907 - Hobgoblins
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
First, I'm gonna hit myself with road flares.
This from an ASSISTANT security guard.
I don't need to see every part of the human anatomy outlined in spandex! I can trust it's all there!
Aha, and what brisk witticism will this chappy have to offer?
I fired a starter pistol and whined out another line!
At this point I hadn't yet reacted.
Nick's a smoking husk right now. He won't mind if we take his van!
This is Old Guy Radio, W-O-L-D.
I sense the old man calling me.
I would really love to get out of the rat race and guard a U-Store-It
"I just want you to stay clear of it." "Oh, I understand." And I don't really care anyway.
These honor system banks are just never going to make it.
"Why didn't you listen to me?!" Because you're old. I mean, would you listen to you?
Proof there's no life after drama club.
Scram, it's the owner of the house! We have to shoot the movie somewhere else!
Haha, we drank your bong water!
This is where the years of mall walking pays off!
He does the same speed on the Ventura Freeway.
Turn on your baby minder.
Some guy sneaking around like a silent film villain.
Hey, that guy tipped his own table over!.....hey he did it again!.....and yet again! What is this?!
Oh big man, you strangle a plush toy.
Pepe LePeau came in the back door!
This is where his bocce ball training comes in handy.
Mike, if I run out of vomit, can I have some of yours?
Made love in a Chevy van and that's NOT allright with me...
My fajita plate was really hot and I touched it!!
Her pants have zapped her energy!
I don't like the Old Guy Getting Killed Channel.
Nick's also a black belt in whack-a-mole.
Serpico... Dirty Harry... Jake Gittes... Kevin!
Now Nick's going to declare martial law, loot his museums and call in an air strike!
Is that a condom she has hanging from her blouse?
So uh, was that sex?
Hey, the end credits! It was a terrible movie but at least it was short!
♫We're on the road to nowhere! ♫ Come on inside ♫
*sniff sniff* Smells like Jack Ruby.
Poor guy, and he had so little promise!
He tried to crowd surf and no one wanted to touch him.
"That's weird." I'm not having sex right now.
Crow - "Once and for all, I have to decide my orientation."
"I'll bet Nick can field-strip his rake blindfolded"
"Oh the tension....will they ever water their lawn....ever?"
"I'm gonna compost you man!"
"Choose your garden weasel!"
"You know this place has real garbage-house potential"
"How do you read a record?"
"Pee-Wee Herman; Casual Wear"
Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system, but they dont LOCK anything.
I just want to measure and see if you will fit in the incinerator.
The Club Scum courtesy van arrives.
I had the popular Jerry Orbach hairstyle back then.
"paint. my. muscle car. prune-coloured, please!"
A girl is touching me, yuuuuuck
It's the 80s, do a lot of coke and vote for ronald reagan'
"It's an Agnes DeMille dream ballet."
"I don't like the way you greeted me at Wal-Mart."
Wow, they got a scum-side seat!
[Crow] "I bet Nick can also field strip his rake blind-folded"
You know this IS hell, y'know. Now when we meet people, we'll be able to report what hell is like.
Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?
¨Oh my God¨---If this is your God, you have a serious ontological crisis.....
Now come on Nick... oh yeah, he burned to death. Oh well.
"Fish Picker! WOOO!!"
"Three hours of CPO: Sharky. Oh, like I'm the pig!"
"Ironically, nobody in the band Wang Chung had sex that night."
♫ Taaaake ooooon meeee. Taaake meeee ooooon ♫
I shot you instead. Is that okay?
"Did I ever tell you what I did in the war?" Shot off my toe and got out.
Ah, so Nick's in the FRENCH army, I see.
Yep, yep, that's true, that's what happened, uh-huh, yep, yep.
"I remember the night it happened..." Golf-carts were bigger then.
-"It's really a long story."
-"I've got all the time in the world."
-Oh, okay then. Call me Ishmael...
This scene's making me nostalgic for the film Gymkata.
Did Mark Rothko do this room?
If I run out of vomit, can I have some of yours?
[bank vault] Burgess Meredith's in there reading.
You and your stupid thoughtfulness can go to hell.
"Stand by for spittake.....SPITTAKE AWAY!"
*gasp!* "Robert Plant!"
I wonder if he knows his face looks like that...
That's not a woman, that's David Lee Roth.
I didn't like the way you greeted me at Wal-Mart.
Enough with the Count Chocula music!
♪ Everybody THROW UP tonight ♫
Member of FDI Murder. Death guaranteed for up to 50,000 DIE!
Oh, the show is starting! Yay yay yay!
The lesser Kennedys out on the town.
She's dancing AND cleaning the acoustic tiles.
Jean-Paul Sartre and the Heartbreakers.
Oh, this is that Basque Separatist rock I've heard about...
Oh, Jock Itch! You're so helpful!
Their car turned into a Lincoln and crashed!
It's a bonsai bigfoot!
Camaro: The official car of "Peaked in High School".
Y'know, this IS Hell--and now when we meet people, we'll be able to report what Hell is like...
"Could we have a law in the future that films need to be made by film-makers!?"
"So what, now he becomes a Jedi knight? Why am I SITTING HERE!‽"
In an unforeseen tragedy, the two actors were NOT in the car at the time of the crash.
Yeah, Club Scum. So why are there lunch ladies serving tater tots back there?
This movie is giving me Current Traumatic Stess Disorder!
Can you catch a venereal disease from a movie?
I just want to be brave for my horrible, frigid, non-supportive girlfriend!
Watch out now, you little doo-dad!
"Luckly all I wanted was a good thermos."
"Why are we watching an insane woman?"
"There's a girl touching me YUCK!"
"She's dancing and cleaning the acoustic tiles."
"Uh, Satan's on the phone!"
"Willkommen, Bienvenue, Welcome."
"Is she a hit ... or a miss?"
They should really add an 'S' to that.
Hi, our special tonight is poached Go to Hell!
So, umm, that was sex?
Someone's rubbing puppets on us
The ZZ Topp version of sexuality!
Just as long as Demi does come out shaking her saline bags.
Huh, what, has he got pringles in his shoes?
Mike if I run out of vomit can I have some of yours?
Yep, yep, that’s what happened, uh-huh…
He's really my mentor, he taught me how to truly love a woman... From across the street... Through a telescope.
This is what I was telling you about - I used it to kill Archduke Ferdinand.
You don't own one of those portable radios with headphones, do you? Or one of those horseless carriages?
"Oh, I'm sorry, the donkey mud wrestlers are supposed to use the REAR entrance." - You're the expert on that.
You know, this scene really makes me wanna go clubbing... The director of this film! Where is he?
Get out of there, mom!
I can also tell you about my problematic urethra, if you'll follow me...
Ah... my insulin
Throw some miracle grow in his eyes!
It's a Club Scum Christmas!
When threatened she gains the strength of a thousand trollops!
Yes, yes, I had been doing quite a bit of crack that day as I recall.
"Fish Picker." That's our one song, good night everybody.
"Those creatures... the vault... I tried" ... sentence fragments... just phrases....
Bullitt! ...Now for seniors.
Is she related to wacky t-backy?? haha...ha... I'm leaving.
I just blew up the studio accountant for no reason.
And he's assumed into B-movie heaven.
At this point I haven't yet reacted.
The script to "Billy Madison 2" is kept hidden in here.
"Did I tell you, what did I do, when I was in the Army?" I was Tokyo Rose.
Now this is a really cheap biopic of Jim Morrison.
Ah, badly lit warehouse, I feel better already!
I've got my outdoor eyebrows on now.
"When I find him I'm gonna make him sign in so bad!"
my beautiful dream from my childhood of exploding another human being.
"make me..." prop up the table if its uneven
ooh! what just crunched?
"pig licker" I think, so a man who licks pigs, or perhaps liquor made from pigs.
did you see that? the hose out-acted him
Meet the hobgoblins! Frankie, Snifffles, Bounce-Bounce, and The Claw!
Ladies and gentlemen.....Flatbutt!
Paint my muscle car prune color please!
Can we have a law that in the future, films have to be made by filmmakers!
Sometimes Kathrine Hepburn shows up, we have to chase her out of here.
"Protect my red shorts!"
So we sent our armies to the Gulf War with garden shovels and grass rollers?
Its the 80's! Do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan!
"There's been an accident at the studio." We made Hobgoblins.
Filipino push fighting