819 - Invasion of the Neptune Men
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Space Chief is off having a couple of Sapporos with Jet Jaguar and Prince of Space.
I'm looking for dignity but there just isn't any!
The Japanese Army plays freeze tag!
You guys want to panic in a tightly packed sub-group later?
"Hold it. Something's happened."
And now a brief musical tribute to Alexander Nefski.
Well looks like the Russians blew another reactor.
Take us away, little shorts!
It's the Curly gun Whoop! Whoop! ??? Nyahh-ahhh!
"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha! Your costume is ridiculous!"
Is he going to the opera?
Paul is a dead man, miss him, miss him.
(dog runs by window) Ha-woof!
(Boy knocks other boy off his chair) Ow, my spine!
It sounds like The Little Rascals are going to be in this.
...and she was caught in a vat of jell-o® with these men!
You know what, guys? I think this is going to become The Magnificent Ambersons. In fact, it IS The Magnificent Ambersons! Right now! It is! You see it? The family riding in the sleigh. Ching-ching-ching-ching! "There it is! Amberson mansion, pride of the town! Hot and cold running water? Upstairs and down!" It's not working, guys! It's NOT The Magnificent Ambersons! I don't even LIKE The Magnificent Ambersons!
Stop zooming in! I have no emotions to show you!
Do any of these kids have names?
Well, they're all so distinct. I don't think they need names.
Do the Japanese practice just-in-time railroad repair?
"He's very young."
And he's Japanese.
"We felt we had reason..." to invade Manchuria.
They're invading Buckminster Fuller's geodesic dome city!
Scientists labor to find out what the hell is the deal with Japan...
Tom: "The MTV News thing is broken!"
Featuring Santa, Speed Racer, Shonen Knife, and Sailor Moon!
"That shiny object..." - I'd like to put it in my nest.
What times are it?
At least panic in your pre-designated sub groups!
Major Glenn and I are to be married!
But we're Japanese children! We can go anywhere we want at any time!
The aliens are terrified of themselves, panic, and leave immediately.
Due to the apocalypse, cram school will be delayed by 45 minutes.
"Walter Mondale goes CAMPING!"
It's a nauseating shorts detector!
My head is a Koosh Ball!
Hey it's Thomas the Tanks spaceship!
You're right guys! We're idiots, I guess! [squares up to lap, vomits]
Why did I buy a ride for my living room?
Neat, he cherried out his golf cart.
We must leave our pueblo.
RUN GET OUT OF HERE! You're in my pickled eel garden!
I FOUND MY RECORD!!!
Hi! Say we're looking for the Bullethead family reunion?
Crow - "Yeah, if you want some candy just pull it off the wall."
Crow - "So...the things are doing things."
Crow - "Ok guys, let's lay down that lead guitar track just one more time."
Mike - "What times are it?"
"Oh, man. There are 73 McDonald's™ lawsuits pending."
"So, they glued wings to a fuel filter."
"Sea Monkeys are disappointing."
"Now, who wants dessert?"
"Oh, look. It's Oliver Reed's liver encased in lucite."
If you lived here you'd be strafed by now.
The location scout for this movie must've been a manic-depressive.
Brought to you by the League of Psychotic Children. Surround yourself with annoying, shrill voiced children. Good day.
Hey! Who snagged all over the radar screen.
Tom: You know Space Chief should really try going up into space sometime.
Crow: Yeah, he's really more like Lower Atmosphere Chief.
Mike: Barely Off The Stupid Ground Chief.
Maybe the Japanese didn't really know they were making a film, per se. Maybe they thought they were working in a different medium, like fabric sculpture or something.
Japanese get so excited when you take them to an open field.
So they all carpooled to ground zero.
I never thought I'd say it, but suddenly Independence Day seems a richly nuanced movie.
My mittens! My mittens! Aw, the hell with it.
Clouds of toxic porn drift across the city.
It seems weird but this movie was based on a lyric poem called "Lotus WindFlower".
Our virtual pets have turned on us! They're attacking!
Why do we all live together with no adults?
This guy can't stop lathing can he?
Ow, ow! Somebody put wasabi in our jocks!
Is this filmed in a ghetto in Kingston, Jamaica?
I think they're trying to pass off a summer shower as an action sequence.
The location scout for this film must have been a manic-depressive.
Let's find the children! They'll know what to do!
They're playing an intense game of Red Rover Red Rover.
Hey guys, can we just... walk... to the lab. [panting] It's just that I have a heart murmur... and I'm... not supposed to run... everywhere. Oh boy.
Robbie the Robot in a depressing cameo.
It turned out that the aliens are a big bunch of pussies.
Intergalactic flaming jarts!
Maybe they shouldn't have all quit caffeine at the same time.
Giant, flying short grain rice!
Gamera! Get back in your kennel.
Meanwhile in a hideous little simulacrum of the United States.
No one showed up for my one man Il Duce show.
Now he spins around and strafes the kids.
Fine! We'll just invade somewhere else then.
They're being defeated by a wispy bachelor.
He must be the "Piggy" of the group.
A pre-fab Lutheran church.
I feel fresh!
They're trying to catch Mothra!
It sounds like the Little Rascals are gonna be in this picture.
How about "Ineffectual Chicken-Headed Bachelor"?
It's like the Neptunian Bay Of Pigs...
"I also invite you to the caning of five children!"
"Kill the pig! Drink his blood! Oh, wait. That's another story..."
"Get out of here! You're in my pickled eel garden!"
"Ow! The sawgrass! Oh, why did I wear my little shorts?!"
I suppose Rachel Carson’s gonna bitch about this now.
Incoming Crispix! ..... The perogies of death!
"I just can't get a news break. There's nothing happening." There's the dolphin killing festival.
It was made in America. What a piece of junk!
Thank God and his son Santa Claus!
Is that a baked potato?
Ok guys, let's lay down that lead guitar track one more time.
Got my porn bill
Meanwhile, Elliot Ness and his men and his cousins and friends and uh... some guys he met at the auto parts store all were on their way to ...
Well uh, not much traffic today, you'll have a clear shot to your stifling workplace... Later on driving to the bar to avoid your family should be nooo problem.
Man, they got hosed on the whole barrier deal... I hope they bought the service contract.
Space Chief is actually Racer-X, Speed's brother.
... Riot! Loot!! Burn down the Asian grocery stores!
Oh no no no, wait wait wait...
Hey! It's Thomas the Tank Spaceship!
Boy, that guy really photo-journalist'ed the hell outta that place.
Kurosawa, eat your heart out.
Someone put wasabi in our socks!
Enter, stage left even!
Chris Farley broke wind!
Dammit, I'm trying to make a sandwich here!
Let's go there and annoy them!
Shoot at Earth all you want, just get Bill Maher.
♪ Set me free why don't ya babe! ♫
There's a table saw on his head.
What the hell did I do that for?
And immediately Bob Hope is flown in to entertain the troops.
You know, I wish the running would never stop. I mean it! I simply can't get enough shots of these kids running! No, really! Literally, there is no limit to how much I wanna see it.
"Yesterday you laughed at us, today we're all heroes!" - Now, you're gonna take a BEATING!
It's the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Boy!
Oh I'm just so glad Japan honored all those post-war disarmament treaties.
It's a Japanese Clown-tree.
Bad time of month to mess with us.
Oooh, It's Mr. Bill Oooooooh Nooooooooo...
Mike I'm gonna grab a stepladder so you can jump up my butt!
Children of the Pot.
I'm down four hundred million yen.
Well, it's the end of the world as we know it, and actually I feel a little bit gassy, but otherwise I'm fine.
Barely Off The Stupid Ground Chief.
Oh MY spaceship, when we bought it it was OUR spaceship.
Get the cane...
Meanwhile in pre-revolutionary Havana...
You didn't say 'shields up PLEASE' captain
That is all..Oh wait, Ted wants me to call you a bunch of weiners
YAY They'll park 10 miles away and kill other people YAY
Thank you for sewing my hand to the tent
Space Cheif, he failed miserably, and tried to cover up his shame
Grandpa tried to program his VCR.
The catacombs of ancient Legoland.
I buried Paul.
Has anyone seen my record?
Why not 275?!
"Each power dome protects a small area." - Like mine.
This spaceship is powered by coal...
Jeez ... Ronnie! Chad! Bryce! Get back in here!
So the aliens come and strangle little kids...thank you Japan!
Thomas was very cross with Japan and felt he must resort to carpet-bombing.
Not the shrimp paste tanks!
Apparently those kids have Level 5 Security Clearance.
"That shiny object-" "I'd like to put it in my nest."
Is there any shame we can attach to it?
Mike, I'm going to grab a stepladder so you can jump off my butt!
Actually, I prefer Noh Theater.
Is this what the Japanese think WE do?
"The clock's running backwards!" "That means lunch won't be 'til yesterday!"
What times are it?
"You can call me a name that suites me fine." "How about Ineffectual Chicken-Headed Bachelor?!"
Oh, c'mon! I want to jump around while you fall down more!
Don't worry, kids, it's a promotion for Sushi Cereal!
This guy trained under Bruce Lee-bowitz!
Run! Work! Run faster! Work harder! Abandon healthy diets! Drink alot! Never speak to your children! DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAR!
Soldiers are popping up everywhere asking if the war is over
Roji panty complex?
If you lived here, you'd be strafed by now.
This movie is a Space Chef vehicle, isn't it?
Wait, my shorts locked up
HAHAHAHAHA! Your Costume is ridiculous!
He's Japan's only stupid guy...
Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp.
Take us away little shorts!
You know, not many movies can support a full minute of showing a radar screen. For example, this one can't at all.
Scientists from around the world try to find out just what the hell is up with Japan.
They took out the Hitler building!
Those are some really destructive sand crabs.
It's a break-dancing task chair.
Oh I know a song about stock footage: da dat da dat dat da, EAT IT MOVIE!!!!!