908 - The Touch of Satan
|Short - none|
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Weren't they concerned about holding an audience at all back in the seventies?
Sightsee on your own time, Beelzebub!!!!!!
If she had another one of those, she could be Melissa "Two Sheds" Strickland
Cups glued to my lip
Ok, kids, the picknick is this way an- AAAH!
Hey, a signed copy of the necromonicon!
-"You guys scare me, ha ha ha, signed Satan."
Did they catch him?
Nope, I'm still at large.
*singing* What do you get when you fall from grace? You only get cast into perdition.
Well you know he's Satan because he didn't signal his turn!
Emby Mellay. That's not a name, that's a bad scrabble hand.
With Screwtape on kettle drum! Wormwood on harpsicord.
"I must agree with that."
I sure love the yelling channel.
Spreading evil and hay fever wherever he goes!
What do you get when you fall from grace? You only get cast into perdition!
"Unit One this is Unit Four" I'll hang up and listen
hmmm did a plucked turkey in a wig just talk to me?
"this is where the fish live"....uh you're kind of an idiot aren't you
Man, if you can't trust the devil.
I should phone Satan, let him know I'm gonna be a little late...
Oh, and there's a huge insane scabby gorilla wandering around too.
"Good. So we're both in the clutches of the devil because you wanted seconds."
"Mike, can you back off? You smell like canned tamales."
The American Gothic people take revenge.
Those walnuts are tearing through the hay
Really crooked lawyer though. Man, he'll embezzle the socks right off ya.
Tastes vaguely of bag-sweat.
Surprisingly short run-on time for a seventies car.
Could you drop me off at Tanglewood? I'm conducting Mahler's 10th this evening.
Grandma must've exploded or somethin'.
GAH! Where did they find that 590 watt light bulb?
Harpsichord is really a stupid instrument!... Sorry I'm in a bad mood.
aHA! I found the murder weapon!
Would he even FIT in the iron maiden?
There's a delightful scene later in the movie where this old lady raps. Hahaha... no there isn't...
Ah! It's a hideous thing made of skin! --Oh, it's me...
I like to sniff my blinds before I go to bed.
"Stamps? -- No." Back rub? -- No. -- Come on...
Robert the cat. "Maybe he's inside." With Andrew the dog.
I hear ya man. Moo. Let me tell ya.
[pouring his home-made cider] "I make it myself. I, uh... put peanuts in it" Ooh I sure hope he said "peanuts".
Spreading evil and hay fever where ever he goes!
Hmm... Killer grandma. Locked in a barn. Something's not right here.
"Man! These walnuts are really tearin' though this hay!"
Wow, look at the smoke! Everyone must be burning their grandmas today.
Aw, and grandma'd just gotten a job as a greeter at Walmart.
Caleb, what kinda charcoal did you use?
Wait, you can't use "Amazing Grace" in a devil movie!
Ahh, good day. Took a walk, got that dress sown, killed...
"What brings you out this way?" - And if you say "my squad car", I'll chainsaw you in half!
They turned me down for that policy! They said it couldn't happen!
Gorgo Mormo, you wanna help me with this knot?
"Will you stay here a few days?"
"Stay here with me."
STAY ... HERE.
Just wanna drive through the "Director of Photography" credit real quick...
"What's it like?"
The steering on your Maverick.
This is my unbelievably sweaty dad.
"Not me..." I already had the whammy when I was little.
This is where the fish lives
I see Grandma behind that tree. You might wanna make a run for it.
Lady- '...I was just wondering if you want to come up and see it?'
I laughed for a good 5 minutes heartily
Hold a sec everybody, I just wanna see if he gets his shoes on...yes! Great, glad they showed that to us.
Wow, the walnuts are really tearing through the hay!
Did a pluck turkey in a wig just talk to me?
Don't spook the walnuts!
Honey, I found a deputy's badge in my stew...
Now, he's handcuffed to the meatloaf...
Hot dog, french fries, ramen noodles - look at 'im go!
Oliver Hardy? Just eat!
I love the Yelling Channel.
Who's got it goin' on? I do, that's who!
"A dreadful sound is in his ears..."
Mike: I think it's PAULA COLE!
Well right about then them Duke boys showed up.
"The wicked man travaileth with pain all his days..." ...said Madeline.
"You guys scare me, ha ha ha... signed, Satan"
"Did all the actors drink a quart of Robitussin before shooting?"
I haven't understood anything since McKinley went down...
"Will you stay here a few days?" / "Huh?" / "Stay here with me..." - What?
♫ This soooooong is innnnnn the puuuuuublic domain. That's whyyyyyy we uuuuuused it twiiiiiice. ♫
"I put peanus in it." Ooh, I sure hope he said "peanuts."
Don't join Al Pacino's law firm.
"I'm possessed by the devil." Michael Eisner?
Take my daughter, but spare my commemorative plates!
"I love you." And I've grown awfully fond of your grandma.
"Uh... me? Could you fast forward?"
Good. So we're both in the clutches of the Devil because you wanted seconds.
"How can I help you?" What can I, a single puss, do?
Well hey - a frog that's not deformed!
The editor got called out of the room a lot...
You know, with Mitchum you can skip a week. Did you know that?
"I really wanted to fly but I couldn't do that so I ran."
You're kind of an idiot, aren't you?
It's the loneliest firefly! ... and his friends.
We'll probably stop by where the fish lives.
Huh! A wrinkle!
-"Who is it?"
-IS Captain Hook there?
I'm concerned my sandwich might be small and inadequate.
♫What do you get when you fall from grace? You’ll only get cast into perdition!♫
A kabuki actor's been hit!
I think it's Tony Musante as a kind of hip Satan who solves crimes
She only kills when she's crazy.
Why wont you lay any eggs?
What was Anne Heche doin' in there?
Oh no, the credits are unspooling backwards!
[much later at end of movie, credits start playing backwards]
AAAH! The Devil!
"Hey, the odometer's all sixes!"
"Someone's playing the cicada in the background."
"Please feel free to peruse my supply of unguents, suspensions, tinctures, compounded formulas, and other sundries!"
"He's got two huge Sudafed™ on top of his car!"
"Good Night, Creepy Vacuous Girl!"
"Just ram that moldy olive loaf into your loser face."
"Odd, Disturbing Score Co-Written By Mike Post & Igor Stravinsky."
You been hittin' the booze again!
"Yea..." - Team!
"Who're you?!" - My name is Margret Rawhide Chew.
"Is that your car?" - Mind if I skip rocks across it?
Your folks seem nice & evil.
I like this place because they have bulk eye of newt.
May the Dark One hold your soul in his clutch--I mean, uh... Safe trip!
"I put peanuts in it!" Oh I sure hope he said peanuts...
EMBY MELLAY???? That's not a name, that's a bad scrabble hand!
They should just call Harvey Keitel over to fix things.
*sigh* TALK QUICKER!!
This happened to me on one of my first dates, grandma killed a guy............dated the girl for a while though.
"I asked Jodie to stay a few days, and he agreed." He agreed that she asked him?
"She's my great grandmother." She's not THAT great.
He's runnin' around over in Newport like he's J Edgar Hoover. Pretty dress though.
The walnuts are TEARING through the hay!
Mike! Behind that tree, it's Clu Gulager!
May your tomatoes be flavorless!
They're just pausing out of spite now.
Did she just crow?
I meant to ask him in for pie, I don't know what happened.
Mostly, I just like to turn off Canada.
I usually like the left side of the bed if that's ok.
Hallmark Hall of Fame presents: The Touch of Satan.
I stayed in the tanning booth for a whole decade.
Unit One is looking at the radio, giggling
"I knew you were gonna say that" Then give me the finger like that
Is that right? I should check my dictonotomy
DIE DIE DIE!!! I mean hello.
From the waist down, a woman.
He's got 2 huge Sudafed on top of his car.
Well, you know about Mrs. Wilma "failed genetic experiment" right?
Nope, I'm still at large!
"Burn the witch!" Oh, and go Packers too, but mostly 'burn the witch'!
I'm gonna time this pause. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5--wow!--6, 7...
Uh, Mrs. Rotting Pumpkin Head? Hello?
Nice door, I'd like to see it crumpled up next to my bed and...Oh, wait.
Come on grandma Dried Applehead.
Look out, walnut stampede!
42:58 Anyway... I will shake the paint off your walls, honey.
"2,3..." Then get this '4!' hahahaha.
I told you I could take you, you pansies. I can take the whole family.
"There's a way." Right after this
Where's my bike? I reported it stolen 80 years ago.
I've said "ZAAA" in better towns than this!
Emby Mellay, that's not a name,.... it's a bad scrabble hand.
The last days of Edgar Winter...
Enhance your moody soundtrack music with Tiny Fart Sounds!!!
...Hahahahaah, and then he died!!!
You're 127 years young!
The only known footage of bigfoot in a T-shirt.
Could you not french my daughter during breakfast?
So how many head of walnut do you have?
Come sit with meee and Satan toooo, he's your friend and miiiiiine!
GET OFF THE ROAD MAN-GOAT!!!
I sure love the Yelling Channel.
Emby Mellay?!? That's not a name, it's a bad Scrabble hand!
"...there's more to this town than meets the eye."
"No kidding, like what?"
Like what I'm doin to your car
I actually need something meathooked. I'm gonna go see if grandma's up...
You're kind of... dumb, aren't you?
We're back at the beginning. This film is a Mobius strip!
Man, if you can't trust the devil...
Grandma's flashpaper bathrobe turned out to be a mistake.
So this family has been pausing for centuries. It's tradition.
-"They think I'm a witch."
-It only rhymes with witch.
"My father is a lawyer." For the tzar's court. "And he wanted me to be a lawyer." Stop it!
Please, not in front of the fish!
"You didn't 'call' him?" Or 'mail' anything?
"Is this your pond?" You can take your time, it's a tough question.
He drives a Maverick? I would put the Prince of Darkness in a muscle car.
The vineyards of Ernest and Julio Satan.
-This is very 70s. I'm guessing Anthony Zerbe is in this.
-You know I think it's Tony Musante as a kind of hip Satan, who solves crimes.
And by good night I mean shut-up
Grandma's flash-paper bathrobe turned out to be a bad idea.
Wanna help me calve a walnut?
This is where my tongue lives.
Oh no, the credits are gonna unspool backwards now!
Maybe this was once fast-paced, then someone spilled a grape Nee-Hi on it and it got all gummy...
Did a plucked turkey in a wig just talk to me?
Is this the same pause or is this technically a subpause.
you're not gonna 'Zah' your way out of this one pally
Andy, I think there was a demon in the car
Now she's Melissa "No-Sheds" Strickland.
Why do I feel suddenly hungry for CARNATION ICE CREAM?
Front desk? There's a mummy in my room.
There's been a walnut uprising!
This is where the fish lives!
I sure hope he said peanuts.
The Touch of Satan, softens your hands while you do your dishes