904 - Werewolf
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"I don't want to sound skeptical."
But this is such crap.
I wish my face could be tighter!
Excuse me, where is your headphone jack?
What, is he stalking it because it's the weakest of all gas stations?
"That's not a scratch, it's a deep cut." Speaking of deep cuts, does this scene need to be in the movie?
Roah. Rhat ras rantastic.
"Look, Noel, I'm not superstitious." I'm stupid.
"You make sure none of the Indian workers see this." Like, uh, Ragipur or Amir.
She can't help but be impressed with the way I handled that situation.
Live from New York, it's Saturday Night!
Get out before my dog tells me to shoot the president!!
Eh heh heh, HELLOOOO, DOLLY! THIS IS LOUIS....DOLLY!
I've been a-*UAGH*-MINER, for a-*augh*-heart of-*gah*-gol.....gold....
Ehhh, I'm gonna pull the plug, just for the hell of it!
Daylight on the inside, nighttime outdoors.
And back to waning daylight outside. Okay.
The cheezeball's got no freakin' class!
There goes another one! Man, the pool cue budget in this movie must be enormous.
PBR me ASADie. From the land of sky blue MURDER
This is the MIR of archaeological digs.
In fact, why don't you just sit out the rest of the movie?
Call an ambulance! And make sure you don't move his neck!
- Reggie Mantle, no!
- But Veronica...!
How does the director even conceive the framing of this shot? It's just incredible!
If it's Martin shoot to kill! Then, I can be in Spawn!
Now this *may* cause underwear stains...
Suddenly, I miss my dad.
Mike, you didn't really go out with a guy named Steve who died?
Man, I've got so many threatening letters to write tonight!
Yeah, yeah, but how's the pool game going?
"I'm not holding back anything!"
Certainly not talent.
And the litter on the highway! It's just everything!
I'm still in this movie, you know. You may not think I am but I am!
I heard it in a love song. Gotta go.
Cruise ship taking off. ...there's another one.
"Hey! I got something here!"
Are they jumping rope?
Weasels ripped my flesh again!!
JD Salinger writes more than this guy.
Woah, they suddenly turned the air conditioning on!
There's that table saw again!
This dinosaur was found with a head sticking out of its butt.
Heh, he became a bat? A bug? What IS that?
Later, in the dead of blue filter night...
Steven Tyler's skull!!
Hey, I can't see home plate!
Honey, I is being home.
The Uzbekistani Tracy and Hepburn...
Okay, movie, she's a werewolf. We really gotta call time on this one.
Well, folks, should I follow him? What do you think?
Sam got himself some seamless gutters. Nice.
Wait! It's not fair! He's still alive!
Oh, no! He's running through the streets, doing things!
I guess our hero will go back to his WRITING now.
The director got to borrow his cousin's dolly for the week.
As a recuperating werewolf, I'm very happy with my Craftmatic adjustable bed.
I've gone back to my darker, shorter hair, now.
I wonder what language they'll use. Austrian, Portugese, Bulgarian, Catalan...?
Wur you liff is increhebul.
'Why not..I skewed everything up' "skewed?"
“You know, if you look at it a certain way, I actually won that fight.”
"Uh, who's story is this Carol?"
GO HOME, JOE! No... All the way!
That was the sound of the Director giving up and leaving.
Come on. Dead people know what's going to happen here.
She has Dilbert's Boss 'Horns'
Even in death he's sucking his gut in.
I can't believe people call me a Psycho. I'm gonna' take those people's heads and carve them into ashtrays!
Is that a 1" x 6"? Oh, it's her 'acting'.
He's got movements like Anthony Kiedis. (ouch...sorry Anthony)
"So it all comes to this?" 'The things that it comes too????'
Buttons are neat.
Meanwhile, Slash is still trying in vain to sink a ball.
Made it Ma! Top of the Farmer's Bank.
Well your voice is going to change inexplicably every 7 years.
People say 'rack' to me a lot. Why?!?
Hey, she was solids...she was!
♫ Hey mighty brontosaurus, don't you have a lesson for us? ♫
The jacket makes him look like a were-waiter.
She learned english from the Wild and Crazy Guys.
The cheeseball's got no friggin class.
Yeah I'll take a walk...over to Curt Douglas's house.
~where the streets have no name~
Directed by Jackie Chan!
Not things again!!!
The danger of hair oil graphically portrayed!
'You callin' me a psychopath?!?' "I'll kill your whole family if you call me that again!"
Boom! Another hair style!
I stand corrected - she didn't turn into a werewolf; she merely joined the cast of Cats...
"Something horrible has happened,,,"
- I passed m'tapeworm!
- So, what else can I expect?
- Well, you're voice is gonna change inexplicably every seven years or so...
Aw, honey, what's the matter? Talk to Nana..,
He's growing guitar picks!
...I enjoyed your letter to the Philippians!
I barely know what a hat is...
So, ya couldn't be a real cop, eh?
It's the actual skeleton of a Pushmee-Pullyoo...
Let me just chill my hands, and I'll be right there...!
Nonononono, I don't think this case calls for Monoxodil...
Oh, yeah? Well, what about your roots?
Well, I'm not supposed to listen to people who aren't in the movie...
Was he in the middle of his perm?
Can I be in the movie again?!
The Man With the Yellow Hat arrives to calm things down...
"I'm very concerned about your wallaby."
Would ya' mind eating this jar of meat tenderizer before I kill you?
He's a were-worm.
There's a busniess up there simply called "R."
He's a werecrow! A WERECROW!
Ugh, don't say essence; yuck, pitooie!
It's bad when the action in your movie is upstaged by a mural.
(Shot the skeleton which has ears for some reason that is never explained) We've come to the conclusion, Dem' Bones, Dem' Bones, Dem' Dry Bones, sir.
(A shot of a fan that lasts to long) The movie's biggest fan.
"I don't wanna sound sceptical," this is complete crap!
Now that I'm driving, those gazelles don't stand a chance!
I'm gonna follow the hell out of him.
Sorry, I chewed your shoe!
I'm not lycanthropizing!
Would he just transform already?! Jeez!
Boom! Another hairstyle!
Uh-oh, the natives are closing in!
The most stubborn full moon in the history of the world.
Audience, what's YOUR diagnosis?
This is gonna be a fun dig.
His hair is completely different.
"I like saying no to you, could you ask me again?"
I am the very model of a modern manmade werewolf!
Don't let me interupt your porn.
Did those oil barrels just leap out in front of him?
An American Werewolf in traffic
This is absolutely fascinating. (The stinger... which I think qualifies as a riff as it points out the lameness of the delivery.
This is a song about how loose their slots are.
I have bad news. We have to remove your continent.
Buttons are neat!
Ziggy played guitar!!
I look down your dress for a living.
I'm going to get all sexy now!
"Paul, please don't hurt me!"
Think of my family in Latvia!
Wait! Now, he's got gray hair!
Your dental x rays are back. It's not good.
The full moon doggedly refuses to wane.
He was right. The walk is making me rethink my life!
I'm going to set up a charitable fund for men who paw women. Yes, yes.
Well, I'm glad we had that moment.
I must have panicked and thought I was a doctor.
Can I be in the movie again?
Well, quite a bit of red Tempera paint anyway.
Mmmm...the sugar mines.
I knew it had Tony Zarindast STINK all over it.
"Will you excuse me for a minute. I see someone..." -- Who's not a serial killer.
I'm sorry I broke your Hanson tape.
This is a production of 'Roadhouse in the Park'
Brooks and Dunn finally have it out
Brought to you by the ape in the moon.
And now, back to Kung Fu.
Is there a duck in the room?
"Paul, you is a ware-welf"
"Paul thinks he's turning into a whurr-wulf"
During the course of the fight they stomped all over the Ark of the Covenant.
Well, they cast me. I guess they want me to do something.
If you look at it a certain way, I actually won that fight.
This is absolutely fascinating.
This is good because it's been a couple of minutes since a woman was brutalized
I'm gonna follow the HELL outta him
Same Gas Station
Yeah, I'll take a walk. Over to Kirk Douglas's House!!!!!!
Dictator for life: Santa Claus.
He's almost as hairy as Robin Williams.
"Legends have to start somewhere," Like the Keebler Elves!
"I don't want to sound crazy," I've replaced my toes with grapes.
Whoopi Goldberg told me you smell like apples.
It's a gorilla with a dog mask!
The man with the yellow hat arrives on the scene.
Ya' know, he'd get a lot more done if he stopped celebrating after every small victory.
We have the worst tree farm ever.
An ancient beer can! Oh...
Ludwig's 5th Syphony E Minor on Werewolf.
She's got Dilbert boss horns.
His condition has gone to bad, bad, bad bad bad.
They're estabilashing the HELL outta this building!
So basically, any animal?
That jacket makes him look like a werewaiter.
The Color of Horny.
♪ ♬ You get a lot of dirt with werewolves. You get a lot of clean with Tide. ♪ ♬
Send pants at once.
Wow, the future conditional pluperfect subjunctive.
Not Bob Vila! NOOO! What we're doin', here Bob, is gettin' killed by a werewolf!"
There. It's some litter I picked up off the freeway. Does that make you feel better?
Infants are such babies.
He's gonna have to wear one of those cones around his neck now.
Did he seem, you know, uh, dead to you?
I can't believe people call me a psycho. I'm gonna take those people's heads and carve them into ashtrays.
He has to rest up for his match with Minnesota Fats tomorrow.
Made it ma! Top of the Farmer's Bank!
She needs jacket-wearing lessons.
"We can always use another pretty face around here." ...Another?
"Welcome to Flagstaff." Welcome to my flagstaff, if you know what I mean.
"I'll drink to that." But I'll drink to lint though, so it's nothing special.
"Yeah, I'll take a walk." Over to Kirk Douglas' house! *through clenched teeth*
"It's the Navaho version of a --" poodle.
"It's also known as a shapeshifter." Potsticker, clamdigger, that sort of thing.
Boy, I'd hate to see his sink trap.
I see some very stupid children being born as a result of these two meeting.
What are you still doing in the movie?
Oh, I ate too much! I am a full moon!
Yes, I am a doctor. I'll just be being a doctor in here, then. … Doctor.
Go home, Joe!
People generally don't like me.
Gee, a pig-drunk, passed out security guard. Who's surprised?
It turns there are small roles AND small actors.
"You and Noel is in it for fame and fortune!?" Yes we IS.
do you have any spare roles that i could do?
"listen..." that'sabsolutelyfascinating. "what was that?" well i have small dogs in my hair, sorry. "prob'ly a car on the road." yeah, it's uh, one of those cars that sounds like a wolf, okay?
Elgin is my black friend.
Hey Look! A ancient beer can!
This is very moving... in that I want to move out of the theater immediately!
Well, I'm not supposed to listen to people who AREN'T in the movie, but...
Look, he's Winnie the Pooh
You is a jerk!
*Reference to Enigma's Return to Innocence* 14:23
The blood came out like a Ralph Steadman drawing.
Basquiat is in danger!
Fast Eddie Felson's sex change was a big success!
"Know what I really want to do?" Is baby be friends with you. (Bob Dylan reference, woo!)
Hey, it's Neil Young!
The cheese ball's got no friggin class!
Featuring the Bulgarian Womens Choir rendition of Jingle Bells
Its 2 for 1 Brainhammers tonight Martha!
Deniro. Snipes. The Fan.
The antidote to being a werewolf just might be Immodium AD.
Remember Cindy, nothing gets in. No information actually reaches your brain. Good!
Never throw his fetch ball against the picture window.
Is that a 1x6? Oh, that is her acting.
"Not Bob Vila, no!"
"Now what we're doing here, Bob, is getting killed by a werewolf."
GOOD BYE JOE
Paul, is you at this place?
I'm Martin Sheen's brother, does that help?
You know, he'd get a lot more done if he stopped reveling after every small victory.
"Thanks for killing me and all our people! Enjoy our land!"
"This is good, because it's been a couple of minutes since a woman was brutalized."
"Well, I better take my pants off and do some typing."
"So they mike tires and feet in this movie, but not people!"
"Well, I've got a squirrel in the oven if you're hungry!"
"Travis Bickle moved out to the suburbs, huh?"
♬ ♪ "O-Cedar makes your life easier..." ♪ ♬
"They're excavating a Tiramisu!"
"We found another stratum of ladyfingers!"
Wow. The future conditional pluperfect subjunctive.
Surprise ending conceived and written by a tubeworm.
"Do you realize if this was a lycanthrope..." I'd have to look the word up.
Featuring the Bulgarian Women's Choir rendition of "Jingle Bells"
No, I vas IN Hustler.
Beets? That's horrible!
Flagstaff, I can't believe I'm still in Flagstaff.
Well, they cast me, I guess they want me to do something.
"When you look at the structure of the leg, you can see..." -That I am stalling.
Do they wrap these in Titanium? C'mon!
his condition has gone to bad bad bad bad bad bad.
It's Crow T Werewolf!
Loud mumbling breaks out.
The very model of a modern man-made werewolf.
All righty then. A complete desanguination for you?
ROCK'EM SOCK'EM ARCHAEOLOGIST!
I couldn't help but notice you weren't having sex with ME.
"Hey everyone free samples of ME"
Nope, forget it, you ruined the mood. And what a mood it was.
C'mon! DEAD people know what's gonna happen here!
Um, this is God: I've reviewed it with the committee. and no--we won't save you.
It's not a good sign when the action in your movie is upstaged by a mural.
Flagstaff: Industry! Family! Foreign people talking in attics!
Look! An ancient beer can! Oh.....
He's become a were-amish guy.
Did he just honk?
Hey, did I have too much Mescal or does anyone else see those Indians in the sky over there?
People say "rack" to me a lot
...heard it in a love song. Gotta go.
I have a feeling this guy makes A LOT of exceptions
"I don't know what to believe anymore." Try believing in ESL for a while.
"Grandma!" "Oh honey what's the matter talk to Nana."
Come on sweep that skeleton off the table and give in to the passion.
Fountain o' hair.
They hired the Frito-Bandito.
Did he leave right in the middle of his perm? Chia-Estevez. What are you still doing in this movie? He looks like a puffed up ruffed grouse.
Sorry I was just taking a lavender bath.
Sinead O'Connor flees Prince's house.
That was the sound of the director giving up and leaving.
She learned english from one wild and crazy guy.
We have the worst tree farm ever.
"Here's the windup.....and the pitch."
"No. WEREwolf. 'Were'. Say it."
I barely know what a hat is.
Rejected for the Supreme Court, Robert Bork struggles to make ends meet...
THis guy's on his 4th hairdo since the movie's started!
I see some really stupid children being born as a result of these two meeting.
Quick! Apply intravenous Nair!
Well, I better get back to my Bruce Jenner shift.
Bad bad bad? Or just bad bad bad bad bad?
They're doing a production of "Roadhouse in the Park."
Hey, if she's a wolf she'll have three rows of breasts!
"I'm vury concerned about your wull being." - His wallaby? Yeah, my wallaby means a lot to me.
"Because what?!" - Okay, I'll tell you. Because lullfasulfsemlasufla...
"You calling me a psychopath?" I'LL KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IF YOU CALL ME THAT AGAIN!
Does this really warrant the tender music?
It's a guy with a Wolf hand puppet!
Poor girl; the last guy she dated turned out to be the Loch Ness monster.
Butterfly kisses gone horribly wrong!
Look at those high gas prices-- what, are they in Port au Prince?
I'm gonna follow the hell out of him...
Leland Sklar, survivalist.
He's almost as hairy as Robin Williams.
It's Eddie Vedder!
I've replaced my toes with grapes!
It's economical not to have a story line because then you can just film people saying things.
When confronted by a werewolf it's important to immediately leave your car and run out in the open.
So whatever they did in bed blew him out of his room and half way across town.
Dictator for life, Santa.
It's a gorilla with a dog mask on.
I'm afraid he has opened to many casinos.
No shoes, he was killed for his Nikes.
The movie's biggest fan.
I don't know, you had him last!
Ah yes. The Concerto in A Minor for Cello and Werewolf.
Oh great, A random citizen that can kick A werewolve's ass.
The least successful werewolf of all time.
So they put suspected werewolves in the neonatal unit?
She's got a neck like a maasai warrior
"theres just so much litter on the highway"
OK, stop. Everyone go up a shirt size.
Yeah, let's go with orange Jheri curls.
We'll be transferring you to the Ho-Chunk Hospital for Yetiglanchis.
Skin walker: Texas skin ranger.
Man, they're establishing the hell out of this building.
"At the risk of sounding nuts"... I've replaced my toes with grapes.
"Believe me, I do this for a living." You console European losers?
did ya bring yer anti-government propaganda?
why don't you head on down to the crawl space,I'll be right there to kill ya
he's dreaming of slimy cat puppets
Thanks for turning off the bad soundtrack
I AHM DA GREATEST!
say mike, you didn't really go out with a guy named Steve who died, did ya ?
Um, I have bad news, we have to remove your continent.
Those oil barrels just leap out in front of him?
This is a strange remake of "Jane Eyre".
"Like sleeping like a coyote, nose to anus." What, it's fun!
We've come to the conclusion: "Dem bones, dem dry bones", sir.
Well, so far the star power consists of Charlie Sheen's uncle.
Frederic Remington's Guernica
"Yeah. I'll take a walk." Over to Kirk Douglas' house!
Yup. Bikers love harpsichord music!
An American werewolf in traffic
Hey look! An ancient beer can...oh...
I have small dogs living in my hair.
Paul! You is a Wurwelf!
Oh no, not things!
Thats it..I'm getting the clown hammer
Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Archaeologists!
"What is the subject matter?" You're right subject doesn't matter.
My mistake, clearly you're not a psycho.
Someone's helping her scream