ha."
"Come here, you little viper!"
'Somebody needs viping.'
I just hate it when the trees just come in.
I've heard that tree gang violence is increasing.
False alarm, it's only Bjork.
She's got that healthy clown glow.
Quick, there's a sale on babushkas at Bloomingdaleski's! Heh-heh!
Icky! Boys! Ew!
I think she is headed for the vodka well.
Mmmmm, liver on a stick!
The Gyuto Dwarves.
"Now..." Do I look like Simon Le Bon?
So that's a girl! I thought I was a girl!
"Little problem here guys, I'm a bear."
I've got to learn how to ride a tricycle in a hurry.
"Bob Keeshan is-- Mr. Natural."
"So, I guess instead of vacuuming this floor you Zamboni it."
"This just isn't right! I'm a cat! I should be laying out hairy pukes on a new carpet and ignoring my owners!"
"We now switch you live to Pig-Cam!"
"Robert Mapplethorpe's Strega Nona."
"Quick, give 'em Dutch Elm Disease!"
"She's eight hundred years young!"
"As the Easter Egg hunt goes into its 48th week..."
"I've got to go find a pic-a-nic basket!"
"Touch any part of this rock for more information."
It's.. It's.. It's...! A convention of Michael Palin imitators!
Yes, every culture's mythology features the young hero chasing a pig-sleigh.
Now haven't we talked about this a hundred times? About you taking your bear simulations to the extreme?
"My father calls me 'Nastinka'." It means "Stump-Waterer".
Yeah now he's haunted by other vegetables he didn't eat as a child.
"Grandmother has come to see us", And she is hot!
"It's colder than a bucket of penguin poop it's colder than a polar bear's butt; the dogs are sticking to the fire hydrants",
Hornets don't make honey I found out the hard way, oww. Did I have to eat all those campers?.. awgh.
"You are a queen!" In that you look like Freddy Mercury.
Alfalfa's greatest role!
I got to sneak down to convenience store to go to the bathroom.
I'm just going to get a paper
So the first plot point involves knitting socks…I think we’re in for quite a ride, guys!
Hi. Behold a pale horse.
A young Mike Nelson!
So, the premise of this movie is that everyone is just nuttier than all get out.
"I've had enough! I won't take it anymore! Now it's my--" TURN to get down in the basement...
Dog, pulling at dad's coat purposefully: "Get down in that basement old man!"
It's the Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Wedding!
Proving again that slightly unattractive people ARE evil!
On Wilbur! On Gordy! On Babe!
Jackie Chan IS: "Ivanushka!"
It's the Seven Dwaves: Filthy, Rotting, Lousy, Skanky, Septic, Scabby, and...Doc.
It's Mrs. Creosote!
Martina Navrtilova's childhood was not a happy one.
I'm from Wisconsin, I've seen plenty of this--can we move on?
Frodo gets drunk and screws with his neighbors.
Danny Bonaduce is: "Sleeping Beauty"
Regain your site and grow your leg back!
Don't wave grandma's funk over here, please.
**Beep** This is The Sun. You're call is very important to us ...
"Am I un-BEAR-able?!?"
I think he's missed the point of juggling...
This is a test of the Emergency Broadcast Chicken.
They're swimming in my chili, the little Creeps!!
"Don't come around here no more..."
The Human Schnauzer!
Well, got a great stick out of the deal.
If Disappearing Elf Hide and Seek were in the Olympics, Finland would be in great shape.
I thought Jerry Garcia was father-mushroom.
So what does a mushroom eat for hallucinations?
Hildegard von Bingham: Unplugged.
Peter must be walking around, denying EVERYBODY this morning!
Nashtinka, will you marry me?
Umm, I'm nine...
Oh what a beautiful makinazachzka,
Oh what a beautiful chazimanakziniza...
I've never sat on a shovel before - at least not the flat part.
She's so hideous when she sleeps.
A bucket full of ROGAINE
These names are all Russian for Alan Smithee.
Smilla's Sense of Crap.
Wow! It barely works!
Finally I have a boyfriend!
Fins celebrate the new year by hurling giant beefsticks into the air
Come to Knott's Berry Farm and ride the unstable house!
Munch and guzzle? What the hell?
'The gales of winter blow and sing.' And rip the skin off your face...
This guy spends a lot of time cutting out paper snowflakes huh?
'What kind of a good deed will I have to do?' ~~What kind of bear am Iiiiiieeee?~~
Is this true love or just a kidnapping?
She should just start over from gene one.
And a bag over the head completes the look.
So what are we looking for Waldo here or what?
Chernobyl's exploding again, lets go watch!
The KGB has her under surveillance!
Now it'll go into slow motion and you'll hear Barber's Adajio for Strings as he tears them apart.
I didn't know there were that many landmines left in Narnia.
this is a test of the emergency broadcast chicken
the story of a hundred year old couple who give birth to a giant baby
"Evaaan-ushka?" I got a new church hat
'M' is for the Many times you beat me. 'O' is for the Other times you beat me...
Killed your girlfriend...coffee?
The movie that dares to ask, will he find the dwarf?
All right pal, you're dead!
I need to learn to ride a tricycle in a hurry.
Help me Obe wan kanoboski.
Every time I meet a man, he's either gay or a bear.