906 - The Space Children
|Short - Century 21 Calling:|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
This is all that's left of St. Matthew's original screenplay.
Oppenheimer took my stapler.
So the guy from North by Northwest married Ruth Bader Ginsberg.
Aw, I enjoy our warm chats about civil defense, honey
[Crow] Mike, I want you to call me "Farciot Edquart” from now on...
They're having lunch with Smaug.
Ow! Right on my flask!
You can call me Ray!
"Well this is it, honey!" The end of all hope and joy!
They're eating Marge Simpson hair!
"Remember when sex wasnt a job?"
"Heartbroken, his Jim Beam distributor moves on"
Man, what got into us? I'd ground us.
This Bud's for you, ladies.
The blob's still in the house! That's the pot roast for tonight!
I just watched Gilligan's Island.
Uh, kids? It's laying eggs in my chest. Is that normal?
I can't believe they left without their spaz!
Meet me at the corner of Van and Cleave.
That kid was picked last to be a Space Child.
And Jackie Coogan ruled them all.
Wow. They just dumped a whole pallet-load of actors on us.
Jabba the Hutt really let himself go!
So operators AREN'T standing by.
the scientists go to lay their eggs in the sand
Would you mind having some sort of expression while I'm talking to you? It would make me feel better.
Ultimately, I think you're a spaz, Earl.
A gibbon making flan.
"Now we launch my godchild." - She's FIVE!
We brought you a nondescript "B" actor just like you asked, oh powerful jelly-brain!
Stop trying to form a bond with us! We had you, isn't that enough?
Here... You tell Mom I'm pregnant!
"Is that your boy?"
- Without getting into it, I'll say 'Yes', for now...
Grendel? You home...?
Let me get over by a sharper rock...
I'm your Ethel Mertz...
Thank you, Maytag Repairman!
The only bathroom at the fair is up there...
Quick! Everybody grab jobs in the private sector!
Oh, and recess is over, too!
The children are nestled all snug in their double wide.
The director had a very strange idea that Jackie Coogan was hot!
DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH YOUR MOTHER!
YEA! You sure he's dead now? YEA!
"Did Leni Riefenstahl direct this?"
Okay...communism is better.
I don't agree, sir. I think it's more like dew on morning petals.
This blob is mine! Kids gave this blob to me!
Tornado Magnet trailer park welcomes you.
Celebrating Pride Week at the fair. I'm Gay!!! I feel good about me!!!
Hang up your slippers, there's a new dad in town.
Sessions presents: Bald Gold!
It's a naturally occurring comedy club!
I think I just got the bends from that analogy.
Let's head on over to the steak and martini pavilion.
"Ever been invited out for an evening..."
"...and had to turn it down because you're expecting an extra special call?"
"Please, don't be upset." That's a good idea. Okay!
I'm too old for this group really.
"I'm getting out of here!" I have an appointment with my broker.
"I can't move!" "You can now." Now I just don't want to.
Go take a nap,Toots - we'll handle this.
Ug, it's Uncle Fester in shorts!! yuck!
uh ... I'd go but I'm high.
So "don't tell baldy" that's the game
"I don't know" - I'm crashing from a Pop Tart high
The Edward Teller home security system!
"Earth vs. Nougat."
"Well, it's 1963. Let's get in line for Beanie Babies™."
"Okay, but you have to feed him and walk him. Having a blob is a big responsibility!"
"Ah, that Rockford throws a great dinner party!"
"Hey, Kids, enjoy my Silly Putty™ qualities. I can lift images off the funny papers for you!"
"Moondoggie's really gone to seed."
"This is a perfect place to make our delicious Roquefort Cheese!"
♪ ♬ "But you can't escape Death..." ♬ ♪
"Oh, c'mon! You're gay and you know it!"
"Yeah, I'm drivin' the Monorail drunk. So what? [hic!]"
I'm trying to solve a crisis and all you do is smoke and criticize.
Edie. Don't start the New Bohemians.
Oppenheimer took my stapler!
"Here, you tell mom I'm pregnant."
And the editor comes to the writer's rescue.
"Edie! Edie!" I'm going to get my bikini area waxed.
It's a cat making crank calls.
Did Leni Riefenstahl direct this?
Isn't it great there's only white people here?
The phones! They're coming!
It's a vicious gang of Air France stewardesses!
"Or, from a public telephone a couple hundred miles away...." Tell your mistress you can't get away from your wife.
Just mow down the old people, that's fine kids.
Let's start Microsoft here!
(Jackie Coogan unconscious.) Put a light bulb under his tongue!
"...and you're seeing it all." At the Annie Sprinkle show.
Yeah, how do you like it when the lawn piddles on YOU?
Hello Grandma! Where's my MONEY?
And sometimes, when youre bald, random thoughts just bombard your skull and worm their way in.
♫Someday you will ache like I ache♫
Hey look! It's Pearl Jam!
Can I have some marshmallows?
Devil’s office… … No, he went down to Georgia lookin’ for a soul to steal.
"... Neither do I now take him out." Sir?
Uhh, I’ll just go wish myself into the corn field.
I'm washing my socks.
♫Hey-hey we’re the Children, people say we children around…♫
I saw nothing like this in Antwerp
The sand crabs are using their Death-ray.
Nellie Manley who’s real name is Sissy Macho…
Go find out what he put on his job application under: "Do you drink a lot?"
They're trying to get as far away from Jackie Coogan in tiny shorts as possible.
Here's the last box of your resentment for me!
I'm Sergeant Womanly.
I call unnecessary use of ellipses there. Five yard penalty.
Finally we meet, sack of mucus.
"4:30...Johnson..." stuck in zipper.
Look, it's a giant beach chicken... oh it's just Jackie Coogan.
"And the SCIENTISTS go to lay their eggs in the sand."
"There are only 3 pastries left on the tray, I've got to get down to the office!!"
"It's a brand new 1962 DOUBLE HELIX."
SERVO: "Even MIKE NELSON visit's the fair."
Is it time to call Grandma? Let's see ... No!
Great, gifts from Germany. Braunschweiger, cars with heaters that don't work and identification papers.
Grandma's Barbara Bush!
We're the children of the damned you've heard about.
The Magnificent Seven... Year Old's.
"He's a spoiled brat!"
"He won't drink with me."
Imagine having your butt whooped by "and the rest".
Come back here ! I'll break your neck ! That's really more of a disincentive.
See you next week, Mrs Robinson...
Oh no, his shorts... That's right, his horrible shorts...
Say, have any of you said the darnedest thing lately?
Well, I'm glad to know the future has constant organ music.
SIR, HA-HA-HA-HA-HA, SIR!
PUSH BUTTON PHONING!
Ren and Stimpy music.
"There's something wrong with the steering wheel!" "Stop it!" Well I'm not doing it on purpose!
"Let's say you want to call your mother who lives in Des Moine." Why?
......... I dropped my doe - nut.........
Pork chop...... going through aorta
The Don King state forest.
The HIT is ordered.
The Fuhrer will like that....
Mine's bacon! Mine's horseradish!
His sitting was out of control by the end.
Oh, his breath. Even from here.
The sure footed executive goat.
Remember when sex wasn't a job?
He has a real screen absence.
Moses... Oh sorry, wrong guy.
Remind me to never be a child.
Ya know, look, it's just a peepshow, it's not like I want to cheat on you or anything. Sheesh.
Wow, that is one impressive corn-dog stand.
Oh, hang on - Niels Bohr is using the toaster.
"And if your areas not clear call your doctor"
Ah, these monorail designers, they have a one-track mind.
this is the exact moment he became Uncle Fester, and lo he put his head in a vice and slept on a bed of nails.
C'mon! lets go grope that Eskimo!
Uncle Fester: Grief Counselor
Thou hath angered Bud.
He's gonna use his coconut-powered spanking machine on me!
'Lord of the Flies' action figures!
Here, you're a geek, why don't you bite the head off this bird?
Hey, we're young and perky! Get the hell out of our way!
How do animals learn? Well, as long as they learn to taste good I really don't care
Stop trying to form a bond with us...we HAD you- isn't that enough?
"You have enough gas?" I already blasted a hole through the seat cover.
"Now let's say you want to call your mother, who lives in Des Moines." Why?
That evening, to oppressive cloud of the telephone company hang over the world.
"...and PRESTO!" Well, andante maybe.