903 - Puma Man
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
You know, at some point, the world has got to stop letting idiots like this almost take it over.
"Ah, The Pewmay Man."
"Ah, a bunch of hairy guys in tongs sat down and wrote this screenplay."
Pleasence mobile, AWAY
Theology contained within this picture may not be wholly accurate. Consult your doctor before embarking on a theology program.
♫ Everybody was Az-tec-Figh-ting! ♫
"Each man is a god."
So if each man is a god, where does that leave the gods?
* Sudden punch to face *
Yes! The Aztec speaks for all of us!
"Now they will leave you alone!"
To be left alone, the goal of every great hero.
These are some old guys.
"Who is to prevent me?"
Any halfway smart guy with muscles and hair?
"Tell me the truth, Vadinho, are you one of them?" Me? No, I'm Jewish
Parachute slash bowtie
You're not going to pour molten gold down my throat, are ya?
When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip.
He won't get my Amontillado.
"Wanna go encircle a Mammoth later?"
Can I borrow a cup of BALD ?!
Is this a Glock I see before me?
"You are right, brother."
-- Orville or Wilbur?
Overdid it on the fancy feast . . .
"His fortress of baldatude."
Where's the keg?
No one knows who they were or what they were doing...
Barry Diller? HERE?!
Mr MacGregor's about to shoot them...
Where are the Faye Dunaway auditions?
I'm gonna tell Mr Weatherby...!
Call our 900 number and vote!
“Goodbye puma man”...Ah, well, is there anything I should tell the people about truth and beauty??..Naw, I don’t think so...Should we love each other?...Naw, don’t worry about it
"Don’t let yourself go Tony! Resist!”...Cry and fall? Is that what you said?
The slack-wearing superhero!
"You must concentrate, you will find the solution in your mind”...ah, I think we saw the limits of his mind just a few minutes ago
“Is this where you sleep?”...or did you kill a pig here? What is this!?
It’s too much mustache, he’s pushing the envelope
Don't ever mention Donald's jock again!
"Why do you want the mask?" In order to be SMOKIN'!!!
"You're right, brother." Orville or Wilbur?
Goldfinger's riding with Octopussy!
"Here he comes!" Light the candles!
Ironic. He looks like a waiter and he's dumb!
I'll plunger him senseless!
Pleasance Mobile away!
*guy thrown out window* We're downsizing, Steve!
He's basically an old baby.
If you need your toast buttered, I'm your man.
I am the supermodel of Christmas Past...
I think controlling your will might involve sloe gin and a Trans-Am.
...gonna kill you over here.
Servo: "Mike, this is called KISSING."
'Don't eat saliva?' I wouldn't even think of it.
This is a test of the audience's patience.
How am I ever gonna get back in? This is hopeless. I should just go home.
"U must take the great trip..." We're goin' 2 grandma's? "...dive into nothingness..." Watch MTV?
Snyder Drug! We're busting up prices!
AAAAAAAAAH! I'm falling at a sixty degree angle, and breaking all the laws of Physics!
Who am I kidding, I can't build a cat.
Donald Pleasance: "Your mind... and your will... BELONG TO ME"
Crow: "I have a receipt!"
"When the world is mine, I alone will decide whether it is to be war or peace, life or death!" Stuffing or potatoes!
"Meet me in the laboratory." And don't ever out-dress me again!
"High ranking Officers. What the hell are they doing here?" Book Club.
The Peeuma Man!
Um, there's no after-life! Sorry!
~j Burn an old man, singe all his flesh off! ~j
They used to have a Carney' running that ride but the salary got too much!
He's chewing the scenery!!
Yeah he's as cat like as Boog Powell!
Hey! a statue of Whoopi Goldberg.
Goldfinger got Mike Tyson!
~ Shimmy Shimmy Cocoa Pop Shimmy Shimmy Pop! ~
Uh...Who wants what on your pizza?
She has her roots blacked for some reason?
~j Do the Hustle j~
I think he officially "Bonked" them!
Do you have the Jaws of Life on you?
Can't get the Pina Colada Song out of my head!
So basically a mild rain could take out that roof!?!
I hate your crotch!
Did I say man? You're not a man. More like a box turtle.
We have cats! Oh, no. That's me.
I'll harm you!
Like an IDIOT, on the roof!!
I say, "Put it on" and you say, "Pee-ute it oon."
I wish Poaching-Protected-Species Man would show up and take care of this.
Yes! The Aztec speaks for all of us!
So pumas are suicidally-depressive mouth breathers?
Are you poor? Ew!
We now visit Brideshead...revisited.
The fat-free yogurt, it's not short on flavor!
Even when dead, his hair looks terrific.
We show you now the general vicinity of the heart.
Damn, blew a breaker. Someone must be using the toaster.
I ran outta quarters.
I'll use my powers of... LOOKING.
I am joining your carpool!
I'm thinking of having my chin smallened.
"You must take the great trip." We're goin' to Gramma's?
It's not possible. It's not possible! We're outta Triscuits?
Oh wait, that's my recipe for olive loaf.
Hey, telekinetic book dumping.
Well, someone seems to have gilded you, and that's what's causing your skin problems!
"Become part of the cosmos."
-Billions and billions of pumamen....
Thank you, Pasta Necklace!
But my will won't...!
I'm late for tap class!
For I am the super-model of Christmas Past...
Little doobage for later ...
Here's where the little elevator really pays off!
Don't let them net me, man!
Beat me, yes; but drape a net over me?
Carry on your tradition of flying clumsily, with your rear end in the air.
Peek a Boooo! PEEEEEEK a BOOOOOOOO!
Donald Pleasence - "Pew-ma Man"
It's an Aztec Family Christmas!
I'm back on catnip, man! You gotta help me!
Ah, it's one of those prefab English castles.
His Fortress of Balditude!
Anyway....toes on the line, look up a little.
Goldfinger got Mike Tyson!
She's driving the cameraman to school.
Puma Man can rip through pure contact paper!
He's playing with mommy's lipstick.
So, it's off to Hooters!
"Help me father!"
My homework is really hard!
Could I borrow a cup of BALD?
We're all agreed then. Carrot Top is the best comic.
Yes, much better than Yahoo Serious.
I am a wood sprite.
"Man, I hate it when Aztecs force themselves into your hotel room and make you try on belts."
(chuckles) "A steering column plunged through his chest. That's great."
"Now, you're go-ing, to boff in the air, ba da-da"
Yay, Happy Music!
He gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.
"I did not kill to find you." I only kill for fun.
Why do you have a bust of Ron Ely in your home.
A sweater that says "I've read the works of Alan Alda".
Man, there's a lot of reindeer crap up here.
"with me? What could be dangerous?" -Wearing loose-fitting clothing around a power take-off could be dangerous.
Where's the keg?
(crying)... and then they snagged on me, and called me Prince Valiant, and said I had a stupid fakey religion
"You know how many mansions there are in England!?!" Probably like a million!
"Everything is possible for the mind." Well most minds.
"But I'll die!" "Put the belt on!" and THEN die!
That's where I almost lost my virginity, over there.
I'm still not sensing danger
Donald's only use for the word "comb". You just heard it.
I see the same thing only it's really red!
Copyright 1462? What is that?
Hot bathysphere action!
"You're just a small, insignificant human being!" - That's hooman being! Oh, no, that's it...
My mustache makes me fall sideways!
Hey where's your phone? I wanna check my Aztecmessages.
I'm a representative of Aztechnologies.
It's scoliosis mann
Christmas ornaments of the Gods!
He didn't ask for your yearbook quote.
Say hello to the nice people, Puma Man.
I will bunch up your package so it is very uncomfortable!
Man, with those boots she has to use high altitude baking directions.
The gods are dragging him by the elastic in his BVDs.
I hate your crotch!
"So dinosaurs became extinct because they no longer knew how to love each other. Is that correct?"
In a wrong kind of way, sure!
What kind of party clown are you? I'm not paying for this!
A Zubaz top with a lab coat and a veil, and it works!
We've got to hire a brunette.
Let the cookie exchange begin!
Im in the fire truck for USA Up All Night!
"I came to give you this!"...Whoa! Hey!
Die Ant, Diie!
There is something wrong with this mirror.......
All right! Disco fighting!
When/You want/The flavor of bacon/In a dip.
♫ ♪ "Now... ♫ ♪ they're going... ♫ ♪ to boff in the air!" ♫ ♪
"I'm sensing danger! Oh, that's mildew."
♩ ♫ "Believe it or not/This movie's still on/It should've ended two hours ago..." ♫ ♩
"Leggo' my death!"
"Please get off. I'm feeling funny down there."
"They immediately slap Molly Hatchet in the tape deck."
"I'll go mess up, and you save me!"
"Would you stop holding me by my nipples?!"
"Thank Goodness they made their house out of peanut brittle."
"Apparently, the house capsized and he and Shelley Winters have to climb up through the basement."
"I'm fine. I used up a perfectly good pants wetting for that!"
"Who is to prevent me?"
"A halfway-smart guy with muscles and hair?"
"Are you getting serious?"
Ah, Thepyu Mayman.
LOOK- You call it corn, I call it maze.... we'll never get along.
"Come any way you like--but come." - Now that's gotta be a proposition!
All aboard !
Hey wait I don't want to sit next to Pinochet
He's totally pounding Eddie Rabbitt
To be left alone - the goal of every great hero.
Oh Crap, it's that Aztec guy
"I speak to all humanity" Can you hear me in the back?
*BANG BANG BANG* ... I sense danger
Eat this baguette, eat it
Do you have a small, whiney warehouse for me?
Do the Hustle!
At all times he has the look of a man who's been hit with a fish.
Oh, he gave him the Captain Dork costume by mistake.
Are the heads eating potato chips?
"You cannot escape me Pjuma man!" Oh is that right "Djonald"!?
"My name is Vadinho." I'm an onion
♫ Help me Vadinho! Help help me Vadinho! ♫
"Leave all material things behind." All my fabric?
And he immediately uses his powers for peeping.
The first thing he does is poop on my car.
I hope to be as bald as you are someday, Sir.
I kill for fun.
The party tray is coming from Subway.
I sure hope we don't see this guy going into heat at some point.
This is where Cher stores her discarded ribs.
And there is more salt in ham than in turkey.
"It's a curse." It says the F-word.
Tonight, on a very special Touched by a Pumaman.
He has the power to rear project major cites!
I think controlling her will might involve Sloe Gin and a Trans Am
Are they all trying to make weight?
Bending metal doors? No problem. Subduing stocky senior citizens? That's another story.
"Everyone who goes there doesn't talk!" - So no one who doesn't go there doesn't NOT talk?
"This is proof of an outer space presence in our history!" - She said that about waffles.
Soundtrack by my little brother's Casio!
Sam Elliott is Ted Turner in "The Gregory Peck Story!"
Hey...a see-through hat! ;)
Prepare the effeminate-mobile.
I was supposed to bring an appetizer wasn't I...
... Pumas aren't really known for their flying.
Dick's Red Owl...selection and savings.
The wall didn't bend, ignore that.
Eating less and less an steadily loosing weight…
"Go!" - N-Not that kind of go!
"Dive into the nothingness." - Watch MTV?
Wool over his eyes man! Easily bamboozled man! Three steps behind man!
"I get this way when I sense some sort of danger." Or some sort of breasts.
Man, with those boots she has to use high-altitude baking directions.
And we hear the dim cry of an anal probe!
Pumaman: Liberace with Dockers!
Movie: The Pumaman. Tom: Does that sound right to you? Movie: The Pumaman Tom: I think that's what I'm trying to say. Movie: The Pumaman Tom: Now it just sounds funny.
The world's most persistent belt salesman
Ah.... ....There's something wrong with this mirror
Oh, great. You know what? I've got it. Don't worry yourself.
Tiny halls, for the narrow-shouldered among us.
Hit me with your best slapshot.
This has been a test of the audience's patience.
My name is Pleasence, and I am funky!
"Tony!" It's Gino! I've been lookin' for ya, ya mook!
This ALWAYS happens! People throw me out the window, tell me I'm Puma Man, then leave!
Now he takes out a personal ad: Saw you in museum, you took bone, I chased you.
Yeah, this is why 7-11s allow no more than three Aztecs at one time.
You you you... non-British guy!
AAAGGGGGHHHHH... Hey look! Big Ben... AAAARRRGGHHHH!
"We'll make slaves of men with this mask." And we'll rule FISH too!
Ah, who am I kidding? I can't build a cat.
These walnuts are good!
YAYY!! HAPPY MUSIC!!
I don't have to listen to that!!
I'm confused... Now I'm happy!
"I'm a wood sprite." LOL
Are you a kind of onion?
Pu-ma Man, when will he find love?
MY MUSTACHE MAKES ME FALL SIDEWAYS!
Shake it! Drivin Donald Pleasence around, SHAKE IT!
Was that "If I Were a Rich Man" on harpsichord?
Pu...Ma Man... He flies like a moron.
When you want the flavor of bacon in a dip
Are pumas also known for their whining?
Wanna go encircle a mammoth later?
I hate it when Aztecs force themselves into your room and make you try on belts.
Thank you pasta necklace.
"I say put it on." and you say 'pyut it oon'
I kiss my frog in your honor
a post-it note can sense danger better then this guy!
Constantly Out-of-his-league Man!!
The Dutch are mean!
Help! I'm falling at a 60 degree angle breaking all the laws of physics!
Do you guys like North Korea? I sure don't.
Look, he's refenestrating!
Now where am I going to get another personal firetruck?
HAHAHA! No, you look great!