815 - Agent for H.A.R.M.
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Once you taste my schnitzel, I'm sure you will understand.
You might want to back up. The power of this Honda 60 is pretty overwhelming.
Not the tiny sausage gun. Noooo!
The only logical response to this movie: Pure, unbridled, HATE.
Draw up the ribcage, stick out the butt and let the girdle do it's work.
Gotta dance! Gotta dance!
He's pirating free TV.
Mr. Peepers, P.I.
Hello, I'm here to set up the A.V. projectors.
I wonder if I can get my face painted here.
These people did not earn triangles but can try agin next year
"Ow, my pet hamster was in there!"
(answers phone) "Vodka vacuum."
He has already leered at me.
It might be easier to just shoot the guy!
You must have forgotten my primal sexual attractiveness.
"They would've used night vision." Yeah, they would.
Ill go get the cot.
"It's like bein' chased by your anthropology professor."
♪ ♭ "Volga Boatmen... Volga Boatmen..." ♭ ♪
"Y'get half off clams if you buy 'em before 9AM."
"My bedspread turns into an airplane and my panties are an anti-personnel device!"
"T.G.I.Friday's On The Beach!"
"But you know I have clog dancing tonight!"
"Give me that Hundred you owe me or I'll break your darn kneecaps!"
"Starring Has-Beens and Never-Was-es."
"Ah, it's the Eastern Europe part of Southern California."
Better be careful running with a gun! Wouldn't want to put a lead pill in the family jewels!
Its like being chased by your Anthropology professor!
So if I duck out of the way, the guns will kill each other.
My knees ratted on me?!?!?!?
She's just after his Social Security checks.
Is there a stud here...besides me?
There's drunks in my room? How'd they get in there?
My apologies for my odd performance.
-I am mighty elderly man!
-He's there was his Howard Sprague fan club meeting
Better go put on my funeral cardigan..
We're out of fumar. Now what do we do?
Well my cat's cradle got outta control so I pinned it to the wall.
When in the world, please visit a location near you.
"I hear you have been dying to meet me." Ooof that H.A.R.M.ed me....
Stop! Or your propeller will grind me to hamburger!
Oh no, it's 11:22!
PBR me ASAP.
The traditional running of the Clouseaus.
"LEVEL 5 SMUG ALERT !! "
"Should have taken the LITTLE RED CORVETTE."
"It is surprising how close we have become since she defected." - Actually, it's illegal.
I found this, her hotline to Malko. I didn't tell the audience because I didn't think they needed to know.
Why the tension hook? Oh! They have mail going out!
I miss the triangles already.
Now for a giant olive oil pilsner.
Shut up already! DAMN!
"Are you coming, or am I swimming alone?"
"Yes and yes."
Hey, I touched her boob you guys! I'm not a virgin anymore!
I'd like to spend the night inside your sugar walls.
"...apple pie and all that jazz." Hula hoops and dungarees.
Tired of embarrassing Sneg? Use Snegoff!
Five hours of staring at the window finally pays off.
Would you like a drink? Yes I would. Ensure or Boost?
Doctor, you realize I could have you sent back. I still have the receipt.
You left early this morning, what was that all about ?
"We were just saying goodbye" with our reproductive organs.
"There goes a man with a sexy niece."
"You've studied sporificalololology, haven't you?"
It's a mince-off.
"The judo range?"
"Damn you Shel Silverstein!"
Oh, I see you get the new Map Channel.
Case closed. And bar open.
First rule of women everywhere: First, do no H.A.R.M.
I didn't know section 8 made beach homes.
"I don't like shots. They're owie."
It might be one of my associates that calls you, because my body was just scissored in half.
Here's the wind up...and there's the smarm!
"Oh please! Come on, it's not called 'Old Scientist who sort of helped Agent for H.A.R.M.', okay?!
You still have another pocket, you're just differently pocketed...
I have a condition where I need sex every hour.
Then go practice your skeet kendo and bring your akito rifle, too.
Better get into my judo bikini!
Headquarters sent me—they want you to go somewhere.
Just because he's a pile of goo, doesn't mean he's dead!
You don't deserve an answer.
Wendy and Lisa are coming over later. Is that ok?
DAH DAH, DAH DAAAHHHHH!
She's packing her archery uniform.
Mike, do you have Kevorkian's number?
Day 3 of my cardigan: My funk overwhelms me.
These people did not earn triangles, but they can try again next year!
Heuristic Analogue Rental Meat!
I am mighty ELDERLY MAN!
A traitorous Frenchman; who would have thought?!
-- a DRINKING machine, if I can help it!
Can I borrow your ilver for the weekend?
Oh, movie, you made a mistake! That arrow was supposed to go in his face!
Level 5 Smug Alert!
The combination of the spaz chop and the pocket wound was just too much for the old man...
Well, we're out of fumar, now what?
Stop, or I'll Agent From HARM you!
He maintains an appliance -- DAH DAH, DAH DAAAHHHHH!
I think a plot point just spilled all over us, there...
If Pepe LePew was a human, he'd be this guy.
On the way home I wanna pick up some CREEEAAAMMMM!
I gotta swing by the leather panty place!
Watch me open the hell out of this door!
Maybe they should've taken the Little Red Corvette!
This time I'm really gonna see the Great Pumpkin!
So, Mr. Metal Cabinet... we meet again!
Y'sure there's no Jim Beam in here?
DAAHHH DAH, DAH DAHHHHH -- oh, no, maybe not.
But... I made myself clear that I wouldn't leave, and stuff!
He made his own gravy!
By this time in a James Bond movie there'd have been ten helicopter explosions, eight ski chases...
I had no idea surfing would involve so much nudity!
Mike, why are you choking the monkey?
Oh, by the way, we are going to be sexual partners, right?
Aikido Rifle ?
Maybe you botched the case, Adam.
Five hours of staring at the window finally pays off!
You lucky trunks. Get ready to gift wrap a beautiful package.
Well, I better check on my pot-stilled hooch.
Meet me at the karate rink later.
"Have you seen my raspberry beret?"
I wish i had the slightest idea about what i'm doing...
She's got fiber-optic HAIR.
MEIN HAMPSTER WAS IN THAT POCKET!!
I hate the outside. Screw you, outside!
Was that your big thumbed girlfriend?
I have abandonment issues with this movie already...
Say, the old top-knot seems to be in flames, old trench.
Pop, there's a man giving the squish-squash to the old wind tube!
Dear Medical Examiner: Put my friend in the best pail money can buy...
"Madam," I'm Adam.