911 - Devil Fish
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Ooh. I had it set on 'KILL PATIENT'
"It lasted two...three minutes"
"Like my last 12 pack"
Man,the Staten Island ferry is WAY off course
[Monster appears for the first time] "It's Gertrude Stein"
[Mike during the invention exchange]: "I tried to [beat] weld mine..."
The comic timing there is brilliant.
The devil fish is always there. Does he have a police scanner or something?
Well, at least, he seems stable now.
"That's up to you to decide.
Well, we did accident yesterday. That was kind of boring.
♪♬ Southern man, gonna, eat your heeaad ♪♬
I thought you were the octopus in disguise
“Why didn’t I get it on tape?"...because you were drunk?
My files show it's not a shame, sir.
"Ah, I'm in the mood for a little Italian."
"You know, she displaces no water at all."
"Yuck, he's trying to be sexy!"
"Ooo, right, our mission and stuff."
"Psst, scene's starting, pass it on. Scene's starting, pass it on."
Meanwhile, in the world today...
No. Wrong. Do it again!
And a cry of "Opa!" rings out...
-- This is why I got rid of my monstrously-large octopus.
-- I think that was wise.
Why couldn't I have been Wendell Corey...?
It looks like that thing that comes out of the Wizard of Id's caldron,,,
What's going on? There's nothing there.
You should start SEEING motorcycles, Mike.
AAAA! It's starting over!
Who am I? Please, don't let me die before I know who I am.
Oh, look. She's power pouting.
You'd better take off your suit and wipe that up.
Action back fat!
"Slooowly I acted... step by step..."
You have overdue books!
Say good-bye to beer for me!
Slooow daaay, huh?
This is how I like to fish. A flashlight and a flamethrower.
Yep, we have bike rack.
I love creating buddy lists!
Look at that, he's just hangin' his Evinrude right out there! --no that doesn't work...
I'm a recovering alcoholic, I can't eat that guy!
So I think our viking is all wired up.
Clarence! Paul! Raif! Luigi!
Get the harness out.
Get the hardness out?!
Thank YOU, Stephen Hawking!
Devil fish! The Alistair Crappy story.
They're off being scrawny.
It's a man wearing a London phone booth!
We've got dolphins in the basement.
I can't believe I directed North!
Huh... I didn't know humans could survive without flesh.
Man, feeding the whole ocean is hard.
"What's on the screen?" "Negative." What do you mean, 'negative'?
Yuck! He's trying to be sexy!
Enjoy the softcore porn soundtrack.
"I like the color of your eyes." The rest of you is hideous. Bye!
Who was that and how do we know each other?
We now return to the Cut Finger story.
I'm Devil Fish, for Polident!
"Yep, here it is: 'Ten O'Clock, Heard voice filled with hate.'"
Just because you CAN edit doesn't mean you SHOULD.
He's never been up against a mediocre woman with a small hand axe before!
[Dolphins Jumping] Nooo!! Wrong!!!
Every time i meet a guy hes gay, married , or getting attacked by a giant octopus!! haha
Careful! She might not really be dead and start flopping around.
Did someone just bowl?
I feel like I actually AM walking in Memphis!
You think the Coast Guard would be in my neice's high school play?
'If I can just hold him off 'till the knife rusts!'
'Damn, it's rust proof! However, if we fight much longer, the knife will become encrusted with barnacles and be rendered ineffective!'
You know, I hope they stay underwater a long time, and don't do anything but swim around, and we get to see every second of it!
Just because you CAN edit doesn't mean you SHOULD.
'It's underwater speed is over 30 knots!'
'Are those Don knots?'
'It's The Blue Show, starring Blue.'
'Hi, Blue here. My first guest is Teal.'
Look! He's built like a G.I. Joe! Even has shoulder sockets so you can pose him!
Ed Wood's octopus scene was a lot more convincing...
[gasp!] The Devil Fish is on the roof!
They're gonna see a dolphin robbing a 7-11...
Man, dolphins are real smart - but touchy!
Man, ABYSS II wasn't very good...
Aw - they pantsed me!
I guess he doesn't like the pork tartare...
glug glug glug glug glug, ahhhh.... ka chhh, glug glug glug glug glug, ahhh, *belch*
"I KNOW!!" Is this guy dubbed by J. Peterman?
That's six degrees off the port beer, I mean bow.
I'll answer when we cut back to our scene. It shouldn't be long.
And now the news.
And now the news again.
And now some more news.
That was the news.
I hate the way you say Bob!
Every time I meet a guy, he's either married, gay or getting eaten by a giant octopus.
Underwater fights are like the drum solos of movies.
You shoot scuba diving in slow motion, you could actually go back in time.
"Get your flame thrower out, grab a stick of juicy fruit...."
(doorbell rings) Does she live in a department store?
"I can't hear you." I'm listening to Shonen Knife
Our special tonight is Devil Fish with Satanic string beans and deep Lucifered potatoes.
Lemme clear the table off for you ma'am. Thanks.
Let's tip it just to scare her.
Huh, the devil fish is on the roof!
"Well Doc, what's the story?" Runaway bunny.
His hair's getting all tangled in the reel-to-reel.
When dumb guys snorkel.
Man, feeding the whole ocean is hard.
It's Mrs. Dash air actually.
"Wait, I'll check my notes." - Yes, here it is. '10:00 heard voice filled with hate.'
Farrah Fawcett Minor
Enjoy the sides of my breasts!
Come on legs, evolve!!
This scene omitted for content.
So Mike, turtles excrete wax, and you humans put it in cans and just rub it all over your cars? Good, that's good. Just keep doing that.
They'll be number 2 soon enough
This is the dawning of the age of seaquarium!
Look, he's built like a G.I. Joe! He even has shoulder sockets so you can pose him!
I'm want to come up here and pout a little bit. Is that ok if I pout a little?
I'm pleased at things.
"Whatever it is, I wouldn't want it inside me." Well I would!
Ha, I hung one out for fun. :)
"Oh my god, Peter!" Is your European-ness O-K?
"Hey!" Stop in the name of Europe!
Ah, the heavily sexed world of appliance repair.
I feel European upon seeing that.
"The cells of this creature have a life of only 8 months?" *takes off sunglasses* I'm going to kick your ass.
I got the Amiga working!
His broadcast day is over.
Crow - "After this beer, we should have a beer sometime!" lol.
ding, dong. ding, dong. Girl in blue satin robe heads towards door. Mike - "It's my daily Victoria Secrets Delivery!"
Re. Bob's recording of initial strange event. Tom Servo - "gulp, gulp, gulp. gulp...ahhhh. Spshhhht. Gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp, gulp. Spshhhht.
Pre-dried, immediately spread blood.
Man, Abyss 2 isn't very good.
I tried to unclog my lawnmower with my feet.
The directors vision...lots of shots of things.
"A lotta' guys named 'Beau' were killed that day."
"Mike, how come you don't have huge rubber pants?"
"Who says I don't?"
"They're deploying Sea Dreidels!"
"Although we are having tentacle difficulties!"
"I'm made of ground chuck and lava."
"I did my own splenectomy and saved!"
"Y'know, just because you can edit doesn't mean you should."
"Mrs. Kilroy was here."
The Blue Show. Starring Blue.
You know, that door's not even red and I want to paint it black.
Buy yourself something ugly.
My rash, it's going away!
2000 Flushes: The Movie.
Well, um, blub, I guess.
Cello, twelve fathoms.
He's gettin' paid ten large to whack a grouper.
The film crew's really having fun throwing stuff at her.
"He's enjoying the BOLD ADVENTUROUS life of a TV REPAIRMAN"
GYPSY: alarm, a dolphin warship has just decoulped of the port bow, it's weapons and propulsion system is advanced way beyond our understanding......
It's like shooting fish...not in a barrel.
Stop in the name of Europe!
I gotta finish this bomb for Pakistan by Saturday.
He's listening to Awaken the Beer Drinker Within.
Well, he's going to need new pants
Hey, that's Rip Torn in drag
"I've just discovered something terrifying..." Carol Channing nude!
Is this really an appropriate place for the soft core porn music?
General Organizer: Just put some things over there and over there...
"No, no, I'm not going to fall for that" No, really! I AM getting divorced, toots.
Something vague this way comes.
Well, you could have put grandma's ashes in a more dignified container.
He threw a little Euro-tantrum
Janet ! Janet ! Oh, I forgot, I'm nasty. Miss Jackson !
Now is this Fab or Rob ?
I've never heard anything like it. It was almost like a voice. A voice? Did I say voice? I meant DOORKNOB!
That's so big it's an eleventacle!
"It's a substance necessary to life." Like cigarettes, fire and thumbs.
Ah Captain Pantyhose.
Come on, beer! Get in my mouth!
Well, we got dolphins in the basement...
Oh no, there's the shark that asked me out!
"Oh isn't this an orange juice, oh darn."
I WILL seek my revenge...but first, I'm going to snag me a Charleston Chew.
Sorry about that electrician crack earlier. My father's village was attacked by electricians.
Their gonna see a dolphin robbing a 7/11.
Whatever it is, I think it's good we took it out of him.
That's my special line, a beer is in trouble somewhere.
Something vague, this way comes.
My bikini is frightened.
Hey it's a hoochie coochie fish!
Dolphins won the Superbowl! Yay!
"Two geniuses should never work together." But these two guys'll be fine.
"what's that?" Kraftverk.
"Anyone who has the chance to tap the tremendous reserves of the sea will have the future." "...in his hands." "Yeah, thanks for helping me out there."
It's a movie that constantly reassures you, you don't need to concern yourself with this.
Even in death he won't shut up!
Welcome to downtown Shackville.
Of course I am American and not Italian, I drive a truck!
What she said, after this.
Somewhere a beer is in trouble...
Yes, here at WOI we do this kind of thing
"Why don't you take me with you?" -Because you dress like Robbin Williams
Wouldn't it be great if you were devil fishing? And they had beer! Really watery American beer.
Sorry about that 'elctrician crack' earlier- my fathers village was attacked by electricians...
They're gonna airlift us out of the movie! Here we are! Here we are!
Another dark-shaded mobbed-up docter.
Ok I guess I'll except a little sex from you, go ahead.
"I'm no expert..." But this is pointy.
Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind!
Devil Fish in love... Devil Fish in looove...
If I don't come back adopt a single currency, eat snails, and don't shave your armpits.
Boy, am I from Florida
"His heart gave out." Well, I GAVE it out.
The sherrif's official report simply read, "ick".
Beery guy's theme